Funny, Embarrassing, and General OMG Moments

[Gandalf]

my biggest OMG moment was back on the nostromo... when an admin spawned in an empress

better2.jpg

The halfway through the round it just explodes... and all the aliens are confused, but just kept going. I don't even remember who spawned it in.

The better one was where an empress was spawned in so the marines pulled out stunprods and plastic explosives.

Weirdly, this one ended up exploding too.

[Sargeantmuffinman]

How tempting...

[Azmodan412]

>Spawn in as RO
>Find out you have a CT helper.
>Do your job
>BO gives you his Commander level ID card, promoting RO to CO.
>BO goes to cryo
>RO/CO then briefs the marines
>Constant shuttle transit
>Pod deployment
>CO wakes up
>CO goes to cryo, sending RO into CO position again
>Survivors debrief RO
>RO sets up Supermatter engine with a survivor
>Round ends with 12 humans to 0 xenos.
>10/10 would RO again.

[Sargeantmuffinman]

500 points?

Spending spree.

[ChickenShizNit8]

The better one was where an empress was spawned in so the marines pulled out stunprods and plastic explosives.

Weirdly, this one ended up exploding too.

Man I remember how BS stunprods where back in those days xD

[SUPERMAN112]

Man I remember how BS stunprods where back in those days xD

people would stun the queen, drag her into the open, and make her look like swiss cheese

[ZDashe]

Colonial Marines Alpha Edition 2016-01-03 132925.png

Salvador Buttersworth (follow) says, "His head is in there"
Salvador Buttersworth (follow) says, "I saw it"
Salvador Buttersworth (follow) says, "Doc"
Salvador Buttersworth (follow) says, "Heads up"
Frankie Agg (follow) says, "So many head puns"
...
Douglas Wright (follow) says, "We got way more heads than bodies"
Frankie Agg (follow) asks, "Who's head goes where?"
Douglas Wright (follow) says, "Match a head to a body and bag it"
Frankie Agg (follow) says, "I know this one, owe him a beer"
Frankie Agg (follow) says, "Huh out out body bags"
...
Oliver 'Vulture' Shelley (follow) says, "I don't want to get back on this fucking planet..."

[NoShamNoWow]

http://imgur.com/jAfrUFl

Cover me! I'm taking piss!

[johners12345]

my biggest OMG moment was back on the nostromo... when an admin spawned in an empress

better2.jpg

The halfway through the round it just explodes... and all the aliens are confused, but just kept going. I don't even remember who spawned it in.

MY biggest OMG moment was when i convinced a admin to spawn me into the battle arena with a empress.. Empress > Energy axe

[Edgelord]

>Be me
>Procure Corporate Jet Pod
>a non-specific ginger is standing by the pod, I invite him to ride with me
>Said ginger is not able to get out of pod, rename it to Hotel California
>Volunteer for forward scouting duty
> Scout beats

► Show Spoiler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AWBf0hbeMU

>Transport dying marine back to the shuttle, but Hotel California runs out of juice and I have to leave Bigby the ginger behind to get the dying marine to safety
>Come back five minutes later to marooned ginger cowering in the pod
>Use wit and explosives to blow him out of the pod
>Ginger dies exclaims that I am the best at space

[KittyLava]

We has so many head puns that round, originated from watching a sentry turret camera to arriving and bagging.

[Varnock]

This poor poor crusher...

[Grypho]

Colonial Marines Alpha Edition 2016-01-03 132925.png

Salvador Buttersworth (follow) says, "His head is in there"
Salvador Buttersworth (follow) says, "I saw it"
Salvador Buttersworth (follow) says, "Doc"
Salvador Buttersworth (follow) says, "Heads up"
Frankie Agg (follow) says, "So many head puns"
...
Douglas Wright (follow) says, "We got way more heads than bodies"
Frankie Agg (follow) asks, "Who's head goes where?"
Douglas Wright (follow) says, "Match a head to a body and bag it"
Frankie Agg (follow) says, "I know this one, owe him a beer"
Frankie Agg (follow) says, "Huh out out body bags"
...
Oliver 'Vulture' Shelley (follow) says, "I don't want to get back on this fucking planet..."

Yeah after the successful defensive I ordered everyone to return to the planet and storm it... I took part in the combat and got my head taken as a trophy too.

[monkeysfist101]

So, I've been cocooned.

Dakota Marshall uses a series of clicks and hisses to explain to the sentinel that he's needed elsewhere.

Sentinel (62) believes him

You pull yourself free from the nest!

Sentinel (62) spits at Dakota Marshall!

Dakota Marshall is hit by the spit in the left leg!

Sentinel (62) was just kidding

Dakota Marshall thought they were friends.

Sentinel (62) wishes this oculd be true. In another life maybe, but sentinel 62 has duties.

Dakota Marshall understands how hard shift work for the sentinel must be.

Sentinel (62) just wishes people would notice the effort she puts in more. I mean sure it's not as glitzy as a runner, but who stays at the hive all day? Sentinel (62)

Dakota Marshall wishes that he could convey that she should ask for a promotiion, but alas, he is a human and she probably can't understand him.

Sentinel (62) begins to twist and contort..

Spitter (626) emerges from the husk of Sentinel (62).

Dakota Marshall is glad she got the promotion.

Spitter (626) wishes that things could be different, and the ayylmaos and humans could frolic through spess together. But Spitter (626) knows that this will never be true.

-BURST-

Spitter (626) hisses, "Goodnight sweet prince."

