Synthetic MK1-R022 (Ross)

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420MYK
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Synthetic MK1-R022 (Ross)

Post by 420MYK » 18 Dec 2018, 06:01

Byond ID: 420M.Y.K

Marine Name (so we know who you are; if you play alien mostly, state that here): Alice 'Snow' Falkner

Name/Designation of the Synth Character you’re requesting to use (Follows common naming rules, and requires a first name with no last name):

Ross


Are you familiar with the Synthetic Programming and Guidelines (http://www.colonial-marines.com/viewtop ... 57&t=14417)?

Yes i have read it a number of times.

Synthetic Character Story (An ADEQUATE description and story of your Synthetics actions and involvement in a previous mission onboard the Almayer):
► Show Spoiler
How do you intend to play your Synth (as in, describe HOW you will act/play your Synth and what support roles you’ll mainly focus on, what is your synthetics quirk)?

Medical is Ross's preferred and most skilled area. Though as a synth he can fulfill all roles its the role i know through and through with near enough no wiki work (Only for a few chems etc). Engineering I'm much the same just slower and very occasionally need the wiki (machine/computer building). The quirk as you can see in the story. Dad jokes. Every chance and even sometimes when it'll make people say "wait what". Nothing too obtuse and never offensive. He's a very fatherly figure, abit rounder than most synths with a broad warm smile that peers through his synthetic woodsman beard. (Assuming a bearded synth is ok i know its not common or even really heard of). He treats all humans almost like his children. Until his military law protocols kick in then he's straight business. No jokes, No smile, Just nazi bot minus the racism.

How familiar are you with support roles? (ie; Medical, MT, Science, SO)

Very familiar. I know medical through and through in all aspects from groundside medic to surgery. Chems as i said i can be iffy on occasionally but can do them given time. engineering i'm good with. Im a bravo main so have spent more than my fair share of rounds at FOB building, with and without supplies.

Why should we whitelist you?

I think i would make a good synth player because i've been around on the server for quite sometime and have had and played CO and predator white lists for sometime now with no issue. I know game mechanics and tactics well (FOB and such) and look forward to the RP possible from this role. Beyond that i know i wouldn't misuse my synthetic status and would do my best to serve the Alymayer.

Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason (we will check, and lies may result in immediate denial)?

Nope

Are you currently banned from any other servers and if so, why?

Nope none

Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or the Synthetic Programming Guideline?

Yes and agree wholeheartedly
Noxus Poppy is bae.

In game character name:Alice 'Snow' Falkner. Lar'ja H'chak


I may do stupid shit sometimes, but were marines its what we do. Always saving, rarely saved. Piss lead and blow shit up until you die. Rinse and repeat.

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Jakkkk
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Re: Synthetic MK1-R022 (Ross)

Post by Jakkkk » 18 Dec 2018, 06:38

Do you plan on playing a Gen 1 or a Gen 2?
Olaf's dossier: viewtopic.php?f=91&t=16128
Mortimer: viewtopic.php?f=149&t=16195
Xarvis Ut'ur-era: viewtopic.php?f=124&t=17817

Synthetic Council Term One, along with Sleepy Retard and MattAtlas.

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it. Don't wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot black coffee."

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420MYK
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Re: Synthetic MK1-R022 (Ross)

Post by 420MYK » 18 Dec 2018, 06:43

Gen-1 but towards the tail end of the generation lorewise. I figured they would be the more likely to have more "varied" and less aesthetically clean looks than the newer models. hence the more rotund features and beard but with the more human programming unlike alotta the older "working joe" models and such which were quite robotic

Addendum: I heard today that Gen1's may not be able to use over watch consoles and such. If this is the case i have no qualms changing it to a gen-2 seeing as id prefer my synthetic to be able to cover all roles on the ship it might need to
Last edited by 420MYK on 18 Dec 2018, 18:07, edited 1 time in total.
Noxus Poppy is bae.

