Funny, Embarrassing, and General OMG Moments

[Crab_Spider]

http://i.picresize.com/URdL

I... I went away for 4 minutes to go make a hotpocket.. It was fine.. Everything was fine.. I came back to this shit storm

Ayyy that cameo!

[johners12345]

Ayyy that cameo!

kekekeke


LT Curtis Weeter [MP (BO)] asks, "MP's can you go teach the RO to not abuse the COmmand channel?"

ENS Bob Burner [MP (RO)] says, "Stop crying you little babby."
SSGT Buppa 'Exe' McGoosh [MP (MP)] says, "Wheres my crowbar, well teach him"

LT Kai Holmes says, "Right. Forgot we have MP's to do the beatings for us."
LT Curtis Weeter [MP (BO)] says, "... Please do not kill him."

ENS Edward 'Wedger' Schmidt [Command (PO)] says, "RASP is on the surface"
Dr. Michael Styles [MedSci (Doc)] asks, "Is the hangar operating theatre set up?"
PFC Tenton Blake [Alpha (Mar)] says, "Sarge, we have wounded coming in, a corpral here saus they need help at the NE Caves"
LT Curtis Weeter [MP (BO)] says, "Put "The Boot" to him. Medium style."

SSGT Buppa 'Exe' McGoosh [MP (MP)] says, "I wasnt gonna kill him, I was gonna break his kneecaps, theres a difference"

SSGT Buppa 'Exe' McGoosh [MP (MP)] says, "Joking"
SSGT Tyler 'Thrift' Borealis [MP (MP)] says, "We ain't hitsquads."

PFC Tenton Blake [Alpha (Mar)] says, "Roger that"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rs6V2oHvwXw

[XenonDragneel]

http://i.picresize.com/URdL

I... I went away for 4 minutes to go make a hotpocket.. It was fine.. Everything was fine.. I came back to this shit storm

lol... my body was there... ATLEAST I SEND THE DISTRESS AT THE LAST SECOND!

[johners12345]

lol... my body was there... ATLEAST I SEND THE DISTRESS AT THE LAST SECOND!

KEKEKEKEKEK


PFC Valentina McTavish [Alpha (Mar)] shouts, "Is the SL gonna be okay?!"

LT Curtis Weeter [Alpha (BO)] says, "The sl is dead."

LT Curtis Weeter [Alpha (BO)] says, "If you consider never feeling anything ever again being okay.. Then yes




LT Curtis Weeter [Alpha (BO)] says, "Sixteen out of twenty three Alpha Squad are still alive"

PFC Maia 'Marshmallow' Archer [Alpha (Mar)] stammers, "H-H-Help."

PFC Maia 'Marshmallow' Archer [Alpha (Mar)] stutters, "Squad, i will d-die."

LT Curtis Weeter [Alpha (BO)] says, "... Make that fifteen out of twenty three still active Duty Alpha Squad..





LT Curtis Weeter [Sulaco (BO)] says, "Well I'm sorry. I HAVE TO FUCKING WATCH TWO SQUADS BOTH FULL OF TWENTY PEOPLE, one is telling jokes AND THE OTHER IS FUCKING DIEING LEFT AND RIGHT"


SSGT Valentina McTavish [Command (Mar)] says, "I have an OB at LZ1. Fucking fire it"
LT Donn 'Tesla' Hoffman asks, "OB ready?"
LT Curtis Weeter [Command (BO)] says, "You didn't arm it"
LT Curtis Weeter says, "You didn't arm it"
SSGT Valentina McTavish [Command (Mar)] shouts, "For fucks sake!"
LT Curtis Weeter [Command (BO)] asks, ".... Good effort?"

LT Curtis Weeter [Sulaco (BO)] says, "In other words, i have better things to do then listen to you whine and yap about boredom."





SSGT Valentina McTavish [Alpha (Mar)] says, "If the bugs wanna die, that's okay. We shed blood in their house, only fair they get the chance to bleed in ours"
SGT Katelynn Silva [Alpha (Spc)] asks, "Where to?"
Mr. Noah Kirchner [Sulaco (CL)] exclaims, "F-Fuck man!"
Mr. Noah Kirchner [Sulaco (CL)] shouts, "Fuck!"
SSGT Valentina McTavish [Alpha (Mar)] says, "Arm up and meet in Hanger"
CPL Jane 'Red' Roche [Alpha (Med)] says, "Come to Requisitions hallway"

Dropship Alert


WARNING: DROPSHIP ON COLLISION COURSE WITH THE SULACO. CRASH IMMINENT. ABORT DOCKING ATTEMPT IMMEDIATELY.


