Funny, Embarrassing, and General OMG Moments

[johners12345]

Alright I didn't see you had something like this but. Post something that is hilarious from a moment when you played on the colonial server Mainly. I will start off... ahem.. freaken kool aid man is the God of spiders

[MrGabol100]

Alright I didn't see you had something like this but. Post something that is hilarious from a moment when you played on the colonial server Mainly. I will start off... ahem.. freaken kool aid man is the God of spiders http://gyazo.com/61be40ff24a56c34ca04c5a1a946a2ce

Sup Johners, so you got into CM?

[johners12345]

Yep I've always been into military stuff

[MrGabol100]

I've never had a good girl commander, and this was my fucking worst:

Commander call us to brief.
Commander says: We have a distress signal dow there, check it out and dont fight.
Marines get into shuttles and ask me to brief them, due to the poor shitty brief from that gurl.
Marines get in and see aliens, arrivals is blocked off (Metagaming) And there's plasma in engineering (Oh, more alien meta)
Marines get on code red due to ONE lose, one of the SLs got trapped in a door somehow and exploded.
Commander says: "k lads u knou guat couzd d issu, now dfnd the slkaco". -> "Ok marines, you got into the nostromo and figured out that the aliens were, now defend the sulaco".
*Not even one marine ever heard of the commander again*
As Delta Sl, with orders to go engineering this russled my jimmies, so i went to the bar and got over 2 alcohol intoxications with medical staff interventions.
After from 1 to 2 or 3 hours of doing dipshit with alcohol, i managed to regroup my squad, we talked about that shit and got into the nostromo, we found 2 more delta members that when ordered to retreat, sticked with this: All of the bravos, and remains from charlie and alpha in the bar, in the "Bravo's base of operations" they had tons of scavenged shit from medbay, and the medics operated wounded there, the engineers settled up barricades and it was pretty intact, i dropped my booze from the sulaco over the bar desk and that looked like a small sulaco.

Then, the shuttle was called, and we all got to escape without any complications but one lose at delta and some bravo and delta members that got to the sulaco, i dont know how they ended, then, when we were at escape, some syndies appeared with "Friendly intentions" and when we got into the shuttle, before arriving to CC, they attacked us and got shrekt.

The main point of all this round is not to trust female commanders, that's it.

---

Yep I've always been into military stuff

Just a bit off topic, what's your specialization as marine or alien? Mine is Delta SL... I usually never play as alien, but if i do, i always try to be the queen.

[johners12345]

Specialization is Delta SL/Delta Medic. Also I I remember that round. Was hilarious and I was the delta that got eaten ;c

[MrGabol100]

Specialization is Delta SL/Delta Medic. Also I I remember that round. Was hilarious and I was the delta that got eaten ;c

The mad dude? Or the medic? Griffin? You were the mad dude? I wanted to crap in your chest after that round, xD

[johners12345]

I was the military police. I was trying to fucking save Griffin and watched as the whole group of xeno morphs turned the corner. I said shit. fell back. Griffin ran right into the fire escape door as it came down. And than next all I heard was his screams as the sounds of gun fire and body parts being caught open from the other side till it fell dead silent. Than they opened the doors and his body was massacred than I took out two of them before they ate me ;c
for those wondering why the military Police were on the station. After the commander disappeared onto the station and was presumed dead. All comms to the ship stopped. Any marines that came back did not mention what was going on. Also all the l.o Officers were Asleep. So The mp Took control of the ship. My fellow FEMALE mp took control and actually did a great job. I was put in charge of all Squads. So me, two borgs, and 3 charlie squad members, 1 delta and 1 alpha gathered up all the weapons we could and went on the station to the bar. Where we found your asses. Than emergency shuttle called. Griffin ran off so I went after him and boom died.

