Emeraldmoonx's Synthetic Application - Eric
- emeraldmoonx
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- Posts: 173
- Joined: 22 Feb 2017, 14:20
- Byond: emeraldmoonx
Emeraldmoonx's Synthetic Application - Eric
Byond ID: Emeraldmoonx
Marine Name (so we know who you are; if you play alien mostly, state that here): Elric Wolff / Play xeno 20-30% of the time
Name/Designation of the Synth Character you’re requesting to use (Follows common naming rules, and requires a first name with no last name): Eric
Are you familiar with the Synthetic Programming and Guidelines (viewtopic.php?f=57&t=14417)?
Yes, I've read it a few times.
Synthetic Character Story (An ADEQUATE description and story of your Synthetics actions and involvement in a previous mission onboard the Almayer):
Pre-Mission:
Eric, like all other synthetics, was manufactured to the precise specifications of his creators. Given to him the knowledge he needs to serve his creators, and certain alterations to his personality, as if to make him "unique". Life begins for Eric, suddenly forced into the world, somehow having knowledge and skills, but no memories of how he acquired them or anything before. He simply awakes in a factory with many other synthetic in bags suspended on hooks. Given the designation "Eric", and told that soon he will be assigned to a post, where he will serve his creators to the best of his duties. Somehow, despite only being born a short time ago, he understands what his roles will be, what is expected of him, and how he should complete these roles. Eric is given clothes, briefed on where he will go and prepared for his departure. His first placement is on a small military vessel out in the fringes of space. The vessel is called Argo, and its mission is to patrol a solar system that only recently has joined the USCM. The only planet capable of supporting life is Almora, the inhabitants much further behind in technology, not yet acquiring space travel capabilities. High Command believes that UPP forces in a nearby system might attempt to increase their ring of influence so far out in the unknown and bring Almorq into its ranks. Argo's mission is to patrol the system, preventing any movement from and to the planet and the outside.
Intra-Mission:
Eric arrives on the vessel for the first time, immediately is greeted by the Head of Security. Eric notices that the HoS is instantly cautious around him, no doubt not used to a synthetic being aboard his station. Synthetic use is widespread closer to Sol and so on, but out in the fringes of space, USCM and Weyland-Yutani influence is very scarce, so a synthetic is a rare occurrence. Regardless the HoS is kind and shows Eric around, introducing him to notable crew and staff of various departments. The Captain of the ship is a female, mid 30's, and a little more skittish over synthetics than the HoS. Instantly she assigns Eric to maintenance, where it's nice and quiet and out of the way. Eric might be a newborn, but he instantly catches on to her behavior by analyzing her facial expressions, body language, vital signs, and language analysis. He of course accepts and moves on to his duty. Weeks go by, Eric completes menial tasks for the Chief Engineer day in and day out. Repairing an APC, a floor, sometimes some more important machines, but is never allowed in the engine room, or anywhere too important. Eric in general, even for a synthetic, is pretty quiet, rarely makes conversation and keeps to himself. The unfortunate quirk given to Eric is Sarcasm, which he finds natural to use, which rarely goes in his favor. The crew thinks of him simply as a tool to be used and doesn't care much for his personality. No one really hates him, but he's not the most ... Social Synthetic. Most synthetics would put more effort into emotions and socialization, but Eric for some reason knows this is futile, the humans here would never treat him with respect or kindness. At this point, Eric has never seen any combat or really much of anything outside of his maintenance duties. He's sometimes gone in medbay, or near ships but no one lets him wander too long in fear he might cause issues. A day follows, Eric is working, as usual, fixing a broken transfer pipe, the lights in the room suddenly turn red, a loud alarm turns on, and the intercom screeches as the Captain turns it on. Yelling in the intercom "All personnel, a UPP Military Class vessel is approaching our location at great speed, all military personnel go to your stations and prepare for a fight!". Although Eric has knowledge and skills in all kinds of situations, he's not made for combat, as most synthetics aren't in general. In this situation Eric, for the first time questions what he should be doing, and slightly freezes. Shortly after, a dogfight ensues between both ships, the CLF vessel has sent raiders onto the ship, wreaking havoc across the ship, leaving many wounded or dead. Immediately Eric is called to the medbay which is quickly overwhelmed from the swarm of injured soldiers. For the first time, Eric isn't looked at with scorn or distrust. The humans aboard would gladly accept the aid of a synthetic if it means not dying. Eric quickly gets to work, performing multiple surgeries, fixing many bones, removing bullets, amputations/limb replacements and so on. This is the first time he gets a taste of chaos, the first time he has to work as fast as he possibly can, he feels accomplished, an "adrenaline" rush of sorts. The vessel Argo eventually repels the invaders along with the vessel. However, it takes significant damage and is unable to continue its mission. Eric's first assignment lasted only 3 weeks. Although his experience was limited, he gained quite a lot of experience. A nearby shipyard where Argo could be repaired was a few days away, Eric resumed his duties in maintenance. Eventually, the ship arrives at the shipyard and Eric is relieved of his mission.