SSGT Valentina McTavish [Alpha (Mar)] says, "Or req hallway"
PFC Sarah Powers [Sulaco (Mar)] says, "CL"
LT Donn 'Tesla' Hoffman [Alpha (BO)] shouts, "Oorah to ashes marines!"
Mr. Noah Kirchner [Sulaco (CL)] exclaims, "Oh god!"
LT Curtis Weeter [Alpha (BO)] shouts, "I mean, I WAS gonna buy you drinks anyway. But FOr you thinking a bribe will work, you can all pay for your own drinks. NOW LETS BURN IN HELL!"
LT Curtis Weeter shouts, "I mean, I WAS gonna buy you drinks anyway. But FOr you thinking a bribe will work, you can all pay for your own drinks. NOW LETS BURN IN HELL!"

Command Announcement


Brace Brace Brace


The wound on Alison 'Ruda' Paczynski's left arm widens with a nasty ripping noise.
CPL Hank Himmler [Sulaco (Med)] says, "TAKE COVER"
You hear a loud cracking sound coming from Alison 'Ruda' Paczynski!
LT Alison 'Ruda' Paczynski screams!
You hear a loud cracking sound coming from Alison 'Ruda' Paczynski!
LT Alison 'Ruda' Paczynski screams!
Your right foot goes flying off!
Your right leg goes flying off!
Your left foot goes flying off!
Your left leg goes flying off!
Your groin goes flying off!
Curtis Weeter seizes up and falls limp, their eyes dead and lifeless...

[TheMaskedMan2]

God damn Valentina is one of my favorite PFC's to be in a squad with, her RP and emotion is fantastic and has inspired me to double down on my efforts right when I was starting to feel it was all for nothing.

[Swagile]

Valentina is a prankster at heart; they make FOB duty not as much as a chore.

[johners12345]

Valentina is a prankster at heart; they make FOB duty not as much as a chore.

Was fun being their BO even when they threatened to kill me.

[Shadow]

This is a bronze heart medal. It is a small item.
A bronze heart-shaped medal awarded for sacrifice. It is often awarded posthumously or for severe injury in the line of duty. In this case it appears to have been awarded to Alex Noble for dying literally 21 times

I WAS JUST DEFIBBED TWENTY TIMES I CAUGHT FIRE TWICE I'M CRYING

END MY SUFFERING

[Azmodan412]

This is a bronze heart medal. It is a small item.
A bronze heart-shaped medal awarded for sacrifice. It is often awarded posthumously or for severe injury in the line of duty. In this case it appears to have been awarded to Alex Noble for dying literally 21 times

I WAS JUST DEFIBBED TWENTY TIMES I CAUGHT FIRE TWICE I'M CRYING

END MY SUFFERING

Can confirm. Funniest shit I've seen since I played the demon lord/dark god frog who feasted on the flesh of the Marines. That's a story for another time...

[Crab_Spider]

One time, while the ayys were beating us back to LZ1, I decided to prove my name by hiding in a locker in Men's dorm with a female PFC name Hannah Rodriguez. So yeah, a Spitter walks by thinking "I'll just flank these guys," unfortunately, this guy should have re-evaluated that thought. Why?

The closest locker he was nearby had me in it, so I jumped out yelling "SURPRISE BITCH!" and unload a large stream of buckshot into the spitter and finish it off with a VP 70

I died, sadly.

[RedOktober12]

God damn Valentina is one of my favorite PFC's to be in a squad with, her RP and emotion is fantastic and has inspired me to double down on my efforts right when I was starting to feel it was all for nothing.

You're far too kind. I just riff off of other people and die almost immediately when combat hits. Generally because I'm chatting shit over comms.

That whole round was s glorious fuck up though. For a first impromptu field promotion, I like to think I made all the mistakes early in my career.

[DyMare]

This is the deadest fucking guy ever.

RIP.

[YungCuz]

He is bleeding internally three times how is this possible

[YungCuz]

One time, while the ayys were beating us back to LZ1, I decided to prove my name by hiding in a locker in Men's dorm with a female PFC name Hannah Rodriguez. So yeah, a Spitter walks by thinking "I'll just flank these guys," unfortunately, this guy should have re-evaluated that thought. Why?

The closest locker he was nearby had me in it, so I jumped out yelling "SURPRISE BITCH!" and unload a large stream of buckshot into the spitter and finish it off with a VP 70

I died, sadly.

How did you die?

[Crab_Spider]

How did you die?

I got FF'd to death and decided "fuck it, I'm logging out". We were holding for quite awhile, but we eventually lost Nexus, you can guess what happened after.

