Funny, Embarrassing, and General OMG Moments

[coroneljones]

Found this on reddit

[Sargeantmuffinman]

Was that from the first round yesterday?

[Siserith Vassada]

thats awesome

[Surrealistik]

Yeah; it's a screencap I took yesterday. Corresponding reddit thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/SS13/comments/ ... l_marines/

[Feweh]

So it was my first time as Corporate Liason and I am ready to be a piece of shit human being. I put on my eyepatch and go about my business.

The round starts really slow and there is no commander, and I download a pAI named SARGE. I found a marine who was SSD and stole all of his clothes and his ID. While I'm stripping him by the pods a marine happens upon me. I say "I can explain." But he just shrugs and walks away from the very incriminating scene. I throw on the marine's gear, along with a gasmask and his ID and I stow my gear in a locker.

Now for the whole point of my mission: getting a silencer for my pistol, but I didn't want to look sketchy as fuck. So I walk up to the RO desk, have SARGE do all the talking and I order a silencer all while disguised as a marine and not saying a word.

I honestly can't believe that worked.

Wait, why did this guy do anything like this at all? This is the exact opposite of what youre supposed to do as liaison? Steal gear, grab weapons and a silencer?

Jesus, this is another job that needs whitelist/time lock to kick in for.

[UnknownMurder]

It will be whitelisted soon enough.

[LordeKilly]

[Sargeantmuffinman]

Yeah; it's a screencap I took yesterday. Corresponding reddit thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/SS13/comments/ ... l_marines/

I dodged a fucking bomb by going SSD.

[UnknownMurder]

I start "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?" song... SAS says it's shit and tells me his is better.


Player tells SAS, no one likes his Midi.


Everyone loving "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?"


Some player explains it to him.


Afterwards, SAS is not found on the scene anymore.

EDIT:

[Sargeantmuffinman]

From this.





To this.

(I know this is to be in oh fuck moments but we had a FULL SHUTTLE!.)

[Mitchs98]

http://gyazo.com/ef9da3b2c58aa938ef25f272b00f519d

That's right science nerds, i jacked your tug!

[johners12345]

Nitrogen: 79% (5.22357e+012 moles)
Carbon Dioxide: 0% (4.51564e+007 moles)
Temperature: 20°C
Heat Capacity: 6.77082e+016
Everything kept bouncing off the walls, Like a fucking train line as they moved

[Surrealistik]

I'd like to clarify a couple of things about my earlier bombing, since there appears to have been some confusion as to what happened:

#1: There were five 120/120 water potassium bombs evenly distributed throughout the main shuttle bay. Four of those were positioned by the windows and main exits as you can see by the blast pattern. The fifth one was placed between the two window bombs, where the central passenger area would be.

#2: Two additional bombs were placed under a medikit and health analyzer in the small shuttle to conceal them. They were set to the same detonation frequency and code as the five bombs in the main shuttle bay.

#3: Contrary to various claims made, at no point did I intend to 'bug' or 'glitch' anything. The one bomb that was positioned beneath the main shuttle made sense to me in terms of maximizing the blast distribution; I didn't know that it would 'phase' through the floor or anything like that, but I did expect it to inflict casualties on the aliens aboard the shuttle because that makes sense; it's a high explosive charge; whether or not there's a floor above it, it's going to do some serious damage. Moreover, for all the complaining that was made about this one bomb out of seven, the others did the vast majority of the damage.

#4: I tried to get authorization from command. The commander was apparently SSD. Other marines encouraged it, and we were in a really shitty situation so far as I could tell, so I planted the explosives.

#5: When the shuttles arrived, a bunch of people were screaming at me to det; between that and the panic at seeing a couple of T3 aliens come out of the shuttle, I did.


The outcome is that I got banned for 24 hours and job banned for a week from anything Sci related. Not happy about it, but I guess I can understand why in so far as I did violate the rule about breaches, even if it was a pretty desperate situation.

[Steelpoint]

We were in a round with over one hundred people, when it came time for the marines to take to the dropships we found out that the dropships were overcrowded. I was sitting in one of the few chairs in the lower part of the main dropship, the entire room was packed with marines most of which were not in a chair. Most of Bravo squad was in this lower area.

As we took off someone opened the shutter's, and coincidently one of the normal doors was open.

Suddenly about a dozen marines flopped to the floor and were all dragged out of the dropship kicking and screaming. After a few moments only five marines who buckled into a chair, including myself, were left in the lower section.

[Sargeantmuffinman]

I put a flare in my webbing.

[tenshar]

Watching 11 aliens run up into a kill box at the Sulcio ladders..