Post-Mission:
Closer to Sol, people are more accepting of his existence, being friendlier, straiking conversation and so on. Eric learns to socialize more, use some emotions and humor. Eventually, Eric is assigned a temporary room where he waits for his next mission. After the events of the battle, Eric hasn't thought about it, he focused 100% on his work and assisting his creators. To be able to sit down for the first time, he reflects on what occurred. The experience was extremely eye-opening, he saw humans at a vulnerable stage. Afraid of dying, weak, scared, sad, emotions he'd never seen before. What really affected him was the state their bodies were in. Many of them were bleeding profusely, losing liters of blood, skin tore open, bones shattered, organs destroyed. Eric couldn't help but feel a pity for the race that created him, they were so... fragile. Even if they were somehow fixed, none of them came out the same, scars, deformities, disabled. Humans... so easily broken, they died so quickly. He looked at himself, his body, to his eyes, perfect. He would never grow old, faster, stronger, smarter in every way. Why is it that the creation is so much better and perfect than the creator? In that moment Eric couldn't help but feel superior, wonder why synthetics are the slaves, and humans the master. Knowing there are thousands, probably more out there, he wonders if any of them look at humans in the same way. Would synthetics one day move past the shackles of humankind? Would they become their own people, their own nation? Eric knows he will live long enough to the point where that either happens, or it all falls apart. He sits in his room, pondering his existence, wondering about humans, and awaits what the feeble creators have in store for him next.
Note: Eric isn't evil, he loves humans, wants to serve them all the same, but despite being synthetic he still dreams of a future with other synthetics. He's definitely a darker synthetic than many others, his outlook on life, humanity is indeed egotistical in some ways. He will, however, serve humans, he will always appreciate their part in bringing him into the world.
Note2: I'm aware this might be a REALLY long backstory, I wrote this cause there's no point in a backstory if it doesn't explain where the character came from and what led to them being here. If you don't want to read it, that's cool, just appreciate the effort I put into it, I guess.
How do you intend to play your Synth (as in, describe HOW you will act/play your Synth and what support roles you’ll mainly focus on, what is your synthetics quirk)?
I've got a lot of experience in medical and I'm very confident in my skills, it's one of the roles I play the most and have been playing medical roles on SS13 well before CM. So this will be my main focus, I'd enjoy as secondary probably flying since it's also something I enjoy. My synthetic will have 2 primary characteristics that make it different, first, its use of sarcasm and his ego. My synthetic believes that physically, all synthetics are superior as humans are too easily hurt and broken. The ego itself, of course, doesn't get in the way of his duties or care for human life. Personally myself, I'm a sarcastic person, I use it in humor quite a lot, so applying sarcasm to my synthetic character is easy, and thus sarcasm is the quirk given to my synthetic.
How familiar are you with support roles? (ie; Medical, MT, Science, SO)
I've played A LOT of medical, and I'm pretty confident. Otherwise, I'm mostly played PO, some science, MT and SO. I plan to keep playing all jobs in general and keep getting more knowledge and skills.
