Byond ID:
Simonset55
Marine Name (so we know who you are; if you play alien mostly, state that here):
Mudder Plantagenet
Name/Designation of the Synth Character you’re requesting to use (Follows common naming rules, and requires a first name with no last name):
Herbert
Are you familiar with the Synthetic Programming and Guidelines (http://www.colonial-marines.com/viewtop ... 57&t=14417)?
Of course I am
Synthetic Character Story (An ADEQUATE description and story of your Synthetics actions and involvement in a previous mission onboard the Almayer):
► Show Spoiler
The captain entered the room, where the four individuals were seated. There was a foul stench of dissatisfaction in the room, some would tell him such a smell does not exist, but he could smell it. Seated from left to right, there was the Chief Engineer, the Chief Medical Officer, the Requisitions Officer and the Squad Leader of Charlie squad. They had all gathered in the captain’s office to voice their complaints about the new synthetic unit, that had recently been given to them as a gift from Weyland-Yutani. The captain sat down across the table of his 4 subordinates, and cleared his throat before giving the first word.
“So… I have heard that you all got some kind of problem with the new robot on board, yes? How about you tell me what happened, so I can get a clear picture of why this robot is so troublesome. You may start, CE.”
“Well, captain, it all started when I was going about my business fixing the engines. The synthetic offered to help me and I gladly accepted. I even asked for it to calculate how long our fuel supply would last, in which it came up with an astonishingly accurate calculation. It had proven to me how useful it was and I was happy. But while we were replacing the wires on the engines, it just said “Did you know, that banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour?”. It was kind of random, and I managed to shock myself when it said it, because it caught me by surprise while I was messing with the wires. I decided to head to the medbay and when I exited the engine room, I heard the robot muttering to itself “A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes”. I gagged a bit thinking about that, and I found it highly unprofessional”
The captain shifted a little in his chair, clearly looking a little weirded out by what the CE had told him, but perhaps it was just some faulty programming in the robot. “Very well, how about you CMO.”
“You see captain; the synth was very useful to me after the recent firing range accident involving alpha squad. I asked for its help and it immediately set upon treating the wounded marines, and it was very efficient at doing so as well. The problem arose when it dragged a marine into an operating theatre, I was observing its surgical procedures, which were all very precise, better than what our best surgeon could ever do. But when it disconnected the marine from the anaesthetics, it told him “Some lions mate over 50 times a day”. Not only did it weird out the marine who started banging at the window, begging for me to let him out. It was also highly inappropriate in this working environment, therefore I asked it to stop. It did stop, but I have a feeling it still does it when I’m not around.
The captain had a blank look in his eyes, his fingers were tapping the table furiously. You could see on his expression that he thought this was a waste of his precious time, he could be flirting with the cute female lieutenants instead of doing this! “Thank you CMO, how about you RO, are you also weirded out by our new robot?”.
“Sir, at the start of one of our operations I got the robot to help me with handing out gear at requisitions. It was doing a fine job, but it did something very distracting every time it would hand out supplies to the marines. For some weird reason, it was stating gorilla facts. Amongst other things it would tell the marines “Did you know that gorillas are famous for picking up frogs and petting them” and “The birth control pills that are used by humans are equally effective in gorillas as well”. It was distracting me from my work at the second desk, and I would have told the synth to shut it, but the marines were laughing their asses off to put it bluntly. I did not wish to be a complete buzzkill, but please make it stop.
The captain had his entire face in his palm, not even looking at the people at his desk. “Listen guys, laughing is good for morale, and you say that the synth was efficient in all the work you put it to. Besides, we can’t return a gift from Wey-Yu, they would see it as an insult. Just learn to deal with it and that’s that, okay? Good.” The captain lifted himself from his chair, but then the Charlie SL interrupted him.
“Sir! I cannot believe what it is I am hearing. These are complaints from your brightest members of staff, and you just ignore their complaints? And your statement that this robot is good for morale is completely untrue! I’ll have you know that when the synth was on overwatch over my squad, it interrupted us while we were eating breakfast in the canteen. We were enjoying the food and company of each other, when suddenly the synth blurted out over our comms “Did you know that there is a town in Canada called “Dildo””. We were all shocked by this random fact that was totally uncalled for, and at least two of my marines started crying after hearing the word Dildo. The canteen that had just been so nice, was now in a complete uproar. Worse yet, delta heard all the ruckus and started laughing at us, then they started beating up some of my boys! It all happened so fast and I heard what sounded like an angry Frenchman getting slapped, and my specia-”
Before the Charlie SL could finish his ranting, the captain started laughing hard, he laughed for a good half a minute before wiping a tear away from his right eye. “You’re pathetic, it’s just a robot doing its job and broadening the minds of our troops with uh, “useful” knowledge while doing so. I want all of you to grow up and get out of my office, now."
When the four people had left his office, the captain heard something from the general comms radio on his wall. “Did you know that approximately 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year!”. Reminded of his toilet accident at an age of 14, the captain shuddered and was about to scold the synth. But he heard the laughter through the radio, the marines enjoyed the fact it had just told them.
The captain walked over to the radio and spoke through the microphone, “Herbert, keep doing what you do, you’re great at it.
The special quirk about my synth is that he will at random state completely unrelated, random facts. Other than that he will be an obedient synth that does what he's asked, aka. a pretty generic synth, since that's what robots pretty much are designed to be. He will display pleasure of getting ordered around and will do it cheerfully, but he can also be serious and professional when ordered to. Don't really know what else to say here
How familiar are you with support roles? (ie; Medical, MT, Science, SO)
I am familiar with all the support roles, although I can understand if you might be a bit skeptic if you've never seen me play them. I mostly play PFC now since it's more fun to kill xenos. Therefore you might not have seen me play any support roles, but you can trust me when I say that I know how to play them 100%. Not like it's hard anyways.
Why should we whitelist you?
I said this in my pred app as well, there is no real reason for you to whitelist me. The only thing I do is play and abide by the rules while not being a complete asshole. If i had the big brain needed to contribute properly, then i probably would. But alas, i can only hope that you will accept me for my good behaviour.
Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason (we will check, and lies may result in immediate denial)?
I have never been banned from CM, nope.
Are you currently banned from any other servers and if so, why?
Not banned anywhere else, nope.
Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or the Synthetic Programming Guideline?
It's common sense, so yeah
