Dto'Yeyin'thwei (Forest Brave Blood)

[Jay Burns]

Byond ID: Jay Burns

Marine Name (so we know who you are, if you play alien mostly, state that here):

Jay 'Scalpel' Burns

Name of the character you want whitelisted (The name your predator will use. This must match your in-game predator name):

Dto'Yeyin'thwei (Forest Brave Blood) Dto is the clan name

Are you familiar with the Predator Code Of Honor?:

Yes.

Character background (A very BRIEF description of your predator's background):

Early Years

like all Yajuta, Yeyin'thwei was born into the harsh hunting society of the Yajuta, he was not especially strong nor intelligent, but never backed down from a fight and was braver than most, he was born on a planet isolated in the vast void of space, it was a large tropical jungle planet with large branching trees that blocked most sunlight, this is where Yeyin'thwei learnt his hunting skills in his young tender adolescent years, he spent most of his time wrestling and training with the other young Yajuta on his planet, when he was mature and skilled enough, he sought out glory and honour doing whatever he could to get a worthy trophy to finally get him recognized as a true hunter and accepted into a clan.

Pre-First Hunt

The time was upon him, he was heading off for his first hunt, he boarded the hunting vessel, it was a metallic scout ship, as the young Yajutas glanced around they could see the glorious trophy room in which they will store their trophies, if they could get them that is, the ship travelled many miles to a Yajuta hunting planet which housed the most dangerous of game, the serpents, the ship was hovering above a dense Rainforest planet, a sea of lush greens and murky browns. When the ship had finally got to its destination, the soon to be bloodied Yajutas looked at each other one last time, they picked their weapons, Yeyin'thwei preferred melee over long range so he picked up the long combi-stick and war-glaive, marvelling at the sheer weight of it, they all simultaneously activated their relay beacons, teleporting to the green below.

First Hunt

The young unbloodied Yajuta was left in the middle of a sprawling jungle, the canopy towering above the young hunter, Yeyin'thwei glanced around, taking in his surroundings, the dense jungle underbrush gave him nostalgic memories of his adolescence, also it was covered with tiny non-hostile insects, almost like aphids, he turned on his masks biosensors, scanning the immediate area, in the far distance he could see a blood red hulking beast, it was massive, with great bloody claws and teeth that could tear him in half with ease, yeyin'thwei leapt into the canopy, he started to stalk his prey, leaping from branch to branch, slowly gaining distance on his target, when he was close, he did something reckless and stupid.... which also earned him his name, he threw himself at the beast, impaling it with his wrist blades, bright green blood sprayed from the beast, Yeyin'thwei jabbed at the neck of the hulking monstrosity, more acidic blood went spraying, melting patterns into the hunters mask, the acid flared, steam rising from the mask, leaving a crescent mark burned into it. As this happened the red monstrosity fell, acidic blood spraying from it's torn jugular, its life force slowly pumping onto the ground, the newly bloodied hunter raised his head and arched its back and flared its mandibles, it screamed with rage and primal anger......

Post-Hunt to present day

Once the young hunter finished gutting and skinning the corpse of the fallen monster, it set its relay beacon and got teleported back to the ship with the remains of his trophy, he saw the remnants of the hunting party, he noticed two members of the 5 missing, his surviving Yajuta bowed their heads for a moment, to their brethren that had fallen to the challenge of the hunt. Shortly thereafter his spoke to one of his world's elders, due to his bravery and the size of his trophy, he was given the name Yeyin'Thewi, Brave blood, while also being accepted into the Dto clan, shortly thereafter his elder told him he was being sent on a hunting trip, to win his new clan honour and respect, he was being transported to LV-624.


How do you intend to play your predator (as in, describe HOW you will act/play your predator. This will weigh HEAVILY and frequently breaking from this MAY result in removal)?

I would like to play my pred as a more stealthy hunter, I would like to wait and spectate until I find a suitable xeno to hunt or marine to duel, if someone initiates a duel marine or xeno, I won't back down or fall back, even if it means my death, this does not include a bunch of marines all firing on me, since that's just suicidal. In conclusion, I would like to be stealthy and pick worthy targets but also not back down from most fights.

Why should we whitelist you?

I think I should be whitelisted because as a pred I would try to increase others RP and enjoyment, not be an overpowered killing machine, I would hopefully try to make it fun for all parties involved.

Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason (we will check, and lies may result in immediate denial)?

Nope.

Are you currently banned from any other servers and if so, why?

VORE, me and Noah Kirchner got banned for griefing.

Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or disobey the Predator Code of Honor?

Yes.

[Skane10634]

Seems good to me, excellent backstory, +1.

