Funny, Embarrassing, and General OMG Moments

[Rustarus]

Well fuck.

[Swagile]

That was me, the CO, that made that announcement. Was trying out a new approach at CO that round.

[Rustarus]

That was me, the CO, that made that announcement. Was trying out a new approach at CO that round.

Look closer, and you'll see the pipe dispenser. Look even closer, you can see what the XO said to the MT....

[Crab_Spider]

I don't see it...

[Rustarus]

Fucking hell, the XO said pipes down, and the MT brought a fucking pipe dispenser to briefing. Jesus you guys suck at understanding jokes .-.

[Tidomann]

So.... I am an engineer for Delta, right? We were sent out to make an FOB at secure storage. We were ordered to blow in from the west, and I did... wasting 3 plastic explosives because I am retarded and hit the safe too. So, we make it in. I announced that we were in on the Delta and general comms, right? Not even a minute later, *BOOM* from the fucking east side. I go over to see the other fucking engineer, and the SL and half the fucking squad breaking in... from the east.... not only is that a HORRIBLE place to guard, but also we ehm... soooorta got orders to fucking blow in from the west?!?! I instantly patch the hole calling each and everyone one that walked in brainless cunts. I want the FOB to be centered on one way in, from the west, as orders said, and not only that but because it would make it way more secure. I'm pretty pissed off at this point... annnnnd *BOOM* the fucking north side gets one wall torn down. I.... I was seriously fucking pissed at this point.

So, I go up to see the retarded alpha engie, blowing just one fucking wall, about to place the second plastic explosive. I stop him, and say what the FUCK are you doing?!? In his defense, he started bitching how "How are the injured going to get out?!?!" and "Make one good point why you think that there should only be one entrance" so I continue to say that we can focus all our defenses on one area instead of spreading them out COMPLETELY, and not having the fucking lizards break in from just the first barrier. We would have more of a fall back point if we could just defend the area with one entrance. I walk away, making him pissed... and then *BOOM* THE FUCKING ENGIE BLOWS UP THE SECOND FUCKING WALL! At this point I had e-fucking-nough. Like, you do not understand how pissed I am. I patch up the holes, the fucking engineer continuing to insult me, and then he fucking starts taking the wall apart. At this point I just want to leave him there, it was like talking to a brick fucking wall.

I wanted to watch the FOB fail, and he just... starts welding away at the wall then just gives up, maybe he finally understood what I meant by ONE FUCKING BARRICADE FALLING AND THE FOB IS GONE! Besides, we already had defenses up behind that, and just leaving it... with a hole down the center would just ruin the fucking FOB. Then, over the comms, after arguing with the retarded fucking engineer for a good five minutes the fucking squad leader starts complaining that he wants THREE TABLES FOR SOME REASON!?!? He continues to act like a hardass, insulting me, and I fucking go out and ask him where he wants them. He just fucking stands there ignoring me, and then when I walk away he fucking starts insulting me again. At this point i'm on the verge of fucking quitting. Like, Jesus fuck. So I get his special fucking tables, and throw them at him. And he places them in a fucking corner for some reason, no idea why he even wanted them. Then, I hear a hiss up north, near the vines. Now there are sandbags there, so... of course I feel safe. Sorta. I saw nothing there, so I go and investigate with my shotgun, still behind the barricades, with 4 marines watching, right? Nothing bad could happen! I get tackled and fucking slashed. Now there are five marines, about at least, fucking watching me getting slashed. It takes me to say "HELP!?!?" For them to even move. Like, holy fuck, I am dead serious. This one guy had a fucking pulse rifle in his hands and was just standing there. By the time they got off their lazy asses, the fucking first person that I saw that was actually sane just said "You guys are fucking useless" to the people that were standing there.

I fucking quit after that. I got defibbed 5 times but I was fucking done. I didn't wanna join back. This was not only my saltiest moment, but now I have a fucking guy, that I decided to call a dipshit as a survivor one time, meta grudge against me and legit insult me like... "I hope your head gets blown off" ICLY.

Yes, I typed a whole lot here. Yes, I have no life.

This is almost nickname worthy. The SL should be called Tablehead.

[SagaSword]

You know you're on CM too much when...

