Tales of Cargonia: Hot Clown Johnson

[Heckenshutze]

This tale is based on a true round experience, and it's being told using Saul's way of story-telling (TM)

> Round starts, LV-625
> MT, doing janitorial duties
> Marines making their routine, leaving trash everywhere
> Proceed to clean up the prep room
> Two baldies fighting over an AP mag
> Switch to grab intent
> Baldie 1 throws a throwing knife, misses baldie 2
> Grab baldie 2 hands, he can't move
> No movement, no evasion
> No evasion, direct hit
> Baldie 1 throws a second knife and lands on Baldie 2 hand
> MP's arrive
> Starts shooting the tasers
> Dodge
> Dodge
> Dodge
> Why the hell you're shooting at me, it's them
> MP with stun baton tries to stun me
> Lure MP to the disposal chute
> Drag him to the chute
> Chute activates, bye MP
> Second MP tases me
> Handcuffed
> Brigged
> Orange jumpsuit
> Hearing about marines being angry with Command because they suck (surprise)
> Marines retreat to Sulaco
> The entire Charlie Squad passes through Security
> Weapons ready
> MP's go out to check
> Shots fired
> PFC Scrub enters sec with MP id
> Opens mi cell
> Bashes me twice with rifle
> Tried to shoot me but out of bullets
> Disarm
> Grab intent, neck, strangle
> Grab MP ID
> Toss marine to the execution chamber naked
> Leave
> Bridge surrounded by dead marines and MP's
> CO sends a distress beacon
> Iron Bears oh boy.
> Cheeki Breeki Sulaco
> Fortify bridge with tables
> CO gives me a tacticool
> Iron Bears comes to bridge
> UGL their commie asses
> Iron Bear FF'ed their leader
> Another UGL
> IB dead.
> Queen called rasp down
> Marines are too angry about iron bears and command
> Masive amount of marines coming to bridge shooting
> Second bridge siege begins
> Broken arm
> Can't shoot so escape
> CO and BO's fight for their lives
> Marines fall like flies
> Xenos arrived
> Ancient Runner comes out the vent
> Decaps the CO
> Slashes me once, BO shoots him with tacticool
> Runner stunned
> Best moment to escape
> Jump into disposal
> BO's Kill the runner
> The marine remnants kill the BO's
> Somehow marines managed to repel the xeno attack
> Xenos retreat to planet
> No CO
> No XO
> No BO
> No Command
> Mother starts auto-boom procedure
> Scottish pipes start to sound: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bq54jb_5WCI
> Estimated time 5 minutes
> Get out of chute
> Patch up the wounds
> Take CO's beret and gloves
> Started as a Janitor
> Ended as the Commander
> Sits on the CO's chair while looking at the dead bodies and thinking about life
> Mother says 30 seconds
> Command Announcement tab ready
> "Honk honk motherfucker" on the tab
> Send.
> Announcement shows up
> Nuclear havoc
> Marines died
> Xenos too.
> Me too.
> But died as a Free Man.

[Sad_Corn]

LV 625?
IT's a typo or a meme?

[Heckenshutze]

LV 625?
IT's a typo or a meme?

Colony has been destroyed more than once. It started as LV-1 you know?

[Sad_Corn]

So, big red must be big red 5?

[Heckenshutze]

So, big red must be big red 5?

Who knows, i don't keep the count

[Desolane900]

First I hide in the chute. Then I fuk ur bich.