pwnt2j-Th'syra

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kamenkuro
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pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by kamenkuro » 18 Apr 2018, 11:20

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pwnt2j - I made this account before I changed internet handles

Marine Name (so we know who you are; if you play alien mostly, state that here):

Jack Leslie

Name of the character you want whitelisted (The name your predator will use. This must match your in-game predator name):

Th'syra

Are you familiar with the Predator Code Of Honor?

I've looked over it a number of times

Character background (An ADEQUATE description and story of your predators background):

Known throughout a number of clans as a helpful and mindful hunter. He was once considered nothing of note. His kills were never more than was necessary or particularly underwhelming. His hunts followed the code to the letter. He found himself a very able mentor for the young. On a whim he found himself assisting another clan in a ritual hunt. This proved to be folly. Upon his return he found the entirety of his clan had been wiped out by the same clan he had just been hunting with. His life had been spared for the sake of another hunter that he was close to. Distraught at the loss of his clan he secluded himself.

When his name was naught but a fading memory he appeared once again. He saved a young blood from a band of bad bloods. Whispers of his deed carried itself far. Cloaked in secrets few trusted this stranger. Those that bore his company were happy to learn of his knowledge and experience that he had gained hunting in distant stars. He had become careful, and methodical. His hunts were slower, but the game was larger, more brutal. His risks were calculated, and his rewards were many. He made many connections through various clans, coming to be known an extra hand they could rely on.

The members of the clan that betrayed him? They collapsed under their on hubris. Their warmongering saw them brought low.

How do you intend to play your predator (as in, describe HOW you will act/play your predator)?

When I know the ins and outs of the controls, weapons, etc. I plan to roam, find a target, and hunt them down. Very actively looking for trophies. Quick to engage anything that comes my way. Definitely want to play it up and have a sort of deadzone where there are dead bodies and flayed flesh everywhere. Play it like the first movie. Stalking prey and tearing things apart. Going to do things to scare xenos and marines alike. But not a fear of unknowing, a fear for their life. An actual threat.

Why should we whitelist you?

I've been playing since way back. I know how the game works pretty well and I'd definitely pick up Predator pretty quickly. I can definitely make things more interesting. Not gonna be the type of predator that sits on the sidelines and barely does anything. I get really into the game, most of the time dying early on trying to save someone. I'd definitely do well being able to roar and be a generally terrifying presence.

Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason (we will check, and lies may result in immediate denial)?

No? No.

Are you currently banned from any other servers and if so, why?

Not that I recall, there are a lot of servers and a long time playing.

Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or disobey the Predator Code of Honor?

Yeah

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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by Rikman » 18 Apr 2018, 11:24

You have 5 posts, but over a year of forum age.

The backstory is way too short.

No idea who you are.

Playstyles change, but it seems bland, and overused.

Gonna have to go with a -1.

I might change this if you convince me enough
“Here is the wild Homo Sapien hunting its prey. The humanoids are pack hunters, using their shoddy armor as a pitiful defense against the towering Insecta. The human is quickly downed by the Insecta’s powerful slash. But, sheer numbers of humanoids rampage the abuser and Insecta is eventually burned to death, beaten, and dismembered.”
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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by kamenkuro » 18 Apr 2018, 11:36

Rikman wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 11:24
You have 5 posts, but over a year of forum age.
I play other games and have friends I talk with, I don't spend a lot of my time on forums.
Rikman wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 11:24
The backstory is way too short.
Not a writer, can't write 5 pages, but it has all the necessary information. You wrote like one paragraph more than me.
Rikman wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 11:24
No idea who you are.
So? I have no idea who you are
Rikman wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 11:24
Playstyles change, but it seems bland, and overused.
Really? There are barely any predators doing anything.
Rikman wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 11:24
Gonna have to go with a -1.
Why are you here?

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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by Rikman » 18 Apr 2018, 11:46

kamenkuro wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 11:36
I play other games and have friends I talk with, I don't spend a lot of my time on forums.
Ok...
kamenkuro wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 11:36
Not a writer, can't write 5 pages, but it has all the necessary information. You wrote like one paragraph more than me.

I wrote 6 FULL paragraphs, and you wrote 2 paragraphs with a sentence.
No, It does not have the necessary information because you never state where or what you hunted, just that “He hunted”
kamenkuro wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 11:36
So? I have no idea who you are

Me neither. You could have just said “oh its just the timezone difference” and I would have been cool, but no.
kamenkuro wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 11:36
Really? There are barely any predators doing anything.
From what I have seen, there are plenty of predators doing a lot of things. LIKE ROLEPLAYING.
kamenkuro wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 11:36
Why are you here?
To... review your app? What else?


