Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Contains the details about white-listed characters.
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Ghostdex
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Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by Ghostdex » 03 Sep 2017, 20:32

Byond ID: Ghostdex

Marine Name (so we know who you are; if you play alien mostly, state that here): John ‘Fixer’ Donable

Name of the character you want whitelisted (The name your predator will use. This must match your in-game predator name): Kjuhte-Teer

Are you familiar with the Predator Code Of Honor? Yes

Character background (An ADEQUATE description and story of your predators background):

Kjuhte was trained in a group of 20 other Yautja, never seeming to stick out too much for extreme skill or seeming to lack behind the others, he was on par with most of the other unblooded Yautja.

It was finally decided Kjuhte would go off on a hunt to take the trophy of a mighty serpent to become blooded. Kjuhte was dropped off with two other Yautja outside of a temple. He was armed with wrist blades, his mask, body mesh and his wrist computer. He was excited yet he remained calm on the outside, careful not to show his fellow young bloods while they entered the temple. Soon the three walked down separate paths.No longer in a group, Kjuhte activated the mask’s visor, roaming around the temple. Soon he came to an open spot, perhaps close to the middle, hearing a scuttling sound to the left, Kjuhte flicked his wrist blades out and turned to face whatever it was. At first he saw nothing, however looking up at a wall he saw the serpent moving rapidly, almost to him and then it pounced.

The serpent landed on Kjuhte with a ‘thud’, briefly pinning him to the ground before with a roar, Kjuthe snapped his wrist around, cutting into the serpents arm, almost severing it, which caused the serpent to move off Kjuthe. With another roar, Kjuthe charged at the wounded serpent.The serpent flung its tail around wildly trying to push him back and dissuade the attack. Kjuthe failed to fully dodge a tail swipe resulting in him being gashed in the chest with the tail, tearing a jagged line in his chest. He took this opportunity to quickly grab the serpent’s tail and swiftly use his wrist blades to sever the serpent's tail for the treachery, releasing the tail to fall to the ground, limp. Ducking down the avoid the spray of acid blood the serpent tried to throw at him, Kjuhte moved in closer to the mutilated serpent. The serpent growled at Kjuthe and that is when he took his opportunity to shove his wrist blades into the serpent's neck and sliced the head off of the serpent’s shoulders, killing it in one final swift motion.

Kjuhte, admired his fine trophy, well at least for a young blood. Then he looked over at his wrist blade. Kjuthe looked at the acidic blood slightly melting the blades and knew what must be done. He brings the back of the blade up to his forehead after removing his mask and moving the blood in a crescent shape, burning a scar of a half moon crescent into his forehead. With a swift calm move, Kjuthe bent down and grabbed his trophy up off the temple’s floor, he hoped the other members of his clan would be pleased with his trophy as he was. He was now a blooded Yautja, and proud of it.

Kjuthe pulled out a healing crystal, plunged the crystal into his thigh, which healed his chest wound into a now jagged scar along his chest. The now blooded Yautja set off to see how the other Yautja we’re doing with their hunt, to see if they failed it or if they were successful in taking down a serpent. Kjuthe walked along a hallway in the temple, clear of any serpents until he stopped at slumped figure against the wall. It was another member of the hunt, dead, slumped against the wall, massive gashes ran along the dead Yautja’s chest as well as a chunk of his head was missing. Kjuthe bent down to examine the dead hunter’s wrist computer, he activated the self destruct on it and mumbled something about ‘Paya’ before he got up and walked away. Walking around more he found a serpent missing it's head, proud that his fellow hunting partner was now a young blood such as him. Yet he also felt something else for the Yautja who had fallen in battle...

How do you intend to play your predator (as in, describe HOW you will act/play your predator)?: I would take my time to look over the hunting area, watching specific prey, to find the most worthy prey. When the worthy prey is found I would attempt to lure them away to duel them.

Why should we whitelist you? I believe that I am able to uphold the predator code of honor fully, while also adding my fair share of role play without messing with the round balance too much.

Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason (we will check, and lies may result in immediate denial)? In the last month, no.

Are you currently banned from any other servers and if so, why? Nope.

Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or disobey the Predator Code of Honor? Very much so.
Last edited by Ghostdex on 03 Sep 2017, 21:50, edited 1 time in total.