[Edgelord]

So, I've been cocooned.

Dakota Marshall uses a series of clicks and hisses to explain to the sentinel that he's needed elsewhere.

Sentinel (62) believes him

You pull yourself free from the nest!

Sentinel (62) spits at Dakota Marshall!

Dakota Marshall is hit by the spit in the left leg!

Sentinel (62) was just kidding

Dakota Marshall thought they were friends.

Sentinel (62) wishes this oculd be true. In another life maybe, but sentinel 62 has duties.

Dakota Marshall understands how hard shift work for the sentinel must be.

Sentinel (62) just wishes people would notice the effort she puts in more. I mean sure it's not as glitzy as a runner, but who stays at the hive all day? Sentinel (62)

Dakota Marshall wishes that he could convey that she should ask for a promotiion, but alas, he is a human and she probably can't understand him.

Sentinel (62) begins to twist and contort..

Spitter (626) emerges from the husk of Sentinel (62).

Dakota Marshall is glad she got the promotion.

Spitter (626) wishes that things could be different, and the ayylmaos and humans could frolic through spess together. But Spitter (626) knows that this will never be true.

-BURST-

Spitter (626) hisses, "Goodnight sweet prince."

That was me hahaha

[Azmodan412]

A forbidden romance... Now for me.

>be CO
>Brief a grand total of 5 marines
>Send them on a S&R op
>Save survivor
>Somehow get an infested monkey on board that bursts.
>Larva is friendly
>Locks larva in locker
>larva evolves and locks drone in locker, welding it
>Sticks locker in containment
>Drone melts locker, killing self
>At this point, an MP was crushed by the shuttle, chasing a pajamarine
>At this point, marines know about xenos
>BOs wake up and help coordinate
>While CO was dealing with this shit, assault fails +5 xenos gained.
>BOs insult CO with him in the room
>BOs resign
>BO returns, attempts to one-man mutiny without admins on
>BO loses head to desert eagle
>Other BO shoots, loses head
>XO arrests CO, believing he is an MP
>Chill in brig for a bit
>Marines force XO to remove CO from cell
>XO puts CO in solitary
>XO probably gets gunned down
>CO writing last will/testament
>Marine major victory
>Shit commander. *shrugs*

[XenonDragneel]

http://imgur.com/jAfrUFl

Cover me! I'm taking piss!

Lol!

[ZDashe]

Xeno & Marine RP

scrnshot1.png

Marine Intro:

► Show Spoiler

This is Nikolas Sokolov!
He is wearing USCM Uniform with a shoulder holster.
He is wearing B12 Pattern Leader Armor.
He is carrying a Marine Combat Knife on his B12 Pattern Leader Armor.
He has a marine backpack on his back.
He has some alpha squad gloves on his hands.
He has a marine belt about his waist.
He is wearing some marine combat boots on his feet.
He has Health Scanner HUD covering his eyes.
He has a marine alpha radio headset on his left ear.
He is wearing Nikolas Sokolov's ID Card (Alpha Squad Leader).
He has a bandaged fresh skin, and a bleeding ugly ripped flesh wound on his head.
A tall, gruff man, with a few visibl... More...
*---------*

Story Part 1 <Resigned to Fate>:

