Chiva Yin'tekai joins the Hunt

[edda]

Byond ID

Edda

Marine Name

Finnian Cottier

Name of the character you want whitelisted

Chiva Yin'tekai

Are you familiar with the Predator Code of Honor?

I am.

Character Background

► Show Spoiler

Between jagged, frozen peaks, in a snowswept valley, rests the Weyland-Yutani colony of Byblos on the Outer Rim world of Osiris. Like many such distant colonies, Byblos is entirely self-sufficient, its colonists tough and proud—and like many such colonies, it fell quickly to the xenomorph menace. Its last gasp for help, a distress signal, was sent out a few hours before the blizzard set in. Now its fate is all but sealed, with roving hordes of xenomorphs occupying Byblos' halls and chambers, and powerful icy winds ravaging the colony grounds. A small contingent of survivors have fortified a position in a panic room, hoping to hold out until rescue arrives.

The nearest USCM vessel which had picked up the signal, the USS Halcyon, was over three days away. Another vessel was instead the first to respond, the Setg'in Kjuhte, a yautja craft from a distant galaxy. It had deployed one elite, two blooded, and four young bloods, and at this very moment, Chiva Yin'tekai, one of the blooded, perches atop an icy precipice overlooking Byblos.

Chiva is apprentice to Adjudicator Ka'rik'na Yin'tekai. While adjudicator training consists mostly of lectures, he is still required to attend the Hunts, if only to become stronger, for he will eventually be expected to enforce the Code of Honor and hunt bad bloods, some of whom were once clan elites.

His breathing is steady, but he hears nothing except for the howling wind. The sheets of snow which fall at precipitous rates form a curtain blocking vision past more than a few dozen meters. A few colony floodlights still shine through the weather, guiding Chiva to his goal.

In his ear he hear's the elite, Vor'mekta Dai-shui, speak. "Kv'var-de, watch the pass entrance. Chiva, move around the back of the colony. I am bringing the young bloods through the front portals, and I wish for both of you to block the escape routes. Not one r'ka shall escape our Hunt."

In a burst of speed, Chiva drops from his perch and onto colony grounds. He dashes across the snow, a blurry streak, between snow-topped buildings with barely exposed metal walls, and in one powerful jump, clambers onto a roof. To a human, it would have looked supernatural.

Chiva pauses as he takes stock. The serpents will know he is here, and yet he does not feel their presence. It could be the snow playing havoc with his senses, but he is fairly certain this means they are distracted. "Vor'mekta," he says, "Have you already moved in?" There is a crackle of static and then a curt response in the negative.

It must be human colonists, somehow alive despite the degree of serpent infestation. One must applaud their tenacity; Chiva is aware that most such colonists are not warriors, so to have survived the serpents for this long is an achievement, a testament to their will. "I'm moving in," he says.

He drops from the roof towards the rear of the colony's outermost buildings, kicking up a flurry of powder snow as he lands heavily on the grounds. He strikes the door with his armored elbow, only to be surprised at the sturdy resistance the door gives. He quickly searches the building's surface and spots a control panel. Clearing it of snow, he cuts and pulses a series of wires with the practiced ease of one who has performed the same motions many times.

The door swings open with a loud creak. Almost immediately, a large black figure, a younger serpent, pounces from the hallway, its razor teeth bared and claws at ready. Chiva dodges laconically and the serpent's surprise swipe only manages to scrape his armor. The yautja draws his scimitar and cuts in one motion. Green, steaming blood splatters across the metal and snow, melting both in equal measure. The serpent screeches and dashes off beyond the veil of snowfall.

Chiva clicks his mandibles. He is bemused about prey running from him, but doubts the serpent would make it further than Kv'var-de. Entering the building with his scimitar at the ready, he begins his room-by-room sweep. Kitchens, bunks, storage, showers, lounges—all in disarray, their furniture torn and scattered across the ground. After a dozen minutes of searching, he comes upon a hallway. Black, gooey, alien weeds coat the walls, ceiling, and floor here like mold. He can hear screeches in the distance, discordant and many. Vor'mekta must have begun the assault with the young bloods already.

Strapped to nests by web-like strands of resin are several dozen humans, mangled and with gaping, gory holes in their chests. They are all clearly engineers, doctors, or scientists, without a single warrior among them. The serpents never cared for honor, nor distinguished between worthy and innocent prey. Chiva shakes his head in disgust.