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Mook476
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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by Mook476 » 03 Sep 2017, 21:46

I've only had positive role play experiences with John "Fixer" Donable. I know that Donable is competent in a combat situation, and I have faith in him fulfilling the role of Predator. I like the story it's quite easy to read, and I especially love the amount of small details it's just something that catches my eye. I know Donable can fill out the role of Predator, and I know he can not only fill out the combat part but also the role play area of Predator. +1
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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by Boltersam » 04 Sep 2017, 11:59

I'll get to this at the weekend. Quick lookover, the story doesn't seem like it's going to be up to par, and the playstyle is rather basic and unimaginative.

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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by Kerek » 04 Sep 2017, 12:33

The story isn't the best, but I'm not the best writer, the playstyle is unique, but neither really is mine. I judge more on how the person plays their character. I've had some good Roleplay with him, hes a funny dude who likes emotes and chatters to fellow marines a lot.

I think you could do well with this role personally.
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Ghostdex
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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by Ghostdex » 04 Sep 2017, 16:47

Mook476 wrote:
03 Sep 2017, 21:46
snip
Thank you for the feedback.
Boltersam wrote:
04 Sep 2017, 11:59
snip
When you do get to it, I hope you do find it up to par and nonetheless, thank you for the upcoming feedback.
Kneez wrote:
04 Sep 2017, 12:33
snip
Your feedback is much appreciated, and I try to interact with people in game to have a good experience.

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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by Nightwolf901 » 06 Sep 2017, 04:16

Not a bad player, I've had my dig in with them before and they're not a bad RP'er. I still want his Cigar but overall its good. I like the story and nothing really to point out for playstyle. +1 from Pinko
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Renomaki
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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by Renomaki » 06 Sep 2017, 20:35

Mate, your "how will you play" is a bit concerning...

I know that it is hard to think up interesting playstyles, but it looks like you barely put much thought into it at all... Is all that you are gonna do just going to consist of you running around looking for dueling partners? That is a really, REALLY rough life for you if you ever became predator.

I myself rarely get into duels because most times, it isn't fitting to challenge someone to a duel. To offer a duel requires a fair bit of requisites to work, mostly that the target in question is willing to fight the duel in the first place. Most predators engage in the Hunt, which is, you know.. Hunting. They aren't duelist by nature.
Sometimes, bravery comes from the most unlikely sources.

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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by Ghostdex » 06 Sep 2017, 22:27

Renomaki wrote:
06 Sep 2017, 20:35
snip
Well, I planed on dueling a bit more than usual, however I do intend to hunt not just fully duel all round. I understand that I don't have that in my application, and that I cant edit the application to have that in it. But I do intend to hunt normally. Thank you for letting me know about your experience and the feedback.

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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by shyshadow » 06 Sep 2017, 23:44

ghostdex wrote:
06 Sep 2017, 22:27
Well, I planed on dueling a bit more than usual, however I do intend to hunt not just fully duel all round. I understand that I don't have that in my application, and that I cant edit the application to have that in it. But I do intend to hunt normally. Thank you for letting me know about your experience and the feedback.
I'm pretty sure he means that's like so uninspiring and unoriginal....
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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by Ghostdex » 06 Sep 2017, 23:56

shyshadow wrote:
06 Sep 2017, 23:44
I'm pretty sure he means that's like so uninspiring and unoriginal....
While it may not be the most original or inspiring thing ever, it is my own.
Edit: I would like to apologize to Reno if I replied with something that didn't reference what was commented.

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Renomaki
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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by Renomaki » 08 Sep 2017, 21:47

ghostdex wrote:
06 Sep 2017, 23:56
While it may not be the most original or inspiring thing ever, it is my own.
Edit: I would like to apologize to Reno if I replied with something that didn't reference what was commented.
Honestly, thinking up fresh playstyles is hard, since predators can only do so much.

It is just the lack of detail that is concerning. The way you worded it implies that all you'll do is find dueling partners. Nothing on what fighting style you prefer, personality, not even some of the most common stuff you see in most pred apps. Just you running around looking for someone to duel.

Duels are not something you can just do, it is quite an uncommon, sometimes rare even, event that happens if a predator finds a human he respects enough to offer to fight on even grounds. It is a great honor that few are able to partake in, let alone survive.

... Provided they want to duel in the first place, that is. Sometimes they outright refuse and gun you down on the spot. And don't get me started on what happens when a predator wins a duel against a marine while a crowd watches... Oh boy...
Sometimes, bravery comes from the most unlikely sources.