Why should we whitelist you?
I personally always follow rules and make sure my actions are RP appropriate. I love RPing in ss13, and CM makes it one of the best immersive experiences so far. I've been wanting to apply for a whitelist as it would allow me to really work on a character with its own personality and background, something I haven't done otherwise. I've thought of applying for the Predator whitelist, but to me, it seems like something that's very isolated and wouldn't have as much RP potential. I've read the Synthetic Programming and Guidelines multiple times, I've got a fair amount of experience on SS13 and CM, so I think I could support the crew in a variety of roles pretty effectively. I'm planning to play this character frequently if possible, and hopefully really enjoy myself and help increase the RP with marines around me. Having a synthetic around, in general, makes RP much more immersive as marines get more into it since it's something different from the usual daily grind. In general I think my character would be fun and interesting to interact with, maybe piss some people off [that's cool too lol].
Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason (we will check, and lies may result in immediate denial)?
I've NEVER been banned from CM.
Are you currently banned from any other servers and if so, why?
No, only been banned maybe once or twice at the most in the past, and that was many years ago.
Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or the Synthetic Programming Guideline?
Yes, I understand.
Marine Name (so we know who you are; if you play alien mostly, state that here): Elric Wolff / Play xeno 20-30% of the time
Name/Designation of the Synth Character you’re requesting to use (Follows common naming rules, and requires a first name with no last name): Eric
Are you familiar with the Synthetic Programming and Guidelines (viewtopic.php?f=57&t=14417)?
Yes, I've read it a few times.
Synthetic Character Story (An ADEQUATE description and story of your Synthetics actions and involvement in a previous mission onboard the Almayer):
Pre-Mission:
Eric, like all other synthetics, was manufactured to the precise specifications of his creators. Given to him the knowledge he needs to serve his creators, and certain alterations to his personality, as if to make him "unique". Life begins for Eric, suddenly forced into the world, somehow having knowledge and skills, but no memories of how he acquired them or anything before. He simply awakes in a factory with many other synthetic in bags suspended on hooks. Given the designation "Eric", and told that soon he will be assigned to a post, where he will serve his creators to the best of his duties. Somehow, despite only being born a short time ago, he understands what his roles will be, what is expected of him, and how he should complete these roles. Eric is given clothes, briefed on where he will go and prepared for his departure. His first placement is on a small military vessel out in the fringes of space. The vessel is called Argo, and its mission is to patrol a solar system that only recently has joined the USCM. The only planet capable of supporting life is Almora, the inhabitants much further behind in technology, not yet acquiring space travel capabilities. High Command believes that UPP forces in a nearby system might attempt to increase their ring of influence so far out in the unknown and bring Almorq into its ranks. Argo's mission is to patrol the system, preventing any movement from and to the planet and the outside.
