"The Carson Maneuver"

[Rataca100]

Anyone realize how silly most engagements look when looking at them from observer?

[RiskySikh]

I saw Bill Carson at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

[Simo94]

I saw Bill Carson at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

what

[Dumblike]

I saw Bill Carson at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

I lol'd hard but I don't understand

[Vispain]

Named after famed Commander Bill Carson, the Carson Maneuver is executed thusly:

1. Locate Danger
2. Run Other direction

Your forgot a step in between 1 and 2 or, alternatively after 2.

3. Order marines to danger zone in all caps

[Vispain]

Staff Officer 1: Commander Bill what do we do? Marines are severely being pushed back and danger is closing on LZ.
Commander Bill Carson: Initiate Carson Maneuver protocol Carson right away now!!!!!! Get em and run towards the other LZ pronto. Danger is near...
Staff Officer 2: Are you mad? What the hell is even the Carson Maneuver? Commander that sounds retarded.
Staff officer 1: I agree with other Staff Officer, with all due re-
*Several mateba shots can be heard in the direction of Staff Officer 2 over watch station*
Staff Officer 3: Roger that Commander, ordering marines to run away from danger.
Commander Bill Carson: Prepare my escape pod as well! ABANDON SHIP! Staff Officers aren't allowed in my pod. If danger is near hold em off.
*Bill Carson makes way for his pod, having CE Weld it shut with entire vendor and entire MP Force guarding his pod of several officers*
*In mean time, Requestions and cargo monkeys loading up Carson's survival gear and possessions in the other several pods all welded and guarded by MPs*
*In the pod next to his pod is his trusty cat Jones a pod for the cat themselves*

Just saw this after posting. This is great.

+1 for CO escape Pod. POs have one. The CL has one. Why not one for the CO and, possibly, co.

[Rustarus]

I was debating adding a private escape pod in the commanders room.

Oh you better. That sounds like an amazing idea. I'll send all the marines to the commanders pod to guard it, then run for the other pods and leave the marines doomed inside the CIC. Perfect.

[edda]

Just saw this after posting. This is great.

+1 for CO escape Pod. POs have one. The CL has one. Why not one for the CO and, possibly, co.

The CL has an escape pod? Where?

[Dumblike]

The CL has an escape pod? Where?

I'm almost sure the CL doesn't have an escape pod.

[TehSpoderman]

Someone should write a story about Carson's life after he evacs from the Almayer.

[Jakkkk]

Someone should write a story about Carson's life after he evacs from the Almayer.

I already did. viewtopic.php?f=114&t=16040

[Vispain]

I should've been more clear on that. The CL has a route they can take from their room through maintence that leads to the ladders. From there they can either proceed to the pods on the second floor or, as a even faster route, take the ladder down and use the PO pod. I believe I first learned of that from the wiki but I can no longer find the mention of it

[Edgelord]

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/17510484-c ... 1d77ce691a

[xXen0zS1ay3rXx]

I lost 3 of those rifles...if you weren't on the ball the marines would of definitely lost.

It was a guaranteed win from the start, as they all pretty much are. Good round though, lots of easy frags.

[Loco52]

i miss the ol' CL escape pod.
tiny as crap, but space for 2. who wants the golden ticket out of hell sort of devil deal.
Kinda sad 90% of the time it was never used caused we didnt have random landing areas before its removal.

I just saw this and I believe in the scenario a escape pod was added all CIC would kill eachother to go in there just to die in the hands of xenos boarding CIC in the middle of the turmoil.

[Royal Griffon]

Carson will always be my hero

[Royal Griffon]

I PULLED A CARSON MANOUVER!
I'M SO PROUD!

[Bulaven]

You forgot to add: "Orders suicidal charge before fleeing"