Pattering and soft footsteps sound in the hallways. Two serpents stalk Chiva from the shadows and are waiting to pounce. The yautja merely stretches his shoulders, steps forward, and brandishes his scimitar. "Come. Let's not delay."
Two dead serpents and a bad cut later, Chiva steps into an empty meeting hall, blood oozing from his deep wound. There is a podium, arrayed in front of which are many tables and chairs, most overturned. Across the hall the yautja hears a screaming voice. Human.

Chiva activates his cloak, immediately vanishing from sight.

Quickly crossing the distance in a matter of seconds, Chiva comes to a stop at the podium. Around a corner he sees two humans, one clutching another fallen one, the latter who was suffering severe spasms and foaming at the mouth, eyes in shock from pain. With a sudden jerk, the spasming human's chest blows outwards, splattering the nearby vicinity with viscera. A serpent larva scurries from the resultant wound, fleeing under the tables and chairs of the hall.

The former human screams even louder as their partner goes limp.

Almost on cue, a mature serpent drops from unseen heights at the far end of the hall. It swivels its head at the remaining human, who stumbles back, reaching for a nonexistent weapon. The serpent charges.

As the serpent pounces, the yautja steps between it and its intended victim, deactivates his cloak, and swipes with his scimitar. The clean cleave, mixed with the serpent's momentum, lops off several steaming limbs. As the mangled creature attempts to drag itself to safety, Chiva steps close and ends the creature with a swipe to the head.

The human scrambles to their feet and flees to a back room.

A certain silence falls upon the hall as Chiva meditatively stands and watches its doorways for serpents attempting to flee the Hunt. A few minutes pass. Eventually, one of the doors open and Vor'mekta appears, completely uninjured but otherwise covered in grime.

"Elite," says Chiva, bowing his head.

"How was your Hunt?" asks Vor'mekta. "I have slain a dozen, and the young ones have killed half their number between them."

"Three. And I have this wound to show for it." He points to his cut. "Also, I should inform you that some oomans have survived the r'ka. They are in the back."

"Indeed?" As Vor'mekta speaks this, no fewer than eight humans appear from behind the podium, one of whom was the human Chiva rescued. Half of them carry rifles, which are held at the ready but not aimed at the two yautja. They whisper among themselves in frightened voices, their eyes darting between the two alien creatures.

Vor'mekta clicks his mandibles. "Four more worthy prey. Good practice for the young bloods. Shall I call them over?"

Chiva shakes his head. "The oomans held fast against a superior force of r'ka. They have won an honorable victory and earned their freedom."

"Spoken like a true adjudicator's apprentice," says Vor'mekta, shaking his head. "The oomans and r'ka—they are not yautja, they cannot understand us. Your mercy is wasted on them. But very well Chiva, we'll let them be."

Stepping away from the exit, Vor'mekta sardonically and exaggeratedly gestures at the door. Chiva too points at the door, beckoning at the humans. With any luck, the humans will understand.

And it seems that luck holds. The gaggle of colonists slowly advance across the hall, keeping a tight formation as they move between the two hulking yautja. Eventually, as they near the exit, there is sudden motion from under a table. The serpent larva from earlier appears from its hiding spot and scurries across the open floor.

Two of the humans with rifles move in panic and shoot at the larva. The staccato of gunfire fills the hall for a brief second, until the larva flops and dies in a pool of steaming gore.

Chiva flares his mandibles. "I see I was mistaken; these oomans have no honor, slaying a defenseless child. Elite, call the young bloods, we'll make worthy prey of the oomans yet."

How do you intend to play your predator?

Chiva Yin'tekai is unlike other yautja in that he takes neither pride nor trophies from his kills. In the course of the Hunt, he pursues worthy prey only as a means to better himself. As he is not bloodthirsty, he tends to show honorable opponents mercy. Perhaps as a result of his motives, he prefers quick, direct engagements and simple ambushes. Patient nonetheless, he is not brash, merely not the type to stalk or whittle down his opponents. He is certainly capable of waiting.

Chiva sees the Code of Honor as fundamental to all sentient creatures, and any violations thereof, whether by yautja or not, are to be swiftly punished. If it is indeed a yautja who violated the Code, the yautja is an ic'jit, or bad blood, who should have known better, and Chiva has no issues treating the bad blood as unworthy prey. If it is another species which violated the Code, Chiva will give them the benefit of doubt—they are, after all, less enlightened—and fight them as worthy prey, unless they should prove unworthy to the end.

