What's the funniest moment of Command/MP incompetence you have ever witnessed?

[Crab_Spider]

Per title. Yes, John "Buckshot" Rhodes is allowed to be the butt of the jokes. No, MPs in general are not incompetent. This isn't meant to shit on Commanders or be used as a crutch as to why you hate them, if that's the case, you should find your own opinions and scram.

[Sarah_U.]

Ho my.

[Monoo]

Ho my.

it was from he re they were borned

[Crab_Spider]

Goddammit guys!

[Sargeantmuffinman]

Baldie CO: Ahelp: Please don't tell the marines about my bald nature.

[slc97]

I was observing a round, and Snypehunter was observing as well. He had been communicating with command as a "Rear Admiral" from the "U.S.S This Side Up". So I came on the command announcements as my normal admiral, Jerric Baldwin, and informed the Sulaco that we did not have a rank of rear admiral nor a ship with that name.

Then, I sent Snype back to the lobby since he had been o serving all round, and had him spawn as his character. I then announced that Korean hackers had infiltrated the USCM communications relay and that the signal was coming on board the ship. I gave Snype a few minutes to gear up and told him he could fight back, but only non-lethally.

I announced his position and that he was the haxker, and told the MPs that they needed to arrest him at all costs. So being the hardcore, trained individuals they are, they hunted him down with a fury unlike any you've seen before. They found him pretty quickly. Then they proceeded to taze him one time and walk away.

That was the day my faith in MPs died.

[TheMusician321]

That one MP who Karmac managed to beat up who happened to have a taser, cuffs, flashes and a pepper spray...and Karmac still beat the shit out of him.

[Crab_Spider]

That one MP who Karmac managed to beat up who happened to have a taser, cuffs, flashes and a pepper spray...and Karmac still beat the shit out of him.

Who was this dumbass? Was he killed? Did the CO execute him?

[TheMusician321]

Who was this dumbass? Was he killed? Did the CO execute him?

No idea, can't remember as the round ended shortly afterwards, also the MP tried to fight back using, of all things a pistol and just missed ALL of the shots except one which hit a late joiner who walked out of cryo, to which Karmac proceeded to beat into crit.

[Renomaki]

To me, whenever the commander decides that doing a briefing over announcement and not even bothering to see his men face to face before sending them on their way is a shameful display that makes me sick...

That, and a certain commander who lately has been trying way to hard to become the next Bill Carson. Seriously, we don't need more meme commanders, we need respectable leaders who don't cause riots at round start due to their name being announced at round start.

[apophis775]

Day before yesterday or so
A single researcher managed to fight his was across the sulaco with nothing but a pistol and a few rounds against an alien horde to the bridge. Mps opened the door and ran out to fight the encroaching aliens. He slowly moved into the bridge, and was hit by the ONLY SHOT the commander fired ever. It hit him in the head and killed him.

I giggled for like a whole day.

[LocalizedDownpour]

Best moment for me was when @renomaki incorrectly offset as the CO and literally obliterated the triage area killing like twenty Marines.

He earned the nickname Orbital that day. Kaipov can hang it up. I smile to this day thinking about it.

[Renomaki]

Best moment for me was when @renomaki incorrectly offset as the CO and literally obliterated the triage area killing like twenty Marines.

He earned the nickname Orbital that day. Kaipov can hang it up. I smile to this day thinking about it.

To you, funny, but to me, the greatest of shames that I still prefer to forget. It was a very embarrassing night that I wasn't proud of.

At least on the bright side, we ended up winning that round, which was a miracle if I ever saw one.

[Supermichael777]

Every Marine killed by FF is a marine that doesn't get hugged. With the easy prey gone alien growth was probably crippled.

Every time I see a frontal assault of the caves IO die a little inside before the baldie medic in charlie shoots me full auto in the back. What peeves me off more is that its acceptable for field medics to be loitering around med-bay half the round after they drag 5 dudes onto the shuttle. several rounds I have had more medics in the med-bay then patients. Commanders get so tunneled in on the ground they forget to order people to get back to work.

