Tomas Svensson's Big Book of Threats Vol. 1

[Ping]

Tommy doesn't usually get mad, but when he does...

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"I VILL SLICE OFF YOUR HEAD UND REPLACE MY TOILET VITH YOUR DILAPIDATED CARCASS!"

"I VILL CAVE YOUR FUCKING SKULL IN VITH A SHOVEL UND ZEN FAIL TO BURY YOU FOR ZE DRAMATIC IRONY!"

"I VILL PLAY REVERSE HANGMAN VITH YOUR HANGING CORPSE, SPELLING OUT ZE VORDS VITH YOUR SMALL INTESTINE!"

"I VILL BORROW SOMEONE ELSES INTESTINES ONCE VE RUN OUT OF YOURS!"

"I VILL SLICE OFF YOUR SKIN UND VEAR IT TO YOUR MOTHERS FUNERAL!"

"I VILL TIE YOU TO ZE BOTTOM OF A CAR UND DRIVE ZAT CAR THROUGH AN ORPHANAGE, UND LATER A GLASS FACTORY!"

"I VILL SAVE UP MONEY TO AFFORD A CAR FOR ZIS EXACT PURPOSE!"

"I VILL SPLATTER YOUR FUCKING BRAINS UND BONE MARROW ACROSS A VHITE CANVAS UND ZEN SUBMIT YOU AS MODERN FUCKING ART!"

"I VILL TIE YOUR BLOATED, DISGUSTING CORPSE TO A BILLBOARD IN ZE MIDDLE OF LOS ANGELES AS A VARNING FOR OBESITY!"

"I VILL SHOVE A 6 FOOT LONG METAL ROD UP YOUR ASS, OUT THROUGH YOUR MOUTH, UND ZEN USE YOU FOR FUCKING BENCH PRESSES"

"YOU VILL BEG ME TO SHOVE A 6 FOOT LONG METAL ROD UP YOUR ASS IN ZE FIRST PLACE!"

"I VILL CARVE YOUR FUCKING FEMUR INTO A FLUTE UND ZEN SUBMIT IT TO A SCHOOLS MUSIC PROGRAM!"

"I VILL DRINK YOUR FUCKING BRAINS UND BLOOD FROM YOUR SKULL VHILE LISTENING TO JAZZ. NOT EVEN GOOD JAZZ, IT VILL BE KENNY G!"

[DrPng]

Not to hate on you or anything, but when people play German characters and replace certain letters with "v" or "z" or "w", it just really gets on my nerves. Nice threats though.

[Ikmalmn]

Needs a better insult for that one guy or baldie or medic who QC'ed your patient

[Martzin]

wow nice special nord character you got going on there
creative insults though, it reminds me of this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNd5sOZSkH4