Susan's (Lukey's) Synth App 2#

Lukey111 · Post by **Lukey111** » 05 Apr 2018, 23:47

Byond ID:

Lukey111

Marine Name (so we know who you are; if you play alien mostly, state that here):

Monday 'Scatter' Williams (frequently alien, also)

Name/Designation of the Synth Character you’re requesting to use (Follows common naming rules, and requires a first name with no last name):

Susan

Are you familiar with the Synthetic Programming and Guidelines (viewtopic.php?f=57&t=14417)?

Of course, I would not be applying if I didn't.

Synthetic Character Story (An ADEQUATE description and story of your Synthetics actions and involvement in a previous mission onboard the Almayer):

► Show Spoiler

How do you intend to play your Synth (as in, describe HOW you will act/play your Synth and what support roles you’ll mainly focus on, what is your synthetics quirk)?

► Show Spoiler

How familiar are you with support roles? (ie; Medical, MT, Science, SO)

I am distinguished in all roles.
I know OD limits.
How to adequately and effectively set up the reactors/build cades.
I can easily lead a squad of marines tactically.
I know all marine law standards by heart.
I can tell a BC and a BE apart.
I know 'almost' all maps by heart.

Why should we whitelist you?

I think you should whitelist me because I have learned from my previous app's mistakes and think that I should be given a chance to let my RP skills shine through.
There is also a lack of female synth's, and I would like to balance that out a bit, and with almost every single synth 'usually' being medical, I wish to go through the engineering, cargonia, and CIC route to give some uniqueness and to assist the marines with extra supplies, brain power, and a bit of confidence/morale.

Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason (we will check, and lies may result in immediate denial)?

Nope, no job bans, warnings, or bans.

Are you currently banned from any other servers and if so, why?

Never have, never will be (except on some fallout server where I joined as a raider, and smoked a civ, which is apparently low RP (happened a few months ago)

Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or the Synthetic Programming Guideline?

I fully understand that and wish you to take away my whitelist status if I prove to be inadequate.

Any and all feedback is very much appreciated!

Wubs4Scrubs · Post by **Wubs4Scrubs** » 06 Apr 2018, 01:52

Hi Lukey, I'll leave a more in depth comment later but I just thought I'd ask a quick question. On your previous app I brought up how your maturity level was my biggest concern with whitelisting you. One personal example that comes to mind is when you and I were spawned in as scavengers on prison station for one of Em's events and I think some of the first words out of your mouth were "YEAH LET'S RAPE SOME MARINES" or something very similar. It made a bad impression to me as you were given an RP role and immediately did some very low-rp stuff.

However, this was months ago, back when you and I were still on the staff team as mentors. So my question is how can you show that you've matured since your last application?

DrPng · Post by **DrPng** » 06 Apr 2018, 02:45

"There is also a lack of female synth's, and I would like to balance that out a bit"
This is barely the case, in fact I mainly see female synths as opposed to male synths and everybody is so quick to jump to the conclusion that almost every synth is male when in fact this is not the case.

I don't think your reason to be white listed is very good solely for this reason but I'll let it slide because you wrote that you know and play a lot of support roles.

From the beginning of your back ground,
when your synth is booting up you have your synth analyzing your mother board then after she analyzes her mother board, her mother board analyses becomes online?
That's really just a nit pick, but attention to detail is vital in support roles.

Also, when the guy was repairing, the fuck did he use the crow bar on? Did he crowbar open yours synths face to access her memories? No, that wouldn't make much sense.
Gameplay wise, synths are repaired using welders just like any other mechanical parts.

Gonna try and shorten this up with a general consensus, your back ground was sort of confusing and there was some improper uses of grammar, which I've heard is VERY important when being a synthetic. Improper uses of "there" when it should be "their."
From what I gathered, your synth was damaged, UPP bang bang, some dude named monday repaired your synth, explosion, Mr Monday fainted from his robo hand, your synth did some engineering stuff, then some dude showed up with c4 and a smartgun, then your synth broke down for her second time and had to be repaired. Synths are very durable and strong, and yet you only showed your synthetic breaking down and doing some minor engineering. More breaking down than engineering though.

TL;DR: Background sucks, too many little grammar errors and bland portrayal

Moving on to how you intend to play your synth, your synth acts very MUCH like a human. Which is fine, they are supposed to, but the way you intend to play your synth sounds like your playing a normal marine or civvie, you just have a special Synth sticker slapped onto you. Your synth just reacts too much to everyone else's emotions. They are supposed to have a personality quirk that does NOT affect their action. And then you bring up combat and how you will do it without hesitation if need be and you understand physically how to fire a gun. That part is not true. It even says in the synthetic guide lines that synthetics are programmed to NOT know how to use guns AT ALL.

Overall, this app was pretty bland compared to the other synthetic apps I've looked at.
Sorry pal, but I'm gonna give it a -1.

