A Marine's guide to playing as an Alien - TOPKEK EDITION

[Felkvir]

So you may be thinking, "why do the damn marines get such a good guide, and not the alien master race?" Good question. Good thing for you, i have just the answer to that. RIGHT HERE.



That's right kiddo, this is the guide to how to properly play as a xenomorph!




Da castes

1.0 LARVERS (yes, this is the correct way of spelling larvas) - Annoy the queen and everyone by yelling "mother" into the hivemind in a variety of wrongly correctly spelled ways. Your solemn duty would be crawling around in open space, dragging items larger than yourself and corpses. Never EVER use the vents, cause who needs vents when you can hide under a chair? Brilliant.

1.1 Drones - The hive builders.. However, you are also incredibly useful frontline fighters! Ignore the hive, someone else will probably build shit ... You should first focus on trailing off to search for survivors so you can slash the fuck out of them. That'll show those pesky humans who the station belongs to. After that, you should probably just walk around aimlessly until the current queen dies, so you can become the new one and start your own super cool alien club somewhere on the ass-end of the station. Otherwise, if you find any marines, it's important that you charge directly into them no matter what. Drones always win in head-on engagements, after all. Don't bother using vents.

1.2 Runners - Runners are also frontline fighters, but with SUPERSONIC SPEED and should be used to attack large marine groups head-on whenever possible. Use your superior speed, and spamtackle the fuck out of any you catch until another alien shows up so you can both slash them to death. Your supersonic abilites means that you can outrun bullets, or any projectiles for that matter. GOTTAGOFAST If you don't find any large human groups, just sit back in the hive and yell at the queen for jelly. Don't be afraid to use your speed to push her around, into corners, marine fire and space etc.

1.3 Sentinels - Sentinels are like mechs .... But with claws. They're a bit slow but that's fine, you can still charge directly into marines without worrying about being seriously injured. Your main job is to leave the hive undefended and kill humans with the drones for shits and giggles. Other than that, you usually babysit infected in the hive ... Don't worry though, you can just kill them if you're bored and if they break free. Oh, and you also have a neurotoxin spit. It's pretty useless, though.

1.4 Carriers - Carriers are the lone wolves of the alien hive, and should be left alone to do their own stuff for most of the round. They should preferably leave infected bodies behind in random maintenance passages, and charge heavy marine defenses without any support when the opportunity arises.

1.5 Warriors - THE MOST HOLY OF CASTES. Warriors are the physical angels of the hivemother, and rule over the hive with an iron claw. Their word is law. If a queen tries to defy you as a warrior, you should verbally assault her in hivemind. Tell that bitch to lay eggs and jelly, that'll put her in her place. If it doesn't, just abandon her to the oomans. As a warrior, you are more worth than any other caste in the hive. Show it, be proud of it. Since you are a holy manifestation of divine xeno power, you should always seek to destroy the humans whatever the circumstances may be.

1.6 Spitters - Spitters are acid generators, and should be used to take down obstacles and melt every single item on the map. Don't forget the singularity too. Ignore praetorians, even though they have a stronger acid. Your acid must always be used first.

1.7 Praetorians - AKA Fat-orians, and queen meatshields .. Alternatively, pimped up sentinels. They are strong, but they appear as if they exist solely for defensive duties ... Might aswell just go in the first attack wave as one. For the queen, amirite? Anyways, they can easily take on a squad of at least 10 marines. So slash away! :^)

1.8 RAVAGURRS - Ravagers are what the mortal forms of warriors would be like... Don't confuse ravagers with mortality though. Ravagers are known to be resistant to any kind of damage possible. Therefore they should always be used calmly and straightforward... Take your time when you encounter marines. Walk slowly towards them as you are fired at, and only slash when you get the chance every 5 seconds or so. Ravagers should ALWAYS be chosen after warrior. It's a must.

1.9 Hivepimps - Hivepimps, AKA resin messin', Squishies, *ROAR and other such titles are the hive-slaves of the queen. Which makes them arguably the shittiest caste in existence. One major upside though, and a really fun one is you get to build art out of hive structures! Forget practicality, who the fuck needs that when you can reform the bar into an alien sauna?