For example, if a marine shoots a trapped larva, Chiva will make the marine a priority target. Vice versa, if a ravager chases a medic who is unable to fight, Chiva will make the ravager a priority target.

Chiva enjoys practicing engineering and medicine, and attends to both with a meditative spirit. He is friendly but terse, and enjoys discussing the Code and all its ramifications. His lifelong goal is to be strong enough one day to be named a clan adjudicator, so that he may enforce the Code and hunt down the bad bloods who have dishonored his clan.

Why should we whitelist you?

As a player, I have a lot of utility skills in engineering and medicine, and am competent enough at combat not to be an embarrassment. I am also familiar enough with CM to have a holistic view of the flow of a round, and can make accurate judgments about whether my actions will be a benefit or detriment to the round.

I think anyone who has played alongside Finnian Cottier knows he is not a shitter and can RP. I also DM games of D&D, so how much RP I put into a role is very much a deliberate judgment on my part, and I can go high-RP when appropriate.

The reason I want to be a whitelisted predator is because it is a different role, it is an antag role, but it is not a murderboning role—which is the reason I do not have my preferences for squad specialist set on high. Combat is fun, but I do not want to fight just anyone. It is better to have a role which is primarily preparation and observation, only occasionally punctuated by combat.

Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason?

No.

Are you currently banned from any other servers and if so, why?

No.

Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or disobey the Predator Code of Honor?

I do.

[z a n e b o t]

Good backstory, Competent CO ingame, good mentor. +1

[Karmac]

Alright let's dig in,
First, I'd like to address your playstyle, you've sugarcoated the basic "I'll observe, and then attack" to a degree that as such, I can say I don't care about it enough to complain about it.
Secondly, I'd like to ask how your story provides me an adequate description of your predator's personality or reasoning as to how he acts, as the only thing it shows me is an ability to cooperate with other yautja during the first half, and the latter half includes a few brief sentences pertaining to his own beliefs, i.e. the respect the colonists deserved for surviving so long vs killing the defenceless larva.

The backstory definitely evokes that sense of narrative you would provide as a DM in a D&D game, but that's not what I'm looking for here, I want to know more about your yautja and less about the planet he's landed on to kill some fools. When the first line I see in a predator's backstory is a description of some planet in the middle of bumble-fuck nowhere, I know you've not put enough thought into the application and the reason as to why you're expected to fill this out.
This is supposed to be proof that you can adequately role play as your given character and to a unique enough extent that you would add to the round, though all you've shown me is "you will be a predator", nothing actively unique.

I'm personally going to -1 this for the moment in the hopes you improve this.

[edda]

Hmm, thanks for the critique @Karmac, I just want to clarify something while I think about the rest, but your points are valid.

Chiva is not an "observe then attack" predator, as he hunts to improve himself and to enforce his Code upon non-yautja by punishing immediate transgressions, neither of which require too much observation. By 'observe' I should have clarified that I meant that he is not observing worthy prey, but the colony and flow of battle between the marine and xenos, and he is satisfied doing just that, as he is not particularly bloodthirsty.

I like to think that viewing the actions of xenos and marines both under the lens of the Code is unique, as typically most predators only view xenos and marines at either worthy, unworthy, or innocent prey, and have their own sliding scale of mercy. Chiva stands out in that he does not view them as prey, but as individuals on their own 'Hunt', despite not being yautja; moreover, that said individuals should adhere to the Code as well.

It is something like the distinction that others should not merely have the Code applied upon them, but to apply the Code themselves. I went for this idea because the Code is fundamentally asymmetrical: What a prey does to earn its unworthiess is dishonor enacted upon the hunting yautja. Whatever the prey may do to anyone else who is not yautja has no bearing on this. Chiva is one who interprets the Code to apply unilaterally to all, which is to say, he cares as well for what his prey does to non-yautja.

So in the first section of my background, I want to point out that:

1) Most predators walk past a xeno nest and see only the natural state of affairs, the strong who take the weak. All other creatures are inferior, so why should they interpret the xenos capturing colonists in terms of the Code? Chiva is unique because he explicitly determines that the xenos have captured innocent prey, and uses this motivation to push himself. He treats xenos not only as the prey in the Code, but also as the hunter. Because Chiva aspires to be an adjudicator, who punishes bad bloods, enforcing the Code like this is a proxy.

