Story Review

[Martzin]

So lately I've been getting into writing, and have managed to complete a little story for the public to read. Give me your thoughts/criticisms, and I'll take it into account for later writing.

The link:
http://piratepad.net/ep/pad/view/xSV6ckGyVg/latest

Hope you like it, cheers.

[bruzok]

Your story probably needs a little more spacing/paragraphs. I see a wall of text on later part of the story.

[Martzin]

Ill be working on that, along with some major editing through-out the story. Until then I'll wait for some more feedback.