An inspirational song for when ye be feeling blue:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5_zvuPw8xU

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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by Boltersam » 09 Sep 2017, 03:39

There's not much to be said on the story. It's short, and I admit, rather bland. The descriptions, or adjectives, depending on how fancy you want to get with them, were rather clunky in the sense that while they do properly describe actions, there are better words, and more importantly, wording. You may be no essay writer, but the story overall gave me the feeling of being a bit rushed, as well as being a bit of a difficult read due to the poor use of adjectives. Lot of grammar and spelling mistakes throughout, as well.

Now, onto the actual story. It's centered around the Blooding hunt, or Proving, or trial, or whatever you want to call it. The ceremonial hunt where a Yautja kills their first Xeno. Unfortunately, you skip right into the hunt, voiding any character building. There wasn't much of any character made here, and I'd be hard pressed to remember anything significant about your character from the story. Your hunter descends to the planet, kills a Xeno, and leaves, is the long and short of it. The story really could've been improved on, and is rather low quality at this point in time.

There's not much to be said on the playstyle that Reno hasn't already said. Duels are meant to be rare things, and to grant the honour of one to a lesser species is even rarer.

The app overall feels rushed and low effort. -1.

EDIT: Since I forgot to mention this in the first run, I have seen that Donable is competent and willing to roleplay ingame, but while he's a good player, the app is low quality.
Last edited by Boltersam on 09 Sep 2017, 06:23, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by Enceri » 09 Sep 2017, 05:37

The story was small, but to the point to explain his background, and like Kneez stated we aren't all essay writers. Although the story may be kind've iffy, I do know Donable in-game and have had multiple roleplay experiences with him and can first-hand witness that he is a solid roleplayer. I think he can fit the predator spot, and yeah sure his play-style isn't unique, but it's hard to be more unique when being a predator isn't something new.

I'm dropping a +1 because I think he can fit it.

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Ghostdex
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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by Ghostdex » 09 Sep 2017, 06:30

Renomaki wrote:
08 Sep 2017, 21:47
snip
I can't do much for the lack of detail at this time, but I will keep it in mind, thank you for the criticism and information.
Boltersam wrote:
09 Sep 2017, 03:39
snip
Thank you for the feedback and criticism.
Enceri wrote:
09 Sep 2017, 05:37
snip
I appreciate your support and feedback.
John 'Fixer' Donable
Kara Walsh
Kjuhte-Teer
Part of the Yautja Council with SpartanBobby, Imperator_Titan, Sailor Dave and Symbiosis. Feel free to PM any of us with questions about Predator
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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by Steelpoint » 09 Sep 2017, 06:41

Forum activity is low so that's one strike. But you have no ban history so that's a plus.

In game I recall some good experiences with your Character, I can't attest if that means you'll make a good Predator but it means you are a good player.

The story does show a good command and understanding of Predator lore, which I find to be most important to demonstrate.

Your suggested play style is very bland and has very little explained, but in my opinion you really need to play a few rounds as a Predator to really appreciate how the role functions and meshes with the game, something you can't get from observing one.

I'm going to suggest a +1. While your lack of extensive forum activity and your underdeveloped playstyle are points of contention, however my recalled instances of your in game conduct, your clean record and you good understanding of Predator lore and an entertaining story show promise. In my non-professional opinion.
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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by Ghostdex » 09 Sep 2017, 14:27

Steelpoint wrote:
09 Sep 2017, 06:41
snippity snip
Thank you for the feedback, and as a note I am trying to up my forum activity.

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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by TheDonkified » 10 Sep 2017, 22:17

+1. I can recall some good RP experiences I've had with ghostdex's character. While some of the questions could have been answered a bit more extensively (like the How Will You Play section), I have faith that he can uphold the expectations and honor code of predaors.
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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by Ghostdex » 13 Sep 2017, 01:04

TheDonkified wrote:
10 Sep 2017, 22:17
snip
Thank you for the feedback and for having faith.
John 'Fixer' Donable
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Kjuhte-Teer
Part of the Yautja Council with SpartanBobby, Imperator_Titan, Sailor Dave and Symbiosis. Feel free to PM any of us with questions about Predator
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The story of Operative Delta: https://imgur.com/Go3VIhs https://imgur.com/4K8AqdA

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KEY
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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by KEY » 13 Sep 2017, 01:10

Looking over your app, +1.