[CampinKiller]

I've never had a good girl commander, and this was my fucking worst:

Commander call us to brief.
Commander says: We have a distress signal dow there, check it out and dont fight.
Marines get into shuttles and ask me to brief them, due to the poor shitty brief from that gurl.
Marines get in and see aliens, arrivals is blocked off (Metagaming) And there's plasma in engineering (Oh, more alien meta)
Marines get on code red due to ONE lose, one of the SLs got trapped in a door somehow and exploded.
Commander says: "k lads u knou guat couzd d issu, now dfnd the slkaco". -> "Ok marines, you got into the nostromo and figured out that the aliens were, now defend the sulaco".
*Not even one marine ever heard of the commander again*
As Delta Sl, with orders to go engineering this russled my jimmies, so i went to the bar and got over 2 alcohol intoxications with medical staff interventions.
After from 1 to 2 or 3 hours of doing dipshit with alcohol, i managed to regroup my squad, we talked about that shit and got into the nostromo, we found 2 more delta members that when ordered to retreat, sticked with this: All of the bravos, and remains from charlie and alpha in the bar, in the "Bravo's base of operations" they had tons of scavenged shit from medbay, and the medics operated wounded there, the engineers settled up barricades and it was pretty intact, i dropped my booze from the sulaco over the bar desk and that looked like a small sulaco.

Then, the shuttle was called, and we all got to escape without any complications but one lose at delta and some bravo and delta members that got to the sulaco, i dont know how they ended, then, when we were at escape, some syndies appeared with "Friendly intentions" and when we got into the shuttle, before arriving to CC, they attacked us and got shrekt.

The main point of all this round is not to trust female commanders, that's it.

Ah yes, I was the squad medic that round. That commander was bad.

Also, you got alcohol poisoning three times, I think it was. I lost track because I kept getting harassed by one of the nurses that I shouldn't be in Medical, so I may have missed some of your alcohol visits :P .

One of my hilarious moments that round, while operating on a bar-counter with bullets flying around everywhere, and dodging facehuggers: Colton Jones slips and sets Blake Griffin's skull IN THE WRONG PLACE.

[johners12345]

Hah. nice. Also the commander got alcohol poisoning 6 minutes into the round. So... That was a thing of the mp trying to get her back on her feet

[MrGabol100]

In the middle of a firefight against aliens, while a bravo medic was operating someone, he asked for painkillers, i approached the dude that was being operated and gave him a whole bottle of vodka, because, i just recently discovered that getting drunk with vodka acts as a painkiller, xD

You feel 100% while you may be 65% like hallucinations.

[johners12345]

Wow.. That is... So... You... Just no

[CampinKiller]

Cohn Jonner says, "How are you crab buddy"
LOOC: CampinKiller: Crab buddy says,"I just want to hug you!"
the alien leaps at Johnny Rico's face!

[SecretStamos (Joshuu)]

I was once a runner in the Sulaco medical section. A marine ran out of surgery, saw me, ran back into surgery and immediately slipped on some soap. I walked over and calmly placed a facehugger on him.

[Rovernic]

So I was playing as Delta SL, Rovern Solzaire, and I had a pretty good squad. Of all the deployed squads, we were the only one to survive with 0 causalities in first contact. Did pretty well, covering a retreat and scoring two alien KIAs.

So we make it back to Sulaco and convince Commander Chucklef**k to let us go nuke the station.

Unbeknownst to us, Commander Chucklef**k was an LO, and promoted himself when the first CO left. This was Commander Chuckles first round on CM. He didn't know you need nuke codes...

So delta, and the surviving members of every other squad, a total of 7 people, take shuttle two and move quickly to the bridge. Secured the disk, got to the vault . Two friendlies KIA holding a diversion at arrivals, Alpha squad members who didn't have the benefit of listening to Delta squad radio chat and the orders I was giving.

So the now 5-6 of us, open the vault and bolt the door closed. No one knew OOCly how to arm a nuke, so we AHELP it. Friendly admin tells me the steps, and we get the disk in. I ask the Co for the nuke codes.

He proceeds to tell us how screwed he is.

I ask for codes again.

Oh boy oh boy is he going down in a blaze of glory.

This goes on for 15 minutes, Command chuckles not giving us the code. He dieds, but not before telling us he never contacted central command.

In the meantime I had been chatting with two admins, mostly about the lack of comptency. One of them then says, by the way, G.G.

They then inform me, as acid is globbed on the vault door, that checking the logs, he never contacted them once. There were, effectively, never any nuke codes, or even a go ahead to try.

Acid melts the door, we are all promptly killed. GG.

TLDR: Command gives us ok to set off nuke, hero charge vault, Commander never contacted central for codes. Everyone dies.

