Funny, Embarrassing, and General OMG Moments

[Egorkor]

ravager here, whoever asked for me. just did my shite, nothing else.

[Warnipple]

Alright lads, let me tell you of a story where I killed a Mature Ravager by myself. Granted it was by a mistake that the Ravager had made but I was the Marine to deliver the punishment. I was playing Specialist in Alpha squad with the M42C Sniper Rifle.

The story starts when the Marines had landed on the Planet without a problem. Telecomms and Nexus were secured without a problem and the Marines slowly moved up to Medical to take over. A campaign had started in the caves at the request of a survivor. The campaign was largely successful, the Xenomorphs were being pushed back but that was when the Xenomorphs decided to board our Sulaco via pod. A big mistake. Telecomms was largely undefended because most marines were at Medical. So the Marines split into two groups. One that stayed behind to clear the caves and one to return to the Sulaco to eliminate the boarders. Fighting back on the Sulaco was fierce. Everyone was barricaded on the upper decks while the returning Marines came and fought on the lower decks. Some came down but not many.

One by one, the Marines were being eliminated slowly by a unrelenting, very red, very big and very deadly beast. Mature Ravager (984). This Ravager had killed many of my battle brothers. I had shot him many times with my sniper rifle, with different types of ammunition but each time he eluded our grasps. Soon only 3 battle brothers and a sentry gun remained on the lower decks. The final death push was coming, my fate was sealed unless I ran but I choose not. I chose to seek my glory in combat instead and to kill the Ravager that had killed so many of my brothers.

We were standing north of the main ladders, where the sentry stood but the Ravager was not afraid. He charged with a Elite Hunter on my battle brother. My battle brother makes the mistake of moving in front of the sentry. He is pounced, he is killed. I ready my sniper rifle for a shot but the Ravager was far quicker as expected of the Xenomorphs. He charges, I'm down and I drop my sniper rifle. He proceeds to beat my face blue but my helmet saves me. I get back up and run north. With my sniper rifle deep in enemy territory, I pull out my side arm, my M41A Pulse Rifle (lol). I fire widely as to deter the Ravager from getting any closer. The Ravager is hit several times and he retreats into the Morgue but not this time..

I give chase, firing widely. Somehow I hit the Ravager, most likely Odin guiding my bullets and the Ravager goes into crit. His comrades, Young Carrier (144) and tries to assist him by hitting me but he is fresh spawn, weak and without any facehuggers. I keep firing until that awful resounding beep and click is heard. I'm out of ammo and Xenomorph reinforcements have arrived. With no time to reload, I drop my weapon and go for the knife in my boots while sprinting towards the Ravager. Young Carrier (144), Elite Hunter (895), Mature Praetorian (575) are trying to hit me but I resist their blows and don't go down. I run and continue to stab the Ravager's corpse until it dies. I'm successful and I finally go down. The Xenomorphs come in to finish the deed but then I receive a miraculous recovery. Destined to go out in a blaze of glory, I pull out a frag grenade and the pin. The Xenomorphs sensing danger retreat wisely. I throw it their general direction and pull out another. I pull the pin but the Mature Praetorian severs my right arm. Too bad the grenade was in my left. The grenade explodes and my last moments are seeing Valkyries descend from the above.

True story.

► Show Spoiler

Some dead chat afterwards

► Show Spoiler

Okay some things to note because it wasn't exactly like that.
- The only reason why I had been able to kill the Ravager was because he didn't tail charge me.
- After the Hunter pounced me, he tried to pull the Ravager back instead of finishing the job which he should've done.
- Knifing the weeds was completely unintentional. I was trying to finish the job.
- My side arm consisted of a M41A Pulse Rifle but it also had a quickfire, barrelcharger and forward grip. Pretty bad odds for that Ravager.
- I had a loaded VP70 pistol that I looted from the Liason's office (he was dead, rip) but it was in my backpack and too far out of reach.
- Its likely that my battle brothers wounded the Ravager or I shot him with my sniper rifle. I can't remember.
- The part where I type is when I'm down. I'm desperately trying to pull out my nade if I could get back up, which I do.

