Murphy's marine laws.

[Derpislav]

Props to Sergeant Muffin for bringing this up on the chatbox.


"If you can't see any xenos - they all see you"
"If you see a xeno, so do three of his angry, bigger sisters"
"Orbital Strike is only to be used for honorable suicides"
"If you want to use it for something different, the cannons are still cooling down after the last honorable suicide"
"Safe distance - isn't"
"Danger close - is"
"It takes three lobs to get a grenade where you want it in the xeno nest. It takes one neuro spit for the grenade to end up in the exact middle of your squad"
"Do not trust a medic to patch you up, an engineer to fortify you, SL to lead you, RO to resupply you - when in dire need of these, seek the humblest looking standard marine around. He will do surgery on you while electrifying the entire FOB wall while assigning men to posts while dropping 50 mags from his backpack"
"Field medics get nervous and distracted in the field. Field engineers even more. It's the Sulaco doctors and technicians that will work in the middle of the firefight unaffected by it"
"Sulaco doctors and technicians get fired at twice as often as their field counterparts. Same goes for bridge officers and squad leaders"
"Most of friendly fire happens before deployment"

[Jeser]

If you take your helmet off, you will be shot immediately by some wild bullet.
If you'll make electrified grill, first one who will be shocked by it is your fellow marine.
If you successfully dodged three praetorians' spits, you will be put down by first tackle of a drone (that was one really unlucky round).

[apophis775]

"There's no such thing as "friendly" fire" - US Infantry Manual
"Assumption is the mother of all fuckups" - Us Army Military Intelligence Manual Preface

[1262]

"The amount of wounds you've sustained is inversely proportional to the likeness of receiving help"
"The amount of wounds you've sustained is directly proportional to the amount of marines who suddenly want to drag you away from the medic"

[Sargeantmuffinman]

Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to face hug or slash.

If your hive assault is going really well, it's an ambush.

Three second fuses always burn one second when lag nation comes around.

If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.

Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up ambushed.

The marines doesn't always come to the rescue.

Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.

Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.

Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you can miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn. Either way you will miss.

The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.

Orbital bombardment always falls short.

The perfect officer for the job will have an incompetent squad. (Proven and is accurate)

The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance.

If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, the xenos will always find a weak point.

The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight or anything similar) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.

Yeah I got more.................I'll add it later.

[Darknova]

"The promise of "No marine gets left behind", never reaches the thick insulating walls of a Xeno nest"
"Throw a grenade at the three second mark and you're considered a trained marine. Wait any longer and space lag claims yet another hand"
"Pain may be a weakness leaving the body, but a xeno larva is not considered in that category"
"Supply drops - don't"
"Running out of ammo is more likely than a shuttle pick-up"
"The super matter core is more dangerous than any xeno"
"Take a marine ration with you on patrols. it may be your last"

That's all I can think of off the top of my head.

[Sargeantmuffinman]

Walking point = Xeno bait.

No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.

The only time suppressing fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions and defending FOBS.

The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to nab and face hug.

The Requisition officer has only a few kinds: out of stock, in transit and "we're out of supply points."

There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.

Five rounds left in the magazine is like using your hand as a gun.

When in a fire fight, kill as many as you can, the one you miss may not miss in half (presumably half) an hour.

Never screw over a buddy; you'll never know when he could save your life.

It is a physical impossibility to carry too much ammo.

There is no such thing as too much ammo but there is a thing called wasting ammo.

Avoid being alone out on the planet, there are a few silent killers and aliens out there.

Just because you have nearly impenetrable body armor and a hard-ass B18 helmet, doesn't mean you don't have exposed areas.

There are few times when the enemy can't see you: When he's dead, you're dead, or both.
Addendum: When he's not there, when you're not there, or both.

Never cover a dead body with your own in hopes of looking like you're one of the casualties. Even using his cadaver is a stretch to avoid being face hugged/slashed or nested "just in case."
(Unless you want to reverse chest bust then go ahead die in the acidic bowels of an xenomorph.)

You are not Rambo or Superman:Marines and all combat personnel take note.

Don't be a hero.

Cover your Buddy, so he can be around to cover for you.

Three things you will never see in combat; hidden huggers, everything properly setup and defended, a successful orbital bombardment.

Sometimes, being robust and lucky still is not enough.

If you are wearing body armor they will probably miss that part.

Medals are OK, but having your body and all your friends in one piece at the end of the day is better.

C-4 Plastic explosives can make a dull day fun.

Being shot hurts. Being shot by friendlies in the head is a lot worse.

Having all your body parts intact and functioning at the end of the day beats the alternative...

All or any of the above combined.

More will be on the way someday..............

[Jeser]

The Requisition officer has only a few kinds: out of stock,in transit and "we're out of supply points."

It isn't true if I'm an RO.

Don't be a hero.

I want so-o bad more marines will learn that...

But, it's, kinda, not more Murphy's Laws.

[Evilkyle24]

If someone is behind you, they WILL shoot you in the back.
If someone is behind you and your helmet is off, the shot will always hit your head.
If someone is at all in front of you of you, they will always run directly in front of you the moment you shoot.
Grenades will always miss their target.
The odds of grenades missing their target is directly proportional to the odds of it going off in the middle of your squad.
The moment you prime a grenade, everyone will run in front of you.

[Derpislav]

If something can go wrong, command will make it even worse.
Do not underestimate command's incompetence, they like challenges.

[Sargeantmuffinman]

So you guys like my laws?

[Gentlefood]

If RNG decides if you will drop something due to damaged mechanical hands, you will never drop something unimportant but you will always drop something life threateningly important. Examples that include but are not limited to: Primed Grenades, Orbital Beacon, Guns of all shapes and sizes, and much more.

[Sargeantmuffinman]

The success of a marine squad is directly proportional to how competent they are at ALL combat situations.

[Evilkyle24]

If you give an order to the marine force, less than fifty percent will actually follow it.

[Dreviore]

If your assigned 'looking for survivors' chances are your squads about to be wiped out.

If you survived being wiped out, you will be shortly.

And uh...

If you're running down a tight corridor without help intent on It's likely someone is going to shoot you in the foot.

[Jeser]

If there is full packed Bravo and Commander assigns on FoB duty not Bravo, you'll have bad time.