► Show Spoiler

Carrier (75) has tackled down Nikolas Sokolov!
The Carrier (75) dances around!
Hunter (583) has tackled down Nikolas Sokolov!
Ravager (530) has tackled down Nikolas Sokolov!
Nikolas Sokolov isn't even moving.
Ravager (530) blinks.
Nikolas Sokolov looks up at the big one in front of him, and sort of shrugs
Nikolas Sokolov reaches into his armor.
<...All Xenos start to tackle spam him...>
Nikolas Sokolov pulls out a blindfold.
Hunter (583) Hisses elevator music.
Nikolas Sokolov puts the blindfold on.
This is Nikolas Sokolov!
He is wearing...
...
He has a blindfold covering his eyes.
...
Hivemind, Ravager (530) hisses, 'Should we bring it healing items?'
Runner (434) caresses Nikolas Sokolov with its scythe like arm.
Hivemind, Ravager (530) hisses, 'It would then survive for the bursting.'
Hivemind, Hunter (583) hisses, 'Okay'
Nikolas Sokolov shrugs again
Hivemind, Queen hisses, 'Yes.'
...
<Ravager returns dragging a medkit>
Nikolas Sokolov can't see shit.
Ravager (530) points to the first-aid kit
Carrier (75) points to the first-aid kit
Hunter (583) hisses, "Let him heal first"
Nikolas Sokolov bandages ugly ripped flesh wound on Nikolas Sokolov's head.
Ravager (530) hisses, "We follow Xenova Conventions."
Hivelord (104) Smiles, waving to Nikolas.
Nikolas Sokolov sort of shrugs again.
Ravager (530) waves.
Carrier (75) smiles.
Ravager (530) hisses, "75"
Ravager (530) hisses, "Brush your fangs."
Hunter (583) Waves.
Nikolas Sokolov points at himself, does a cutthroat gesture, then raises his eyebrow at the hivelord.
Ravager (530) hisses, "I can see bits in them"
Hivelord (104) Shakes head.
Carrier (75) brushes it's fangs clean.
Runner (434) has tackled down Nikolas Sokolov!
Carrier (75) waves.
Carrier (802) caresses Runner (434) with its scythe like arm.
The Carrier (75) dances around!
Ravager (530) shrugs waving about knife-hands.
Hivemind, Ravager (530) hisses, 'This host is a good loser.'
Nikolas Sokolov raises his eyebrow again.
The Ravager (530) dances around!
Hivemind, Queen hisses, 'He died?'
Carrier (75) stares at it's host lovingly.
Hunter (583) Inner jaw exits slowly...
Hivemind, Hivelord (104) hisses, 'No.'
Runner (434) has tackled down Nikolas Sokolov!
Hivemind, Ravager (530) hisses, 'Of course not.'
Hivemind, Hivelord (104) hisses, 'He thinks we're friendly.'
Carrier (75) caresses Nikolas Sokolov with its scythe like arm.
Hivemind, Queen hisses, 'Where are you?'
Hivemind, Ravager (530) hisses, 'We brought it healing box.'
Nikolas Sokolov is not really liking the runner.
Carrier (802) caresses Runner (434) with its scythe like arm.
Nikolas Sokolov just sort of laughs....
The Carrier (802) dances around!
The Hunter (583) dances around!
Nikolas Sokolov pulls out a recorder.
Hivelord (104) hisses, "Alright."
Nikolas Sokolov says, "*e*e * *m*"
LOOC: Hunter (583): 4 xenos dancing
Hivelord (104) hisses, "Nest him."
LOOC: Hunter (583): lol
The Hunter (583) dances around!
Hivemind, Ravager (530) hisses, 'He is current unnested'
Hivemind, Carrier (75) hisses, 'We are all north of nexus, entertaining our new host'
The Carrier (802) dances around!
Nikolas Sokolov says, "*u***u**** b* * *f *** ********"
Runner (434) Farts
Hivemind, Ravager (530) hisses, 'But not resisting.'
Hunter (583) hisses, "Wait"
Hivelord (104) hisses, "No more stalling."
Hunter (583) hisses, "He is funny"
Nikolas Sokolov says, "*********** fu***n* d*n**n* *r**n* **"
Ravager (530) hisses, "He isn'"
The Carrier (802) dances around!
Ravager (530) hisses, "Really doing anything"
Hunter (583) hisses, "He is"
The Carrier (75) dances around!
Nikolas Sokolov says, "* ***** **i* ** a ***d pl*** ** **** t** *ec***i***"
Ravager (530) hisses, "He's fine."
Hivemind, Queen hisses, 'I wish to see Host.'

Part 2 <Revelations>:

► Show Spoiler

<Nikolas Playbacks the Tape Recorder logs of ~19 minutes before>
Tape Recorder: [02:24] Saint Luc Riveire shouts, "BACK BACK!"
Tape Recorder: [02:27] Pixie Ashingold yells, "CLEAR!"
Tape Recorder: [02:28] Saint Luc Riveire yells, "INCINDIARY OUT!"
Tape Recorder: Skipping 21 seconds of silence
Tape Recorder: [02:49] Nikolas Sokolov says, "This doesn't look good..."
Tape Recorder: Skipping 22 seconds of silence
Tape Recorder: [03:11] Saint Luc Riveire shouts, "Clear!"
Tape Recorder: Skipping 18 seconds of silence
Tape Recorder: [03:29] Saint Luc Riveire says, "Where the fu0"
Tape Recorder: [03:32] Saint Luc Riveire says, "Well.."
Tape Recorder: [03:34] Saint Luc Riveire says, "Look."
Tape Recorder: [03:39] Saint Luc Riveire says, "Alpha squad gloves."
Tape Recorder: [03:50] Pixie Ashingold says, "Dayum."
Tape Recorder: [04:00] Pixie Ashingold says, "At least we don't have a corpse here."
Tape Recorder: Skipping 382 seconds of silence
Tape Recorder: [10:22] Nikolas Sokolov asks, "Anyone?"
Tape Recorder: Skipping 94 seconds of silence
Tape Recorder: [11:56] Carrier (75) hisses, "Is that the last one?"
Tape Recorder: [11:59] Ravager (530) hisses, "Yes."
Tape Recorder: Skipping 32 seconds of silence
Tape Recorder: [12:31] Nikolas Sokolov asks, "Hey. Big guy. Think you can take this crab thing off of me?"
Tape Recorder: [12:35] Ravager (530) hisses, "`:aIf it gets up, it will be slas-"
Tape Recorder: Skipping 31 seconds of silence
Tape Recorder: [13:06] Hunter (583) hisses, "Great job"
Tape Recorder: Skipping 35 seconds of silence
Tape Recorder: [13:41] Nikolas Sokolov says, "Fuck, I'm going for a cig, leave me alone."
Ravager (530) hisses, "Ha"
Hunter (583) hisses, "Crab thing?"
Tape Recorder: [13:42] Runner (434) hisses, "Woof !"
Hunter (583) hisses, "Hugger?"
Tape Recorder: [13:45] Ravager (530) hisses, "Woof?"
Tape Recorder: Skipping 62 seconds of silence
Tape Recorder: [14:47] Ravager (530) hisses, "Hey"
Tape Recorder: [14:51] Ravager (530) hisses, "Leave- oh."
Tape Recorder: [15:01] Ravager (530) hisses, "Let it be for now."
Tape Recorder: [15:04] Ravager (530) hisses, "Unless it runs."
... Meanwhile in the background:
Priority Alert

A distress beacon has been launched from the USS Sulaco.