Lukey111 · Post by **Lukey111** » 06 Apr 2018, 09:27

Wubs4Scrubs wrote: ↑
06 Apr 2018, 01:52
Hi Lukey, I'll leave a more in depth comment later but I just thought I'd ask a quick question. On your previous app I brought up how your maturity level was my biggest concern with whitelisting you. One personal example that comes to mind is when you and I were spawned in as scavengers on prison station for one of Em's events and I think some of the first words out of your mouth were "YEAH LET'S RAPE SOME MARINES" or something very similar. It made a bad impression to me as you were given an RP role and immediately did some very low-rp stuff.

However, this was months ago, back when you and I were still on the staff team as mentors. So my question is how can you show that you've matured since your last application?

I can show that I have matured since my last application by showing you the countless times I have played any command unit, I showed that I was capable of being a RP role as I got the orders done, and I made time of the essence. I only said that because in my head, the scavengers were not a high RP role, and em was still working on supplies. As, if I am a marine, or MT, I will act silly, or make jokes, as I am not the most noticed person on the game, and I feel in those jobs it's part of my characters attitude.

DrPng wrote: ↑
06 Apr 2018, 02:45
"There is also a lack of female synth's, and I would like to balance that out a bit"
This is barely the case, in fact I mainly see female synths as opposed to male synths and everybody is so quick to jump to the conclusion that almost every synth is male when in fact this is not the case.

I don't think your reason to be white listed is very good solely for this reason but I'll let it slide because you wrote that you know and play a lot of support roles.

From the beginning of your back ground,
when your synth is booting up you have your synth analyzing your mother board then after she analyzes her mother board, her mother board analyses becomes online?
That's really just a nit pick, but attention to detail is vital in support roles.

Also, when the guy was repairing, the fuck did he use the crow bar on? Did he crowbar open yours synths face to access her memories? No, that wouldn't make much sense.
Gameplay wise, synths are repaired using welders just like any other mechanical parts.

Gonna try and shorten this up with a general consensus, your back ground was sort of confusing and there was some improper uses of grammar, which I've heard is VERY important when being a synthetic. Improper uses of "there" when it should be "their."
From what I gathered, your synth was damaged, UPP bang bang, some dude named monday repaired your synth, explosion, Mr Monday fainted from his robo hand, your synth did some engineering stuff, then some dude showed up with c4 and a smartgun, then your synth broke down for her second time and had to be repaired. Synths are very durable and strong, and yet you only showed your synthetic breaking down and doing some minor engineering. More breaking down than engineering though.

TL;DR: Background sucks, too many little grammar errors and bland portrayal

Moving on to how you intend to play your synth, your synth acts very MUCH like a human. Which is fine, they are supposed to, but the way you intend to play your synth sounds like your playing a normal marine or civvie, you just have a special Synth sticker slapped onto you. Your synth just reacts too much to everyone else's emotions. They are supposed to have a personality quirk that does NOT affect their action. And then you bring up combat and how you will do it without hesitation if need be and you understand physically how to fire a gun. That part is not true. It even says in the synthetic guide lines that synthetics are programmed to NOT know how to use guns AT ALL.

Overall, this app was pretty bland compared to the other synthetic apps I've looked at.
Sorry pal, but I'm gonna give it a -1.

I will answer these to my best ability.

1. The motherboard part had a diagnosis paused... Diagnosis resumed to show that Williams had repaired the board, so it scanned again to show that it was online.

2.I made this awhile back, with there only being 3 or 4 who were females, people immediately loved to be females out of no where (kind of me) and now there is about 7 to 8 females. So I agree.

3. I did not put my brain into what tools to use, as I did not see it needing specific tools.

4. I realize grammar is important, as I have been helping and voting on other apps. The grammar must have been here or there, as I'm pretty sure that I generally got most of it.

5. The first time she got hit by a mortar, then after she had to face a smartgun, people behind them shooting, and she was also cut off from her comrades.

6. I said that I "mentally" know how to fire a gun, I physically can not do it though.

7. I feel like reacting to their emotions is part of my quirk, as to have a better relationship with the crewmembers, and to be more interactive with them.

I hope to see you change your mind.

DrPng · Post by **DrPng** » 06 Apr 2018, 11:32

Okay, glad you reacted. I feel like you left out a lot of important details to let the reader guess what happened. Which is fine when you do it right, but you didn't here. Instead, it shows a lack of effort and thought.

► Show Spoiler

Yeah...you did say you know how to do it if you could "physically" do it, not mentally.

As for the emotional part, the real grudge here is:

► Show Spoiler

Synthetics cannot feel emotions so why would she let some smart ass marine get the best of her?

Lukey111 · Post by **Lukey111** » 06 Apr 2018, 11:58

DrPng wrote: ↑
06 Apr 2018, 11:32
Okay, glad you reacted. I feel like you left out a lot of important details to let the reader guess what happened. Which is fine when you do it right, but you didn't here. Instead, it shows a lack of effort and thought.