HUGE -1 Got toxic. I dont think you can handle the role.
Last edited by Rikman on 18 Apr 2018, 17:27, edited 4 times in total.
“Here is the wild Homo Sapien hunting its prey. The humanoids are pack hunters, using their shoddy armor as a pitiful defense against the towering Insecta. The human is quickly downed by the Insecta’s powerful slash. But, sheer numbers of humanoids rampage the abuser and Insecta is eventually burned to death, beaten, and dismembered.”
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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by Lukey111 » 18 Apr 2018, 11:47

kamenkuro wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 11:36
snip
This is definitely not going to help you. He is not the one being whitelisted, you are. He even said he was considering changing it. Heavy 1- I don't think you anywhere close to being ready for this role.
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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by Thatnewguy1 » 18 Apr 2018, 11:59

kamenkuro wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 11:36
"So? I have no idea who you are"
Hahaha

I like the way you think, refuting criticism with gusto, that "no idea who you are" thing that shows up in most whitelist is kinda dumb, should be based off the people that do know you and how you play, not those who don't.

Anyways, the story length doesn't really matter as short stories got through before, yours was kinda boring and erratic if I'm honest though.

when you got 270 other whitelist apps already made before with their own playstyles, it's hard to create something unique I can understand that.

Gonna give you a neutral cause I like your attitude, but leaning toward -1. because of the above.

Get some more forum posts in cause lots of folks judge you on it.
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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by Weaselburg » 18 Apr 2018, 12:00

Gonna have to go with everyone else, I have not seen you AT ALL, but that might just be timezones, you were pretty rude to Rik, have a account over 2 years old or so with only 6 posts, and the story is WAY to short. People spend weeks, even months, on their pred apps, and even then most of the time they get denied. -1
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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by Weaselburg » 18 Apr 2018, 12:01

I mean, the forum one really isn´t important in my eyes, but still.
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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by kamenkuro » 18 Apr 2018, 12:16

Rikman wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 11:46
Got toxic.
Toxic? I just asked why you're here.
Lukey111 wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 11:47
I don't think you anywhere close to being ready for this role.
I disagree.
Thatnewguy1 wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 11:59

Anyways, the story length doesn't really matter as short stories got through before, yours was kinda boring and erratic if I'm honest though.
Definitely much not a writer. I've been mulling it over for a couple days and that was the best I could do.
Weaselburg wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 12:00
Gonna have to go with everyone else, I have not seen you AT ALL, but that might just be timezones, you were pretty rude to Rik, have a account over 2 years old or so with only 6 posts, and the story is WAY to short. People spend weeks, even months, on their pred apps, and even then most of the time they get denied. -1
I wasn't rude. There is no rule saying how much needs to be written. I wrote about his life and a major turning point. At best I can draw more stuff pertaining to the character.

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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by Rikman » 18 Apr 2018, 12:27

kamenkuro wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 12:16
Toxic? I just asked why you're here.
Definitely much not a writer. I've been mulling it over for a couple days and that was the best I could do.
It really sounded like you were being toxic. You asked in a way that was a little rude in my mind.

And you took a couple of days. It takes months to write an app.
“Here is the wild Homo Sapien hunting its prey. The humanoids are pack hunters, using their shoddy armor as a pitiful defense against the towering Insecta. The human is quickly downed by the Insecta’s powerful slash. But, sheer numbers of humanoids rampage the abuser and Insecta is eventually burned to death, beaten, and dismembered.”
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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by kamenkuro » 18 Apr 2018, 12:29

Rikman wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 12:27
It really sounded like you were being toxic. You asked in a way that was a little rude in my mind.

And you took a couple of days. It takes months to write an app.
I wasn't, that's on you. Also, I looked over a number of whitelisted applications and that's kind of a baseless claim considering lengths vary from post to post.

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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by Thatnewguy1 » 18 Apr 2018, 12:30

Little note to everyone to not be so aggressive when judging others whitelists, we don't want another leonaird situation again with the knuckles meme
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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by Rikman » 18 Apr 2018, 12:39

kamenkuro wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 12:29
I wasn't, that's on you. Also, I looked over a number of whitelisted applications and that's kind of a baseless claim considering lengths vary from post to post.
Its not on me. You are “speaking” in a tone that really sounds like you are pissed at me for god knows what.