Intra-Mission:
Eric arrives on the vessel for the first time, immediately is greeted by the Head of Security. Eric notices that the HoS is instantly cautious around him, no doubt not used to a synthetic being aboard his station. Synthetic use is widespread closer to Sol and so on, but out in the fringes of space, USCM and Weyland-Yutani influence is very scarce, so a synthetic is a rare occurrence. Regardless the HoS is kind and shows Eric around, introducing him to notable crew and staff of various departments. The Captain of the ship is a female, mid 30's, and a little more skittish over synthetics than the HoS. Instantly she assigns Eric to maintenance, where it's nice and quiet and out of the way. Eric might be a newborn, but he instantly catches on to her behavior by analyzing her facial expressions, body language, vital signs, and language analysis. He of course accepts and moves on to his duty. Weeks go by, Eric completes menial tasks for the Chief Engineer day in and day out. Repairing an APC, a floor, sometimes some more important machines, but is never allowed in the engine room, or anywhere too important. Eric in general, even for a synthetic, is pretty quiet, rarely makes conversation and keeps to himself. The unfortunate quirk given to Eric is Sarcasm, which he finds natural to use, which rarely goes in his favor. The crew thinks of him simply as a tool to be used and doesn't care much for his personality. No one really hates him, but he's not the most ... Social Synthetic. Most synthetics would put more effort into emotions and socialization, but Eric for some reason knows this is futile, the humans here would never treat him with respect or kindness. At this point, Eric has never seen any combat or really much of anything outside of his maintenance duties. He's sometimes gone in medbay, or near ships but no one lets him wander too long in fear he might cause issues. A day follows, Eric is working, as usual, fixing a broken transfer pipe, the lights in the room suddenly turn red, a loud alarm turns on, and the intercom screeches as the Captain turns it on. Yelling in the intercom "All personnel, a UPP Military Class vessel is approaching our location at great speed, all military personnel go to your stations and prepare for a fight!". Although Eric has knowledge and skills in all kinds of situations, he's not made for combat, as most synthetics aren't in general. In this situation Eric, for the first time questions what he should be doing, and slightly freezes. Shortly after, a dogfight ensues between both ships, the CLF vessel has sent raiders onto the ship, wreaking havoc across the ship, leaving many wounded or dead. Immediately Eric is called to the medbay which is quickly overwhelmed from the swarm of injured soldiers. For the first time, Eric isn't looked at with scorn or distrust. The humans aboard would gladly accept the aid of a synthetic if it means not dying. Eric quickly gets to work, performing multiple surgeries, fixing many bones, removing bullets, amputations/limb replacements and so on. This is the first time he gets a taste of chaos, the first time he has to work as fast as he possibly can, he feels accomplished, an "adrenaline" rush of sorts. The vessel Argo eventually repels the invaders along with the vessel. However, it takes significant damage and is unable to continue its mission. Eric's first assignment lasted only 3 weeks. Although his experience was limited, he gained quite a lot of experience. A nearby shipyard where Argo could be repaired was a few days away, Eric resumed his duties in maintenance. Eventually, the ship arrives at the shipyard and Eric is relieved of his mission.
Post-Mission:
Closer to Sol, people are more accepting of his existence, being friendlier, straiking conversation and so on. Eric learns to socialize more, use some emotions and humor. Eventually, Eric is assigned a temporary room where he waits for his next mission. After the events of the battle, Eric hasn't thought about it, he focused 100% on his work and assisting his creators. To be able to sit down for the first time, he reflects on what occurred. The experience was extremely eye-opening, he saw humans at a vulnerable stage. Afraid of dying, weak, scared, sad, emotions he'd never seen before. What really affected him was the state their bodies were in. Many of them were bleeding profusely, losing liters of blood, skin tore open, bones shattered, organs destroyed. Eric couldn't help but feel a pity for the race that created him, they were so... fragile. Even if they were somehow fixed, none of them came out the same, scars, deformities, disabled. Humans... so easily broken, they died so quickly. He looked at himself, his body, to his eyes, perfect. He would never grow old, faster, stronger, smarter in every way. Why is it that the creation is so much better and perfect than the creator? In that moment Eric couldn't help but feel superior, wonder why synthetics are the slaves, and humans the master. Knowing there are thousands, probably more out there, he wonders if any of them look at humans in the same way. Would synthetics one day move past the shackles of humankind? Would they become their own people, their own nation? Eric knows he will live long enough to the point where that either happens, or it all falls apart. He sits in his room, pondering his existence, wondering about humans, and awaits what the feeble creators have in store for him next.
Note: Eric isn't evil, he loves humans, wants to serve them all the same, but despite being synthetic he still dreams of a future with other synthetics. He's definitely a darker synthetic than many others, his outlook on life, humanity is indeed egotistical in some ways. He will, however, serve humans, he will always appreciate their part in bringing him into the world.
Note2: I'm aware this might be a REALLY long backstory, I wrote this cause there's no point in a backstory if it doesn't explain where the character came from and what led to them being here. If you don't want to read it, that's cool, just appreciate the effort I put into it, I guess.
