CM vs Real Life

[Sadokist]

Only in CM can you try to point blank something beneath you and end up shooting yourself in the stomach on accident.
Only in CM can you try to hug someone and instead beat them with something.
Only in CM can you accidentally shoot someone at a 45 degree angle from where you're aiming.
Only in CM are you going to get tackled down by something then reflexively stand up while marines are firing over you (and get yourself blasted to bits).

Figured I'd compile some things that people try to do, or do in relation to code they can't change, and the wildly different and improbable outcomes that occur.

[NoahKirchner]

Only in CM can you be part of a company of space marines working for a mega-corporation, get sent to another colonized planet fully loaded with futuristic gear, only to find the entire colony has been massacred by quadrupedal/bipedal arthropods which recover odd hand-crab creatures from eggs that then shove a proboscis down their throat whenever you get too close, impregnating you with an embryo (that is basically just very fast developing cancer), which after about twenty-thirty minutes (ten if nested iirc), explodes out of your stomach where a worm pops out.

[Sad_Corn]

Only in CM that trained militaary crew, everyone with more than 30 years, actually fight to death because someone stolen their attachs

[Sadokist]

Only in CM can you be part of a company of space marines working for a mega-corporation, get sent to another colonized planet fully loaded with futuristic gear, only to find the entire colony has been massacred by quadrupedal/bipedal arthropods which recover odd hand-crab creatures from eggs that then shove a proboscis down their throat whenever you get too close, impregnating you with an embryo (that is basically just very fast developing cancer), which after about twenty-thirty minutes (ten if nested iirc), explodes out of your stomach where a worm pops out.

Lol that reminds me of this one survivor who was like "yea so our entire colony was taken out by these things, about 20 security guards armed with sub machine guns" i'm like "there's only 7 ayys right now and they suck, your story makes no sense"

[Sadokist]

Only in CM that trained militaary crew, everyone with more than 30 years, actually fight to death because someone stolen their attachs

Everybodies Dossier should read "this is my first day as a soldier, I didn't go through bootcamp and I've never fired a gun, in fact I haven't been outside the psych ward in 10 years".

[Casany]

Only on CM can one have such a salty but accepting community

[Sadokist]

Only on CM can one have such a salty but accepting community

True

[Sad_Corn]

Only on CM can one have such a salty but accepting community

>Accepting community

that was a nice joke, hum?

[LarryOrtega]

Only in CM can you be part of a company of space marines working for a mega-corporation, get sent to another colonized planet fully loaded with futuristic gear, only to find the entire colony has been massacred by quadrupedal/bipedal arthropods which recover odd hand-crab creatures from eggs that then shove a proboscis down their throat whenever you get too close, impregnating you with an embryo (that is basically just very fast developing cancer), which after about twenty-thirty minutes (ten if nested iirc), explodes out of your stomach where a worm pops out.

This.

[Liran343]

Only in CM can a mature tier 3 can survive a AT rocket to the face and meme about it to her sisters.

[TheMusician321]

Only in CM can a small lizard snake deflect two buckshots...in a row.

[Karmac]

Only in the latest CM update will wearing a soldiers uniform under your armour stop you from being insta-killed by point blank buckshot to the face. You will still be blinded due to the buckshot in your eyes however. Unsure if wearing a helmet stops the blindening.

[Joe4444]

only in CM will people shout in comms because somone has no hair.

[LarryOrtega]

Only in CM we have Bill Carson

[MrJJJ]

Only in CM do marines not give a shit what happens to them or their teammates most of the time as they walk around with broken limbs, internal bleeding and organ damage in huge pain.

[Liran343]

Only in CM do marines not give a shit what happens to them or their teammates most of the time as they walk around with broken limbs, internal bleeding and organ damage in huge pain.

Pain is only a concept.

[SPACEpotato1]

Only in CM (And SS13 in general) are people not able to look further than a few metres without losing all vision beyond that point.

And have it shaped like a square.

[KEY]

Only in CM is it acceptable for Doctors and Engineers, Security Officers and important positions on a space ship to ICly have no idea what they are doing due to the OOC player not knowing the guides yet.

[Sargeantmuffinman]

Only in CM, the military is incompetent.

[Swish]

It's year 2179 and humanity has mastered faster than light travel, but their combat troops deploy at night, in the bush, without even rudimentary 20th century night vision devices...

Weyland must be trimming costs.

[Swish]

Only in CM we have Bill Carson

What's the deal with this player? I've seen him in various roles, and he didn't do anything outrageous or dumb. Why the notoriety?

[LarryOrtega]

What's the deal with this player? I've seen him in various roles, and he didn't do anything outrageous or dumb. Why the notoriety?

It's his pass, he's a good player, but a long time ago *Insert Morgan Freeman voice*

He was CO, and use to let his marine die in horrible tactics, but now he's a good player. But legends never die, even if they are memes