A Xenomorph's Guide to being a Marine II

[Butterrobber202]

Alright fleshbag lets get right into it, this is how you should be playing a Marine.

Step 1: Your Pack

1. You spawn into a pack of 4 colors, this doesn’t fucking matter, you are the top dog. That dickhead with better equipment than you is just hiding behind his rank.
2, Don’t listen to the dickhead, you are obviously much smarter than him. Has he even seen your 6-pack?
3. If the Engineer is building something, move him. He needs to know his place and learn to respect your superiority
4. Going to a medic is for pussies, real men chew off their injuries.
5. Fuck the pack, you can do this on your own.

Step 2: Equipment and Interface

1. Armor is not important, it’s just slowing you down
2. You should always use throwing knives as your primary weapon.
3. If you fail step two, that’s alright, threaten the RO until he gives you a barrel charger. If he doesn’t he is a traitor to the cause. Execute him
4. If you arnt using AP at all times, you will lose
5. Make sure you use AP and aim for the head for maximum impact

Step 3: Combat

1. If you followed the above steps, you should be hunting xenos like a goddamn pro by now.
2. Make sure you are using burst fire at all times
3. NEVER go on the front lines, if you followed steps 4-5 in the equipment section, you should stay back and burst fire at random. It’s not your fault if you hit someone in the head with AP, they were in your way!
4. Always charge straight at Crushers, the weight of your balls will keep you grounded.
5. If it’s red then it’s weak, kill it with maximum firepower, with no regard for safety
6. If a fellow marine falls for any reason in combat, leave him. He is weak and undeserving of being a Marine.
7. Make sure you give false Infomation to your pack, this is important so you get all the glory.
8. If you get FF'd, a traitor is among you! Kill the nearest Marine, he is obviously a traitor.

Step 4: Everything else

1. MPs are tyrants and oppressors, kill then at all costs
2. The CO is a pussy ass neon haired bitch, never listen to her inferior judgement
3. Statis Bags are most effective when opened
4. Throw your flares as deep in enemy lines as possible, to prevent them from being useful.
5. If a Marine is stealing your glory, shoot him in the back and claim it was a misclick
6. If someone with a rank higher than yours is ordering you around, kill him. He is obviously impersonating the real Officer.

[4000daniel1]

pretty much

[Sargeantmuffinman]

Hmm, something doesn't feel right...

[Earraigh]

Combat: Step 3 not clear. How do you hit anyone with an AP if you're loaded with throwing knives?

[carlarc]

knives pierce armor, obviously

[spookydonut]

Good shit post, wrong forum

[DefinitelyAlone0309]

Press X to doubt

[Mister Jeether]

Instructions unclear, got promoted to headstaff.