New staff position: Morale Officer

[Troika]

Summary (a quick, 2-3 sentence summary):
The purpose of the morale officer is to entertain the crew and raise morale through wacky antics and amusing pratfalls. In this dark, grim future filled with death, we desperately need someone to remind the crew of the lighter side of life.

Benefits (How this will benefit the server and game as a whole):
The morale officer will engage in funny hijinx to cheer up marines and survivors alike. Also, it'll make overly serious people mad.

Details (Description of how you think this would work, the benefits, etc):
The morale officer is a staff side position, basically with no real authority, but has maintenance access (to allow him to pop out of unexpected places!). He will be issued with a box containing a clown suit, clown mask, and clown shoes, an unpeeled bananna, a camera, and a bike horn, as well as a cream pie (if possible). While a certain degree of wacky hijinx and tomfoolery is expected by nature, the morale officer must obey the orders of any other staff officer, as well as not interfere with Marine combat operations (basically should not be trying to slip up/pie people while they're shootin' aliens). Morale officers are not allowed to be armed, ever.

Implementation (Optional, if you have an idea how to implement it):
Bring back the Clown, every day, forever.

[Ordukai]

Colonial Marines Clown, now with more grief than ever.

[MilesWolfe]

Colonial Marines Clown, now with more grief than ever.

We need this... if not only for the sheer comedic value of it...

[Sadokist]

Yea I dunno. Typically clowns aren't going around amusing troops in the military. Doesn't seem fit and I can see it amounting to grief.

[coroneljones]

Obviously it needs to be a commissar

[Sadokist]

Obviously it needs to be a commissar

you and your damn commissar

[coroneljones]

you and your damn commissar

Its an effective job for morale upkeeping and making sure marines dont turtle

[MilesWolfe]

these are the marines not the iron bears

[ChickenShizNit8]

Its an effective job for morale upkeeping and making sure marines dont turtle

I actually sorta' like this idea...

[MilesWolfe]

a commisar wont happen because soviet russia still exists and were talking about the US

[Boltersam]

Its an effective job for morale upkeeping and making sure marines dont turtle

It works for the imperial guard, who have endless supplies of untrained, trigger-happy, underarmed troops.

The Colonial Marines have endless supplies of untrained, trigger happy, heavily armed teenagers.

I don't see a difference.

[Adjective]

Keep in mind, in the real Military, the Government pays for entertainers like Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga ect.. to entertain soldiers on certain occasions.

[monkeysfist101]

In theory the Sulaco would have at least one morale officer. (It had a damn basketball court on board, too.) It would also stand to reason that they wouldn't thaw him/her out during an operation. On top of that, there's no chance in Hell that he'd be a clown.
-1

[Sargeantmuffinman]

- 1 we're marines not comedians.

[Hycinth]

Obviously it needs to be a commissar

+1 TO JONES ALL DAY EVERY DAY.

COMMISSARS TO BE ADDED WHEN

[Daisuke08]

+1 we're not marines, we don't have the discipline for that. I say bring on the clown and let them spray water at the queen! There's nothin wrong with fun.

[WyattH]

The problem is this is the USCM, they would not have some plebian entertainer like the clown aboard. USCM has higher standards for entertainment than that.

They would have a MIME - the superior morale booster

[Sadokist]

Keep in mind, in the real Military, the Government pays for entertainers like Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga ect.. to entertain soldiers on certain occasions.

Indeed but a clown running around.....naaaaah. *grief*

Speaking of that though. A cool idea would be to have a dedicated 'celebrity' as a survivor or something. Like make a survivor Jack Nicholson or something and a side mission is to save them.

[apophis775]

DENIED.
FOR FUCKING EVER.