...
Tape Recorder: [15:09] Ravager (530) hisses, "Tch"
Tape Recorder: [15:13] Ravager (530) hisses, "And I am the crude one"
Tape Recorder: Skipping 36 seconds of silence
Tape Recorder: [15:49] Hunter (583) hisses, "Let him heal first"
Tape Recorder: Skipping 18 seconds of silence
Tape Recorder: [16:07] Ravager (530) hisses, "We follow Xenova Conventions."
Tape Recorder: Skipping 17 seconds of silence
... Tape Recorder events catch up to the present...
Tape Recorder: [18:01] Nikolas Sokolov says, "Well."
Tape Recorder: [18:08] Hivelord (104) hisses, "Alright."
Tape Recorder: [18:09] Nikolas Sokolov says, "Here I am."
Tape Recorder: [18:11] Hivelord (104) hisses, "Nest him."
Tape Recorder: [18:18] Nikolas Sokolov says, "Surrounded by 6 of the fuckers."
Tape Recorder: [18:21] Hunter (583) hisses, "Wait"
Tape Recorder: [18:22] Hivelord (104) hisses, "No more stalling."
Tape Recorder: [18:23] Hunter (583) hisses, "He is funny"
Tape Recorder: [18:27] Nikolas Sokolov says, "They're fucking dancing around me"
Tape Recorder: [18:30] Ravager (530) hisses, "He isn'"
Tape Recorder: [18:33] Ravager (530) hisses, "Really doing anything"
Tape Recorder: [18:33] Hunter (583) hisses, "He is"

Distress Beacon

The distress signal got no response.


Tape Recorder: [18:37] Nikolas Sokolov says, "I think this is a good place to stop the recording."
Tape Recorder: [18:38] Ravager (530) hisses, "He's fine."
Tape Recorder: [18:45] Nikolas Sokolov says, "And to the big wigs in command: Fuck you all."

Part 3 <Final Contact>

► Show Spoiler

...While the Tape Recorder was playing, Carrier (75) brought a Voice Analyzer to attempt communication with the infected marine...
Nikolas Sokolov coughs!
Nikolas Sokolov says, "*** s***l* *d*c*t* **u* ***l*r*n b*t**r."
Carrier (75) hisses, "I brought something"
Ravager (530) hisses, "Yes"
Nikolas Sokolov coughs!
Carrier (75) points to the voice analyzer
beeps, "Now recording input."
Carrier (75) hisses, "Hello"
beeps, "Activation message is 'Hello'."
... Xenos all excitedly talks all at once...
Carrier (75) hisses, "Let it speak"
beeps, "Now recording input."
Ravager (530) hisses, ".."
beeps, "Activation message is '..'."
Hivelord (104) hisses, "He understands us?"
Ravager (530) hisses, "OH"
Nikolas Sokolov says, "*h** is fu***** har**"
Nikolas Sokolov coughs!
beeps, "Now recording input."
Ravager (530) hisses, "THE THING TRANSLATES"
beeps, "Activation message is 'THE THING TRANSLATES'."
Hivelord (104) hisses, "Woah."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Nikolas Sokolov says, "I ****"
beeps, "Activation message is 'I KNOW'."
Hivelord (104) hisses, ".."
Carrier (802) hisses, "Amazing"
beeps, "Now recording input."
Ravager (530) hisses, "Amazing."
beeps, "Activation message is 'Amazing.'."
Hivelord (104) hisses, "Well."
Carrier (75) hisses, "It understands!"
beeps, "Now recording input."
Nikolas Sokolov says, "O** ** a *i***"
beeps, "Activation message is 'One at a time.'."
Ravager (530) nods.
Hivelord (104) hisses, "Can you guys understand him?"
beeps, "Activation message is 'Can you guys understand him?'."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Ravager (530) hisses, "The queen will speak, I thinjk? Everyone else quiet."
beeps, "Activation message is 'The queen will speak, I thinjk? Everyone else quiet.'."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Nikolas Sokolov says, "**i* t*i** **** ***** wi*h o*e v**** ** a *i**"
beeps, "Activation message is 'This thing only works with one voice at a time'."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Nikolas Sokolov says, "** *ic* w*o t*lk*"
beeps, "Activation message is 'So pick who talks'."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Hivemind, Ravager (530) hisses, 'All lower castes, quiet.'
Hivemind, Ravager (530) hisses, 'The queen is the only one to speak out of hivemind.'
Hivemind, Carrier (75) hisses, 'Let the queen speak'
Hunter (583) hisses, "Im T2"
beeps, "Activation message is 'Im T2'."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Queen hisses, "You apart of our hive now."
beeps, "Activation message is 'You apart of our hive now.'."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Hivelord (104) hisses, "Welcome."
beeps, "Activation message is 'Welcome.'."
Hunter (583) hisses, "Im not a low caste"
beeps, "Now recording input."
Nikolas Sokolov says, "**** t***&**9*s **c*"
beeps, "Activation message is 'Well that's nice'."
Hivemind, Ravager (530) hisses, 'You are lower than I, Hunter.'
Hivemind, Ravager (530) hisses, 'Do not speak.'