2.0 Queen - Useful for shitting eggs every 15 minutes or so, mass producing jelly for the rest of the hive, being spaced, spacing others, ERP'ing with the muhreens, attacking the sulaco alone etc .... The most important thing to remember as a queen is that you should be as slow as possible in everything you do. This will earn you the respect of the hive.


Ayy lmao


Roleplay concepts include spamming hivemind with as many original puns as possible, saying humans are near and never reporting their location or how many they are, or bringing foreign human political concepts into it etc ...

Aliens mark their territories by using acid. So melt everything you find suitable, including machinery because it could be dangerous. Probably. Also melt walls that lead to space. And make breaches without sealing them too so that your nesting areas are nice and cozy. And extra plasma... Aww yiss.

Interacting with the other aliens .. Make sure you ignore all their warnings, and do things like pushing them towards danger or leaving them in near-death. The important thing to remember is to always look away or fuck around when they try to tell you something, and be a constant obstruction to everything they do. This will build trust between you and make sure you are the top species on the station.

Interacting with the marines, you should always spam *roar and *deathgasp near them to disorientate them. Also use /me to communicate with them ... Like this >>> "alien warrior (666) hai guise pls dun shoot we r just neutral aliums k?" If you don't feel like slashing all the marines, you could always be a friendly xenomorph pet and be really kawaii~~~ :3 it's also a good way of staying safe. Don't worry about all the other xenos dying, who gives a shit about them anyways? You don't need them. YOU ARE THE ULTIMATE SURVIVOR. Not even the humans stand in your path, now that you can be their pet and ally instead of an enemy.

Acceptable tactics, include window pouncing, stacking huggers and using closets as biological IEDS, slashing APCs constantly, dragging solid objects around as bullet shields, fullstripping every marine you see on sight, pushing larvas into the front of a gunfight, and making 1000 resin doors in a row so that any fleeing alien will be shot repeatedly in the back by a squad of marines.

That's what you get for trying to make a quick escape instead of facing death glory head on, you little shit.

☆ XENO COMBAT RULES ☆

1. You must ALWAYS CHOKE/GIVE SWIRLIES/CRUSH THE MARINES INTO WINDOWS OR SIMMILAR MOVES, TO PROVE YOUR PRO-NESS, FEROCITY AND UNENDING WISDOM!

If you just slash them, THEN YOU ARE A BIG XENO PANSY! GET OUT OF THE HIVEMIND NOW!

2. Honor the ways of your ancestors. Always charge headfirst into lanes of fire and heavy machineguns. Don't worry about the hail of bullets ... They will only make you stronger!

3. Always cut down the filthy infected ones ... They carry the abominations known as larvas. I mean, why do we even need those? Absolutely horrible.

3. Flamethrowers, you say? PFFFFFFFFT, More like.... lamethrowers. Charge through that fucking fire. Make sure you stand on the orange animated tiles closest to the ooman.

4. Always mutilate the corpses of humans by slash spam, even if their friends are nearby.

5. Always make sure you get onto the host space bird and run around like a chicken with its head cut off, humans are scared of that shit and will simply run away from you. Never, ever, stop moving; are you a pussy? Cause only pussies stop moving on the Sulaco.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________



Now, are you ready to prove yourself for the hivemother? FOR THE XENO EMPIIIRRAH?!? SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEE- fuck those oomans up. Always aim for the head and never infect, and may the force be within you. Sorta.


This is an early WIP, feel free to give suggestions for adding or improving anything.


UPDATE #1 - Added davidchan's alien tactics, slightly modified.

UPDATE #2 - Added Jones' and Helios345's xeno combat rules, slightly modified.

UPDATE #3 - Added contributions from Butterrobber202 and Lostmixup.

UPDATE #4 - Added two new (inspired) combat rules.

UPDATE #5 - More content from Lostmixup ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[Davidchan]

You forgot window pouncing, hugger stacking, randomly slashing APCs, dragging solid objects around as bullet shields, fullstripping every marine you see on sight, pushing larva into the front of a gunfight, and making 1000 resin doors in a row so that any fleeing alien will be shot repeatedly in the back by a squad of marines, thats what they get for trying to make a quick escape instead of facing death glory head on.

[Felkvir]

Aye, forgot about that. Adding it in.