I don't write this to shame the Ravager. More-so to remember this epic battle because everything worked well for me. Against terrible odds, man vs beast and still a confirmed kill.

This was all made possible because of boot knives. Thank you whoever put that in.

[TeknoKot]

Alright lads, let me tell you of a story where I killed a Mature Ravager by myself. Granted it was by a mistake that the Ravager had made but I was the Marine to deliver the punishment. I was playing Specialist in Alpha squad with the M42C Sniper Rifle.

The story starts when the Marines had landed on the Planet without a problem. Telecomms and Nexus were secured without a problem and the Marines slowly moved up to Medical to take over. A campaign had started in the caves at the request of a survivor. The campaign was largely successful, the Xenomorphs were being pushed back but that was when the Xenomorphs decided to board our Sulaco via pod. A big mistake. Telecomms was largely undefended because most marines were at Medical. So the Marines split into two groups. One that stayed behind to clear the caves and one to return to the Sulaco to eliminate the boarders. Fighting back on the Sulaco was fierce. Everyone was barricaded on the upper decks while the returning Marines came and fought on the lower decks. Some came down but not many.

One by one, the Marines were being eliminated slowly by a unrelenting, very red, very big and very deadly beast. Mature Ravager (984). This Ravager had killed many of my battle brothers. I had shot him many times with my sniper rifle, with different types of ammunition but each time he eluded our grasps. Soon only 3 battle brothers and a sentry gun remained on the lower decks. The final death push was coming, my fate was sealed unless I ran but I choose not. I chose to seek my glory in combat instead and to kill the Ravager that had killed so many of my brothers.

We were standing north of the main ladders, where the sentry stood but the Ravager was not afraid. He charged with a Elite Hunter on my battle brother. My battle brother makes the mistake of moving in front of the sentry. He is pounced, he is killed. I ready my sniper rifle for a shot but the Ravager was far quicker as expected of the Xenomorphs. He charges, I'm down and I drop my sniper rifle. He proceeds to beat my face blue but my helmet saves me. I get back up and run north. With my sniper rifle deep in enemy territory, I pull out my side arm, my M41A Pulse Rifle (lol). I fire widely as to deter the Ravager from getting any closer. The Ravager is hit several times and he retreats into the Morgue but not this time..

I give chase, firing widely. Somehow I hit the Ravager, most likely Odin guiding my bullets and the Ravager goes into crit. His comrades, Young Carrier (144) and tries to assist him by hitting me but he is fresh spawn, weak and without any facehuggers. I keep firing until that awful resounding beep and click is heard. I'm out of ammo and Xenomorph reinforcements have arrived. With no time to reload, I drop my weapon and go for the knife in my boots while sprinting towards the Ravager. Young Carrier (144), Elite Hunter (895), Mature Praetorian (575) are trying to hit me but I resist their blows and don't go down. I run and continue to stab the Ravager's corpse until it dies. I'm successful and I finally go down. The Xenomorphs come in to finish the deed but then I receive a miraculous recovery. Destined to go out in a blaze of glory, I pull out a frag grenade and the pin. The Xenomorphs sensing danger retreat wisely. I throw it their general direction and pull out another. I pull the pin but the Mature Praetorian severs my right arm. Too bad the grenade was in my left. The grenade explodes and my last moments are seeing Valkyries descend from the above.

True story.

► Show Spoiler

Some dead chat afterwards

► Show Spoiler

Okay some things to note because it wasn't exactly like that.
- The only reason why I had been able to kill the Ravager was because he didn't tail charge me.
- After the Hunter pounced me, he tried to pull the Ravager back instead of finishing the job which he should've done.
- Knifing the weeds was completely unintentional. I was trying to finish the job.
- My side arm consisted of a M41A Pulse Rifle but it also had a quickfire, barrelcharger and forward grip. Pretty bad odds for that Ravager.
- I had a loaded VP70 pistol that I looted from the Liason's office (he was dead, rip) but it was in my backpack and too far out of reach.
- Its likely that my battle brothers wounded the Ravager or I shot him with my sniper rifle. I can't remember.
- The part where I type is when I'm down. I'm desperately trying to pull out my nade if I could get back up, which I do.