[Casany]

As a CL, I got 10 marines to sign up as PMCs and even got admin spawned PMC uniforms. It was 10/10

[GarlicBread]

I had this one saved from a while ago from when Apop called in a meme ERT because of Dchat



Sweet Dreams most dedicated pizza guy ever

[Crab_Spider]

I had this one saved from a while ago from when Apop called in a meme ERT because of Dchat



Sweet Dreams most dedicated pizza guy ever

That Monster didn't even like pizza... RIP Lorde Paynter, if only you recieved your tip.

[johners12345]

You're far too kind. I just riff off of other people and die almost immediately when combat hits. Generally because I'm chatting shit over comms.

That whole round was s glorious fuck up though. For a first impromptu field promotion, I like to think I made all the mistakes early in my career.

Nah you were awesome, Really made that round fun as hell

[johners12345]

DEAD: Curtis Weeter says, "I put forth a motion to make the Squads into fruits and veggies. Alpha-Cherry, Bravo- Banana, Charlie- Grapes, Delta- BlueBerries. I was gonna say make Alpha Strawberries, But I wanna be able to say whenever Alpha is decimated that "Alpha got their cherries bursted""

DEAD: Young Runner (665) says, "jesus christ this is sad"


I'm pretty sure he wasn't referring to that. But it still made me fucking laugh.



DEAD: Clay Carter says, "what would we replace deltards with curtis?"
DEAD: Curtis Weeter says, "The Deltards are BlueBerries.... OR we can make their offical name Deltards. I Don't care XD"

[johners12345]

You will now be considered for Xenomorph events (where possible).
Vincent Ravenscroft washes their hands using the sink.
Hudson Lowstetter seizes up and falls limp, their eyes dead and lifeless...
SSGT Asmodius Smith [Sulaco (MP)] says, "*f**r * b**** *o se**** *** *he s**** **** tall **ei***"
Dr. Vincent Ravenscroft says, "Sh**"
William Joyce fires the M37A2 pump shotgun!
The spaceship hull is damaged by the additional buckshot!
Carl 'Dad' Winston [Sulaco (RO)] says, "ANOT*** *N*"
LCDR Dan Paladin [MedSci (XO)] asks, "*N******"
Asmodius Smith fires the MK221 tactical shotgun (Wielded)!
William Joyce fires the M37A2 pump shotgun!
Asmodius Smith is hit by the additional buckshot in the chest!
Asmodius Smith is hit by the shotgun buckshot in the chest!
The spaceship hull is damaged by the additional buckshot!
You hear a loud cracking sound coming from Asmodius Smith!
SSGT Asmodius Smith screams!
William Joyce fires the M37A2 pump shotgun!
The spaceship hull is damaged by the additional buckshot!
The spaceship hull is damaged by the additional buckshot!
The spaceship hull is damaged by the shotgun buckshot!
SSGT William Joyce says, "S****"
Asmodius Smith fires the MK221 tactical shotgun (Wielded)!
William Joyce is hit by the additional buckshot in the eyes!
The spaceship hull is damaged by the additional buckshot!
You hear a loud cracking sound coming from William Joyce!
SSGT William Joyce screams!
SSGT William Joyce screams!
Asmodius Smith fires the MK221 tactical shotgun (Wielded)!
The spaceship hull is damaged by the additional buckshot!
Roberto 'Curze' Conrad shakes Unknown (as Ricardo Conerti) trying to wake him up!
the Bloody Larva (958) has been cut with the circular saw by Vincent Ravenscroft.
*click click*
You begin climbing into the Sulaco Operating Theatre I Air Scrubber #1.
You begin climbing into the Sulaco Operating Theatre I Air Scrubber #1.
Asmodius Smith fires the MK221 tactical shotgun (Wielded)!
Bloody Larva (958) is hit by the additional buckshot in the chest!
Bloody Larva (958) is hit by the additional buckshot in the chest!
Asmodius Smith is scalded with hissing green blood!
The Bloody Larva (958) lets out a waning guttural screech, green blood bubbling from its maw.

I ONLY TURNED IT ON FOR 5 SECONDS! ATLEAST I GOT THE MARINE TO FUCK UP THE MP!