[GoliathTheDespoiler]

>Be Deltard SL
>Ice colony
>Moved north to engy with squad to restore power
>Ayy lmao.jpg
>Queen shows up
>Book it back to LZ1 and fobfort till the end of time
>Return to almayer after obviously expected defeat
>RP as a PTSD sufferer who wanted to evac
>Grab revolver and start chanting bible shit into the radio
>Get into cic, hold XO at gunpoint and order them to start evac
>Charlie SL tries to stop me, disarms me after I shot my PFC
>I whip out flamethrower as backup gun
>Disarm misfires, sets two people on fire
>Get gunned down, but survive
>Eventually killed by ayys

[Rustarus]

One day, I was a PO about... a day after the POs got their new cockpit and guns and shit. So basically towards the end of the round, the PO comes up, when I was trying to get a new sentry. I was the DS1 pilot. So, it turns out that my co-pilot left a shit ton of people back there, soooo... we sorta went back down. I open the pilot door expecting... people flooding in because I could hear gunshots, but instead the.... elite empress and a hunter gets in. Now, by the time, I fucking rushed back into the cockpit and closed the door, and they both come rushing in. I fucking pull out my shotgun and shoot as much as I can with the fucking queen right besides me. By this time I fired 4-5 BUCKSHOT INTO HER POINT BLANK, and fall, after being slashed 3 times by the queen. All of the sudden, the co-pilot shoots the empress one time with her mod and as I am in a crit, dying... I hear the empress die... it was amazing. We both died, and all of the sudden the marines fucking rush in as fast as they can. They are surrounded by xenos. We are both dead with the fucking hunter still in the cockpit, and only like... 6 marines are inside the dropship defending all sides. The cockpit is locked, and the queen disabled remote control so command could not send it up. The final fucking engineer that was in the DS, hacked into the cockpit, got pounced by a hunter, which was killed shortly after. Then, they got the FUCK outta there. It was an amazing moment, the queen was dead via 2 POs! Wow! It was later called back down again by a new queen and then the round was lost. The end.

[Stripetail]

Be me, choose Researcher and start creating H20/Potassium grenades. Invite another person into research to chat about the creation, don't notice that you accidentally activate the 10 second timer while chatting with the other doctor/scientist. In mid conversation chuck grenade against the far wall of research where it immediately explodes and destroys half of the department.

Try to play it cool as SO's MT's and MP's all rush into research and scold you for creating explosives without permission.

[SagaSword]

STOP FUCKING POSTING A WALL OF TEXT! IF YOU DON'T HAVE A PICTURE GET TEH FUHUHUK OUTTA 'ERE YOU DEGENERATES!

[spartanbobby]

[Rustarus]

STOP FUCKING POSTING A WALL OF TEXT! IF YOU DON'T HAVE A PICTURE GET TEH FUHUHUK OUTTA 'ERE YOU DEGENERATES!

No.

[SagaSword]

No.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nG5wsIdXcjs

[Crab_Spider]

If you're going to wall of text, fucking make a shitty MS Paint representation of it at least so we'll have something to be amused by.

[SagaSword]

If you're going to wall of text, fucking make a shitty MS Paint representation of it at least so we'll have something to be amused by.

'Nuff said.

[StephenNelson]

I was an SO earlier today and since there were 5 of us I got sent down to LZ1 to check things out and help the marines kill off the last 5 xenos. I'm pushing with marines East of medbay and have shot the queen, her boiler, and a crusher a good number of times. I even dodged a crusher stomp. After juking the crusher like a pro I get headshotted and insta decapped by a sniper. FF really is magical.

[Pictish20]

A day or two ago, I was the CL. I had a survivor with me, and somehow a runner got aboard the ship. This survivor's RPing as a paranoid survivor and whatnot, so I'm trying to calm their character down. "It'll be fine." And so on. Not ten seconds after I said that, the aforementioned runner breaks into the office and kills us both. Funny stuff.

[PeLokChoc]

That moment when every of your deaths was contributed by Crushers <3

[Kernir]

Death by runner usually is the worst for me, especially if it happens in the FOB as I'm trying to treat someone.

[PeLokChoc]

Death by runner usually is the worst for me, especially if it happens in the FOB as I'm trying to treat someone.

At least you still have a more honorable death than me. One time i was carrying a wounded Mehrin back to the LZ 1 when suddendly, a wild Crusher appeared and charge to us. I am the only one got crushed by that Ravager while my Deltard fellow Mehrin just watched helplessly on the rollerbed

[Rustarus]

Death by runner usually is the worst for me, especially if it happens in the FOB as I'm trying to treat someone.

Death by spitters is the worst, and always gets me. They can fucking shoot every like... 0.5 seconds, one time on LV I got fucked by a prae and a spitter because they just spammed spit at me. Didn't slash me once.

[SagaSword]

Called tehspooderman "Oddshit". Was fun can confirm. It's always nice to shit on cancer...

Wait...

[TehSpoderman]

Called tehspooderman "Oddshit". Was fun can confirm. It's always nice to shit on cancer...

Wait...

swear to yeezy call me oddshit again and ur getting the P I M P S L A P

[SagaSword]

swear to yeezy call me oddshit again and ur getting the P I M P S L A P

Challenge accepted. OddShit!