Funny, Embarrassing, and General OMG Moments

[Godzillan]

Welp, this just happened. we had a REALLY undermanned FOB in nexus, since most marines had died or been injured. we were covering north when a runner jumped out. we thought nothing of it and shot it some, it ran away. jumped again, so on so forth. then, while we were walking back towards the shuttle 12 aliens including the queen charged from the SOUTH. we had 7 marines overall, 3 of which were injured and 2 more were covering them. me and this other marine retreated to cargo where i was boxed in. he died to a crusher and i died killing a ravager. seconds later we lost LZ1. overall, it happened in 30 seconds

That's actually a lie, we charged from the west (which was completely undefended, granted it was blocked off but I put acid on the walls), the south was also completely undefended and walled off. Moral of the story is; if something's blocked off, it's not always safe. Then again I can't really blame you for not defending those areas it if you only had seven marines, most of which weren't in fighting shape. I think you lost maybe 70% of your marines when you attacked the river and we counter-attacked the medbay because god damn, seven marines in the FOB is real weak. I think some were trying to come from engineering but the closest entrances were blocked off so they just ended up getting captured.

[Casany]

That's actually a lie, we charged from the west (which was completely undefended, granted it was blocked off but I put acid on the walls), the south was also completely undefended and walled off. Moral of the story is; if something's blocked off, it's not always safe. Then again I can't really blame you for not defending those areas it if you only had seven marines, most of which weren't in fighting shape. I think you lost maybe 70% of your marines when you attacked the river and we counter-attacked the medbay because god damn, seven marines in the FOB is real weak. I think some were trying to come from engineering but the closest entrances were blocked off so they just ended up getting captured.

ya. Infact, i already had major burn damage from a sniper, i was barely in fighting shape. we didnt have the marines to hold the nexus but the shuttle was still heading up at the time. and sorry about getting the direction wrong, i was one of those marines and from the looks of it you came from the south

[completelynewguy]

Satisfying.

[Eenkogneeto]

Cripplesquad successful in defending the west side of the rasp

[northcote4]

Satisfying.

Terrorists win.

[SagaSword]

Cripplesquad successful in defending the west side of the rasp

Who said that a marine cannot fight without legs, arms or even brains?

All they need is their stupidness to laugh the enemy to death!

Laughing Majoor Victory!

[YungCuz]

So i was praying to see if admins might do stuff and i got a cookie and asked if it was a spooky cookie gods said it was magical so i ate it then this happened below me.







Host PM from Apophis775: What?


Host PM from Apophis775: That was...

Rei 'Blaze' Poward [Bravo (SL)] says, "Better figure something out."
CPL Ray 'Zero' Robinson [MedSci (Med)] says, "Medical, prepare another body to attach it to, his body is lost"

Host PM from Apophis775: 500,000,000 nutrient...

LCDR Wilhelm Eberhardt [MedSci (XO)] says, "There is no medical."
CPL Ray 'Zero' Robinson [MedSci (Med)] says, "Head is at LZ2 waiting for the pod."

PM to Apophis775: Does this mean i'm going to explode

SSGT Bob Pounders [MedSci (Eng)] asks, "Can anybody use a cloner?"
LCDR Wilhelm Eberhardt [Command (XO)] exclaims, "Bernhaben!"
CPL Ray 'Zero' Robinson [MedSci (Med)] asks, "No doctors?"
LCDR Wilhelm Eberhardt [MedSci (XO)] says, "No doctors."
PFC Lizandro Kovalski says, "I mean"

Host PM from Apophis775: Actually, it looks like your nutrient is broken... you may... starve...

CPL Ray 'Zero' Robinson [MedSci (Med)] says, "Welp... then make sure we don't lose our heads then"
CPL Izoniv Spelweiss [MedSci (Med)] says, "Dang"
CPL Ray 'Zero' Robinson [MedSci (Med)] says, "RIP"
PFC Lizandro Kovalski [Sulaco (Mar)] shouts, "Try contacting WY SL!"
PFC Aleksander Brutin [Sulaco (Mar)] says, "Says there are beasts which want peace. Claims they killed colonists on planet to reproduce. I call bull."
Aleksander Brutin talks into the marine delta radio headset

Host PM from Apophis775: possibly in the next 60 seconds.


PM to Apophis775: Rip me.