[LordeKilly]

The application really wasn't that good. You've created something unoriginal, he, "Hunts stealthily but won't back down from a fight." There is nothing that sets you apart from other Predators, something that is a defining feature that Marine could say, "Oh, that's the one who prays after each kill." or "That's the one who refuses to eat meat!" If you want to play as a predator with no backstory or depth to it's character, you shouldn't be applying here.

Also you claim to enjoy roleplay and don't want to be an overpowered killing machine, yet your predator justifies that he won't ever back down from a fight, until he or the prey dies.

-1. Not up to par.

[Sad_Corn]

Jay, the history is fine, i really like it, but the same stealthy pred is already generic

I really like you, you're one of the best mods for me, and i like you IC

I'll keep neutral for now, but i really want to +1 you due your RP capabilites, don't let me down

[Sad_Corn]

Gah, changing to +1, noice history jay, plus a bump since everyone forgot about this app

[Feweh]

Further feedback required

[Sarah_U.]

A few points make me believe you're unfamiliar with common lore:
- You write it like your prey is a ravager, which is usually an hive guardian that will have extreme sensibility to its surroundings; Which would of required a more indepth description of how you could've gotten past its sences without being noticed.
- Even if the xenomorph he first killed was a runner, all xenomorph are extremely dangerous in close quarter for the simple fact you must end their life as soon as possible; Anything your predator would've killed would have been frantically swinging around, trying to slash and tailwhip him off to at the very least kill it in its dying moments.
- Relay beacons are mostly part of CM and CM only. Yautjas descend and raise from their hunting worlds through ships.

So yea, while this is clarified, the backstory was still alright, so to say it doesn't give me a -1 since those are knowledge to be kept in mind for the future.

What does actually swindle my vote a bit, is the fact you have a so-so activity and your way of hunting will be entirely generic.
I'd have liked to see you add flavour to that, bring more words to word it rather than saying that it'll be stealth assassination 101.
If you could've added some flavour, like trying to kill your prey with very few hits and maximum damage that would've been grand.

All in all, I'd give you the +1, but I am leaned to sit on neutral. My commentary is mostly to give you an head's up that I took extensive time to review this and that I've been checking over on you once in a while in-game to see if you were on-par.
If you make it, read some (non-canon) comics and review the movies/wikis for pred. AvP:Extinction (As I say too often) is a rich niche of information and nice know-how about how honor-crazed preds are.

[Feweh]

Further feedback required or this will be denied

[Boltersam]

Will post review when not busy.

[NescauComToddy]

Skane, Sarah and Lorde's pretty much said everything It had to be said. Jay has a great charisma and Is a good team-player. Still, you pretty much just passed the backstory on your app... As the 'other's' said, they way you will play does have some conflicts In It, including the RP and the 'Fight until death' hunt. The app Is not on the same 'LVL' as the approved ones.

About maturity, I think a moderator have the necessary amount to be included In the hunt but, you App lacks some pretty important things, you could basically say you didn't write anything In the way that you will play question, that Is the second most important thing In an App.


Your backstory Is Ok! You did some work there and we appreciate that. I will personally give you a +1 close to neutral because I trust you to as a mod and a predator, your app still lacking so I don't think I will change anything here. Good luck Jay.

[forwardslashN]

Aside from the things Sarahu pointed, the history is mostly fine on a descriptive level. It gives some idea on who the character is. The playstyle is fairly standard, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. I really like you as a player, but I'm going to sit on neutral pending more feedback.

[Heckenshutze]

Since your character thinks and acts as a standard predator hunter, I expect you to play as one, by saying this I mean actually go hunting the stronger party at the current round, no chit-chat and such. I'll give you the chance +1

[shyshadow]

I've seen you once or twice while playing, and I haven't really found anything negative or bad about you. The Backstory is well written, though it's not entirely original, which is fine, but I'd prefer something a bit more original, it's extremely common that I see in applications that the same goes /I kill big beasts only, piss off with anything else/ if I'm honest. I don't have the whitelist, so I doubt I have much of an opinion, but it's a rather normal pred, and everything is fine nothing really catches my attention that could be concerning. Though I'm not like full on supportive I'll give you the +1 because I'm not a pretentious nerd.

[Karmac]

+1 he's a competent man, it was a good read, and I'd like to see more preds that don't just murderbone.


leaning towards a -2 though because i had to correct a grammar problem for him after I pointed it out in Discord :^)

[Xurphorus]

+1 Jay is a solid CM player for both Xeno and Marines, his story is fine on a descriptive level and I would like to see how he would play as a predator.

[ShortTemperedLeprechaun]

I'll give him a +1. Jay is a competent player, and I feel trust worthy enough for the role. The story was a decent read, it gave some nice flavor to his history, but it wasn't one of the best I've read. Then again, I've no room to speak.

Either way, all in all, I think you can do it, and if you are whitelisted, I hope you stick to your idea, as hecken put earlier.

[Feweh]

Accepted