beeps, "Now recording input."
beeps, "Activation message is 'Do not betray the hive.'."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Nikolas Sokolov says, "*h*s&***;** ** * *** *i***c**t* *** * *****k *******l *** i*."
beeps, "Activation message is 'This'll be a bit difficult, but I thiink I'll get it.'."
Hivemind, Hunter (583) hisses, 'He will burst'
Queen hisses, "You are pregnant with my daughter."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Hivemind, Hunter (583) hisses, 'And die'
Nikolas Sokolov says, "***** **p*** ***t* t** t**** d***&***** *o."
beeps, "Activation message is 'Fuck, repeat that, the thing didn't go.'."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Nikolas Sokolov has disarmed Nikolas Sokolov!
Queen hisses, "You are pregnant with my daughter."
beeps, "Activation message is 'You are pregnant with my daughter.'."
Hivemind, Hunter (583) hisses, 'Noooo'
beeps, "Now recording input."
Hivemind, Hunter (583) hisses, 'He will run!!'
Nikolas Sokolov says, "W***.** a******** **** **s* *ha******"
beeps, "Activation message is 'Well... ain't that just charming.'."
Hivelord (104) hisses, "Very."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Queen hisses, "I'm not some cheap date, either."
beeps, "Activation message is 'I'm not some cheap date, either.'."
ÿ!Nikolas Sokolov examines himself.
beeps, "Now recording input."
Carrier (802) hisses, "Yea, she has high standards."
beeps, "Activation message is 'Yea, she has high standards.'."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Nikolas Sokolov asks, "*s ****l*y **** a **ea* *****"
beeps, "Activation message is 'Is royalty ever a cheap date?'."
Queen hisses, "I'm a Queen, you know."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Queen hisses, "I'm a Queen, you know."
beeps, "Activation message is 'I'm a Queen, you know.'."
beeps, "Now recording input."
ÿNikolas Sokolov starts shaking uncontrollably!
Nikolas Sokolov screams!
Nikolas Sokolov seizes up and falls limp, their eyes dead and lifeless...

Epilogue:

► Show Spoiler

Ravager (530) hisses, "Aw."
beeps, "Activation message is 'Aw.'."
Carrier (802) hisses, "Well"
Hunter (583) hisses, "There it goes"
Queen hisses, "Awh."
Carrier (802) hisses, "There goes that"
Hivelord (104) hisses, "Damn."
Hunter (583) hisses, "He was funny"
Alien Larva (461) hisses, "Well then."
Carrier (802) hisses, "Now then"
Queen hisses, "He was."
Ravager (530) hisses, "I liked him."
Hivelord (104) hisses, "Well then."
Hivelord (104) hisses, "Same."
Queen hisses, "I did too."
Carrier (802) hisses, "Lets go"
Hunter (583) hisses, "Me too"
Queen hisses, "Welcome Larva."

[Hycinth]

Xeno & Marine RP

scrnshot1.png

Marine Intro:

► Show Spoiler

This is Nikolas Sokolov!
He is wearing USCM Uniform with a shoulder holster.
He is wearing B12 Pattern Leader Armor.
He is carrying a Marine Combat Knife on his B12 Pattern Leader Armor.
He has a marine backpack on his back.
He has some alpha squad gloves on his hands.
He has a marine belt about his waist.
He is wearing some marine combat boots on his feet.
He has Health Scanner HUD covering his eyes.
He has a marine alpha radio headset on his left ear.
He is wearing Nikolas Sokolov's ID Card (Alpha Squad Leader).
He has a bandaged fresh skin, and a bleeding ugly ripped flesh wound on his head.
A tall, gruff man, with a few visibl... More...
*---------*

Story Part 1 <Resigned to Fate>:

► Show Spoiler

Carrier (75) has tackled down Nikolas Sokolov!
The Carrier (75) dances around!
Hunter (583) has tackled down Nikolas Sokolov!
Ravager (530) has tackled down Nikolas Sokolov!
Nikolas Sokolov isn't even moving.
Ravager (530) blinks.
Nikolas Sokolov looks up at the big one in front of him, and sort of shrugs
Nikolas Sokolov reaches into his armor.
<...All Xenos start to tackle spam him...>
Nikolas Sokolov pulls out a blindfold.
Hunter (583) Hisses elevator music.
Nikolas Sokolov puts the blindfold on.
This is Nikolas Sokolov!
He is wearing...
...
He has a blindfold covering his eyes.
...
Hivemind, Ravager (530) hisses, 'Should we bring it healing items?'
Runner (434) caresses Nikolas Sokolov with its scythe like arm.
Hivemind, Ravager (530) hisses, 'It would then survive for the bursting.'
Hivemind, Hunter (583) hisses, 'Okay'
Nikolas Sokolov shrugs again
Hivemind, Queen hisses, 'Yes.'
...
<Ravager returns dragging a medkit>
Nikolas Sokolov can't see shit.
Ravager (530) points to the first-aid kit
Carrier (75) points to the first-aid kit
Hunter (583) hisses, "Let him heal first"
Nikolas Sokolov bandages ugly ripped flesh wound on Nikolas Sokolov's head.
Ravager (530) hisses, "We follow Xenova Conventions."
Hivelord (104) Smiles, waving to Nikolas.
Nikolas Sokolov sort of shrugs again.
Ravager (530) waves.
Carrier (75) smiles.
Ravager (530) hisses, "75"
Ravager (530) hisses, "Brush your fangs."
Hunter (583) Waves.
Nikolas Sokolov points at himself, does a cutthroat gesture, then raises his eyebrow at the hivelord.
Ravager (530) hisses, "I can see bits in them"
Hivelord (104) Shakes head.
Carrier (75) brushes it's fangs clean.
Runner (434) has tackled down Nikolas Sokolov!
Carrier (75) waves.
Carrier (802) caresses Runner (434) with its scythe like arm.
The Carrier (75) dances around!
Ravager (530) shrugs waving about knife-hands.
Hivemind, Ravager (530) hisses, 'This host is a good loser.'
Nikolas Sokolov raises his eyebrow again.
The Ravager (530) dances around!
Hivemind, Queen hisses, 'He died?'
Carrier (75) stares at it's host lovingly.
Hunter (583) Inner jaw exits slowly...
Hivemind, Hivelord (104) hisses, 'No.'
Runner (434) has tackled down Nikolas Sokolov!
Hivemind, Ravager (530) hisses, 'Of course not.'
Hivemind, Hivelord (104) hisses, 'He thinks we're friendly.'
Carrier (75) caresses Nikolas Sokolov with its scythe like arm.
Hivemind, Queen hisses, 'Where are you?'
Hivemind, Ravager (530) hisses, 'We brought it healing box.'
Nikolas Sokolov is not really liking the runner.
Carrier (802) caresses Runner (434) with its scythe like arm.
Nikolas Sokolov just sort of laughs....
The Carrier (802) dances around!
The Hunter (583) dances around!
Nikolas Sokolov pulls out a recorder.
Hivelord (104) hisses, "Alright."
Nikolas Sokolov says, "*e*e * *m*"
LOOC: Hunter (583): 4 xenos dancing
Hivelord (104) hisses, "Nest him."
LOOC: Hunter (583): lol
The Hunter (583) dances around!
Hivemind, Ravager (530) hisses, 'He is current unnested'
Hivemind, Carrier (75) hisses, 'We are all north of nexus, entertaining our new host'
The Carrier (802) dances around!
Nikolas Sokolov says, "*u***u**** b* * *f *** ********"
Runner (434) Farts
Hivemind, Ravager (530) hisses, 'But not resisting.'
Hunter (583) hisses, "Wait"
Hivelord (104) hisses, "No more stalling."
Hunter (583) hisses, "He is funny"
Nikolas Sokolov says, "*********** fu***n* d*n**n* *r**n* **"
Ravager (530) hisses, "He isn'"
The Carrier (802) dances around!
Ravager (530) hisses, "Really doing anything"
Hunter (583) hisses, "He is"
The Carrier (75) dances around!
Nikolas Sokolov says, "* ***** **i* ** a ***d pl*** ** **** t** *ec***i***"
Ravager (530) hisses, "He's fine."
Hivemind, Queen hisses, 'I wish to see Host.'

Part 2 <Revelations>:

► Show Spoiler

<Nikolas Playbacks the Tape Recorder logs of ~19 minutes before>
Tape Recorder: [02:24] Saint Luc Riveire shouts, "BACK BACK!"
Tape Recorder: [02:27] Pixie Ashingold yells, "CLEAR!"
Tape Recorder: [02:28] Saint Luc Riveire yells, "INCINDIARY OUT!"
Tape Recorder: Skipping 21 seconds of silence
Tape Recorder: [02:49] Nikolas Sokolov says, "This doesn't look good..."
Tape Recorder: Skipping 22 seconds of silence
Tape Recorder: [03:11] Saint Luc Riveire shouts, "Clear!"
Tape Recorder: Skipping 18 seconds of silence
Tape Recorder: [03:29] Saint Luc Riveire says, "Where the fu0"
Tape Recorder: [03:32] Saint Luc Riveire says, "Well.."
Tape Recorder: [03:34] Saint Luc Riveire says, "Look."
Tape Recorder: [03:39] Saint Luc Riveire says, "Alpha squad gloves."
Tape Recorder: [03:50] Pixie Ashingold says, "Dayum."
Tape Recorder: [04:00] Pixie Ashingold says, "At least we don't have a corpse here."
Tape Recorder: Skipping 382 seconds of silence
Tape Recorder: [10:22] Nikolas Sokolov asks, "Anyone?"
Tape Recorder: Skipping 94 seconds of silence
Tape Recorder: [11:56] Carrier (75) hisses, "Is that the last one?"
Tape Recorder: [11:59] Ravager (530) hisses, "Yes."
Tape Recorder: Skipping 32 seconds of silence
Tape Recorder: [12:31] Nikolas Sokolov asks, "Hey. Big guy. Think you can take this crab thing off of me?"
Tape Recorder: [12:35] Ravager (530) hisses, "`:aIf it gets up, it will be slas-"
Tape Recorder: Skipping 31 seconds of silence
Tape Recorder: [13:06] Hunter (583) hisses, "Great job"
Tape Recorder: Skipping 35 seconds of silence
Tape Recorder: [13:41] Nikolas Sokolov says, "Fuck, I'm going for a cig, leave me alone."
Ravager (530) hisses, "Ha"
Hunter (583) hisses, "Crab thing?"
Tape Recorder: [13:42] Runner (434) hisses, "Woof !"
Hunter (583) hisses, "Hugger?"
Tape Recorder: [13:45] Ravager (530) hisses, "Woof?"
Tape Recorder: Skipping 62 seconds of silence
Tape Recorder: [14:47] Ravager (530) hisses, "Hey"
Tape Recorder: [14:51] Ravager (530) hisses, "Leave- oh."
Tape Recorder: [15:01] Ravager (530) hisses, "Let it be for now."
Tape Recorder: [15:04] Ravager (530) hisses, "Unless it runs."
... Meanwhile in the background:
Priority Alert

A distress beacon has been launched from the USS Sulaco.