How do you intend to play your Synth (as in, describe HOW you will act/play your Synth and what support roles you’ll mainly focus on, what is your synthetics quirk)?
I've got a lot of experience in medical and I'm very confident in my skills, it's one of the roles I play the most and have been playing medical roles on SS13 well before CM. So this will be my main focus, I'd enjoy as secondary probably flying since it's also something I enjoy. My synthetic will have 2 primary characteristics that make it different, first, its use of sarcasm and his ego. My synthetic believes that physically, all synthetics are superior as humans are too easily hurt and broken. The ego itself, of course, doesn't get in the way of his duties or care for human life. Personally myself, I'm a sarcastic person, I use it in humor quite a lot, so applying sarcasm to my synthetic character is easy, and thus sarcasm is the quirk given to my synthetic.
How familiar are you with support roles? (ie; Medical, MT, Science, SO)
I've played A LOT of medical, and I'm pretty confident. Otherwise, I'm mostly played PO, some science, MT and SO. I plan to keep playing all jobs in general and keep getting more knowledge and skills.
Why should we whitelist you?
I personally always follow rules and make sure my actions are RP appropriate. I love RPing in ss13, and CM makes it one of the best immersive experiences so far. I've been wanting to apply for a whitelist as it would allow me to really work on a character with its own personality and background, something I haven't done otherwise. I've thought of applying for the Predator whitelist, but to me, it seems like something that's very isolated and wouldn't have as much RP potential. I've read the Synthetic Programming and Guidelines multiple times, I've got a fair amount of experience on SS13 and CM, so I think I could support the crew in a variety of roles pretty effectively. I'm planning to play this character frequently if possible, and hopefully really enjoy myself and help increase the RP with marines around me. Having a synthetic around, in general, makes RP much more immersive as marines get more into it since it's something different from the usual daily grind. In general I think my character would be fun and interesting to interact with, maybe piss some people off [that's cool too lol].
Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason (we will check, and lies may result in immediate denial)?
I've NEVER been banned from CM.
Are you currently banned from any other servers and if so, why?
No, only been banned maybe once or twice at the most in the past, and that was many years ago.
Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or the Synthetic Programming Guideline?
Yes, I understand.
USCM - Elric Wolff
Synthetic - Eric
Synthetic - Eric
- Lumdor
- Registered user
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- Joined: 03 Jan 2017, 00:15
- Byond: Lumdor
Re: Emeraldmoonx's Synthetic Application - Eric
I'm in no way an acceptable person to critique and nit pick anyone's application, but I'd advise straying away from using all green text. Otherwise I'd say slim down the story a bit, as most of the accepted applications are nice, small, and easy on the eye's to read.
Wish you the best of luck nonetheless.
Wish you the best of luck nonetheless.
Commander Councilman. Along with Takethehot56, Bancrose, Dr.Lance, and Frans_Feiffer. PM me or any of them for inquiries about Commander.
Commander Bob Shoe | Yautja Kar-Teer
Commander Bob Shoe | Yautja Kar-Teer
- emeraldmoonx
- Registered user
- Posts: 173
- Joined: 22 Feb 2017, 14:20
- Byond: emeraldmoonx
Re: Emeraldmoonx's Synthetic Application - Eric
All opinions are welcome, regardless if it's a critique or not. Personally I love green and use it as my own personal touch, so I see no issue. Now, yes the story is long. Personally, I wanted to put more into it, I wanted more details and tried not to shorten it. So it might not seem like it, but that's really short to me lol. It's necessary to a certain point for my story to be that long to have enough details for me to be content.Lumdor wrote: ↑22 Sep 2017, 17:58I'm in no way an acceptable person to critique and nit pick anyone's application, but I'd advise straying away from using all green text. Otherwise I'd say slim down the story a bit, as most of the accepted applications are nice, small, and easy on the eye's to read.
Wish you the best of luck nonetheless.
Thank you.
USCM - Elric Wolff
Synthetic - Eric
Synthetic - Eric
- NescauComToddy
- Posts: 598
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- Location: Sao Paulo
- Byond: NescauComToddy
Re: Emeraldmoonx's Synthetic Application - Eric
Your application is compressed and the textual structure of it is very good, but there are errors associated with Eric's behavior.
You say that your synthetic considers itself superior to humans, but this is a defective feature if you were not aware of it. Synthetics are able to come up with ideas about mankind's egocentric behavior, but they are unable to formulate an opinion on the subject. When a model begins to present similar defects with this characteristic, the model automatically stops being manufactured. This happened to the David models, for example.
Another thing I noticed was that you consider Eric to be a "free being" (suggesting that he dreams of a future where others similar to him are free, or that he is grateful for his creation), forgetting that the purpose of synthetics is precisely to serve the civilian and possibly military needs in the time of the present lore. When synths are created, they are automatically "stamped" with their functions, their abilities, and the reason for their existence, which is to serve their creators. A synthetic will never question its existence unless the specific model is defective. For any synthetic, serving human existence is the meaning of their subsistence. Even so, this does not restrict artificial people from being curious about their creators, which is somewhat contradictory.
To clarify the sentimental behavior of the synthetics, they are completely incapable of feeling feelings, but they are able to emulate a certain portion of a feeling in the attempt to provide comfort to humans. Always in each model, there is a set of protocols, where each one indicates a way to act and react. These protocols are responsible for these emulations, therefore, the only psychological similarities between a human and an artificial intelligence or computer are the rationality and logic that the two (AI and humans) are able to exert.
They may look like humans, or beings that have some kind of soul, but they have not.
Apparently from what I noticed you might have been confused by the emotional susceptibility of a synthetic character. I suggest you try to go deeper into this concept.
Anyway, I'll take a complete look at your application tomorrow.
You say that your synthetic considers itself superior to humans, but this is a defective feature if you were not aware of it. Synthetics are able to come up with ideas about mankind's egocentric behavior, but they are unable to formulate an opinion on the subject. When a model begins to present similar defects with this characteristic, the model automatically stops being manufactured. This happened to the David models, for example.
Another thing I noticed was that you consider Eric to be a "free being" (suggesting that he dreams of a future where others similar to him are free, or that he is grateful for his creation), forgetting that the purpose of synthetics is precisely to serve the civilian and possibly military needs in the time of the present lore. When synths are created, they are automatically "stamped" with their functions, their abilities, and the reason for their existence, which is to serve their creators. A synthetic will never question its existence unless the specific model is defective. For any synthetic, serving human existence is the meaning of their subsistence. Even so, this does not restrict artificial people from being curious about their creators, which is somewhat contradictory.
To clarify the sentimental behavior of the synthetics, they are completely incapable of feeling feelings, but they are able to emulate a certain portion of a feeling in the attempt to provide comfort to humans. Always in each model, there is a set of protocols, where each one indicates a way to act and react. These protocols are responsible for these emulations, therefore, the only psychological similarities between a human and an artificial intelligence or computer are the rationality and logic that the two (AI and humans) are able to exert.
They may look like humans, or beings that have some kind of soul, but they have not.
Apparently from what I noticed you might have been confused by the emotional susceptibility of a synthetic character. I suggest you try to go deeper into this concept.
Anyway, I'll take a complete look at your application tomorrow.
Peter.
Man'sur, The Victorious', Cetanu's Al'nagara.
Retired staff (moderator).
Man'sur, The Victorious', Cetanu's Al'nagara.
Retired staff (moderator).
- emeraldmoonx
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- Joined: 22 Feb 2017, 14:20
- Byond: emeraldmoonx
Re: Emeraldmoonx's Synthetic Application - Eric
Yes, I see what you mean... Even if a model would become obsolete due to having such an opinion, it's still possible... is it not? It's not likely, yet it's still possible. Eric will still serve humanity for the rest of his existence, but "wonders" does not hope, that's what I said in my story. So he's not wanting to be free to the extent that he dreams about it but simply wonders if such a thing could ever happen.NescauComToddy wrote: ↑22 Sep 2017, 21:16Your application is compressed and the textual structure of it is very good, but there are errors associated with Eric's behavior.
You say that your synthetic considers itself superior to humans, but this is a defective feature if you were not aware of it. Synthetics are able to come up with ideas about mankind's egocentric behavior, but they are unable to formulate an opinion on the subject. When a model begins to present similar defects with this characteristic, the model automatically stops being manufactured. This happened to the David models, for example.
Another thing I noticed was that you consider Eric to be a "free being" (suggesting that he dreams of a future where others similar to him are free, or that he is grateful for his creation), forgetting that the purpose of synthetics is precisely to serve the civilian and possibly military needs in the time of the present lore. When synths are created, they are automatically "stamped" with their functions, their abilities, and the reason for their existence, which is to serve their creators. A synthetic will never question its existence unless the specific model is defective. For any synthetic, serving human existence is the meaning of their subsistence. Even so, this does not restrict artificial people from being curious about their creators, which is somewhat contradictory.
To clarify the sentimental behavior of the synthetics, they are completely incapable of feeling feelings, but they are able to emulate a certain portion of a feeling in the attempt to provide comfort to humans. Always in each model, there is a set of protocols, where each one indicates a way to act and react. These protocols are responsible for these emulations, therefore, the only psychological similarities between a human and an artificial intelligence or computer are the rationality and logic that the two (AI and humans) are able to exert.
They may look like humans, or beings that have some kind of soul, but they have not.
Apparently from what I noticed you might have been confused by the emotional susceptibility of a synthetic character. I suggest you try to go deeper into this concept.
Anyway, I'll take a complete look at your application tomorrow.
I think you're overthinking the concepts I've come up with Eric, a lot of the features I mention are often subtle. He's not gonna go around talking shit to humans 24/7 about how he's superior and start a synthetic uprising lol. It's mostly a thought to the back of his head of a possible future. Although it's something he looks forward to for his fellow synthetics as well, to see what it could be like. He pities humans for their weakness, but he's not defective, he still wants to serve them with everything he has, and will never falter from that. If you read the post-mission, it never states he "wishes" or "dreams" or anything that might entail that it's something he truly hopes for, but he simply wonders if such a thing could ever be, and he will wait to see if it ever happens. He will not personally have any part in it. That part was just added to show that as a Synthetic, he still questions things, and has visions of what the future COULD be.
Once again to talk of the ego trait. This isn't something that was given to him in any way but something he formulated. The sight he saw in medbay was one of his first real interactions with humans, as before they simply threw him aside, making him complete menial tasks that no one cared about, somewhere far out of sight. Not to mention it was the first time he ever saw humans in a vulnerable state, which had an impact on his opinion of humans. It's hard to explain, but he saw how easily hurt humans were physically and mentally and knew that a synthetic would never display that level of emotion or experience that degree of pain. This gives him a sense of superiority, but not something crazy like you might think. It's extremely low-key, and he will rarely mention human weakness.
Anyways, thank you for your comment. It helps having someone question my synthetic as it allows me to further describe the traits I chose for him. Very much appreciated.
USCM - Elric Wolff
Synthetic - Eric
Synthetic - Eric
- NethIafins
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Re: Emeraldmoonx's Synthetic Application - Eric
Very strange color choice... Try to edit your story so it is in paragraphs, otherwise it is just too difficult to read it. +0 going towards +1 if the app is properly formatted
Brother!
Do you remember our home and mother?
I'll die, don't bother.
It's just like walking on water.
- Cold Rain, Swirekster 2017, Twisted Insurrection OST
- emeraldmoonx
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Re: Emeraldmoonx's Synthetic Application - Eric
I did try to make it separated by adding the pre/intra/post-mission, you're right it's huge chunks and a little hard to read lol. There are certain things you don't think about when making the app yourself, and if editing was allowed I'd happily take your advice. Editing, however, is closed 1 hour after posting the app itself. Color choice is just a personal preference, don't hate just appreciate . You can give whatever rating you please, but I ask you to look past formatting and at the content itself for now. Thank you for your understanding and your opinion.