I don't write this to shame the Ravager. More-so to remember this epic battle because everything worked well for me. Against terrible odds, man vs beast and still a confirmed kill.

This was all made possible because of boot knives. Thank you whoever put that in.

I killed a ravager alone like, hundreds of fucking times.

The only time I was proud of killing one, was when I was a doctor and a ravager decided to attack me, cornering me with a bunch of other aliens, I killed him with a pistol. Please, stop flooding with these messages, God.

[Monoo]

I killed a ravager alone like, hundreds of fucking times.

The only time I was proud of killing one, was when I was a doctor and a ravager decided to attack me, cornering me with a bunch of other aliens, I killed him with a pistol. Please, stop flooding with these messages, God.

Christ, don't be such a complete asshole to people. Nobody's forcing you to read their posts.

[Monoo]

Well... RIP

[Azmodan412]

Well... RIP

Lolyea. RIP.

[TopHatPenguin]

Think i'm doing the 4th of July event wrong.

[Bigchilly]

Oh man those 2 rounds were great, the one where marines had to defend the nuke was great. And the other round we all got B18 armor and Miniguns, great banter, never even saw a alien that round.

[SagaSword]

When 3 MPs and a Doctor conducted a CO-approved execution, things didn't quite go according to plan.

Death by spacing turned into a death by suffocation after the sentenced was buckle-cuffed to the chair.

Things got a heck of a lot worse when someone opened the door, probably in an attempt to unbuckle the dying prisoner. This resulted in depressurising the room in which the observers watched, slamming them all into the execution chamber and forcing them all to suffocate along with their prisoner as they were unable to open the emergency shutters.

Though they were eventually rescued by the CO, 3 of the 4 observers did not survive and had to be cloned.

SS13 Execution in a nutshell... xD

[Feweh]

You know it's Toroic when:

1. You see him feeding on a huge throbbing xeno tail.
2. Enjoying to make more arguments instead of stopping, anywhere at all.

Lets both relax.

[Warnipple]

Mods would then go on to play the marines like a fiddle. Thanks Ray :[

[coolsurf6]

Mods would then go on to play the marines like a fiddle. Thanks Ray :[

The best mother combacks are the cheap ones that you dont expect.

[Xaiver3905]

A moment of tranquility on the front. Where the culpability of this dastardly war that had claimed so many brilliant lives from every faction was laid at no one's door. Something out of a fairy tale or an antediluvian moment of honour and mutual respect of an unsaid ceasefire on the coldest, most frigid days of WW1-- where everyone anticipated where they'd be on a Christmas day past all this nonsense.

Until of course.


LOOC: Adam El-Tablawy: daveon literally a huge shitter

[YungCuz]

I swear all the good stuff happens when i'm not here.

[Infant Punter]

[Shyguychizzy]

An embarrassing moment had recently happen to me,was when I was the Commander. I Balto"Crunk"Dreg, in which was the commander from start a round, everything was going well until later the entire platoon dies. By this time the entire planet was overrun by them xenos, I call up the shuttle due to the fact we lost the planet. So the shuttle was fortified, in it were xenos, correct response after failing to defend was to retreat which I did. I go and turn the generators due to the MTs unable to access them, holding my ID I use it to unlock em for the generators which was in the escape pod area. In the canteen there was a sentry set right in the middle of it, so I thought I put my ID back in the ID slot....well I didn't, it was in the armor pockets. So here the CO nonchantely walking down then the sentry turns and fire at me multiple times. Don't even react, I just stop for a minute, and put my ID, then collapsed basically fucking me over that round.

[TeknoKot]

If it wasn't for a fucking baldie going LEEROY JENKINS on the Queen we would've had an awesome fight.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuUWq7qGSro

[YungCuz]

I thought of AVP when i saw this picture.

[Infant Punter]

[DMAN]

keep a brother down for self-defense, shoving me around. Joke is I got my attachments anyhow and did well until a spitter scummed my incend throw and an MP incend shelled me with the tacticool shotty trying to drag me back. Crazy ass and fun round, nevertheless.