You will no longer be considered for Xenomorph events (where possible).
PFC Alejandro Phillips screams!
Vincent Ravenscroft is trying to take off the medical mask from Asmodius Smith's face!
Alejandro Phillips seizes up and falls limp, their eyes dead and lifeless...
Vincent Ravenscroft is trying to take off the anesthetic tank from Asmodius Smith's back!
Vincent Ravenscroft applies some the bone gel to Asmodius Smith's bone in chest.
Carl 'Dad' Winston fires the custom built shotgun!
Bloody Larva (560) is hit by the additional buckshot in the chest!
Bloody Larva (560) is hit by the additional buckshot in the chest!
PFC Adrien Hunter(as Adrien Hunter) stutters, "You lsot my fucking sh-shield"
Roberto 'Curze' Conrad cauterizes the incision on Unknown (as William Joyce)'s head with the cautery.
This is a PREDATOR ROUND! If you are whitelisted, you may Join the Hunt!
Prof. Roberto 'Curze' Conrad (follow) [MedSci (CMO)] says, "HOLY SHIT ANOTHER FUCKIN BURSTER"
Vincent Ravenscroft is beginning to cauterize the incision on Asmodius Smith's chest with the cautery.
DEAD: Alejandro Phillips says, "ripp"
DEAD: Mature Sentinel (871) says, "it happens distressingly often with idiots trying to use epipens"
DEAD: Bloody Larva (560) says, "come on"
LCDR Dan Paladin (follow) [MedSci (XO)] says, "Medical, be more careful."
LOOC: Carl 'Dad' Winston: Oh shit

W-why me ;-;

[forwardslashN]

Cool seeing squad cohesion.

[Imperator_Titan]

Cool seeing squad cohesion.

That's actually pretty cool seeing a squad actually be a squad and not 2d spessmen full of rambos.

[johners12345]

Cool seeing squad cohesion.

How did it end?

[johners12345]

I noticed The guy was dragging MR.Wiggles to the bridge.

DEAD: Bloody Larva (560) says, "Everyone watch Shiloh Caterina"
*---------*
This is Shiloh Catherina!
He is wearing a marine officer uniform.
He is wearing an USCM beret on his head.
He has an USCM infantry satchel on his back.
He has a M276 pattern M4A3 holster rig about his waist.
He is wearing some blood-stained marine combat boots on his feet!
He has a marine command radio headset on his left ear.
He is wearing Shiloh Catherina's ID Card (Bridge Officer).

*---------*
Mister Wiggles is buckled in to the chair by Shiloh Catherina!

DEAD: Young Ravager (107) says, "whats up?"


DEAD: Bloody Larva (560) says, "they saved MR.Wiggles"

DEAD: Bloody Larva (560) says, "what a guy"

LT Shiloh Catherina (follow) asks, "Mr. Wiggles report. How is Bravo team doing?"


DEAD: Bloody Larva (560) says, "... Hes actually talking to MR. Wiggles"
DEAD: Bloody Larva (560) says, "OH MY fucking GOd"
DEAD: Marshall Coates says, "LOL YEAH"
DEAD: Jane 'Red' Roche says, "Lol"
DEAD: Marshall Coates says, "HAHAHA"

DEAD: Mature Sentinel (871) says, "execute mr wiggles 2017"
DEAD: Young Ravager (107) says, "mr wiggles is the greatest"

DEAD: Mature Sentinel (871) says, "mr wiggles belongs in the washing machine"


LCDR Dan Paladin (follow) says, "That's the way to madness BO."
LCDR Dan Paladin (follow) yells, "Finally the CL!"

DEAD: Young Ravager (107) says, "memeeeees"
LT Shiloh Catherina (follow) says, "You may be right sir."
Mr. Michael Carrio (follow) asks, "How is the mission going?"
LCDR Dan Paladin (follow) says, "Oh it's going fine."
LT Shiloh Catherina (follow) says, "Mr. Wiggles report to Michael how its going."
LCDR Dan Paladin (follow) asks, "BO, how is it going?"
DEAD: Jane 'Red' Roche says, "><"
LT Shiloh Catherina (follow) says, "Bravo team is doing amazing sir."

SGT Bobby Dickens gives a derisive salute.

PFC Amir Sandys (follow) [Bravo (Mar)] says, "Sorry squad, but this is goodbye"
LCDR Dan Paladin (follow) says, "It seems to be doing amazing then."

LT Shiloh Catherina (follow) says, "Dan, I'm glad he didn't ask about the other three teams. They are almost completely wiped out."


... But atleast MR.Wiggles is now rightfully a BO

That's a Mister Wiggles.
It's a corgi puppy. MISTER WIGGLES!! HE IS THE GREATEST!




the Elite Hunter (890) kneels over Noelle, reaching out a claw. They slide their claw across her forehead, drawing a long, bloody line.

PFC Noelle Walker ow.

ENS Rhetta 'Radio' Alice wiggles and waggles around in the nest, groaning!
You must be at full plasma to evolve.
LOOC: Young Runner (965): Wiggly, Waggly, Woo~