2) Chiva does not observe prey! This is important, he merely sees worthy prey and fights them directly. Indeed, he did not bother checking of an enemy was on the other side of the door. He engaged his stalking opponents directly upon sensing them. His only ambush was simple: A cloak and reveal, before the strike. He does, however, observe the colony and his surroundings. That is what I meant by patience and observation.

However, on your first point about the background being meaningless, it's interesting you bring it up because I actually ADDED that part, thinking I wanted to lead the reader into the scene. But my first thoughts mirror yours: it's unnecessary.

I will think further about how to distinguish Chiva. I hope I have answered your questions, and I would feel bad if I didn't since you went out of your way to make a wordy post!

[Karmac]

The clarification of the playstyle is un-necessary, the inclusion of placing other species under the lens of the code is exactly the sugar coating that made me not worry about that part. As for the observing and then killing part, I'll agree I misunderstood the observing, but I can't see 'checks the area and then rushes in there to get his hands dirty' as a big improvement, so I'll leave it at that, though this does make the backstory mesh better in my mind.

I'm glad you've taken my criticism and even pointed out things I hadn't correctly examined, I'll be changing my opinion to neutral.

[Avalanchee]

Edda is a great player,
The story is just perfect and i am looking foward to RP with you.

[Kavlo]

The backstory is well written but this is a case of overdoing it in a sense, you've put in a lot of description for things that really didn't need to have that much detail, it sounds nice to read but it really doesn't have to be that long.
I agree with Karmac in the sense of there is a lot of scene setting and not as much of predator description. For instance you mention in your predator intent to play section their goal is to be a clan adjudicator but you could've worked that into your backstory instead of adding it in intent to play.
Following up on Predator description your play style; Once again you've put in a good amount of detail but what it boils down to is "I'm going to play a basic predator but they don't take honor in their kills and trophies from kills" which in itself is a bit odd seeing as how the main reason predators go on hunts is to gain kills and trophies and you even mention how you only hunt to become a better hunter which in itself is gained by getting greater kills and trophies so why wouldn't you be gaining pride and honor from them?

TLDR; This application ain't bad but I think you need to fix up your backstory's pacing and effectiveness a bit aswell as perhaps changing or adding to your playstyle.
-1

EDIT : After good responses to both my posts and Karmac's posts I've changed for a +1 instead.

[edda]

Thanks for the critique @Kavlo! Also @Karmac, since I think this is relevant to both your concerns,

I wanted the story to show that Chiva, who does not particularly enjoy just hunting worthy prey as he takes no pride from the act in itself, engages prey for three reasons: 1) duty to his fellow predators, as he is following the orders of an elite, 2) self-defense, as the only xenos who he attacks in his backstory are those who attack him first, and 3) the prey has done something dishonorable, e.g. a xeno attacked an unarmed colonist, or a colonist attacks a xeno larva.

So how did I envision this to be different in actual play? Chiva fights only to get better, but he gets plenty of fights already from self-defense alone, or from targeting dishonorable xenos. So one important facet is that he tries to seek out worthy prey who have done something dishonorable. He has no interest in fighting your average worthy prey, and the whole part about him training to be stronger is just that, it is possible in a round that no worthy prey will have done something dishonorable, and I wanted to give Chiva a reason to still pick out a worthy prey to target because otherwise I would be bored to death as a player.

I really don't feel this is just sugarcoating an average predator play-style, because he will not be targeting the same kind of prey that other predators will. He is targeting a subset of worth prey who have committed specific (i.e. dishonorable) deeds during a round. Among other things, since he takes no pride from the Hunt, he will rarely engage in duels. Or stalk. Or use clever traps.

For Chiva, the Hunt is a proxy to become an adjudicator. I didn't want to spell this out - show not tell, as the saying goes - but I used the elite as a foil in the second half when the elite remarks on Chiva's reasoning as particularly adjudicator-like.