Host PM from Apophis775: hmmm... Nutriment 0

PFC Lizandro Kovalski [Sulaco (Mar)] asks, "WY is trying to hide something uh?"
Mr. Alan Kowaski [Sulaco (CL)] says, "You should be detained."
Rei 'Blaze' Poward [Sulaco (SL)] says, "I'm going back to bed, too early to deal with this bullshit"
PFC Aleksander Brutin [Sulaco (Mar)] says, "I do not blame you."
Aleksander Brutin talks into the marine delta radio headset
PFC Lizandro Kovalski [Sulaco (Mar)] says, "See Alan is trying to hide something"

PM to Apophis775: Did i somehow break something by eating a cookie

LCDR Wilhelm Eberhardt [Sulaco (XO)] says, "No. We need you, Poward, to lead the operation."
LCDR Wilhelm Eberhardt [Sulaco (XO)] says, "Return to your post immediately."
SSGT Caryl 'Hail' Bernhaben asks, "What about the others?"
PFC Eden Bode shrugs.
PFC Lizandro Kovalski [Sulaco (Mar)] asks, "Why would CL wouldn't want to contact this xeno species?"
CPL Nikolai Lobachevsky [Sulaco (Med)] asks, "Mother, does the acting commander have the authority to field promote that retarded boot Corporal Bob Pounders to a Major?"

Host PM from Apophis775: Oh... hmm... It looks like your body just "ignored" all the nutrient" more than the "bite size" of 5.

SSGT Bob Pounders [Sulaco (Eng)] asks, "Retarded boot?"

Host PM from Apophis775: You'll probably be fine.


Host PM from Apophis775: probably.

Mr. Alan Kowaski [MP (CL)] says, "I assume, my charges on Kovalski are invalid."
PFC Lizandro Kovalski [Sulaco (Mar)] says, "The CL is trying to cover up something I am sure of it"
SSGT Caryl 'Hail' Bernhaben [Command (SL)] says, "Dropping."
Mr. Alan Kowaski [Sulaco (CL)] says, "P Now I'm being slandered."

PM to Apophis775: Welp....alright then.

[GreyouTT]

"We're all gonna die."

[coolsurf6]

So i was praying to see if admins might do stuff and i got a cookie and asked if it was a spooky cookie gods said it was magical so i ate it then this happened below me.







Host PM from Apophis775: What?


Host PM from Apophis775: That was...

Rei 'Blaze' Poward [Bravo (SL)] says, "Better figure something out."
CPL Ray 'Zero' Robinson [MedSci (Med)] says, "Medical, prepare another body to attach it to, his body is lost"

Host PM from Apophis775: 500,000,000 nutrient...

LCDR Wilhelm Eberhardt [MedSci (XO)] says, "There is no medical."
CPL Ray 'Zero' Robinson [MedSci (Med)] says, "Head is at LZ2 waiting for the pod."

PM to Apophis775: Does this mean i'm going to explode

SSGT Bob Pounders [MedSci (Eng)] asks, "Can anybody use a cloner?"
LCDR Wilhelm Eberhardt [Command (XO)] exclaims, "Bernhaben!"
CPL Ray 'Zero' Robinson [MedSci (Med)] asks, "No doctors?"
LCDR Wilhelm Eberhardt [MedSci (XO)] says, "No doctors."
PFC Lizandro Kovalski says, "I mean"

Host PM from Apophis775: Actually, it looks like your nutrient is broken... you may... starve...

CPL Ray 'Zero' Robinson [MedSci (Med)] says, "Welp... then make sure we don't lose our heads then"
CPL Izoniv Spelweiss [MedSci (Med)] says, "Dang"
CPL Ray 'Zero' Robinson [MedSci (Med)] says, "RIP"
PFC Lizandro Kovalski [Sulaco (Mar)] shouts, "Try contacting WY SL!"
PFC Aleksander Brutin [Sulaco (Mar)] says, "Says there are beasts which want peace. Claims they killed colonists on planet to reproduce. I call bull."
Aleksander Brutin talks into the marine delta radio headset

Host PM from Apophis775: possibly in the next 60 seconds.


PM to Apophis775: Rip me.


Host PM from Apophis775: hmmm... Nutriment 0

PFC Lizandro Kovalski [Sulaco (Mar)] asks, "WY is trying to hide something uh?"
Mr. Alan Kowaski [Sulaco (CL)] says, "You should be detained."
Rei 'Blaze' Poward [Sulaco (SL)] says, "I'm going back to bed, too early to deal with this bullshit"
PFC Aleksander Brutin [Sulaco (Mar)] says, "I do not blame you."
Aleksander Brutin talks into the marine delta radio headset
PFC Lizandro Kovalski [Sulaco (Mar)] says, "See Alan is trying to hide something"

PM to Apophis775: Did i somehow break something by eating a cookie

LCDR Wilhelm Eberhardt [Sulaco (XO)] says, "No. We need you, Poward, to lead the operation."
LCDR Wilhelm Eberhardt [Sulaco (XO)] says, "Return to your post immediately."
SSGT Caryl 'Hail' Bernhaben asks, "What about the others?"
PFC Eden Bode shrugs.
PFC Lizandro Kovalski [Sulaco (Mar)] asks, "Why would CL wouldn't want to contact this xeno species?"
CPL Nikolai Lobachevsky [Sulaco (Med)] asks, "Mother, does the acting commander have the authority to field promote that retarded boot Corporal Bob Pounders to a Major?"

Host PM from Apophis775: Oh... hmm... It looks like your body just "ignored" all the nutrient" more than the "bite size" of 5.