[Felkvir]

http://gyazo.com/9d6ce1dee9d4a91ea9f8413b60181a5d

clown muhreen

[TheCubscout]

OKAY SO I AM OBSERVING WHILE MAKING FORUM SUGGESTIONS WHEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN I SEE THIS GUY


Okay cool, so I'm like-
"Hey, maybe he's just helpin' out, ya know, doing a good thing"
Examine this boy


...

...!

...!?!

UNACCEPTABLE
What is this
So you sayin'
This man got his ID changed
To Janitor
But when I do it
There's a problem.

No. Just... No, okay?
*Sobbing in the background

[johners12345]

OKAY SO I AM OBSERVING WHILE MAKING FORUM SUGGESTIONS WHEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN I SEE THIS GUY


Okay cool, so I'm like-
"Hey, maybe he's just helpin' out, ya know, doing a good thing"
Examine this boy


...

...!

...!?!

UNACCEPTABLE
What is this
So you sayin'
This man got his ID changed
To Janitor
But when I do it
There's a problem.

No. Just... No, okay?
*Sobbing in the background

*proceeds to fall over laughing.. Dieing... beeeeeep* I'm so sorry for your loss..

[Artyom]

i killed a predator with a spear one time

[Sebro]

http://gyazo.com/9d6ce1dee9d4a91ea9f8413b60181a5d

clown muhreen

Doesn't someone do that every round?

[Siserith Vassada]

i found a random pill bottle on the floor of the shuttle the pills were labeled robust combat mk-2 so i decided to exchage a mag for them. and boy. were these pills robust. later on in the round my entire squad got killed in a hive assault i popped five of these babies and ran at three ravagers. a praetorian. and a queen with my fireaxe they all assaulted me at once. turns out those pills made it impossible for me to be stunned or incapped and healed any damage i took was also instantley healed and i was super fast. i killed two ravs. three a grenade and stunned the pret and queen killed the third ravager. and then the queen ran away. a bunch of little ones. two runners a sent a spit and a runner ran at me. i killed one of the runners and the spitter. the others ran away. i then collapsed of an overdose but somehow survived it an managed to limp back to the shuttle with both my arms broken. one of my feet missing. anyways. those robust pills were lifesavers. also. frags and unrobust aliens

[Surrealistik]

i found a random pill bottle on the floor of the shuttle the pills were labeled robust combat mk-2 so i decided to exchage a mag for them. and boy. were these pills robust. later on in the round my entire squad got killed in a hive assault i popped five of these babies and ran at three ravagers. a praetorian. and a queen with my fireaxe they all assaulted me at once. turns out those pills made it impossible for me to be stunned or incapped and healed any damage i took was also instantley healed and i was super fast. i killed two ravs. three a grenade and stunned the pret and queen killed the third ravager. and then the queen ran away. a bunch of little ones. two runners a sent a spit and a runner ran at me. i killed one of the runners and the spitter. the others ran away. i then collapsed of an overdose but somehow survived it an managed to limp back to the shuttle with both my arms broken. one of my feet missing. anyways. those robust pills were lifesavers. also. frags and unrobust aliens

I made that shit; if it says Sur on the pill, you know it's good. Hyperzine and Synaptizine for when you gotta go fast, and getting dismembered/tackled/spit stunned by aliens too slow. Despite the litany of overwrought nerfs, Science can still make some nice stuff. Good to know these field tested so well; believe it or not, a lot of people straight up turned my pills down/ignored them.

Also, yeah, more than three of those things will overdose, though its Dylovene component should negate the impact of that.

I dunno about the healing part though; you must have taken some other drugs with them. Might be possible that you took a couple of MK1s with the MK2s which have Tricord in lieu of Dylovene; those _will_ cause issues with toxic accumulation if they're not paired with the MK2s. Generally the rate of toxicity build up is slow, but by the end of it, assuming you took no other meds, you should have in the area of ~32 toxin damage per MK1 dose.

As for MK2s, you should be able to down up to 18 of them and not suffer any toxin damage from overdosing.

[Dombonesticks]

Heaven has terrible customer support

[johners12345]

This is the prayer conversation i made with dombone now with HIS responses. Also Yes, Heaven had some cut backs,... They had to hire the unmentionable people who have grammar and spelling issues *gasps* Byond ss13 division.. The true hell

Heaven has terrible customer support
I dont know whats worse, god. Being blown out of an airlock and dying , or being cloned and having incompetent doctors who dont know how to fix you. Why have you forsaken me god, why?



Well, it all started when I flew out an airlock , and splatted on a planet. Then , i have a second chance at life , and still fucke up. Woe is me



100%




no


I didnt deserve this reincarnation. I was a medical doctor damnit, i helped people
That bitch, make sure she goes to heaven so i can burn in hell peacefully



Does he shove a pitchfork in my ass, because i'm into some kinky shit