The writing isn't the best, but not everyone is a brilliant writer.
Someone mentioned that you didn't have high forum activity, but you have 105 post. That means 105 different times you logged into these forums and had something to say.

That isn't low, it may not be super duper high---but that isn't low. I'm not sure why the standards for forum activity are so insane around here, but not everyone is constantly logging in and making little remarks about every little thing, so that shouldn't count against you.

Your story is alright, and I've watched you in-game here and there and you have a positive attitude and a drive towards roleplay, that's what should count in these types of applications. Not insane high numbers of post or chapter upon chapter of fluff.

+1
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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by Ghostdex » 13 Sep 2017, 03:55

KEY wrote:
13 Sep 2017, 01:10
Looking over your app, +1.

The writing isn't the best, but not everyone is a brilliant writer.
Someone mentioned that you didn't have high forum activity, but you have 105 post. That means 105 different times you logged into these forums and had something to say.

That isn't low, it may not be super duper high---but that isn't low. I'm not sure why the standards for forum activity are so insane around here, but not everyone is constantly logging in and making little remarks about every little thing, so that shouldn't count against you.

Your story is alright, and I've watched you in-game here and there and you have a positive attitude and a drive towards roleplay, that's what should count in these types of applications. Not insane high numbers of post or chapter upon chapter of fluff.

+1
I do log into the forums at least once every day to read whats going on, and I am attempting to post more often and Involve myself more with the community rather than just watching.

Roleplay is what makes CM fun for me so I strive to involve myself in it. Overall, thank you for the positive feedback.
John 'Fixer' Donable
Kara Walsh
Kjuhte-Teer
Part of the Yautja Council with SpartanBobby, Imperator_Titan, Sailor Dave and Symbiosis. Feel free to PM any of us with questions about Predator
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Something a bit funny: http://i.imgur.com/lKfpvwd.png
The story of Operative Delta: https://imgur.com/Go3VIhs https://imgur.com/4K8AqdA

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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by Kavlo » 13 Sep 2017, 15:07

I think they can do the role well. I've seen them a good bit in-game aswell as rping.

+1
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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by notasyndie » 13 Sep 2017, 23:34

John is solid at role play, follows the rules, and is robust. +1
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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by Ghostdex » 14 Sep 2017, 02:39

Kavlo wrote:
13 Sep 2017, 15:07
I think they can do the role well. I've seen them a good bit in-game aswell as rping.

+1
Your support is appreciated, thank you for it and the feedback.
notasyndie wrote:
13 Sep 2017, 23:34
John is solid at role play, follows the rules, and is robust. +1
Bah, I'm not that robust, but thank you for the support and feedback.
John 'Fixer' Donable
Kara Walsh
Kjuhte-Teer
Part of the Yautja Council with SpartanBobby, Imperator_Titan, Sailor Dave and Symbiosis. Feel free to PM any of us with questions about Predator
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Something a bit funny: http://i.imgur.com/lKfpvwd.png
The story of Operative Delta: https://imgur.com/Go3VIhs https://imgur.com/4K8AqdA

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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by Sarah_U. » 15 Sep 2017, 16:38

I personally felt like it had not a lot of originality and very little demarking points.
It's not that the app itself is trash or anything, it's just that it feels (As bolter stated) somewhat rushed and perhaps diminutive of what could be accomplished.

A thing I note, is that you must've watched certain movies and predator content, for you wouldn't know about the scar and certain things in your story without GENERAL KNOWLEDGE.

I'll stay neutral, advicing you take extra time to research further, doesn't hurt. You're a cool guy from what I recall about ya', so I don't really want to -1, if memory serves right.
Don't feel like I'm in a right spot to judge, but overall those are a few advices, amongst trying to up your activity ^^
CM was obviously inspired by Starcraft: Ghost opening. At least when marines takes too long to deploy.
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Re: Kjuhte Luar-ke (Void Moon)

Post by Nubs » 17 Sep 2017, 11:31

The biggest problem i have with this is the playstyle, from both a rp and a game mechanic perspective. Duels in game are RARE, and really should be. You will almost never get a xeno to fight you 1 on 1 without interference, and first of all finding, then dueling and skinning a worthy marine without being chased/murdered by the other marines is very difficult. From a rp perspective, preds are hunters, not swashbucklers.

Neutral for now.
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