I only faintly remember my father. Much less my mother. The both of them are like the twinkling stars in space. So bright that they look like they're near. Like I can reach out and touch them. When I try, my fingers bump against the cold glass of the cockpit. That's when it always sets in, that the stars I can only yearn for, are light years away.
So hopelessly,
far away.
I don't think that I'll ever reach them,
those stars grouped together,
in the shape of my parent's likeliness.
Sometimes, I make a fist, and dare to break the cockpit windows, by punching a hole through them. If the cabin depressurized, and I was sent adrift forever, would the faces of mom and dad be any clearer among the stars? All it'd take is shattering the glass that keeps me from the past. Then I wouldn't be confined to only observing my few memories of them from the other side anymore.
So hopeful,
so close.
Would I be with them then?
The atmosphere of planets reflects their faces. One is a green gas giant, and in its vibrant hue, I can see the same colored irises of my father. A brightly lit constellation makes up his head. Same with this other planet here, but this one is blue, the color of my mother's eyes. Both of these planets have similar moons orbiting around them. This is the only way I can remember mom and dad. By attaching my foggy memories of what they looked like to celestial bodies, floating in outer-space.
But that's why I came here.
Isn't it?
Somewhere. Somewhere out there, on one of these planets, where life can exist, my mother and father must be living happily together. I won't ever stop until I find them. I'll break the window that only let's me see into what was, and what could've been, were my parents still with me. With us. I'll become a star, or a moon, and someday, I'll become like that star in a great constellation, or that planet floating in orbit. I'll help complete both the images of mom and dad. I'll be right by their side. When I break the window, and my memories are made whole, and clear. That's when they won't just be memories to me anymore.
My wish:
We'll reunite,
then we'll make new memories together,
that's when we'll truly be together at long last.
The glass:
Will crack,
and then it will shatter.
that's when it won't be in our way anymore.
It won't stop us from being a family, then. Because instead of being behind the window, separated from them, I'll be there, beside them.
Wait for me, mom, dad. Jameson and I are searching for you.
"U.S.S vessel [static] to [static], over."
"... Copy."
"Patrol concluded, [static]. Return to base."
"Roger... returning to base."
All I've got to cling to for now is my brother, uncle Kirk, and myself:
Selena Steelberg.
We're comets flying closely together, my brother, and I. The sun we gravitate around, is our hope of what's to come in the future. We'll inch closer to that hope day by day. I know I will, because my parents are waiting for me to find them.
That's enough remembrance in the company of the stars.
It's time to head back. Back, farther, behind the glass, and watch. I won't ever stop looking through the window. Not until I get the life, I wish I could've had, on the other side.