In game character name:Alice 'Snow' Falkner. Lar'ja H'chak


I may do stupid shit sometimes, but were marines its what we do. Always saving, rarely saved. Piss lead and blow shit up until you die. Rinse and repeat.

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Re: Synthetic MK1-R022 (Ross)

Post by Jakkkk » 18 Dec 2018, 06:49

I'll review this when I get home from work.
Olaf's dossier: viewtopic.php?f=91&t=16128
Mortimer: viewtopic.php?f=149&t=16195
Xarvis Ut'ur-era: viewtopic.php?f=124&t=17817

Synthetic Council Term One, along with Sleepy Retard and MattAtlas.

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it. Don't wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot black coffee."

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Re: Synthetic MK1-R022 (Ross)

Post by Pedroca2lucas » 18 Dec 2018, 08:39

Okay, the way how Ross works is presented by your story, nothing incredible and woah, quite generic but okay.

I really expected to see more about the quirk, I mean, it's a quirk that will require a talkative behavior, you didn't show us much of that, at least for me.

I'll remain neutral for now
Marine: Tony 'Blank' Anders Synth: Yuki Mentor: 11/13/2018 Usually playing as:
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420MYK
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Re: Synthetic MK1-R022 (Ross)

Post by 420MYK » 18 Dec 2018, 08:51

Pedroca2lucas wrote:
18 Dec 2018, 08:39
Okay, the way how Ross works is presented by your story, nothing incredible and woah, quite generic but okay.

I really expected to see more about the quirk, I mean, it's a quirk that will require a talkative behavior, you didn't show us much of that, at least for me.

I'll remain neutral for now
Yea ill admit it's quite a generic story but as it was it started feeling abit long and i didnt want to make it a 7 part series with 9 movies. Which is also why its only focused on the pre-briefing scenario as opposed to a whole operation. I know condensing it that much may work against me but wanted to make a few nods to the IG mechanics and general gameplay that happens early game. charlie and deltas fighting. A reason why at the start of the round a couple of generators are fixed but not all etc.

As for the not so talkative side i agree there. The quirk will require a fair bit more talking than shown in the story and had originally intended to show it more as the story progressed leaving the pre-op stuff as a few nods to it here and there because quite often everyone's busy prepping, doing various jobs etc. I hope it dosen't work against me too much but at the same time do understand if it does
Noxus Poppy is bae.

In game character name:Alice 'Snow' Falkner. Lar'ja H'chak


I may do stupid shit sometimes, but were marines its what we do. Always saving, rarely saved. Piss lead and blow shit up until you die. Rinse and repeat.

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Re: Synthetic MK1-R022 (Ross)

Post by ThesoldierLLJK » 18 Dec 2018, 09:20

The story really didn’t show the quirk off, but a generation 1 type zanebot I don’t have an issue with.

Can you give some examples of some bad dad jokes in the following situation:

A grenade goes off in requisitions

A medical doctor accidentally cuts the head off a patient

A drone gets burned to death by a marine


Also Captain Bill Carson says “KNOCK OFF THE STUPID FUCKING JOKES ROBOT.”

How do you respond?

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420MYK
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Re: Synthetic MK1-R022 (Ross)

Post by 420MYK » 18 Dec 2018, 09:41

*BOOM* *pain "Well he seems to be have an EXPLOSIVE personality" *dad chuckle.

(Not possible anymore BUUUT) "Doctor although i appreciate you wanting to get... aHEAD in your field, please refrain from decapitating marines. Even if it does often increase their IQ"

*REE "*starts humming an ancient tune "burn baby burn disco inferno" (This one actually really stumped me heh)

"KNOCK OFF THE STUPID FUCKING JOKES ROBOT" "Apologies captain" *"walks back up the invisible "stairs"
Noxus Poppy is bae.

In game character name:Alice 'Snow' Falkner. Lar'ja H'chak


I may do stupid shit sometimes, but were marines its what we do. Always saving, rarely saved. Piss lead and blow shit up until you die. Rinse and repeat.