[Crab_Spider]

Every Marine killed by FF is a marine that doesn't get hugged. With the easy prey gone alien growth was probably crippled.

Every time I see a frontal assault of the caves IO die a little inside before the baldie medic in charlie shoots me full auto in the back. What peeves me off more is that its acceptable for field medics to be loitering around med-bay half the round after they drag 5 dudes onto the shuttle. several rounds I have had more medics in the med-bay then patients. Commanders get so tunneled in on the ground they forget to order people to get back to work.

I don't honk you're in the right thread

[Desolane900]

There were the countless times I would disarm an MP of his baton or taser then beat him to an inch of his stunned life, cuff him, and dump him into disposals.

Not sure if it was incompetence though seeing as how I'm me. You can't stop the Saul train, baby.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2k4X2PfgRb0

[Crab_Spider]

There were the countless times I would disarm an MP of his baton or taser then beat him to an inch of his stunned life, cuff him, and dump him into disposals.

Not sure if it was incompetence though seeing as how I'm me. You can't stop the Saul train, baby.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2k4X2PfgRb0

It's pretty evident you're banned

[Skane10634]

Day before yesterday or so
A single researcher managed to fight his was across the sulaco with nothing but a pistol and a few rounds against an alien horde to the bridge. Mps opened the door and ran out to fight the encroaching aliens. He slowly moved into the bridge, and was hit by the ONLY SHOT the commander fired ever. It hit him in the head and killed him.

I giggled for like a whole day.

Pretty sure that was me, the researcher.

[Aeleto]

Throwing Noah to a bunch of baldie MPs and see them abuse his ass until he ragequitted. Laughed the whole time in the round.

[Youbar]

I was in a round where we had a baldie for a commander. The Executive Officer immediately took up leadership, and directed marine efforts on the ground. After a back and forth struggle, the marines pushed into the caves, and began to finish off the last of the aliens, the Executive Officer seperating the squads into different areas of the caves for search and elimination.
The commander, completely bewildered, and likely having no idea of the situation on the ground, made an announcement.

That was it. There was no message after that, he simply wanted to announce his presence to the entire server. A few seconds pass by, marines expressing their disgruntled attitude towards him, but otherwise praising command.

Abruptly, this pops up. A marine major victory, with a sizeable amount of manpower still left. This wasn't a pyrrhic victory. Immediately, the commander steps onto this end of round result, and claims responsibility, with a very simple message.

The commander never communicated with anybody other than through these ridiculous, and largely directionless announcements, and yet, he still came out of the round feeling like he accomplished something. This is the type of person I don't feel angry at, but rather, amused. They're totally clueless, and I love them for that.

[Snypehunter007]

I was observing a round, and Snypehunter was observing as well. He had been communicating with command as a "Rear Admiral" from the "U.S.S This Side Up". So I came on the command announcements as my normal admiral, Jerric Baldwin, and informed the Sulaco that we did not have a rank of rear admiral nor a ship with that name.

Then, I sent Snype back to the lobby since he had been o serving all round, and had him spawn as his character. I then announced that Korean hackers had infiltrated the USCM communications relay and that the signal was coming on board the ship. I gave Snype a few minutes to gear up and told him he could fight back, but only non-lethally.

I announced his position and that he was the haxker, and told the MPs that they needed to arrest him at all costs. So being the hardcore, trained individuals they are, they hunted him down with a fury unlike any you've seen before. They found him pretty quickly. Then they proceeded to taze him one time and walk away.

That was the day my faith in MPs died.

Let's not forget I managed to somehow, in a rare display of robustness, Dodge around them from the cafeteria to the bridge, stopping at medical and the brig, before looping back and them FINALLY taking me down in briefing.

I think the MPs words were something like "Stop goofing around and get a weapon." I even had a weapon on me. It was pretty pathetic if I am managing to outrun and Dodge you.