► Show Spoiler
She can not shoot a gun, but knows how to do it if she could physically do it
Yeah...you did say you know how to do it if you could "physically" do it, not mentally.

As for the emotional part, the real grudge here is:

► Show Spoiler
She will often make friends with the heads, and smart off to any marines that are annoying me.
Synthetics cannot feel emotions so why would she let some smart ass marine get the best of her?

1. I see your point, I did misword that wrong.

2. Synths can only half-way feel emotions, so my synth will only be halfway smart to the marine, only keeping it to a minimum, and will do the more important jobs first, instead of getting caught up in a small fuss with marine that could affect the outcome of her work.

Karmac · Post by **Karmac** » 23 Apr 2018, 05:54

I can't even look at your backstory, I was blinded for the brief moment I had it open but I presume it's bad, your intended playstyle/gimmick/quirk thing is far too overcomplicated in how you've written it, I feel if you'd just written it as your synth tries to be overly happy about everything to try and keep up morale it would've been better than "gosh I'd be real sad if one of them marine fellers died, that'd be just the worst". -1.

Wubs4Scrubs · Post by **Wubs4Scrubs** » 25 Apr 2018, 11:51

Karmac already addressed it, and I really don't mean to sound like an asshole but my god the font colors combined with the white background on your backstory are genuinely painful to look at. I'm not trying to exaggerate to be funny, I mean I had to turn the brightness on my laptop all the way down because I was giving myself eye strain trying to read through it.

I'll address your "quirk" first, and I say "quirk" because it isn't a quirk and instead reads like a poorly written bio like if you examine somebody in game. A synth quirk is a single defining quirk that is meant to make each model unique and give them the illusion of a personality since they aren't human. I can't tell if you grasp that or not because it seems that in the quirk section you're explicitly listing all the things that Susan likes or dislikes, like a USCM dossier. If I had to sum up the problem it's just that you don't have any defining quirk and instead seem to have just described your synths personality, which isn't really something they should have in the first place.

Moving on to addressing your backstory, beyond the font color issues which I already harped on. It's hard to view your story as a proper example of what the synth story should be, since in my eyes the backstory should show how your quirk would manifest during a mock round. I didn't feel that you really had a quirk listed, which kind of defeats the purpose of the backstory. It was also difficult understanding what areas of your story were narration and actual thoughts of your synth since they had the same color, and were often in the same line of the story. As an example

The lights blink back on, with the SMES's blinking with the usual charging status. After a few seconds I hear screaming through the radio... something about an EMP. That is when I realize, that the power was not cut on accident. Susan is immune to EMP's, since she had been preinstalled with a lead inner cover, with protects her against EMPs and radiation.

In that section you have both the synth saying I and other 1st person dialouge but they have a 3rd person description of what Susan's internal components are which made it confusing as to whether it was still Susan thinking or not as they were in the same line and color.

Additionally while your story does have your synth speaking to others (definitely a good thing) it doesn't actually showcase any quirk as previously mentioned. For example in your quirk section you mention that your synth talks back to marines who give her a hard time, but nowhere in the story is that shown.

I appreciate you getting back to me on my maturity comment earlier, however since I haven't been that active on the server I can't attest to whether or not I've personally seen you get more or less mature so hopefully somebody who has seen you in a command role RP'ing in game will leave some feedback for me to look over. However, due to the issues I have with your application such as not having a defined quirk,

-1

I'd recommend that you spend more time getting a unique quirk and playstyle in mind for Susan as it'll not only make it more fun for you to play but also contribute more to others' enjoyment. Something like "my synth is always cheery" is really generic so do your best to think of something outside the box. Also please change the fonts to not be so bright as my eyes might not be able to take any more, good luck!

Lukey111 · Post by **Lukey111** » 25 Apr 2018, 11:59

Wubs4Scrubs wrote: ↑
25 Apr 2018, 11:51
snip

Yeah, I didn't read through it with the colors... I do see the uniqueness issue also... welp, back to the slate!

Lukey111 · Post by **Lukey111** » 26 Apr 2018, 09:04

I'm not going to be able to change the story (If anyone wishes for me to rewrite my story to tie with my quirk, I can brew one up in a few days), so I am changing the quirk up a bit -

Susan is very curious, wanting to find out about anything and everything that catches her eye. She also likes to keep to herself most of the time, getting permission by the appropriate head and going on solo work(ex. "CE, would you like help with the reactors?" "Alright, I'll begin cycling the cells in lower." She will then start her work without talking to anyone unless directly spoken too). You would usually find her on the Almayer assisting medical with chems, refueling the engineering fuel cells, or working in cargo helping to pull crates to the Alamo, or some other light task that comes to mind for her to help with. On occasion, she will be on the ground assisting as a field medic or guide.

Post by **NGGJamie** » 01 May 2018, 10:49

Denied

Lack of positive feedback.

Susan's (Lukey's) Synth App 2#

Susan's (Lukey's) Synth App 2#

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