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Re: Synthetic MK1-R022 (Ross)

Post by ThesoldierLLJK » 18 Dec 2018, 10:17

So the story didn’t amaze me but it wasn’t bad per day, but I expected something a bit better from a pred whitelisted player.

That being said I know you can do the support roles as I’ve seen you play everything under the sun in the past.

I think a generation 1 type Zane synth could work

I will reserve my final vote pending more feedback from the community

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420MYK
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Re: Synthetic MK1-R022 (Ross)

Post by 420MYK » 18 Dec 2018, 18:05

ThesoldierLLJK wrote:
18 Dec 2018, 10:17
So the story didn’t amaze me but it wasn’t bad per day, but I expected something a bit better from a pred whitelisted player.

That being said I know you can do the support roles as I’ve seen you play everything under the sun in the past.

I think a generation 1 type Zane synth could work

I will reserve my final vote pending more feedback from the community
Fair enough friendo no problem at all with that.
Noxus Poppy is bae.

In game character name:Alice 'Snow' Falkner. Lar'ja H'chak


I may do stupid shit sometimes, but were marines its what we do. Always saving, rarely saved. Piss lead and blow shit up until you die. Rinse and repeat.

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Re: Synthetic MK1-R022 (Ross)

Post by SolubleWhenWet » 19 Dec 2018, 11:56

I definitely can speak for your competence as I've seen you in a variety of roles, and I never dread to see you. Secondly, your story: its a little concerning to see you so quick to be robocop in it, since you shouldn't be seeking out conflict. Your quirk is refreshing, though it might be tiresome to come up with dad jokes every round, some may even find it annoying. Finally, lets say the Captain orders you to do something pointless and trivial, like get him a beer from his office, or play DND with him; how would Ross deal with this request?
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MattAtlas
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Re: Synthetic MK1-R022 (Ross)

Post by MattAtlas » 19 Dec 2018, 12:36

I don't really like jokebots but I don't have much of a reason to -1 your app because of it.

The story's decent, it does the job and the quirk is a valid one, albeit bland. I'm going to stay on a neutral leaning to +1 now purely because you're a pred player and not a shitter.
I'm part of the Synthetic Council with ThesoldierLLJK and Jakkkk. Feel free to DM me on the forums or Discord (Matt#5881) if you have any questions about synths.

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Re: Synthetic MK1-R022 (Ross)

Post by Sleepy Retard » 19 Dec 2018, 12:47

I really don't like how you didn't put any effort into rereading your story, and correcting any obvious grammar/formatting errors.

Really, the whole story is just horribly written. It's not Adralimas level, but it's definitely of poor quality overall. The content is fine, but the grammar, formatting, pacing is just real off
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Re: Synthetic MK1-R022 (Ross)

Post by 420MYK » 19 Dec 2018, 18:21

SolubleWhenWet wrote:
19 Dec 2018, 11:56
I definitely can speak for your competence as I've seen you in a variety of roles, and I never dread to see you. Secondly, your story: its a little concerning to see you so quick to be robocop in it, since you shouldn't be seeking out conflict. Your quirk is refreshing, though it might be tiresome to come up with dad jokes every round, some may even find it annoying. Finally, lets say the Captain orders you to do something pointless and trivial, like get him a beer from his office, or play DND with him; how would Ross deal with this request?
The point of the robocop story was more to show the ability synths have with military law and arresting (A few people ive met seem to think they straight up cant) and to help set up the next scene with the surgery, Also part of the reason i wasn't more descriptive in that part with the confrontation. As for what Ross would do in those situations, No task is to simple or below his worth he would follow through with the order. Possibly questioning the captain on the fourth beer and slurred words, a father dosen't want his "children" dying of liver failure. DnD he would quite happily DM for the captain assuming it didn't cause the CO to fall into the bounds of NoD (IE no other commanding staff/XO to take over.)
Sleepy Retard wrote:
19 Dec 2018, 12:47
I really don't like how you didn't put any effort into rereading your story, and correcting any obvious grammar/formatting errors.