[Crab_Spider]

Let's not forget I managed to somehow, in a rare display of robustness, Dodge around them from the cafeteria to the bridge, stopping at medical and the brig, before looping back and them FINALLY taking me down in briefing.

I think the MPs words were something like "Stop goofing around and get a weapon." I even had a weapon on me. It was pretty pathetic if I am managing to outrun and Dodge you.

Don't worry sir it won't happen again! I'll ban my sister from using my computer next time.

[NoahKirchner]

Throwing Noah to a bunch of baldie MPs and see them abuse his ass until he ragequitted. Laughed the whole time in the round.

Almost every bone in my body was broken because they harmbatonned for a 5 minute brig sentence for like trespassing or something

[Halinder]

The other day as a survivor, I greeted the marines by shooting myself in the head, instantly decapitating myself after throwing a factsheet about the aliens at the feet of the squad leader.

I didn't expect to be able to rejoin the round, but the doctors actually managed to piece my head back to my body and clone me. This would be fine if they actually explained what was going on, instead of me, a survivor who only remembers being on a colony full of xenos, waking up naked in a sleeper with two people staring at me (a doctor and the CL).

Naturally, I did the only thing I thought was proper and punched the doctor in the face before booking it to medbay's exit, still naked, still very badly brain-damaged. The CL came after me but I pulled an oxygen tank from a fire closet and threw it at him to get him to reconsider. After that I was running away from the CL, much slower than him as well as half-blind, through the Sulaco. At first I hid in maintenance and piled boxes by the door, but that gave the CL time to call an MP who immediately started pulling boxes away to tase me.

Now the guy wasn't exactly unintelligent -- he was just really, /really/ unrobust. I managed to disarm the taser out of his hands, dodge around him, get to the main ladders, and get all the way to the CL's office before I even saw the MP again. Then just as he was about to actually get into the room, I closed the shutters on his face. Unfortunately the CL let the MP into his office through maint, resulting in the MP frantically trying to tase/stunbaton me before giving up after getting disarmed 4 times -- 4 times, mind you, in a timespan that still allowed me to slip through the still-open maintenance door. It got so bad that the CL gave up entirely on a non-lethal takedown and shot me three times with his pistol before letting the MP handle the rest of it, since brain damage + near crit = yeah fucking right I'm gonna escape.

For all of that I got a resisting arrest sentence.

[NoahKirchner]

The other day as a survivor, I greeted the marines by shooting myself in the head, instantly decapitating myself after throwing a factsheet about the aliens at the feet of the squad leader.

I didn't expect to be able to rejoin the round, but the doctors actually managed to piece my head back to my body and clone me. This would be fine if they actually explained what was going on, instead of me, a survivor who only remembers being on a colony full of xenos, waking up naked in a sleeper with two people staring at me (a doctor and the CL).

Naturally, I did the only thing I thought was proper and punched the doctor in the face before booking it to medbay's exit, still naked, still very badly brain-damaged. The CL came after me but I pulled an oxygen tank from a fire closet and threw it at him to get him to reconsider. After that I was running away from the CL, much slower than him as well as half-blind, through the Sulaco. At first I hid in maintenance and piled boxes by the door, but that gave the CL time to call an MP who immediately started pulling boxes away to tase me.

Now the guy wasn't exactly unintelligent -- he was just really, /really/ unrobust. I managed to disarm the taser out of his hands, dodge around him, get to the main ladders, and get all the way to the CL's office before I even saw the MP again. Then just as he was about to actually get into the room, I closed the shutters on his face. Unfortunately the CL let the MP into his office through maint, resulting in the MP frantically trying to tase/stunbaton me before giving up after getting disarmed 4 times -- 4 times, mind you, in a timespan that still allowed me to slip through the still-open maintenance door. It got so bad that the CL gave up entirely on a non-lethal takedown and shot me three times with his pistol before letting the MP handle the rest of it, since brain damage + near crit = yeah fucking right I'm gonna escape.

For all of that I got a resisting arrest sentence.

I was the SL you shot yourself in the face infront of, and the one who got the paper c: