Bhu'rath Dto-R'ka (Desert Wraith)

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SagaSword
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Bhu'rath Dto-R'ka (Desert Wraith)

Post by SagaSword » 29 Apr 2017, 15:43

Byond ID: Sagasword

Marine Name (so we know who you are, if you play alien mostly, state that here):Saga 'Chopper' Madrik

Name of the character you want whitelisted (The name your predator will use. This must match your in-game predator name): Bhu'rath Dto-R'ka

Are you familiar with the Predator Code Of Honor?
Yes.

Character background (A very BRIEF description of your predators background):
I am really sorry if the story is a bit long, i tried to make it as brief as possible and as much understandable as possible.
► Show Spoiler
How do you intend to play your predator (as in, describe HOW you will act/play your predator. This will weigh HEAVILY and frequently breaking from this MAY result in removal)?
My Predator, as stated in his background, doesn't have any knowledge of the new technology advancements the predators have reached. He doesn't even know the existence of Xenomorphs because there weren't any Space ships back then. So i'd Stalk, kidnap lone marines and Xenomorphs. Experiment on them in different situations like putting the kidnapped marine with a runner in a chamber and see who wins, and compare results and find the best way to win against both sides. I'd sneak to the Sulaco and find out how marines work and interact with them in special ways, maybe grab a gun and leave, examine the researcher's work and overall, learning more about the different species that i'm hunting. It will be a very rich RP gamestyle and fighting won't happen without a background to it.

Why should we whitelist you?
I have been a part of the community for a very long time, despite being a general shitler at first. It was of course because i was a kid, now i feel I've become more mature and my manners talk for me. I love the AVP lore and i read some of it's comics in my spare time, and love this game deep down my heart since the first time i played it and i hope to leave my mark on the community by making the game fun and more enjoyable, and i feel that i can make a lot of scenarios to pump up the fun of the round when i be whitelisted as a Predator.

Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason (we will check, and lies may result in immediate denial)?
I think Not.

Are you currently banned from any other servers and if so, why?
Paradise Station, it was way back when i was a kid due to setting some people on fire.

Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or disobey the Predator Code of Honor?
Yes.
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SagaSword
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Re: Bhu'rath Dto-R'ka (Desert Wraith)

Post by SagaSword » 29 Apr 2017, 17:28

Now that i read my article again, I realised some grammer error in typing. I hope you let it slip by, i was so anxious to write a good atory i forgot to check on my grammer. Heh :P
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Boltersam
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Re: Bhu'rath Dto-R'ka (Desert Wraith)

Post by Boltersam » 29 Apr 2017, 18:26

Will post review later.

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Re: Bhu'rath Dto-R'ka (Desert Wraith)

Post by Boltersam » 30 Apr 2017, 03:47

Okay, I had to read over the story twice to understand the narrative, and that is NOT a good thing. It's just painful to read through, and when you finally do figure it out, it has a couple massive gaping plotholes, and a lot of grammar mistakes. First and foremost, the time when there were no spaceships, and no Xenos, among the Yautja, is a time that even Predators die of old age from living to the present day. It's impossible to be that ancient and still survive. After that, you get the lovely snowflake, and I do mean snowflake, part of the story, where the ADJUDICATOR can be subdued by FOUR predators, and KIDNAPPED, while the main character with his steel, glistening muscles, can defeat all of these supposedly Elite, master assassins, who are capable of subduing an Adjudicator, the Predators around him, and then successfully kidnapping him without anyone noticing.

As you might be able to tell, I don't like it.

And now the playstyle.
You want to experiment with Marines and Xenos in order to find their weaknesses, so you put them in a cage match where the Xeno immediately has the upper hand constantly, sneak on the Sulaco, and steal things.

As far as I deduce, it involves very little actual hunting that the Predators are based around, it completely ignores the fact that because your Yautja somehow survives to present day, he would have had thousands upon thousands of years to conduct the same experiments. And sneaking on the Sulaco? A deathwish.

I don't like the app, I think it was hastily made and misses the mark on a few key points. -1.

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SagaSword
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Re: Bhu'rath Dto-R'ka (Desert Wraith)

Post by SagaSword » 30 Apr 2017, 08:02

Actaully, i didn't say that these 4 yautjas were master assassins or anything. Probably the plotholes where i mentioned how he was kidnapped happens, or when did my predator setup the trap for the yautja. But it should be a little bit obvious.
Besides i didn't also say that the yautja was born right after the clan was punished, he still has a lot of time to hear about the species he is going to hunt from other yautjas and learn the new technologies too. You maybe right i missed some points, if i don't get accepted i will learn from what you have told me about. Thank you anyway.
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Feweh
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Re: Bhu'rath Dto-R'ka (Desert Wraith)

Post by Feweh » 09 May 2017, 15:37

Further feedback required

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Re: Bhu'rath Dto-R'ka (Desert Wraith)

Post by Feweh » 16 May 2017, 12:40

Denied

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