[SagaSword]

A Predator saves a marine from getting hugged and then butcher the shit outta him
#PredatorCode

[Mattmaster77]

So during a round where a shitty XO, no surprises, tries to insult me, he and I get into a fight where the ERT lands in the hangar. We both consented, but he cheats near the end, and let's say he gets karmaed.

John Barracuda [Alpha (XO)] says, "Such a pussy for such loud mouth."
August W. Walker [Command (CL)] says, "I shot once, and you chassed shooting at me with your shotgun"
Martin Sauter says, "Even after the cyro cell, my chest still hurts bad..."
Axel Strife [Command (SL)] says, "Delta engineers need some."
Carl 'Dad' Winston [Alpha (SL)] says, "No."
Carl 'Dad' Winston says, "No."
Axel Strife [Sulaco (SL)] says, "Launching."
Carl 'Dad' Winston [Alpha (SL)] says, "I'm taking care of my fucking friend, you dumb cunt."
Carl 'Dad' Winston says, "I'm taking care of my fucking friend, you dumb cunt."
John Barracuda [Alpha (XO)] says, "Ras is going down"
You start climbing down the ladder..
You climb down the ladder!

John Barracuda [Alpha (XO)] says, "I just told you i will handle her."
John Barracuda talks into the marine command radio headset
LOOC: Boron Demonium: wtf is going on?
Carl 'Dad' Winston [Alpha (SL)] says, "I don't give a shit."
Carl 'Dad' Winston says, "I don't give a shit."
LOOC: Boron Demonium: i'm new to this so
John Barracuda [Alpha (XO)] says, "It was just a reason for you to stay on the ship."

Carl 'Dad' Winston [Alpha (SL)] says, "You want to fight with fists"
Carl 'Dad' Winston says, "You want to fight with fists"
Carl 'Dad' Winston [Alpha (SL)] asks, "You cunt?"
Carl 'Dad' Winston asks, "You cunt?"

Reno 'Weenie' Story [Alpha (CO)] says, "Hey Carl, knock it off"
John Barracuda [Alpha (XO)] says, "Alright"
John Barracuda talks into the marine command radio headset
Carl 'Dad' Winston says, "Xur"
Carl 'Dad' Winston says, "Make sure no one tryies to stop us."
You need a suit before you can attach this M41A Pulse Rifle MK2.
You are unable to equip that.
Carl 'Dad' Winston asks, "Ready?"
John Barracuda has thrown USCM Infantry Satchel.
John Barracuda has thrown the m276 load belt.
John Barracuda says, "A shotgun."
Carl 'Dad' Winston has thrown the M37A2 Pump Shotgun.

John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
Carl 'Dad' Winston punched John Barracuda!
Your right foot hurts.
Carl 'Dad' Winston punched John Barracuda!
Carl 'Dad' Winston has weakened John Barracuda!
Carl 'Dad' Winston punched John Barracuda!
Carl 'Dad' Winston punched John Barracuda!
Carl 'Dad' Winston punched John Barracuda!
Your armor softens the blow!
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
Carl 'Dad' Winston punched John Barracuda!
Your chest hurts.
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
Your left leg hurts.
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
John Barracuda has weakened Carl 'Dad' Winston!
John Barracuda tried to punch Carl 'Dad' Winston!
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
Carl 'Dad' Winston punched John Barracuda!
Your left arm hurts badly.
Carl 'Dad' Winston tried to punch John Barracuda!
Your armor softens the blow!
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
John Barracuda has weakened Carl 'Dad' Winston!
Your armor softens the blow!
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
Carl 'Dad' Winston punched John Barracuda!
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
Carl 'Dad' Winston tried to punch John Barracuda!
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
Your armor softens the blow!
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
Carl 'Dad' Winston punched John Barracuda!
Carl 'Dad' Winston punched John Barracuda!
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
Your chest hurts badly.
Carl 'Dad' Winston punched John Barracuda!
John Barracuda fires the M37A2 Pump Shotgun (Wielded)!
The spaceship hull is damaged by the slug!
Carl 'Dad' Winston tried to punch John Barracuda!
John Barracuda fires the M37A2 Pump Shotgun (Wielded)!

