Why do we still keep physical files?
Don't know, good to have it though, look through his security records
Mike.....Micheal....Mikhail..Found it!
See what we've got on this guy, he is charged with disorderly conduct and being drunk on duty
Fucking russians
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BASIC INFORMATION:
► Show Spoiler
Name:Mikhail Uryurvkovich Dmitri, AKA Mikhail 'Mik' Dmitri
Age:27
Gender:Male
Height:6'0
Nationality:Russian
Weight:104.326 (230 lbs)
Eye color:Light blue
Hair color:Black and in a buzzcut
Languages:Russian, english
Appearance:Tall and muscular, very pale
Birth year:2163
Birth place:Arkhangelsk, russia
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There are personal notes here....
OPERATIONAL LOADOUT:
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Main firearm: M37A2 Pump shotgun w/ Mag harness and bayonet, loaded with buckshot. "My universal translator, it translates 1 message into any language, FUCK OFF"
Secondary firearm: M44 Revolver w/ bayonet. "I use it to finish off my incapacitated kills, it gets the job done"
Favored squad:Delta squad "It always has good comrades to talk with, and some very competent marines most of the time"
Favored deployments: Cold colonies, jungle colonies, red colonies.
Possible roles: Spec, Smartgunner, Pilot officer, Staff officer.
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Well that was no help, what about digital files?
► Show Spoiler
////BOOTING UP....////
PLEASE WAIT....
Welcome to Mikhail 'Mik' Dmitri's personal log!
A little bit about myself: I like to fuck with other marines, i love shooting things, i smoke when i am stressed out and i value my comrade's lives.
I like: Neo-slavic hardbass, THE GREATEST COUNTRY RUSSIA, cold weather, soup, any alcohol, commu-i mean capitalism, medics, big guns and women
I hate: Homosex, french people, burger, idiot amerkanski, creepy soulless baldies, capit-i mean communism, my ex and american made beer
Mother: Irena dmitri (Alive)
Father: Uryurvkos Dmitri (Alive)
Brothers: Andrei Dmitri (Alive)
Spartak Dmitri (Alive)
Avanchel Dmitri (Alive)
Kirill Dmitri (Alive)
Timofey Dmtri (Alive)
Feliks Dmitri (Alive)
Sister: Anastasia Dmitri (Alive)
My early life, nothing to note besides the fact that my mother sung the 200 year old russian anthem to make me fall asleep
My childhood, my father was a fisherman which meant i fished A LOT with him and my older brother, i loved when it was the winter because it meant ice fishing, my favorite activity, my mother tried to [REDACTED], she crashed and lost an arm, i formed very close bonds with my brothers, especially my older one. One of the reasons my mother married my father is because he looked a lot like Karl Marx, and his name literally meant "Hooray! Yuri is in space!" she was abused by her sociopathic mother and her mental scars were sometimes visible
My teen years, my older brother moved out and became a fisherman, i took up a job to protect livestock from wolves, no fucking wolf got past my sights. I killed at least 30 wolves in the span of a month, but one night i finished up my "shift", there weren't many wolves that got near that night and i got drunk because i was bored, i was walking home vulnerable and i was the wolve's nemisis, 5 of them surrounded me and my last thought before waking up the next morning was "Fuck", i woke up the next morning naked and inside 2 cut open wolves, the other 3 were beaten, shot and impaled with my mosin-nagant. I had a terrible hangover and i needed to walk home so i got up, picked up my gun, found my clothes and walked home, there was the police there and when my parents saw me, needless to say they were ecstatic. When i told them the story they were not so pleased, my father was more like "Thats my boy" but i had to quit my job
20s to present day, i moved to america due to a new job oppurtunity there, it was a well paying construction job, i was married to olga at the time, life was great. My grandfather had homesteaded on this newly discovered planet and messaged us everyday, one day the messages stopped and the USCM was dispatched there, my father was very concerned about him, and all they found was smoldering ruins. They won't release the black box audio for some reason, his body was never found. What made it worse was the fact that olga left me, she said she "found better man" and that i fucked like a babyshka. His name was lamar, he was an athlete. I could not perform my duties and went into a depression, i was just getting by and i was on the verge of suicide when one day, i saw a poster for the uscm. I audibly said "Fuck it, what do i got to lose" and went to the recruiters next day, i got over that bitch and got enlisted, and now the present, olga got killed by lamar. The fucked up thing is that the lawyers believe his story of "She fell on the knife multiple times" and that the red on his hands was ketchup. Next time i see him i am putting a full burst of ap into his head. I cannot help but feel responsible but karma is a bitch
Nyxia 'Fifty' Cals is a SMELLY BAGUETTE FROGGY FUCK WHITE FLAG BLYAT, and very good at dying.
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Well i looked through his personal log and NOTHING
You looked through his personal log? You fucking moron
Huh?
You were supposed to look through his security records you fucking baldie
Oh......Well he has 1 count of the same charge
Still doesn't change the fact that you have a baldness of the soul, give him 15 more minutes
Maybe i should've put lipstick on so i could look pretty when i get FUCKED
Hey, maybe if Sargent Baldie over here knew what sec records were we wouldn't have to do this