To address Kavlo's particular concern that Chiva has no reason not to be proud and seek trophies, I'd like to say that's the point! Recall I mention that as an aspiring adjudicator, Chiva will be expected to bring down former elite bad bloods. Then in the second scene I show what an actual elite is capable of - attaining 12 kills without a scratch, while Chiva only manages 3 with a bad wound. Again, the scene with the elite is purely for juxtaposition. For Chiva, becoming stronger is the ONLY way to achieve his goal of being an adjudicator. He has no actual interest in the mere fact of being stronger, but he needs to be stronger. The Hunt is like exercise for him. Who takes pride in exercise?

A final point is on the setting I wrote. I was leaning two ways, either to make a navel-gazing background or two write a pulpy-style take on what merely happens, but give enough details to allow the reader to piece together 1) how Chiva targets prey, which I really believe is unique and 2) how his aspirations to become an adjudicator effect the way he approaches a Hunt. The scene setting descriptions I used are harsh and detailed to try to make the style pulpy, which was a purely aesthetic choice, and I understand if you felt it was unnecessary. It seems rather unpopular, so maybe it was a mistake!

Thanks for the critiques. When I wrote the background, I had some concepts in mind and tried to write the background around them. It is good to clarify exactly what the concepts I wrote were.

[ghost120]

I mean... it's pretty cool story and all. But what other could you expect from good not so ol' Edda?

+1

[Karmac]

The point of duty is invalid, that's something you'd be expected to have as a predator within their society, and I can understand your pointing out the act of self-defence and personal judgement but it feels like you're not trying to write this as Chiva on his way to becoming an Adjudicator, but instead more that you're writing this as him *already being* an adjudicator based on how he interprets and reacts to situations, and that the title of Adjudicator is something that will simply be attached to him at some point down the road. I get that this may be intentional but it's just a bit jarring.

And while you point out that you go on Hunts in order to gain strength enough to defeat other predators, how do you think that would be possible if by default you are *limiting* your options during a round, compared to any other predator who would be much less picky/choosy about their targets. Logically speaking, this doesn't make much sense, even if it is something you've managed to incorporate well into your Predator.

[edda]

The point of duty is invalid, that's something you'd be expected to have as a predator within their society, and I can understand your pointing out the act of self-defence and personal judgement but it feels like you're not trying to write this as Chiva on his way to becoming an Adjudicator, but instead more that you're writing this as him *already being* an adjudicator based on how he interprets and reacts to situations, and that the title of Adjudicator is something that will simply be attached to him at some point down the road. I get that this may be intentional but it's just a bit jarring.

And while you point out that you go on Hunts in order to gain strength enough to defeat other predators, how do you think that would be possible if by default you are *limiting* your options during a round, compared to any other predator who would be much less picky/choosy about their targets. Logically speaking, this doesn't make much sense, even if it is something you've managed to incorporate well into your Predator.

I bring up the point of duty as one of the reasons why Chiva kills, not as his unique attribute. It is hardly invalid, but I think you mean to say it is unimportant. I'm not sure I understand your point about 'already being' an adjudicator. Imagine a police cadet who strongly believes in the ethics of the laws he enforces. Him applying the ethics to his daily life even before he gets his badge is hardly indicative that he is already a cop, and similarly, an apprentice to an adjudicator could hardly be blamed for trying to emulate what he believes is the correct way to adjudicate.

Also, I don't think your point about the limitations not making logical sense is quite valid. It is clear that even strong predators who enjoy killing the toughest challenges there are enjoy limiting their prey to only those which are dangerous enough to capture their interests. Clearly this kind of limitation makes the predator even stronger! My point is that limiting alone does not weaken a predator.

Moreover, limiting by honorable prey should have no effect on the toughness of the predator, since whether or not a prey is honorable should not correlate strongly with the strength of the prey.

[Lukey111]

Financial Cotter is extremely competent, but I think that not gathering trophies is not very honorable. You put a lot of effort in this. Like I've says, I don't think whitelists should be that hard.

1+ from me clown.

[Karmac]

Alright, I'll give in, you've explained yourself well enough, and I have no further criticisms, +1.

[Kavlo]

Alright, I'll give in, you've explained yourself well enough, and I have no further criticisms, +1.

Same here, I'm happy enough with the responses to both my own and Karmac's posts to change my -1 to a +1.

[edda]

A round of thanks for the +1s!

[NGGJamie]

Accepted

Normally I would not accept an application with such little support. However, my familiarity with Cottier's roleplay and the vibe I get reading through the application tells me that I won't have any problems whitelisting Edda.