SSGT Bob Pounders [Sulaco (Eng)] asks, "Retarded boot?"

Host PM from Apophis775: You'll probably be fine.


Host PM from Apophis775: probably.

Mr. Alan Kowaski [MP (CL)] says, "I assume, my charges on Kovalski are invalid."
PFC Lizandro Kovalski [Sulaco (Mar)] says, "The CL is trying to cover up something I am sure of it"
SSGT Caryl 'Hail' Bernhaben [Command (SL)] says, "Dropping."
Mr. Alan Kowaski [Sulaco (CL)] says, "P Now I'm being slandered."

PM to Apophis775: Welp....alright then.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bj_jkkNLYyk

[northcote4]

During a defence of the evac pods, marines thought they were safe behind a shield generator.

[GreyouTT]

>Be planet side setting up a FOB at LZ1.

>Xur comes down from the sully all roided to hell.

>Suddenly Xur calls the entire Alpha squad up to the sully.

>Only parts of the squad goes.

>Us planet side keep helping with the FOB.

>Suddenly mutiny has broken out on the sully.

>Alphas who followed Xur are now rebelling alongside Bill Carson.

>Go up with a wounded Alpha (Olando) to explain our side of the story.

>Become part of CSI investigation.

>CE (Noah) suddenly sides with Carson and breaks him out of the brig.

>Hides in disposals with him. (Not before I hit Carson in the leg with a pulse rifle shot, though.)

>I know he did something to my squad, and I'm pissed.

>Manage to talk Noah down into surrendering.

>Finally break into disposals with the MPs behind me.

>Carson is missing, Noah is arrested.

>I start searching the entire ship for the guy.

>Round almost over, and the rogue alphas are finally cloned.

>Last memory they have is going into Carson's office.

>I fucking knew it.

>Mother says Carson is in Disposals.

>Follow Mps in there, turns out he's behind a wall the CE built.

>Break wall down, and the fucker tries to run for it.

>Mps arrest him.

This was incredibly cathartic.

Also here's Xur roiding out:

[SPACEpotato1]

I wrecked Apop, unarmed, in a 1v1. He also had claymore (the sword)

By law, I am now the honourary host

[GreyouTT]

I wrecked Apop, unarmed, in a 1v1. He also had claymore (the sword)

By law, I am now the honourary host

That is amazing.

[SagaSword]

I wrecked Apop, unarmed, in a 1v1. He also had claymore (the sword)

By law, I am now the honourary host

So, can i be your Vice host? :3

[SPACEpotato1]

So, can i be your Vice host? :3

Well, in order for THAT to happen...

You'd have to beat the current vice host, Rahlzel.

It's the way of glorious combat.

[SPACEpotato1]

That is amazing.

It really was. Everyone saying "RIP" in OOC, and Apop spawning as a predator and insta-killing me. I was revived, then I 1v1ed Interro, who wasted his minigun bullets on a window, the claymore got lodged in his skull, literally 1st hit. Then I beat him to death with a minigun.

[completelynewguy]

► Show Spoiler

Moments later...

[RavingManiac]

It took three deaths before they gave up

[YungCuz]

It took three deaths before they gave up

I'm surprised emitters actually did a thing besides area denial.

[RavingManiac]

It probably took a combination of factors. The aliens were being blocked at the other entrances, and the setup was such that if you had the right combination of skill, timing, luck...

Not that those three did, of course

Later in the round, one marine actually ran straight through the corridor with no fucks given. He was only hit once, but the resulting pain made him easy prey for a sentinel waiting at the top of the ladder.

[Warnipple]

It took three deaths before they gave up

Could be metagaming here. It would take a lot of time to rig those emitters and fake walls up.

[Knoxon]

Weyland-Yutani has its priorities straight

[DeadLantern]

Weyland-Yutani has its priorities straight

I still need to kill that fucking dog

[NoahKirchner]

I still need to kill that fucking dog

lmao 69 posts HUEHUEHUE

[RadiantFlash]

The survivors, having kept Lisa alive till they got to the sulaco and throughout the long round, watch as a single marine randomly kills her at the very end.


PMC Anaya Roberts [Command] says, "Or you can force USCM to pay for a new one."

Axel Strife says, "The director is going to be so angry..."
Axel Strife whimpers.
PMC Anaya Roberts [Command] says, "Marines did a poor job of protecting the colony, anyways."
Carmen 'Miss Manners' Wile(as Corporate Stooge) says, "Fuck"
PFC Aaron Mens snores.
Ms. Aisha Basara [Command (CL)] says, "No papertrail, I'll have to buy one off the black market."
Aisha Basara talks into the marine command radio headset
Ms. Aisha Basara says, "No papertrail, I'll have to buy one off the black market."
Carmen 'Miss Manners' Wile(as Corporate Stooge) says, "And that was our meal ticket as well..."
Ms. Aisha Basara [Command (CL)] asks, "Anyone know a deep web dog dealer?"