Than-Guan H’dlak

[Rikman]

Story wasn’t bad but it wasn’t great, it also shows decent understanding of yautja. Pretty good attitude and you seem like a decent lad, your earlier response to my question was good but keep in mind if two predators hunt the same prey it’s a joint hunt and must be agreed on by both.

Leaving a +1 here, good luck.

the only issue is have is with your nickname, it hurts

WAIT WHATS WRONG WITH THE NAME?!?

[Karmac]

The story is lackluster, the first part tells me nothing of your predator other than that he's an idiot if he couldn't figure out his elders had him spending his youth training to be a hunter, the second part tells me nothing at all and focuses more on background information as well as combat. Your playstyle is pretty much what I expect and I have no idea who you are but that's probably a plus. Going with neutral, it's not bad, but it's by no means great.

[Dirty Old Harry]

I remember you for one round in particular that makes me unsure if you deserve the approval or not.

Round i'm talking about was on Big Red, I believe we were pushing into a cave system to the south of the kitchen/canteen and you had been shot in the chest, fifteen brute damage was all it was but when I was a medic and was trying desperately to defib a dead marine, you stood over me, shouting at me for treatment then you started wailing on me and calling me useless. Moments later, you caught two or three Praetorian acid spatters and fell into crit. Luckily for you, (Unluckily for me) I dragged you out, drugged you up and then defibbed you behind the barricades but even then, as you were hyped up on Tramadol, Inaprovaline and Kelotane, you still shouted at me for treatment, even going as far as disarming and pushing me as I was seeing to someone else. After that, you wandered off and I didn't bother to watch you anymore.

Needless to say, this behavior was pretty disappointing and I predict you may act in a similar fashion some round as Pred if you do get whitelisted so...

Going to stay neutral, given that the app isn't bad, could be better but it could be worse so instead i'll see what you have to say about this then deliver my verdict.

[Rikman]

I remember you for one round in particular that makes me unsure if you deserve the approval or not.

Round i'm talking about was on Big Red, I believe we were pushing into a cave system to the south of the kitchen/canteen and you had been shot in the chest, fifteen brute damage was all it was but when I was a medic and was trying desperately to defib a dead marine, you stood over me, shouting at me for treatment then you started wailing on me and calling me useless. Moments later, you caught two or three Praetorian acid spatters and fell into crit. Luckily for you, (Unluckily for me) I dragged you out, drugged you up and then defibbed you behind the barricades but even then, as you were hyped up on Tramadol, Inaprovaline and Kelotane, you still shouted at me for treatment, even going as far as disarming and pushing me as I was seeing to someone else. After that, you wandered off and I didn't bother to watch you anymore.

Sorry about sounding like an asshole for the medic thing, I was yelling at an Alpha medic who now, I assume, was AFK. I admit, I did not see you defibbing someone but once I did I ignored you and started yelling at the Alpha medic.

I was fed up from dying almost every single round by a medic so I got a little anxious as I wanted to keep playing, and you did start running away from me as we ran from the caves, and I was being mauled by a Prae only 8ish tiles away from me.

About me yelling for treatment, I was in constant red/crit so I got panicky and tried to get your attention by yelling and disarming you.

All in all, I was completely unaware at my medical state, and my screen was going white as I kept walking around. This made me panic, as I have died next to medics way too much, and thus, I was in a state of heatedness to get a medic to help me.

[Rikman]

The story is lackluster, the first part tells me nothing of your predator other than that he's an idiot if he couldn't figure out his elders had him spending his youth training to be a hunter, the second part tells me nothing at all and focuses more on background information as well as combat. Your playstyle is pretty much what I expect and I have no idea who you are but that's probably a plus. Going with neutral, it's not bad, but it's by no means great.

Ok.

As I have pointed out before, I will definitely expand on my backstory way more if this is denied. If this is accepted, I would most likely add my characters’ blooding story in the topic.

[Karmac]

In-game you are always a youngblood so there's no point in you making a story about how you become blooded.

[Rikman]

In-game you are always a youngblood so there's no point in you making a story about how you become blooded.

Ok, makes sense.

I’d just like to make some sort of expansion on Than so he is not as empty

[NGGJamie]

I've been sitting on the fence about this for a while now, and ultimately the conclusion that I've come to is to deny this application.

In terms of improvements, there are a number of things that could be changed in the biography which would make a future application as a whole better.

A. You point out at the beginning that the Elders seemed to have chosen him for some particular reason, this wasn't followed up on and no reason was given for it other than your character being the protagonist.
B. Your predator "[sees] no honor in [his brothers and sisters]," in Yautja culture this would be a pretty severe insult considering the expectations put on a member who loses their honor.
C. Although Karmac brings up there being "no point" regarding making a story about how he became blooded, there is nothing wrong with this. However, his entire story about becoming blooded was somewhat hand-waved away in 3 sentences. Hand-waving such a major hunt, then going on to talk about a relatively lesser important hunt feels strange. I would elaborate on the hunt where he became blooded, or remove the line altogether and just start the story with him being blooded. By doing things as they are, it makes the reader feel like they missed out on something.
D. “We got nothing, Eagle-1, this planet is full of wildlife, and grass. That’s all of it, can we go back now for gods sake?” Than jolted at the first sounds and hid in the grass, hoping the oomans couldn't see him and blow his cover. The lack of speech tag showing who is speaking here is jaunting. On a first read, it makes it seem like your Predator is saying this. Add a speech tag, then elaborate in a new sentence what your Predator is doing so that the subjects don't get mixed up. You could otherwise say "One of the humans said, with Than jolting at the sound to hid in the grass."
E. "He found an honorable trophy, it was ordering the lower lifeforms around, and I decided to take that one as a trophy." Momentary change in perspective from third to first person. I'd suggest proofreading your story out loud.
F. At the end of the story, Than shoots a generator with a disc launcher and takes out one of the human leaders after the rest all went inside from what I could tell in the story. Was he just left out there alone in an operational area? Why didn't anyone else do anything about him being attacked? Were they all inside? This last part isn't given much elaboration and quickly becomes very confusing.

I don't think the overall idea of the storyline is bad, but with better execution it could be taken to different levels. I would recommend having beta readers look over your story before posting an official application, which would help immensely in catching problems like the ones I've laid out above. Don't forget to read out loud, it will help you catch a number of problems on its own!