[TopHatPenguin]

One of them needs to be after you get a kill type ayyy Lmao in LOOC

[helios345]

One of them needs to be after you get a kill type ayyy Lmao in LOOC

Kek,

[coroneljones]

Xeno combat rule:
You must ALWAYS CHOKE/GIVE SWIRLIES/CRUSH INTO WINDOWS OR SIMMILAR MOVES,THE MARINES TO PROVE YOUR PRO-NESS,TOPKEKNESS AND DOMINATION!

If you just slash them,THEN YOU ARE A BIG XENO PANSY! GET OUT OF THE HIVEMIND NOW!

[helios345]

A true xeno always runs right towards the heavy machine guns, don't worry about the hail of 50 caliber bullets, you're invincible!

[Butterrobber202]

A REAL QUEEN RUNS IN THEY SCREECHS AND CUTS MARINE'S HEADS OFF! WHO NEEDS BABYS?

[Lostmixup]

Where's the larva tactics yo? What about annoying the queen everyone by yelling "mother" into the hivemind in a variety of wrongly correctly spelled ways. What about running strait into the marines and roaring at them, instilling the fear of 1000 alien suns into them? How about never using the vents cause who needs vents when you can hide under a chair, amirite?

[Felkvir]

I'll add those, is it okay if i modify them and make them longer etc?

[Hailstorm77]

+1 this is the best guide that is out there. 12/10.

[Lostmixup]

I'll add those, is it okay if i modify them and make them longer etc?

Why of course it is.

[Felkvir]

We need MOAR

[coroneljones]

Always run into fire,it makes you stronger.
Remember to teabag all hugged or killed humans,even if their friends are nearby
When a marine shoots you with bullets,it doesnt damage you,infact it makes you stronger,NOW BATHE IN THE FIRING LANES,AND BECOME A PRO!

[Hailstorm77]

Always run into fire,it makes you stronger.
Remember to teabag all hugged or killed humans,even if their friends are nearby
When a marine shoots you with bullets,it doesnt damage you,infact it makes you stronger,NOW BATHE IN THE FIRING LANES,AND BECOME A PRO!

I'm... I'm just so glad you're taking time out of your day to teach us all these things... Bless you!

[Potatohboi]

Add this.please:
Waste all your acid melting pAi's and shit like that.
As a runner,push your almost-crit friends out of the hive,it gets you respect.
As a larva,try to annoy the shit out of the marines by spam hiding and macroing :a HI MUM on the hivemind.

[Felkvir]

We need new stuff, not the same over again ...

C'mon people

[Lostmixup]

When playing as an alien always make sure get onto the host space bird and run around like a chicken with its head cut off, humans are scared of that shit and will simply run away from you. Never, ever, stop moving; are you a pussy? Cause only pussies stop moving on the Sulaco.

Edit how you please.

[Felkvir]

When playing as an alien always make sure get onto the host space bird and run around like a chicken with its head cut off, humans are scared of that shit and will simply run away from you. Never, ever, stop moving; are you a pussy? Cause only pussies stop moving on the Sulaco.

Edit how you please.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8c5wmeOL9o

[Nalsur]

When near oorenes Aliens should allways expect the following with exitement: "Marine unzipsdick!" Cuz everymarine is supplied with a dick zipper for convenience.

[Felkvir]

When near oorenes Aliens should allways expect the following with exitement: "Marine unzipsdick!" Cuz everymarine is supplied with a dick zipper for convenience.

...



















































Go away.

[Briankada]

You forgot the part about warriors camping nests in groups so one can pounce and the other can tacklespam the shit out of the marine whilst they wait for someone to pull the marine back into the nest.

[Lostmixup]

You forgot the part about warriors camping nests in groups so one can pounce and the other can tacklespam the shit out of the marine whilst they wait for someone to pull the marine back into the nest.

Woah buddy, that's some next level shit. That's some super secret spec-ops tactics right there.

[Reuben Owen]

>Tell that bitch to lay eggs and jelly

lol.

[Evilkyle24]

What are you talking about, Hive Lord is the most robust in combat ever. When you play as hivelord, remember to completely ignore any marines shooting you and continue to make resin sculptures in the shape of genitalia. That will confuse and demoralize them when they see how little you care about the bullets.