How to expell demons (the aboooose) from the alymer

[hellboundbait]

I have finally figured out how to make admins leave us alone! This tale will recount the time I managed to fight off the aboose, not too long ago (Like 1 hour).


I was CMP, it started like any other, yelling at marines to put guns away, torturing poor rookies.

It all started when the CT was possessed, you see he ordered a phoron assembly crate, and was speaking in tongues! I prayed to the holy powers but alas! This was only a temporary fix!
Once I had hunted down and swiftly delivered sweet, sweet 50,000 volts of justice, I tried to interrogate him, however the tongues language returned. This was obviously a demon possessing the poor CT! So I charged the CT with Terrorist Collaboration and threw them into a strait jacket and into perm.
We all know being possessed by a Demon is bad, and demons are basically terrorists. So they were charged justly so.
The destruction caused by the phoron would have been too great. It had to be stopped.

This is where it gets dark.
The Demon, trapped in its host, broke free and struck Req again!
Possessing items and wheelchairs and attacking my RO officer!
I heard pleas of help, and cries of anguish and pain over coms!
My fellow MPs and I, rushed to their aid. Only, we were assaulted too!
(This was the admin invisible throwing shit everywhere to fuck with us)
The demon summoned a unholy corpse and defiled the Req office, showering the room in Gibs, blood and guts!

The RO rushed to the chapel! afraid of the demon! The CE had answered the calls too and had witnessed it! I announced that We would need to have an exorcism to expel the demon!
Using my time as the only child of a priest who specialized in these, and using the "Exorcism and You" section of the Marine Law book (Praise be!) I devised a way to acquire the goods necessary for it.

We needed Candles, a great feast, a bible, and holy water!
I tasked my fellow MPs and CE to acquiring these items while i prepared the chapel for this Holy task!

I setup 5 candles in the chapel, 4 in a square, one in the center.
We organized for a feast worthy of gods and laid it upon tables! There was donuts too!
We had holy water sanctified and prayed.

I was on the central candle, standing over it with my holy bible and holy water in a flask.
The RO, the CE and two MPs were standing in between the candles, ready for this Holy work!
“The Blessing of the Father Almighty be upon this Creature of Salt, and let all malignity and hindrance be cast forth hence from, and let all good enter herein, for without Thee man cannot live, wherefore I bless thee and invoke thee, that thou mayest aid me."

And I lit the central candle.
"Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with loving kindness and tender mercies; Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's. For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust. As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth. For the wind passeth over it, and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more. But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children's children; To such as keep his covenant, and to those that remember his commandments to do them. The Lord hath prepared his throne in the heavens; and his kingdom ruleth over all. Bless the Lord, ye his angels, that excel in strength, that do his commandments, hearkening unto the voice of his word. Bless ye the Lord, all ye his hosts; ye ministers of his, that do his pleasure. Bless the Lord, all his works in all places of his dominion: bless the Lord, O my soul"

And I lit the candle under the RO.
“I exorcise thee, O Creature of Water, by Him Who hath created thee and gathered thee together into one place so that the dry land appeared, that thou uncover all the deceits of the Enemy, and that thou cast out from thee all the impurities and uncleanness of the Spirits of the World of Phantasm, so they may harm me not, through the virtue of God Almighty Who liveth and reigneth unto the Ages of the Ages. Amen.”
I then lit the rest of the candles.
This summoned the demon, and trapped it to our spiritual power.

A cold creepiness swept over us, the room noticeably getting colder.
I yelled "BEGONE DEMON!" and took a sip of the holy water!

I passed it to the RO, who did the same.
and so was the holy flask handed around, the holy ritual was slowly completed. Each sip, bringing us closer, as brothers and sisters of our lord and saviour.
With the lights flickering, evil laughter in the background, blood, gore and gibs everywhere throughout the ship we slowly cleansed the ship.
This is how we forced the evil from our mighty, Holy ship!

At the last sip, as the last echos of "Begone Demon!" reverberated around the room, a single whisper was heard from me"Begone".
One collective "Amen" and we felt the cold lift, the sudden realization of a presence being lifted, and expelled.
Sure we had done our holy work we left rejoiced, Blessed by our god.
Happy in the knowledge he is with us.
Parting with gifts of Holy Pepper spray so Sec could continue its Holy work, sure we were warriors of the light!

We took that knowledge, and fought off the evil Xeno scum when they tried to board us, donning our Holy Riot Armour, now blessed with Holy Pepper Spray.
I gave my life for the Lord, to allow for Annie the MP to escape.

Our Sister, Annie, the MP.

She who gained strength from us, and partook in the holy cleansing, she lived long enough to hold the Holy room of cleansing, long enough to pull the lever.
Fighting desperately, wave after wave, a constant onslaught of Xenos delivered by the demons!
She bravely fought off not one, but two Screeching demon Xenos.
Tall and proud, She stood over the lever, calm, in the knowledge she would live on.
Live on, in our hearts, our memories, our hopes and our dreams.
Live on, watching over us as we strive against evil.
She cleansed our ship once again, this time, free of all sin, all hatred, all Xenos, All Demons.

The whole of humanity was saved by the sacrifice, the glorious fire, cleansing the whole ship, human, and Xeno alike.
So there the husk of a ship once known as Almayer, floats in the deep abyss. With 5 candles still burning strong.
In the holy chapel of our god. The five hero's, can be seen standing watch over humanity, ready to rise to the call to arms once more.

- CMP Lucas McName
- RO Stephan
- CE (Sorry man I cant remember your name)
- MP Viktor
- MP Annie

[Jagermann]

I was in there. It's been cool!