Setg'in Yin'tekai (Deadly Honor) - App

[driecg36]

Byond ID:

driecg36

Marine Name (so we know who you are, if you play alien mostly, state that here):

Pierre 'Jackass' Martin

Name of the character you want whitelisted (The name your predator will use. This must match your in-game predator name):

Setg'in Yin'tekai (Deadly Honor)

Are you familiar with the Predator Code Of Honor?

Yes

Character background (A very BRIEF description of your predators background):

Setg'in Yin'tekai seethed at them. Vile scavengers, who were so repulsive the Yautja did not deign them with a name. He watched as they feasted on a dead animal they had not felled, imagining himself ending their pathe-

*Thump*

"What are you doing? If we do not hurry, we will lose our quarry", growled the unblooded that was accompanying Setg'in. He regained his focus, the scavengers were not his target. No, indeed, for his first hunt, the clan elders had chosen a mighty serpent, and tasked the 2 young unblooded to bring back it's head. This hunt was someone unorthodox, but both of the unblooded had volunteered, and the elders were not keen on sending 2 pupils to their deaths. And so, they hunted together.

Naturally, the unblooded were not pleased with this resolution, particularly Setg'in. They all though, somewhat arrogantly, that they could easily take on the serpent by themselves. Setg'in, in his reckless nature, decided that he would go above and beyond his expectations.

After having set camp in their lodge, Setg'in awaited for his partner to fall asleep, and set off on his own to find his prey. Setg'in did not have to travel very far, until he saw the serpent itself clawing apart a much larger beast. Respecting the might of his prey, he awaited for the serpent to slaughter it's prey. Once the deed was done, Setg'in announced his presence with the mightiest roar he could summon, and stepped out into the clearing to combat his prey.

The serpent wasted no time, and the two leaped into fierce combat. Setg'in could barely hold his own against such a strong prey, but he refused to give in regardless, and fought with all his might, injuring the serpent as much as it injured him.

However, before the fight could reach it's conclusion, the two hunters were interrupted; a pack of vile scavengers had smelled the blood of the serpent's prey, and saw not just an easy meal, but three.

Unable to wait for the resolution of the fight, the voracious scum jumped into the fray, and began attacking predator and serpent alike. This drove Setg'in into a fury, and he postponed his fight with the serpent to slaughter all the scavengers. In a spontaneous, subconscious truce, the two mighty hunters slaughtered the entire pack of scavengers to the last.

Both exhausted and both wounded, the hunters resumed their combat. However, the serpent had been more wounded by the scavengers than the predator had been, and this tipped the scales just enough in his favor.

Setg'in returned home with his trophy, and was made into a blooded predator for his successful hunt, and now looks for more prey to hunt.

How do you intend to play your predator (as in, describe HOW you will act/play your predator. This will weigh HEAVILY and frequently breaking from this MAY result in removal)?

I intend to be a very cocky, but honorable, predator. I would identify worthy prey, then try to get them on equal ground to fight me. If said fight was interrupted, or I saw behavior Setg'in would find unacceptable (such as marines killing SSD aliens, or aliens killing wounded marines), I would go into a rage (uncloak, *roar, and then charge at them with a melee weapon) and interrupt it. I would try to not rely too much on ranged weapons/cunning ruses, and more so just brute force my way through problems, even biting on more than I can chew at times. I would also pretty much never secure kills or actively murderbone someone unless they were my prey, letting them live (albeit wounded enough that they don't bother me any more) and continue the round, unless they do something very egregious/assault my hunting lodge.

Why should we whitelist you?

I've been a part of the community for a decent amount of time, though not as much as many, and I think I meet the standard of RP for Predator. I always try to RP the best I can, and am always looking for new situations and events to RP in. I think most know that I would not abuse predator abilities or actively try to ruin the round for others, and that I can definitely control my "bloodlust." I think my ability to enhance the rounds of others through RP, whether passive or direct, is also more than good enough for predator.

Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason (we will check, and lies may result in immediate denial)? Nope.

Are you currently banned from any other servers and if so, why? None

Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or disobey the Predator Code of Honor? Yes.

[jusa297]

Me likey. Me likey a lot. Identifiable "triggers" for marines to see is always good, because that way we can distinguish it's you. I find it kind of weird that they allowed an Unblooded to go hunting, much more that they succeded as they don't have access to the acid resisting equipment. There was also really no reason on why the Elders would do this, but clan to clan diffrences are really big and we can say it's a clan's thing. Anyways, you're not a shitter and i want to see more preds, so +1.

[johners12345]

+1, not so sure about the unblooded thing, but it was a good read and you are obviously not a shitter

[Helgraf]

Here you can see a happy predator app. However, little did the denizens of this app know that a threat greater than anything before would soon arrive. It's name? Boltersam.

[driecg36]

Here you can see a happy predator app. However, little did the denizens of this app know that a threat greater than anything before would soon arrive. It's name? Boltersam.

If bolter wants to roast my app, so be it. He knows what he's talking about when it comes to predators, and any feedback he can give will be constructive.

[Boltersam]

It's

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Really though, reading this application was painful. The constant spacing, the lack of defining boundaries via colouring, makes it all one giant wall of I don't want to fucking read this.
Also a LOT grammar mistakes, though I don't recall seeing much problem with spelling. (Fucking it's.)

Start on the story

We start at your character getting pissed at some random scavengers instead of continuing on his probably UBER IMPORTANT HUNT THAT HE SHOULD FOCUS ON TO BECOME BLOODED, THE MOST IMPORTANT HUNT OF HIS LIFETIME.

