The end of the USS Sulaco. Short story

[Mark Wilson]

Commander Bill Carson was staring mindlessly through the frontal glass of the sulaco, located in the bridge. He was soaking in the dreadful horrors of the operation he just lost.

LT Mark Wilson burst through the bridge airlock, breaking the silence

“Sir! The RASP has launched on it’s ow-”

M.O.T.H.E.R: There has been a unscheduled drop ship departure detected. Hijack likely, shutting down autopilot

Bill Carson quickly raised from his command chair and pointed to the Red Alert activation panel.
Both Mark and Carson swiftly swiped their ID cards .


M.O.T.H.E.R: Security level has been elevated to RED. There is an immediate threat to the ship.

Moments later the rest of the LTs and the MPs rushed through the bridge airlocks.

Commander: “guard the doors MPs!”

Bill Carson smashed his fist down on the announcement button

Command Update: “Prepare for boarders men! Defend brief and medbay at all cost!!!!”

The entire sulaco shook as the RASP impacted it’s hull.

M.O.T.H.E.R: Crash site detected, Upper armory.

Commander: “locking down the bridge!”

Bill Carson smashed the blast door control panel. “I have faith in my marines, we will win this!”

LT Mark Wilson listen to his headset…”H-E-L-P U-US!” “ PLEASE GOD, ARRRRRGGGG!!!!!”

Mark Wilson:  “They are getting slaughtered out there!”

Bill Carson sat in silence on his command chair.

Mark spoke over his headset “Hello, Delta SL come in….(silence)....Alpha squad come in….(silence)....GOD DAMN IT, DOSE ANYONE READ ME…(silence)....”

Mark Wilson: “T-They are all dead s-”

The communications console beeped...Incoming voice transmission. Carson pressed accept.

Commander Carson: “H-hello?”

Commander Odd: “This is commander Odd of the USS Almayer, Commander of the USS Sulaco do you read me?” “We have received a message stating you needed assistance.”

Commander Carson: “Commander Odd, I read you. Listen to me you have to turn back, YOU HAVE TO LEAVE!”

Commander Odd: I say again, Commander of the USS Sulaco do you read me?

Commander Carson: GOD DAMN IT, TURN BACK. DO NOT BOARD THIS SHIP!

Commander Odd: “LT, we are getting no response, prep the umbilical cords for boarding.”

Communications Console: End of transmission.

Bill Carson stood staring into the communications console as a tear dropped onto the message history. In the same moment the blast doors were mangled by some sort of rhino alien. The bridge was quickly swarmed every last man was torn to shreds, Carson stood still staring into the console as he was impaled, dropping to the floor.



( Though I'd make a cool little short story, tell me if it was any good. And yes I'm aware that the Almayer would not be able to respond that fast, or at all. It was for the stories sake)

[taketheshot56]

no no no....

Command Update: “Prepare for boarders men! Defend brief and medbay at all cost!!!!”

The entire sulaco shook as the RASP impacted it’s hull.

M.O.T.H.E.R: Crash site detected, Upper armory.

Commander Carson: "Ill be right back hold the line Wilson!!"

MOTHER: Evacuation complete, outbound lifesigns detected 1 Commander Carson.

[Mark Wilson]

no no no....

Command Update: “Prepare for boarders men! Defend brief and medbay at all cost!!!!”

The entire sulaco shook as the RASP impacted it’s hull.

M.O.T.H.E.R: Crash site detected, Upper armory.

Commander Carson: "Ill be right back hold the line Wilson!!"

MOTHER: Evacuation complete, outbound lifesigns detected 1 Commander Carson.

dude, I can't stop laughing right now. It's so true

[taketheshot56]

it is lol and the outbound lifesigns thing happened once too though on the aylameyer rather than the Sulaco

[apophis775]

The sulaco is still out there.

Waiting for it's triumphant return one day...

[taketheshot56]

The sulaco is still out there.

Waiting for it's triumphant return one day...

LV remastered with crashed Sulaco when?

[shyshadow]

The sulaco is still out there.

Waiting for it's triumphant return one day...

It's made it's return, in my "crappy" story.

Anyway, onto the story. It was a sabby story, not really much there to be had considering it was a short story. It doesn't mean it can't be full and fluid. There's always room for improvement, you probably already have an idea why it wasn't as good as it could've been. Considering you read and seen my "review" of Jeether's story. Anyway hope you try to write a story with paragraphs instead of lines. Makes it feel more lively. Also for putting me as the Almayer's commander.

[Mark Wilson]

It's made it's return, in my "crappy" story.

Anyway, onto the story. It was a sabby story, not really much there to be had considering it was a short story. It doesn't mean it can't be full and fluid. There's always room for improvement, you probably already have an idea why it wasn't as good as it could've been. Considering you read and seen my "review" of Jeether's story. Anyway hope you try to write a story with paragraphs instead of lines. Makes it feel more lively. Also for putting me as the Almayer's commander.

Yeah, I was thinking of making it a longer in depth story, but I wanted to see what I could do in a short amount of time ( this took me maybe 10 minutes to finish)

thanks for the feedback

[Mark Wilson]

matter of fact I'm working on a zombie story as we speak, I'm trying to go more in depth so it's gonna take some time.

[Fitchace]

This is a true story!

[MrMafioso]

This is a true story!

You've lied to us, this is fake story. In all honesty you'd ask the Alaymer to dock as you get on a escape pod and run away!