[HyperPwner]

Not CM related, but a funny one anyway.
It's a typical malf round. AI tries to kill me using plasma. I wear a hardsuit plus airtank as assistant (Ally HoP, and the AI forgot to lock EVA.
I go into the hallway.
It's dark
I light my lighter.
As I do, I see the faint image of plasma on the floor nearby.
Aiden Mason says, "Oh fuck."
Bearly survives.
Gets locked in chapel by AI, which allows plasma into the room.
I opt to suicide instead of eventually choke to death.
Lights lighter
Smokes
Fireball created.
Still alive after it dies out, yet is being slammed into everything. Somehow alive.
AI nukes the station.
That section of hallway I lit up earlier is STILL BURNING AFTER A FUCKING NUKE.
Maint drone is also still alive.

[UnknownMurder]

Kelly Mason says, "WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA MOTHERFUCKER!"

[speedybst]

Kelly Mason says, "I WILL BEAT THEM TO DEATH WITH MY TEETH!!!"
Razor is funny

[razerwing]

I try... sometimes.

Err, let's see here... hilarious moments... Ah!

The first time I had Kelly assigned to Delta, the commander was very bad and sent us down with no objective other than hold the bridge. Alpha was sent on scouting, and I think Bravo FoB'd Security, like always. While most of Delta (which was the largest squad at the time) was actually fortifying the Bridge, a few of us broke into the bar, stole the keg and all the flasks, and brought it back.

Pure Drunkitude was achieved by most of Delta while we listened to things fall to hell around our ears. We were still drunk when the aliens found us, and somehow most if not all of Delta made it back to the ship. And thus, Drunk-ass Delta became Squad Competent, and I think we either called in HiT and won, or lost miserably. It was one of the funnest rounds I'd ever had, hehe.

[MrJJJ]

I try... sometimes.

Err, let's see here... hilarious moments... Ah!

The first time I had Kelly assigned to Delta, the commander was very bad and sent us down with no objective other than hold the bridge. Alpha was sent on scouting, and I think Bravo FoB'd Security, like always. While most of Delta (which was the largest squad at the time) was actually fortifying the Bridge, a few of us broke into the bar, stole the keg and all the flasks, and brought it back.

Pure Drunkitude was achieved by most of Delta while we listened to things fall to hell around our ears. We were still drunk when the aliens found us, and somehow most if not all of Delta made it back to the ship. And thus, Drunk-ass Delta became Squad Competent, and I think we either called in HiT and won, or lost miserably. It was one of the funnest rounds I'd ever had, hehe.

I though for a second you meant that round where a commander told everyone to punch kelly mason and also tried to cuff her...it ended badly

[Obey_StyleZ]

I remember when I playedd SS13 wasted and I put on a straight jacket and thought it was a labcoat, I was sulac medic and I had to wait for 20 mins till someone came and let me out of it.

[johners12345]

The above post... Is just amazing. In every way. I feel over-joyed to know I'm not the only one who ever did that. Though the question is.. How would you put the straight jacket on your self 0.0

[UnknownMurder]

I Second The Motion.

[CampinKiller]

Looking back after calming down from initial anger at the recent events:

I was going to be on for 30-40 minutes. Well, I AFK to come on the forums in Briefing as Janitor, waiting for the doors to be opened so I can get water. I come back in to find myself being arrested. I run off, and unhandcuff myself. I am found, shot with beanbags, taken to the Brig. I disarm the MP of their stun baton, stun them, take their ID, and escape. A doctor comes to me, gives me a UI syringe, and the body bag the UI belongs to. I loot the dead guy, head to the Nostromo unbeknownst to the MPs. I head for "my squad's" position in Engineering, am promptly facehugged. Well, I wake up in the nest. I begin to resist. 2 minutes later, I;m out. The aliens are closing on me, I see a resin door behind me, and destroy it...which exposes a breach to space . I am sucked into space, and later burst in space. And become that larva.

[UnknownMurder]

Meh. I was there when the Janitor was arrested.

[Obey_StyleZ]

The above post... Is just amazing. In every way. I feel over-joyed to know I'm not the only one who ever did that. Though the question is.. How would you put the straight jacket on your self 0.0

I DID ... I WAS WASTED AS HELL JUST PUT IT ON :P