Its not baseless. Many of the accepted apps have way more than 2 paragraphs.
My vote is FINAL


Edit: if you have not gotten the hint, I want to stop. What I am telling you is to work on your app more. If you suck at writing, its your fault, because you arent bothering to do anything about it. And work on your playstyle. The whole entire point of reviewing is basically people who dont know you, judging something of yours.
Last edited by Rikman on 18 Apr 2018, 13:00, edited 5 times in total.
“Here is the wild Homo Sapien hunting its prey. The humanoids are pack hunters, using their shoddy armor as a pitiful defense against the towering Insecta. The human is quickly downed by the Insecta’s powerful slash. But, sheer numbers of humanoids rampage the abuser and Insecta is eventually burned to death, beaten, and dismembered.”
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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by kamenkuro » 18 Apr 2018, 12:49

Rikman wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 12:39
Its not on me. You are “speaking” in a tone that really sounds like you are pissed at me for god knows what.

Its not baseless. Many of the accepted apps have way more than 2 paragraphs.
I am typing. You are making assumptions. You are reading far too much into it. Many posts do have a lot of text, but not everyone can write. I am not a writer, if I was suppose to write anymore it would only get worse. I can only manage so much before it becomes a mess. That is why there are a number of other factors deciding the approval. I am an adequate roleplayer. How I portray my character is far more important than the backstory. Which is why someone that does not know me, like yourself, doesn't have much reason to offer their opinion.

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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by Ghostdex » 18 Apr 2018, 13:01

Going to go with a -1. The story was pretty short and didn’t interest me at all. Stories do matter by the way, they can tell if you know lore or not, how a predator should act, etc.

Furthermore I really don’t like your attitude at a little criticism especially since most whitelisted predators have to put up with a lot of salt.

Nothing much else to say, feel free to try to change my mind however.
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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by Lukey111 » 18 Apr 2018, 13:03

Look at the accepted apps, then the denied apps. You were rude in my opinion and it has already stuck with me, and there are like... 170 denied apps and 20-25 accepted. This is probably the hardest app to be accepted in. My decision is also final.
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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by kamenkuro » 18 Apr 2018, 13:13

ghostdex wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 13:01
Going to go with a -1. The story was pretty short and didn’t interest me at all. Stories do matter by the way, they can tell if you know lore or not, how a predator should act, etc.

Furthermore I really don’t like your attitude at a little criticism especially since most whitelisted predators have to put up with a lot of salt.

Nothing much else to say, feel free to try to change my mind however.
I can't improve on the story. If it's a lore test I admit at best my knowledge begins and ends with the movies. When I was doing research I found out about clan wars and that's what I based mine on. I also don't have an attitude. I'm critiquing a critique.
Lukey111 wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 13:03
Look at the accepted apps, then the denied apps. You were rude in my opinion and it has already stuck with me, and there are like... 170 denied apps and 20-25 accepted. This is probably the hardest app to be accepted in. My decision is also final.
I don't get how everyone is taking my questioning some random guy's opinion as rude.

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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by Printer16 » 18 Apr 2018, 13:33

That “random guy”’s opinion is just as valid as a well known member of the community. We are all free to comment and offer constructive criticism to players who may be given a considerable amount of power to change the course of rounds and have the ability to take people out of the game in a few seconds.

OT:
I’m going to start out with saying it’s a -1 from me just based on your reaction to criticism posted in this thread. Besides that, you need to work on your story. It wasn’t an interesting read in my opinion and some more details would go a long way. Your forum activity could use some improvement as being aware of events in the community is an integral part of the whitelist.

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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by Avalanchee » 18 Apr 2018, 15:23

kamenkuro wrote:
18 Apr 2018, 11:36


So? I have no idea who you are

Really? There are barely any predators doing anything.

Why are you here?
I never ever saw you in the game, backstory is meh
(I mean, having a bad story isn't such a big deal if you are a known player and a proper roleplayer but you are none of those. Yet.)

Also those answers are the reason why i am going for a big -1
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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by Alky » 18 Apr 2018, 15:46

Alright, so I'm going to say a big....
|-1| Why?