The spaceship hull is damaged by the slug!
You grab the M41A Pulse Rifle MK2 with both hands.
John Barracuda fires the M37A2 Pump Shotgun (Wielded)!
The spaceship hull is damaged by the slug!
You fire the M41A Pulse Rifle MK2 (Wielded)! [13/30]
The spaceship hull is damaged by the armor-piercing rifle bullet!
The M41A Pulse Rifle MK2 (Wielded) is not ready to fire again!
The spaceship hull is damaged by the armor-piercing rifle bullet!
The spaceship hull is damaged by the armor-piercing rifle bullet!
The M41A Pulse Rifle MK2 (Wielded) is not ready to fire again!
You fire the M41A Pulse Rifle MK2 (Wielded)! [10/30]
The spaceship hull is damaged by the armor-piercing rifle bullet!
John Barracuda fires the M37A2 Pump Shotgun (Wielded)!
Your face becomes unrecognizible mangled mess!
Carl 'Dad' Winston is hit by the slug in the mouth!
You fire the M41A Pulse Rifle MK2 (Wielded)! [7/30]
John Barracuda is hit by the armor-piercing rifle bullet in the left arm!
The armor-piercing rifle bullet misses John Barracuda!
John Barracuda is hit by the armor-piercing rifle bullet in the left hand!
The spaceship hull is damaged by the armor-piercing rifle bullet!
Something feels like it shattered in your head!
Carl 'Dad' Winston screams!
You hear a loud cracking sound coming from John Barracuda.
John Barracuda screams!
John Barracuda screams in pain and drops what they were holding in their left hand!
You hear a loud cracking sound coming from John Barracuda.
John Barracuda screams!
You fire the M41A Pulse Rifle MK2 (Wielded)! [4/30]
John Barracuda is hit by the armor-piercing rifle bullet in the mouth!
John Barracuda is hit by the armor-piercing rifle bullet in the left leg!
The spaceship hull is damaged by the armor-piercing rifle bullet!
The M41A Pulse Rifle MK2 (Wielded) is not ready to fire again!
Your head hurts badly.
You hear a loud cracking sound coming from John Barracuda.
John Barracuda screams!
You fire the M41A Pulse Rifle MK2 (Wielded)! [1/30]
You unload the magazine from the M41A Pulse Rifle MK2 (Wielded).
John Barracuda screams!
John Barracuda is hit by the armor-piercing rifle bullet in the left arm!
*click*
John Barracuda is hit by the armor-piercing rifle bullet in the right hand!
John Barracuda is hit by the armor-piercing rifle bullet in the mouth!
You hear a loud cracking sound coming from John Barracuda.
John Barracuda screams!
You hear a loud cracking sound coming from John Barracuda.
John Barracuda screams!
John Barracuda seizes up and falls limp, their eyes dead and lifeless...
You are now carrying the M41A Pulse Rifle MK2 with one hand.
You slide the the Marine Combat Knife out of the marine combat boots.
John Barracuda has been torn in the head with Marine Combat Knife by Unknown (as Carl 'Dad' Winston)!
You hear a sickening cracking sound coming from John Barracuda's face.
Unknown (as John Barracuda) has been cut in the head with Marine Combat Knife by Unknown (as Carl 'Dad' Winston)!
Your head hurts badly.
Unknown (as John Barracuda) has been diced in the head with Marine Combat Knife by Unknown (as Carl 'Dad' Winston)!
Unknown (as John Barracuda) has been slashed in the head with Marine Combat Knife by Unknown (as Carl 'Dad' Winston)!
Unknown (as John Barracuda)'s head flies off in an arc.
Carl 'Dad' Winston(as Carl 'Dad' Winston) stutters, "Ch-Cheater."
You need a suit before you can attach this M41A Pulse Rifle MK2.
You are unable to equip that.
You slide the the Marine Combat Knife into the marine combat boots.