He then decides to head off while his partner (Predators generally hunt alone, ESPECIALLY during hunts when they're supposed to prove themselves. It would make a lot more sense if the elders were making them compete.) sleeps. He then tracks down the Xeno and waits until it's done eating to duke it out, but surprise surprise, after they're both wounded, a bunch've scavengers (Probably the ones from earlier, too.) show up to the party and-Wait, they think they have THREE easy meals? Who the fuck even wants to TRY eating a Xeno? And why would they think they can take on a Yautja, which if this planet is being used, they must recognise as the predators that hunt many dangerous species? At best, they should be avoiding the fight and gorging themselves while the two predators are busy fighting. (Predators as in the type of animal, not Yautja.)

Then your Yautja enters BERSERKER RAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE as the scavengers try to finish off both the Xeno and the Yautja (They do have SOME sort of survival instinct, don't they?), takes on the scavengers far more easily than the Xeno (It has fucking acid blood, why would the scavengers even try fighting it?) and then, goes back on everything he feels about scavengers, and finishes off the Xeno, taking a trophy.

Okay, so, your predator fucking HATES scavengers. Can't stand them at all. But is that his only personality trait? You've told us nothing about your predator itself, and a rather short and shitty story.

Now onto your playstyle.

You basically intend to kill anyone who's dishonorable. This REQUIRES that you end up murderboning anybody you see doing this, which they're SUPPOSED to do, and SHOULD be doing (Xenos killing wounded especially), and you also intend to not use ranged weapons at all, which is impossible, as you'll be forced to use them during your playtime. The rest talks about you using brute force, etc. And sparing people who aren't your prey, which your first part of the playstyle conflicts with.

I haven't seen you on the server much, for some reason, and that can be due to timezones, but due to this I have no idea what your level of roleplay is.

This app doesn't meet the cut, and the player hasn't proved himself in my eyes. -1.

[jusa297]

~snip~

Tl;Dr Glistening muscles.

[Biolock]

Make sure when you're creating an app, you get the permission of the clan creator to use the same title. I am the meta founder of Setg'in for example . I don't really care, but I'll read yer app later.

[driecg36]

Make sure when you're creating an app, you get the permission of the clan creator to use the same title. I am the meta founder of Setg'in for example . I don't really care, but I'll read yer app later.

I was unaware that the first name of predators referred to their clan, and I cannot find that info on xenopedia. If you could link me that, I would appreciate it very much.

-Snip-

Aside from a single misuse of it's/its, which also triggers me and which I apologize for, I didn't see any particularly egregious grammar mistakes, but I did write this at 2 AM and English is my second language, so I very likely missed some.

For the story, the complaints you make are valid. There are some things I didn't think through, and quite a few inconsistencies. I would rework the story if I could, but I'm afraid I can't at this point. Honestly, replacing the xeno with another, random type of animal would've worked much better, perhaps a Quatza-Rij (this page is also where I got the impression that young predators hunted together, as well as a few others that made the same claim http://avp.wikia.com/wiki/Quatza-Rij). I also tried to make the story more brief, just like it says in the app guidelines, rather than drone on and on about his youth, which I don't think is either interesting to read or pertains to application in a meaningful way. Instead, I opted to give a short "shitty" story that would act as a sample of how my predator would behave.

For the playstyle, I think you misunderstood me severely. I specifically said I WOULD NOT murderbone anyone but my prey, even those I found dishonorable, but merely scare them away or injure them enough that they flee, and most certainly not pursue them or attack them on the ground. This would create RP on both sides, making the predator a more interesting figure rather than just "makes scary noises from the dark" (which is what a lot of current predators do in my experience), but an entity that actually partcipates Also, "I would try not to rely on" =/= "not used ranged weapons at all." You accuse me of using a lot of absolutes, which is simply wrong.

It most likely is due to timezones that we haven't seen each other, but you can ask anyone else that knows me that I am dedicated to RP, and I think it's unfair to assume I am a bad RP-er simply because of timezones.

[Karmac]

Bolts is being a bit overzealous and he's recently gone full grammar nazi apparently, but his points in regards to the scavenger situation still stand pretty well, but because I've seen you play and you've clearly put effort into this I can't really -1 it, so I'll just stick to being neutral.

[driecg36]

Bolts is being a bit overzealous and he's recently gone full grammar nazi apparently, but his points in regards to the scavenger situation still stand pretty well, but because I've seen you play and you've clearly put effort into this I can't really -1 it, so I'll just stick to being neutral.

Honestly, the app was way lower quality than it should've been, I wrote it impulsively in one sitting at 3 AM.

If I could rewrite the whole story, I would.

[shyshadow]

Honestly, the app was way lower quality than it should've been, I wrote it impulsively in one sitting at 3 AM.

If I could rewrite the whole story, I would.

Why the fuck did you go on doing that?!
Anyway, I'm not entirely sure how to go about this. The application itself is rather bland, the playstyle is interesting. However there are millions of predators in the universe maybe even more, and only about 1/4 of those make it through the trial. Your backstory isn't that distinguishable and is quite bland, now while I won't be giving you any slack because you did it at 3am, that's your own fault. This application isn't the greatest, it lacks character and memorable features. I don't "really" like giving -1s but considering I've got about half a clue about who you actually are I can't really give any support in regards to "that". I'm going to -1 sorry.
Also to add, being a predator requires to decision making. Deciding to write this app at 3am isn't a good decision.

[SagaSword]

Boy, oh boy, oh boy. Who do we have 'ere? Apop's third favorite moderator with half assed grammar (WHY DOES THE GRAMMAR HURT SO BAD?)
I really don't know you in game very much and I haven't seen you RP either. I don't try to judge people because their grammar because not all people are good at English (Including me) but DAMN, the story was half baked man. You shoulda put more thought into it. I will go with neutral for now.

[Feweh]

more feedback required

[Feweh]

This is denied, not enough feedback and application is sub-par.