Well one, I find that your predator story doesn't really fill me in about your predator and it's playstyle along with being uninteresting though I'm not big on the Yautja lore yet. While yes, you may not be a writer, people are still forced to write things such as essays for college/schools, that doesn't stop anyone from making a poor excuse of a story. You have time to write stories, you have time to do anything, it's not like the pred-apps close at schedule times, it's free to apply. The information of people is great, this isn't some triple-A title game where we have 1,000,000+ people playing, it's around 90-200 people playing, majority are regulars that stayed, saying that you don't know someone is a big thing though I do admit there are some people here that I don't recognize, but that's because of squad interactions. Relationships go a long way in CM as it's a bunch of people who knows each other.

Two, your responses. You may see no malice against others when you were responding, but that could be same no matter what to you, watch your words. It's really aggressive to how you respond. Short phrases and quick responses usually means that your aggravated, and that you really need to change stop talking. Though that's my opinion on this take.

Three, please, try to avoid using "real life" excuses. Too many people are frankly spoiled and it's funny. "I have friends" "I have money" "I play sports" yadda yadda. Same, a lot of other people do many more things. Some of these people are marine veterans that have a job, family, and so on. It's really nothing to use unless you just want to argue on the internet more.

Four, Play-style, I wished you interpreted your playstyle into the story. It'd be an easier way to see your character. Your playstyle and story seem opposite, where your playstyle is aggressive and intimidating while your story is calm and wise. That does not bode well at all together. It's either you show directly your character's way of playing, or don't as I said in reason one, take time reading.

I hope you take my responses and wish you luck on your next pred-app.

Good day, Good bye.

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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by LordBanshee » 18 Apr 2018, 16:38

I agree with previous statements. I am neutral but am leaning -1 due to the lack of content within the app. I can appreciate a pred who wants to make some messes, but I need to see that same aggression in your story. If you're confused as to how you will play prior to your first game, it could spell disaster.

As for the responses you gave to the other people rating the app, I can conclude that your attitude, whether it's true of you or not, is easily perceived negatively. That's just not the kind of thing I would like to see in a HRP role.
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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by TheMusician321 » 19 Apr 2018, 21:32

I really do not like your attitude, your backstory is short and doesn't show much of your predator's personality which IMO plays a big part in a backstory for me, I have no idea who you are and your forum activity is super super low.

-1
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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by edda » 19 Apr 2018, 22:45

As predator, you will be receiving a lot of criticism, some of which could get you removed from the whitelist. Based on the way you're handling criticism right now, you wouldn't last a dozen pred games before getting removed.

I'm giving a -1.
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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by Kerek » 19 Apr 2018, 23:45

The attitude in itself isn’t something we want in predator players, and the app overall could use some beefing up. You can find plenty of lore stuff on preds if you search yautja. -1
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Re: pwnt2j-Th'syra

Post by NGGJamie » 20 Apr 2018, 00:27

Before this gets too far out of hand, I'll go ahead and put in my cents on this application now.

I'll start with mentions about the application itself.
  • I would agree that your reply to the first comment on the thread does come across as sounding hostile. I wouldn't go so far as to say "toxic," but hostile is likely a more appropriate term. Your response to how you are criticized is an imperative part of the whitelist process, due to the fact that if you are whitelisted, the ghosts in deadchat will pick apart everything you do, and often times will shit on you, even if you're doing everything right. It takes a thick skin, and calm demeanor in response.
  • Your application, primarily the biography, is far shorter than the norm for accepted applications. The average/recommended length for a biography is roughly 5-6 paragraphs, but not much longer. Two paragraphs is not enough to build a character and show understanding of the intricacies regarding Predator lore. I will elaborate on the emphasis you put, and partially misplaced, in my review of your biography.
Next, my critique of your biography.
  • The main character's portrayal makes them sound like a Gary Stu. They are mentioned to be a great hunter that perfectly abides by the honor code, and he is not shown to actually falter in a fight past inadvertently allowing their clan to be killed while they were away, which I would not consider a flaw.
  • There is little personification of your character to show what they are like, other than how great they are.
  • The ending feels like a cop-out of what could be a great story lengthening finale. Instead, the ‘antagonists’ are handily disposed of my a metaphorical writing meteor by the writer. Even leaving them as a hanging thread to give your predator revenge to pursue in the future would have been better.
I understand that you might not be a writing type as you mentioned, however it would play to your favor to employ the use of beta readers who can give you feedback before you go all in.

I hope you take the advice provided with you, and keep it in mind should you re-apply. I would also highly recommend toning down your attitude, as salting your critics is not how you persuade them to change their minds. This is denied.
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