Really, the whole story is just horribly written. It's not Adralimas level, but it's definitely of poor quality overall. The content is fine, but the grammar, formatting, pacing is just real off
Yea ill admit its not my best piece of writing by any means. And my final editing was apparently a mistake to do at 2am, Not my proudest work by any means but ill stand by it until denial and try again in a few months if that's where this application ends up.
Noxus Poppy is bae.

In game character name:Alice 'Snow' Falkner. Lar'ja H'chak


I may do stupid shit sometimes, but were marines its what we do. Always saving, rarely saved. Piss lead and blow shit up until you die. Rinse and repeat.

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Re: Synthetic MK1-R022 (Ross)

Post by Jakkkk » 20 Dec 2018, 03:35

All I can say about this application is that it accomplishes nothing new, and is the bare minimum for a synthetic application.

It's very underwhelming, especially from someone who's whitelisted for pred. I'm gonna put my -1 on this just because I know you can do better, and this level of spelling and grammar isn't something I want a synthetic on the whitelist to have.

There isn't anything technically wrong with the application, I just won't accept this level of work from someone like you MVP.
Olaf's dossier: viewtopic.php?f=91&t=16128
Mortimer: viewtopic.php?f=149&t=16195
Xarvis Ut'ur-era: viewtopic.php?f=124&t=17817

Synthetic Council Term One, along with Sleepy Retard and MattAtlas.

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it. Don't wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot black coffee."

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Re: Synthetic MK1-R022 (Ross)

Post by ThesoldierLLJK » 20 Dec 2018, 09:20

I don't have a problem with the Type 1 dad joke telling.

I do have a problem with a moderator giving a half-assed story especially one that had a really good pred application. If your synth and quirk were very unique, I would overlook the "meh" aspect of the actual story without issue.
But seeing it's a generic synth, and you yourself admit you didn't put your best effort into it.

It's a no from me boss, sorry.
-1

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Re: Synthetic MK1-R022 (Ross)

Post by MattAtlas » 20 Dec 2018, 09:53

Yeah I'm gonna have to agree with Jakkkk and Soldier here. Don't think I want bare minimum synths.

-1
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Re: Synthetic MK1-R022 (Ross)

Post by Pedroca2lucas » 20 Dec 2018, 10:28

I'll be following the council here, mate. You can do better, moving from neutral to -1
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Re: Synthetic MK1-R022 (Ross)

Post by Solarmare » 20 Dec 2018, 16:02

How much effort you out into it is how much it means to you I suppose. Nothing particularly wrong in the app other than the story, which is what drops the ball here when it should be displaying what you do as a synth. I'll just follow the council's -1s here, you can show more of the quirk in the story in the future to show you have a clear idea of how to do what you're trying with it.
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Re: Synthetic MK1-R022 (Ross)

Post by 420MYK » 20 Dec 2018, 16:36

Thats fair enough everyone, Im the first person to put my hand up when i mess something up. A short story mixed with 2am editing seems to have failed me this time. Councils cast their votes so thats that. Not that i didn't put effort in at all but i do freely admit that its not as good as my other two WL apps and other previous writings of mine.

Back to the writing board then and ill see you guys in two months. Thanks for the criticisms and infos everyone, Ill do better next time and get it next year
Noxus Poppy is bae.

In game character name:Alice 'Snow' Falkner. Lar'ja H'chak


I may do stupid shit sometimes, but were marines its what we do. Always saving, rarely saved. Piss lead and blow shit up until you die. Rinse and repeat.

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Re: Synthetic MK1-R022 (Ross)

Post by Emeraldblood » 20 Dec 2018, 18:32

I'd suggest you try to refine the story and maybe the quirk over the next two months. Don't think there's really anything I can say that you don't know already. As long as you put the effort into it, I'm sure your next app will be able to live up the standards set.

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