What in the Warp?!

[DMAN]

Does warp dust smell like burnt metal or magical cocaine?

[Azmodan412]

Seeing as how we have psykers using it left and right, it must be magical cocaine. Just as planned, nehehehehe...

[LocatingGoku]

So which one of you was responsible for that event horizon thing?

[Azmodan412]

Me. Can't have mortals spying on my millennial chess game with Creed, now can I?

[LordLoko]

What happens if chaos meets tyranids?

What ahppens if chaos meets necrons?

What happens if necrons meets tyranids?

[Azmodan412]

Then my disciples offer their skulls to me.

That would be interesting to watch. Disciples of chaos versus living skeleton-machines. The Necrons would start to win, but plans often go awry.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

[Boltersam]

Do you ever see the Tyranid Hivemind in the warp? what's it look like?

And why the fuck does it even...exist? It'd have been killed off by something bigger, and meaner *looks at Khorne* at some point, in its original universe. (and where the hell does it get the ideas for some of the Tyranids? Was it envisioning Cthulu when creating Lictors?)

[Azmodan412]

I actually saw the Hivemind at the bi-millenial costume party. That was an... interesting occasion to say the least. Imagine a being made of millions upon millions of worms, but walks and talks like you. As to where it gets its ideas, only it can say...

Don't look at me. I'd have killed it and took its skull for my throne, but we warp deities don't really fight without cataclysmic consequences. Who would offer me blood and skulls if all the worms serving me died? Tzeentch... if you bring that up again, I will fucking roast you on my sword.

[Boltersam]

I actually saw the Hivemind at the bi-millenial costume party. That was an... interesting occasion to say the least. Imagine a being made of millions upon millions of worms, but walks and talks like you. As to where it gets its ideas, only it can say...

Don't look at me. I'd have killed it and took its skull for my throne, but we warp deities don't really fight without cataclysmic consequences. Who would offer me blood and skulls if all the worms serving me died? Tzeentch... if you bring that up again, I will fucking roast you on my sword.

Worms don't have bones, sorry Khorne.

And being made of millions and millions of worms...that sounds like that other race...the Slath? Sloth? can't remember. It's some neutral race that you can fight in Dark Heresy. Imagine a humanoid bundle of worms, dripping acid.

Another question, there are creatures that aren't controlled by any of you in the Immaterium, like Khymaeras, the ones made out of nightmares. How do these creatures deal with the billions of daemonic entities? I mean, they look daemonic, but they're not created from Gods, so no one governs them, and since the Immaterium is split up into your and minor gods' territories, where the hell do they live?

Khorne, Gork is the Ork god of warfare and face to face fighting, what are your thoughts on him? do you ever have sunday brawls?

I'm not going to ask what you think of Mork, considering he's the patron god of Kommandos, in essence, and sneaky attacks piss everyone off except for the sneaky gits that pull them off. *glares at group of laughing Kommandos prancing around a pile of corpses*

[Azmodan412]

Gork doesn't stand a chance against me. We may have Sunday brawls, but they end up with his face beneath my boot.

You wot, ya git?! I krump ya each time we brawl!

YOU WANT TO GO, GORK?!

*rubs his forehead with two fingers* The Khymaeras and their ilk... They know better than to intrude on our turf. Its sort of like a pact of nonaggression, they don't intrude, we don't wipe them from the face of the Warp.

[Ninjah!]

Dear Nurgle,

It recently came to my attention that my neighbour is quite loud. Would sacraficing my youngest born child to you make you willing to release a vile plague upon him?

Kind regards,
The Emperor

PS: How's your wife doing?

[Azmodan412]

Always willing *slurp* to bring my gift into the Materium. She's *sluuuuuurp* giving Slaaneesh a run for his/her money. *chortle*

[DMAN]

Khorne, do you like metal skulls at all or are the all-natural bone skulls the only ones worthy of the throne?

[Azmodan412]

All natural for my throne, the metal ones are melted down for more swords.

[Tristan63]

Guess thats why Berserkers are always crazy as fuck for blood, must be a combination of cocaine, iron, and heroin in one Bong combination

[Boltersam]

Guess thats why Berserkers are always crazy as fuck for blood, must be a combination of cocaine, iron, and heroin in one Bong combination

Could be that Khorne lets them have a tiny, miniscule amount of his permanent rage-like state.

Hey, it let's 'em ignore bullets, so I'm all for berserker meatshields!

[Azmodan412]

Why would you think I wouldn't give those worms bloodlust. More skulls for my throne!

[DMAN]

What do you prize the most in a warrior, this is a question for all of you chaos beings out there by the way?

[Azmodan412]

Unwavering loyalty and constant offerings of skulls.

I like the psykers who are most unafraid of dealing with me.

I take what *slurp* I can get.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Doll, I prize what the warrior can give me.

[DerpinMcDerpDerp]

Do the chaos gods like BDSM?

[Boltersam]

Tzeentch, why did you make your Daemons bad at melee?

Khorne, why do you have no Daemons wielding bows with Daemonfire-tipped arrows?

Nurgle, same question as Khorne.

Slaanesh doesn't have to answer any questions. please, you make every question sexual.

[Azmodan412]

Iffy.

Brute force is artless. My forte are the psykers.

Bows are for pussies.

How can my *slurp* servants spread my gifts *sluuuuurp* if they kill from range?

[Boltersam]

Iffy.

Brute force is artless. My forte are the psykers.

Bows are for pussies.

How can my *slurp* servants spread my gifts *sluuuuurp* if they kill from range?

Nurgle, how about you turn your disease into liquid form and tip your arrows with them?

Brute force isn't always that artless, have you thought about fencing?

Khorne....How about you have axe-throwing Daemons then? I didn't mean bows specifically.

[Azmodan412]

Liquid disease *slurp* is much more treatable.

The finest chainswordsman can't stand to a psyker.

Waste of good axes.

[Boltersam]

Weeeeeell, this might be a touchy subject, but Grey Knights use power swords that they power with their psychic energy, I mean, couldn't you do the same? Tzeentchian Greater Daemons wielding gigantic fencing swords, enchanted with purple Daemon-fire.

Khorne, you could make the axes never miss. give them a thirst for blood, so they always veer towards their target, or, if there's no target, they veer towards the wielder. The axe will not be satisfied until it tastes blood.

Nurgle, have you seen the Imperium? their citizens die from diseases every day, has anyone ever TRIED to cure one of your diseases? I mean, the Imperium is so steeped in noxious fumes and rusted metal, it needs to have health warnings plastered all over the banner.
EDIT: the only semblance of disease-curing people are the Apothecaries, and they're meant to do battlefield surgery, normally the enhanced Space marine immune system can deal with diseases.