...
Tape Recorder: [15:09] Ravager (530) hisses, "Tch"
Tape Recorder: [15:13] Ravager (530) hisses, "And I am the crude one"
Tape Recorder: Skipping 36 seconds of silence
Tape Recorder: [15:49] Hunter (583) hisses, "Let him heal first"
Tape Recorder: Skipping 18 seconds of silence
Tape Recorder: [16:07] Ravager (530) hisses, "We follow Xenova Conventions."
Tape Recorder: Skipping 17 seconds of silence
... Tape Recorder events catch up to the present...
Tape Recorder: [18:01] Nikolas Sokolov says, "Well."
Tape Recorder: [18:08] Hivelord (104) hisses, "Alright."
Tape Recorder: [18:09] Nikolas Sokolov says, "Here I am."
Tape Recorder: [18:11] Hivelord (104) hisses, "Nest him."
Tape Recorder: [18:18] Nikolas Sokolov says, "Surrounded by 6 of the fuckers."
Tape Recorder: [18:21] Hunter (583) hisses, "Wait"
Tape Recorder: [18:22] Hivelord (104) hisses, "No more stalling."
Tape Recorder: [18:23] Hunter (583) hisses, "He is funny"
Tape Recorder: [18:27] Nikolas Sokolov says, "They're fucking dancing around me"
Tape Recorder: [18:30] Ravager (530) hisses, "He isn'"
Tape Recorder: [18:33] Ravager (530) hisses, "Really doing anything"
Tape Recorder: [18:33] Hunter (583) hisses, "He is"

Distress Beacon

The distress signal got no response.


Tape Recorder: [18:37] Nikolas Sokolov says, "I think this is a good place to stop the recording."
Tape Recorder: [18:38] Ravager (530) hisses, "He's fine."
Tape Recorder: [18:45] Nikolas Sokolov says, "And to the big wigs in command: Fuck you all."

Part 3 <Final Contact>

► Show Spoiler

...While the Tape Recorder was playing, Carrier (75) brought a Voice Analyzer to attempt communication with the infected marine...
Nikolas Sokolov coughs!
Nikolas Sokolov says, "*** s***l* *d*c*t* **u* ***l*r*n b*t**r."
Carrier (75) hisses, "I brought something"
Ravager (530) hisses, "Yes"
Nikolas Sokolov coughs!
Carrier (75) points to the voice analyzer
beeps, "Now recording input."
Carrier (75) hisses, "Hello"
beeps, "Activation message is 'Hello'."
... Xenos all excitedly talks all at once...
Carrier (75) hisses, "Let it speak"
beeps, "Now recording input."
Ravager (530) hisses, ".."
beeps, "Activation message is '..'."
Hivelord (104) hisses, "He understands us?"
Ravager (530) hisses, "OH"
Nikolas Sokolov says, "*h** is fu***** har**"
Nikolas Sokolov coughs!
beeps, "Now recording input."
Ravager (530) hisses, "THE THING TRANSLATES"
beeps, "Activation message is 'THE THING TRANSLATES'."
Hivelord (104) hisses, "Woah."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Nikolas Sokolov says, "I ****"
beeps, "Activation message is 'I KNOW'."
Hivelord (104) hisses, ".."
Carrier (802) hisses, "Amazing"
beeps, "Now recording input."
Ravager (530) hisses, "Amazing."
beeps, "Activation message is 'Amazing.'."
Hivelord (104) hisses, "Well."
Carrier (75) hisses, "It understands!"
beeps, "Now recording input."
Nikolas Sokolov says, "O** ** a *i***"
beeps, "Activation message is 'One at a time.'."
Ravager (530) nods.
Hivelord (104) hisses, "Can you guys understand him?"
beeps, "Activation message is 'Can you guys understand him?'."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Ravager (530) hisses, "The queen will speak, I thinjk? Everyone else quiet."
beeps, "Activation message is 'The queen will speak, I thinjk? Everyone else quiet.'."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Nikolas Sokolov says, "**i* t*i** **** ***** wi*h o*e v**** ** a *i**"
beeps, "Activation message is 'This thing only works with one voice at a time'."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Nikolas Sokolov says, "** *ic* w*o t*lk*"
beeps, "Activation message is 'So pick who talks'."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Hivemind, Ravager (530) hisses, 'All lower castes, quiet.'
Hivemind, Ravager (530) hisses, 'The queen is the only one to speak out of hivemind.'
Hivemind, Carrier (75) hisses, 'Let the queen speak'
Hunter (583) hisses, "Im T2"
beeps, "Activation message is 'Im T2'."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Queen hisses, "You apart of our hive now."
beeps, "Activation message is 'You apart of our hive now.'."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Hivelord (104) hisses, "Welcome."
beeps, "Activation message is 'Welcome.'."
Hunter (583) hisses, "Im not a low caste"
beeps, "Now recording input."
Nikolas Sokolov says, "**** t***&**9*s **c*"
beeps, "Activation message is 'Well that's nice'."
Hivemind, Ravager (530) hisses, 'You are lower than I, Hunter.'
Hivemind, Ravager (530) hisses, 'Do not speak.'

