USCM Dossier: PARKER, ALICIA J

[Dolth]

I called you third, doll. Second best medic is Kyomi.

<3

[Omicega]

I called you third, doll. Second best medic is Kyomi.

<3

Tease too hard and you'll never get added. :frown:

[Dolth]

Well don't read that PM I just sent then. Abort. ABORT!!!

[nerocavalier]

Literally the worst person I've ever had the experience of meeting.

Of all the things I've done, I would never regret bullying them.

Visibly the worst dressed marine.

Exactly the type of medic you'd expect to charge into xenos and die.

YOU'RE NOT EVEN AMERICAN.

Outfitted with two goggles but can't even keep both safe.

Unless I'm wrong, you also have awful taste in movies. Killer ants from space, really.

[Sleepy Retard]

Literally the worst person I've ever had the experience of meeting.

Of all the things I've done, I would never regret bullying them.

Visibly the worst dressed marine.

Exactly the type of medic you'd expect to charge into xenos and die.

YOU'RE NOT EVEN AMERICAN.

Outfitted with two goggles but can't even keep both safe.

Unless I'm wrong, you also have awful taste in movies. Killer ants from space, really.

says the gook...hello??????

[Kesserline]

Ulucio Porkour wurst modac evar!

I need every marine to scorch her name mega hard. Here are some examples :
Ulucio
Olocie
Iliciu
Lolociu
Parkour
Porkour
Pirkar
Purkur

Simple? Grab her name and switch the voyels mega hard.

PS : Alicia is so bad that when she rolls medic, it's always in Alpha Squad.

PPS : Alicia is so mega gay that she uses scissors to cut through resin and weeds.

PPPS : Alicia is so omicega bald that when she tries to take my Delta SL spot, she lands in Charlie and gets wiped in 10 minutes instead.

[Dolth]

Uluciu Purrkurr is the damn THIRD BEST MEDIC!!! WU HU HU.

[BluntForce420]

Kesserline and Dolth both probably think Alicia is a girl IRL lmao

[Tetrino]

Stop bullying best medic >:C

[Kesserline]

Nah, we all know that Omicega can't be a girl IRL.

For what reason ? Because Delta. And delta = only dykes.

YOU CAN'T BEAT THAT LOGIC.

[Dolth]

Kesserline and Dolth both probably think Alicia is a girl IRL lmao

She ain't a girl? Dude wtf. My life is a lie.

[Build_R_]

Sorry Ulysses Parkdoor but I don't negotiate with traps.

[Omicega]

Literally the worst person I've ever had the experience of meeting.

Of all the things I've done, I would never regret bullying them.

Visibly the worst dressed marine.

Exactly the type of medic you'd expect to charge into xenos and die.

YOU'RE NOT EVEN AMERICAN.

Outfitted with two goggles but can't even keep both safe.

Unless I'm wrong, you also have awful taste in movies. Killer ants from space, really.

It's actually three pairs of goggles, come on.

Leaving home with any fewer is just asking for trouble.

You'd know that if you'd actually read the dossier, dumbo.

2 pairs is a sad limitation brought on by our oppressive devs, who have yet to add a goggles pouch for corporals - only PFCs can equip themselves three pairs at once .

[Bancrose]

Alicia Barker.

[Urytion]

Second best Parker.

[Arbs]

Second best Parker.

Youre the inferior parker. Alicia is 10/10 best parker

[Dolth]

Finally, the turth on Ulicio Purrkurr.

► Show Spoiler

And the rest;

► Show Spoiler

[Sneakyr]

I've had the displeasure of playing with this british slag and there was not a single occasion where they did not immediately unga off on LV as SOON as the fog dropped. Had it not been for my intervention, certain death would have followed.

Regardless, Alicia has promised herself to every man on the ship at least once - including Chubs, of all people - and so the only advice I can give is to be careful, if you get my meaning.

[Comrade]

would distribute lindor again

cadburry/10

[DriedMilk]

Literally homosexual

[Carnolus]

Bestest of medics!

[Avalanchee]

If you need 8 splints, a dead lizard, 15 units of Tramadol in your bloodstream and an EORG ban under 30 seconds,

Here is your fricking answer.

[Mikotoba]

Parkind/10

[Frans_Feiffer]

I’d rate 8.5/10, would do the double chunk challenge again.

[Omicega]

Aside from the usual slander from the likes of Sneakyranger, thanks again for the kind words & so forth.

Another section added just below relations because I felt like writing something. More to maybe come.