[Monoo]

So during a round where a shitty XO, no surprises, tries to insult me, he and I get into a fight where the ERT lands in the hangar. We both consented, but he cheats near the end, and let's say he gets karmaed.

John Barracuda [Alpha (XO)] says, "Such a pussy for such loud mouth."
August W. Walker [Command (CL)] says, "I shot once, and you chassed shooting at me with your shotgun"
Martin Sauter says, "Even after the cyro cell, my chest still hurts bad..."
Axel Strife [Command (SL)] says, "Delta engineers need some."
Carl 'Dad' Winston [Alpha (SL)] says, "No."
Carl 'Dad' Winston says, "No."
Axel Strife [Sulaco (SL)] says, "Launching."
Carl 'Dad' Winston [Alpha (SL)] says, "I'm taking care of my fucking friend, you dumb cunt."
Carl 'Dad' Winston says, "I'm taking care of my fucking friend, you dumb cunt."
John Barracuda [Alpha (XO)] says, "Ras is going down"
You start climbing down the ladder..
You climb down the ladder!

John Barracuda [Alpha (XO)] says, "I just told you i will handle her."
John Barracuda talks into the marine command radio headset
LOOC: Boron Demonium: wtf is going on?
Carl 'Dad' Winston [Alpha (SL)] says, "I don't give a shit."
Carl 'Dad' Winston says, "I don't give a shit."
LOOC: Boron Demonium: i'm new to this so
John Barracuda [Alpha (XO)] says, "It was just a reason for you to stay on the ship."

Carl 'Dad' Winston [Alpha (SL)] says, "You want to fight with fists"
Carl 'Dad' Winston says, "You want to fight with fists"
Carl 'Dad' Winston [Alpha (SL)] asks, "You cunt?"
Carl 'Dad' Winston asks, "You cunt?"

Reno 'Weenie' Story [Alpha (CO)] says, "Hey Carl, knock it off"
John Barracuda [Alpha (XO)] says, "Alright"
John Barracuda talks into the marine command radio headset
Carl 'Dad' Winston says, "Xur"
Carl 'Dad' Winston says, "Make sure no one tryies to stop us."
You need a suit before you can attach this M41A Pulse Rifle MK2.
You are unable to equip that.
Carl 'Dad' Winston asks, "Ready?"
John Barracuda has thrown USCM Infantry Satchel.
John Barracuda has thrown the m276 load belt.
John Barracuda says, "A shotgun."
Carl 'Dad' Winston has thrown the M37A2 Pump Shotgun.

John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
Carl 'Dad' Winston punched John Barracuda!
Your right foot hurts.
Carl 'Dad' Winston punched John Barracuda!
Carl 'Dad' Winston has weakened John Barracuda!
Carl 'Dad' Winston punched John Barracuda!
Carl 'Dad' Winston punched John Barracuda!
Carl 'Dad' Winston punched John Barracuda!
Your armor softens the blow!
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
Carl 'Dad' Winston punched John Barracuda!
Your chest hurts.
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
Your left leg hurts.
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
John Barracuda has weakened Carl 'Dad' Winston!
John Barracuda tried to punch Carl 'Dad' Winston!
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
Carl 'Dad' Winston punched John Barracuda!
Your left arm hurts badly.
Carl 'Dad' Winston tried to punch John Barracuda!
Your armor softens the blow!
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
John Barracuda has weakened Carl 'Dad' Winston!
Your armor softens the blow!
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
Carl 'Dad' Winston punched John Barracuda!
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
Carl 'Dad' Winston tried to punch John Barracuda!
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
Your armor softens the blow!
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
Carl 'Dad' Winston punched John Barracuda!
Carl 'Dad' Winston punched John Barracuda!
John Barracuda punched Carl 'Dad' Winston!
Your chest hurts badly.
Carl 'Dad' Winston punched John Barracuda!
John Barracuda fires the M37A2 Pump Shotgun (Wielded)!
The spaceship hull is damaged by the slug!
Carl 'Dad' Winston tried to punch John Barracuda!
John Barracuda fires the M37A2 Pump Shotgun (Wielded)!