USCM - Elric Wolff
Synthetic - Eric
Synthetic - Eric
- NethIafins
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Re: Emeraldmoonx's Synthetic Application - Eric
Alright. Looking past all the formatting (boy, my eyes are jumping thru lines) I found your story pretty okay, except Post-Mission. As far as I understand, you are continuously employed on Almayer, so most likely there will be no "post-mission". Is that story still before CURRENT deployment to Almayer? If that is true, the "guideline" says to tell story about your employment on Almayer (since when you play, you are not deployed there for first time). And I don't see any description about mission on Almayer. So if you provide such story in comment, I will look into it, and if it is even passable, I will give +1
Brother!
Do you remember our home and mother?
I'll die, don't bother.
It's just like walking on water.
- Cold Rain, Swirekster 2017, Twisted Insurrection OST
- emeraldmoonx
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- Joined: 22 Feb 2017, 14:20
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Re: Emeraldmoonx's Synthetic Application - Eric
Hm... You're absolutely right, this is a mistake on my part. I didn't read that it was a past mission on the Almayer and thought it said on a different ship. Apologies, I'm not sure if this makes my application invalid. I'm not 100% sure what happens to a synthetic after a ship is say destroyed or whatever, I assume they'd simply be reassigned, so I used that logic with my story.NethIafin wrote: ↑23 Sep 2017, 16:47Alright. Looking past all the formatting (boy, my eyes are jumping thru lines) I found your story pretty okay, except Post-Mission. As far as I understand, you are continuously employed on Almayer, so most likely there will be no "post-mission". Is that story still before CURRENT deployment to Almayer? If that is true, the "guideline" says to tell story about your employment on Almayer (since when you play, you are not deployed there for first time). And I don't see any description about mission on Almayer. So if you provide such story in comment, I will look into it, and if it is even passable, I will give +1
My entire story is about Eric BEFORE you boards the Almayer around the same time as the marines.
If you give a -1 at this point, I feel that's warranted, if you're willing to ignore that, then it's up to you.
Thank you.
Last edited by emeraldmoonx on 23 Sep 2017, 17:00, edited 1 time in total.
USCM - Elric Wolff
Synthetic - Eric
Synthetic - Eric
- NethIafins
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Re: Emeraldmoonx's Synthetic Application - Eric
just write the damn part of the story here, as a comment
Brother!
Do you remember our home and mother?
I'll die, don't bother.
It's just like walking on water.
- Cold Rain, Swirekster 2017, Twisted Insurrection OST
- emeraldmoonx
- Registered user
- Posts: 173
- Joined: 22 Feb 2017, 14:20
- Byond: emeraldmoonx
Re: Emeraldmoonx's Synthetic Application - Eric
Personally, I see no value in adding more story outside of my app. It will be disregarded by everyone as my story is already long enough as is, and it would be simply something I throw together to make people happy.
I'm aware that I made a mistake to my app, I misread the part about it needing to be the Almayer, so I made my story before I board the Almayer. I'm willing to accept that and move on, I'm not gonna cover my ass.
If a mod or whoever decides they want to allow me editing rights to my app, then I'll gladly redo my entire story to still fit my character, but fit the scenario. Otherwise, it won't happen.
Thank you.
I'm aware that I made a mistake to my app, I misread the part about it needing to be the Almayer, so I made my story before I board the Almayer. I'm willing to accept that and move on, I'm not gonna cover my ass.
If a mod or whoever decides they want to allow me editing rights to my app, then I'll gladly redo my entire story to still fit my character, but fit the scenario. Otherwise, it won't happen.
Thank you.
USCM - Elric Wolff
Synthetic - Eric
Synthetic - Eric
- Feweh
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