beeps, "Now recording input."
beeps, "Activation message is 'Do not betray the hive.'."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Nikolas Sokolov says, "*h*s&***;** ** * *** *i***c**t* *** * *****k *******l *** i*."
beeps, "Activation message is 'This'll be a bit difficult, but I thiink I'll get it.'."
Hivemind, Hunter (583) hisses, 'He will burst'
Queen hisses, "You are pregnant with my daughter."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Hivemind, Hunter (583) hisses, 'And die'
Nikolas Sokolov says, "***** **p*** ***t* t** t**** d***&***** *o."
beeps, "Activation message is 'Fuck, repeat that, the thing didn't go.'."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Nikolas Sokolov has disarmed Nikolas Sokolov!
Queen hisses, "You are pregnant with my daughter."
beeps, "Activation message is 'You are pregnant with my daughter.'."
Hivemind, Hunter (583) hisses, 'Noooo'
beeps, "Now recording input."
Hivemind, Hunter (583) hisses, 'He will run!!'
Nikolas Sokolov says, "W***.** a******** **** **s* *ha******"
beeps, "Activation message is 'Well... ain't that just charming.'."
Hivelord (104) hisses, "Very."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Queen hisses, "I'm not some cheap date, either."
beeps, "Activation message is 'I'm not some cheap date, either.'."
ÿ!Nikolas Sokolov examines himself.
beeps, "Now recording input."
Carrier (802) hisses, "Yea, she has high standards."
beeps, "Activation message is 'Yea, she has high standards.'."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Nikolas Sokolov asks, "*s ****l*y **** a **ea* *****"
beeps, "Activation message is 'Is royalty ever a cheap date?'."
Queen hisses, "I'm a Queen, you know."
beeps, "Now recording input."
Queen hisses, "I'm a Queen, you know."
beeps, "Activation message is 'I'm a Queen, you know.'."
beeps, "Now recording input."
ÿNikolas Sokolov starts shaking uncontrollably!
Nikolas Sokolov screams!
Nikolas Sokolov seizes up and falls limp, their eyes dead and lifeless...

Epilogue:

► Show Spoiler

Ravager (530) hisses, "Aw."
beeps, "Activation message is 'Aw.'."
Carrier (802) hisses, "Well"
Hunter (583) hisses, "There it goes"
Queen hisses, "Awh."
Carrier (802) hisses, "There goes that"
Hivelord (104) hisses, "Damn."
Hunter (583) hisses, "He was funny"
Alien Larva (461) hisses, "Well then."
Carrier (802) hisses, "Now then"
Queen hisses, "He was."
Ravager (530) hisses, "I liked him."
Hivelord (104) hisses, "Well then."
Hivelord (104) hisses, "Same."
Queen hisses, "I did too."
Carrier (802) hisses, "Lets go"
Hunter (583) hisses, "Me too"
Queen hisses, "Welcome Larva."

I was Ravager (530)

[ChickenShizNit8]

I like to make the most of peoples fucked up moments in chat.

[Logi99]

I like to make the most of peoples fucked up moments in chat.

Haha!

[monkeysfist101]

Halloween Map
Killed by a chestburster.
Dragged around by Leo.
Accidentally resurrected as a shade by Persh.
Shade of Dakota Marshall hisses, "Boo motherfuckers."
Assume ghosts are incorporeal.
Walk in front of Leo's shots.
Die by FF.
Leo Backburn (follow) says, "Well fuck"
Persh Aggley (follow) says, "Well, RIP ghost buddy."

[ChickenShizNit8]

> Be Bigby
> Sulaco Doctor
> thefuck.jpeg
> Whatever, let the good times role
> Decide to setup a lovely waiting area in lower deck medbay to be competent and nice
> Everything is great, banter with some female marines like the biggles way
> Stand around in Medbay, awaiting orders.
> Hear something about marine "catching the flu"
> AIDS.source
> Head to shuttle and drag his ass out
> Scan
> Pregnant
> Theflyingfuckisthisshit.com
> Surgery time
> 'Nam flashback to RO not giving me all my surgery supplies
> Bigby pulls back weave and ghettos this shit
> Two over-hyped marines run in to watch
> Wonder wtf I am doing, injecting awake marine with anesthetic
> start this shit
> Whole room is screaming. guy on table, marines, me
> covered in blood, still going
> anesthetics wear off, fuck up
> fuck dis' shit, rip out worm while he's awake
> get REAL anesthetics from upstairs and bone gel in flash speed
> finish up
> We never spoke again
> referd him to child support clinics nearby
> All around good round

[TheGentGamer]

>Be Badass McBadasserson Supermarine
>JK Be Nubby Nubbs, kleptomaniac smuggler survivor.
>Survive by stealing everything on the colony.
>Get to sulaco
>Pretend to be a ed-yoo-crated medical pro-fresh-uh-nal
>loot weapons off dead marines
>not good enough
>Break into shipboard armoury
>loot weapons.
>JK They don't need that nuke.
>steal the nuke
>Convince liason to help you
>Smuggle nuke to planet without hiding
>Return to sulaco and taunt MP
>get brigged
>Actually, who am I kiddin steal a stun baton an brig the MP.
>Survive with nuke still out of marine hands
NUBBY NUBBS MAJOR VICTORY!

[Logi99]

> Be an alien starter
> Become runner 868
> Become hunter 479
> Get the first human host
> Halfway through jelleh progress
> Becomes crusher 868 and has a large wtf moment.
> We start to lose because marines start raiding our hive
> Had to choose between Boiler (68) or Praetorian
> Chose Boiler
> Praetorian died
> I rush marines and every sister follows.
> Most of them lose and turtle into FOB
> They lose the FOB and retreat to Sulaco
> Go to Sulaco and killed, infected some, everybody.
> Alien Twist Major Victory.
>