The spaceship hull is damaged by the slug!
You grab the M41A Pulse Rifle MK2 with both hands.
John Barracuda fires the M37A2 Pump Shotgun (Wielded)!
The spaceship hull is damaged by the slug!
You fire the M41A Pulse Rifle MK2 (Wielded)! [13/30]
The spaceship hull is damaged by the armor-piercing rifle bullet!
The M41A Pulse Rifle MK2 (Wielded) is not ready to fire again!
The spaceship hull is damaged by the armor-piercing rifle bullet!
The spaceship hull is damaged by the armor-piercing rifle bullet!
The M41A Pulse Rifle MK2 (Wielded) is not ready to fire again!
You fire the M41A Pulse Rifle MK2 (Wielded)! [10/30]
The spaceship hull is damaged by the armor-piercing rifle bullet!
John Barracuda fires the M37A2 Pump Shotgun (Wielded)!
Your face becomes unrecognizible mangled mess!
Carl 'Dad' Winston is hit by the slug in the mouth!
You fire the M41A Pulse Rifle MK2 (Wielded)! [7/30]
John Barracuda is hit by the armor-piercing rifle bullet in the left arm!
The armor-piercing rifle bullet misses John Barracuda!
John Barracuda is hit by the armor-piercing rifle bullet in the left hand!
The spaceship hull is damaged by the armor-piercing rifle bullet!
Something feels like it shattered in your head!
Carl 'Dad' Winston screams!
You hear a loud cracking sound coming from John Barracuda.
John Barracuda screams!
John Barracuda screams in pain and drops what they were holding in their left hand!
You hear a loud cracking sound coming from John Barracuda.
John Barracuda screams!
You fire the M41A Pulse Rifle MK2 (Wielded)! [4/30]
John Barracuda is hit by the armor-piercing rifle bullet in the mouth!
John Barracuda is hit by the armor-piercing rifle bullet in the left leg!
The spaceship hull is damaged by the armor-piercing rifle bullet!
The M41A Pulse Rifle MK2 (Wielded) is not ready to fire again!
Your head hurts badly.
You hear a loud cracking sound coming from John Barracuda.
John Barracuda screams!
You fire the M41A Pulse Rifle MK2 (Wielded)! [1/30]
You unload the magazine from the M41A Pulse Rifle MK2 (Wielded).
John Barracuda screams!
John Barracuda is hit by the armor-piercing rifle bullet in the left arm!
*click*
John Barracuda is hit by the armor-piercing rifle bullet in the right hand!
John Barracuda is hit by the armor-piercing rifle bullet in the mouth!
You hear a loud cracking sound coming from John Barracuda.
John Barracuda screams!
You hear a loud cracking sound coming from John Barracuda.
John Barracuda screams!
John Barracuda seizes up and falls limp, their eyes dead and lifeless...
You are now carrying the M41A Pulse Rifle MK2 with one hand.
You slide the the Marine Combat Knife out of the marine combat boots.
John Barracuda has been torn in the head with Marine Combat Knife by Unknown (as Carl 'Dad' Winston)!
You hear a sickening cracking sound coming from John Barracuda's face.
Unknown (as John Barracuda) has been cut in the head with Marine Combat Knife by Unknown (as Carl 'Dad' Winston)!
Your head hurts badly.
Unknown (as John Barracuda) has been diced in the head with Marine Combat Knife by Unknown (as Carl 'Dad' Winston)!
Unknown (as John Barracuda) has been slashed in the head with Marine Combat Knife by Unknown (as Carl 'Dad' Winston)!
Unknown (as John Barracuda)'s head flies off in an arc.
Carl 'Dad' Winston(as Carl 'Dad' Winston) stutters, "Ch-Cheater."
You need a suit before you can attach this M41A Pulse Rifle MK2.
You are unable to equip that.
You slide the the Marine Combat Knife into the marine combat boots.

Don't mess with Scorps. He'll go the extra mile to decapitate your bleeding, bullet-riddled corpse with a knife just for funsies.

[Xaiver3905]

[TeknoKot]

(ps, was skyping, i know, not CM related tho, re editting since some fucker added him already.)