Funny, Embarrassing, and General OMG Moments

[kroack]

Puck Mike, hero of the Marines Corps.

"Puck Mike was born on LV-990, a alien planet that had a human colony on it, his whole family was killed and he was saved by colonial Marines and since his whole family was dead they let him join at 13. Puck Mike became a Sniper at 14 and killed 250 aliens so the colonial marines promoted him to Lance Admiral. When the alien war broke out, Puck Mike demoted himself to Private First Class so he could be a sniper again and fitgh the aliens."

[Crab_Spider]

[Xurphorus]

I saw quite a few SLs fighting us down there, so I'm assuming you had access to their cams. You should have looked at the Ice Colony map and planned a flank waaaaaaay earlier and ended it. There was no need for it to last three hours. Hell I even saw Xur go down there and get beat up multiple times, and then revived constantly. Whoever set the turret up in the hallway (not sure if that was your order or not) was a smart move, but it came too late when the marines were all mostly dead. This is what the battle looked like for the first two hours.
!

I was the SL that moved the sentry up, I was basically the one keeping that whole assault alive until I went down. It pissed me off that marines didnt try to flank when I told them to move east.

[Rocco Ward]

>Spawn as survivor on LV next to Carmen 'Missy' Wile in Nexus
>We agree to quickly bunker down and fortify the whole Nexus
>Run back and forth between all sides of Nexus while cutting airlock bolts & bolt wire lights, meanwhile Missy is patching holes with grinders
>Things get more tense as we start rushing to seal vents and hear xenos making sounds nearby
>Breach into security and armory for weapons and ammo when we hear a hunter fighting something outside
>We check Nexus airlocks for acid and lo' behold! A hunter has the third survivor pinned down outside the west Nexus airlock
>The survivor has his leg broken and is slowly bleeding out while the hunter points at us and then the airlock trying to bait us to open it
>Two other hunters appear from the shadows
>Spooky shit
>Me and Missy run back to security to grab some c4 to blow the west Nexus airlock and rescue the other survivor
>When we arrive again the survivor is gone and so are the hunters
>Things start crawling in the vents, but we aren't sure if every vent in the nexus welded
>FuckThatShit.jpg
>We retreat back into security and start to bunker down
>Blow open the security locker with a shotgun and grab items off the floor
>Attempt to pickup the stun baton to move it
>Collapse on the floor in pain due to the baton auto-shocking anyone who picks it up who is not a MP
>Xenos breach through the west Nexus airlocks and rush security
>Missy panics and runs inside armory as I am lying helpless on the ground
>Facehugger thou name art Rocco Ward!
>Get dragged off to the jungle and die
>Missy defends armory with a shotgun and metal fortifications waiting for the marines to arrive
>Rasp is fully packed with marines
>Minutes pass
>Rasp is SUPER PACKED with marines
>More minutes pass...
>Rasp is getting flashbanged to hell and not launching
>Acid melts through the armory, Missy is getting attacked by hunters, runners, and sentinels
>It was a valiant fight, but she is no match and tries to flee and is facehugged
>A minute later marines FINALLY LAND!!!
>Watch and laugh as marines bash their heads against nexus airlocks trying to get inside but cannot because all entrances are sealed and they are cucked from entering nexus.

[Clutch]

Was that the round where Joe Walaski tried to fire some warning shots at the approaching MP but ended up killing him instead? If so, it was hilarious watching him.

thats the one

[Casany]

>Spawn as survivor on LV next to Carmen 'Missy' Wile in Nexus
>We agree to quickly bunker down and fortify the whole Nexus
>Run back and forth between all sides of Nexus while cutting airlock bolts & bolt wire lights, meanwhile Missy is patching holes with grinders
>Things get more tense as we start rushing to seal vents and hear xenos making sounds nearby
>Breach into security and armory for weapons and ammo when we hear a hunter fighting something outside
>We check Nexus airlocks for acid and lo' behold! A hunter has the third survivor pinned down outside the west Nexus airlock
>The survivor has his leg broken and is slowly bleeding out while the hunter points at us and then the airlock trying to bait us to open it
>Two other hunters appear from the shadows
>Spooky shit
>Me and Missy run back to security to grab some c4 to blow the west Nexus airlock and rescue the other survivor
>When we arrive again the survivor is gone and so are the hunters
>Things start crawling in the vents, but we aren't sure if every vent in the nexus welded
>FuckThatShit.jpg
>We retreat back into security and start to bunker down
>Blow open the security locker with a shotgun and grab items off the floor
>Attempt to pickup the stun baton to move it
>Collapse on the floor in pain due to the baton auto-shocking anyone who picks it up who is not a MP
>Xenos breach through the west Nexus airlocks and rush security
>Missy panics and runs inside armory as I am lying helpless on the ground
>Facehugger thou name art Rocco Ward!
>Get dragged off to the jungle and die
>Missy defends armory with a shotgun and metal fortifications waiting for the marines to arrive
>Rasp is fully packed with marines
>Minutes pass
>Rasp is SUPER PACKED with marines
>More minutes pass...
>Rasp is getting flashbanged to hell and not launching
>Acid melts through the armory, Missy is getting attacked by hunters, runners, and sentinels
>It was a valiant fight, but she is no match and tries to flee and is facehugged
>A minute later marines FINALLY LAND!!!
>Watch and laugh as marines bash their heads against nexus airlocks trying to get inside but cannot because all entrances are sealed and they are cucked from entering nexus.

I was the guy who caused the clusterbangs, soz man

[Skelton]

Coroneljones in the OOC prior to the round starting "I'm going to have all of medbay arrested get ready boys".

CJ as Commander: No Peridaxon goes out to the combat medics, just bicard and keloderm
MP's: THEY'RE GIVIN IT SIR, THEY'RE STILL GIVIN IT.
CJ: Confiscate the Peri
Every Medic: That's bullshit we're not fuckin' deploying
CJ: Arrest all of medbay.

Marines Mutiny, XO gives the order to relieve the CO of command, Marines storm the bridge and start fighting the CO, somehow he doesn't die and managed to decapitate the XO. This goes on for like 30 minutes.

Meanwhile at Brig, I was permabrigged for punching a doctor (legit like 3 punches) who hit me with sleep chems during the confiscation, the doctor then died and had to be resuscitated. MP comes rushin' in "fuck it we need you out there to help", releases me, let's me gear up. We go around spreadin' the word that the Mutiny is over and the XO is dead and the only other BO that supported him has fled to the planet., everyone back to their stations and get ready for deployment. They actually deploy and eventually aliens get onto the Sulaco as well. Evacuation is called. Distress Signal goes out. Evacuation proceeds. We made it bois.gif

Suddenly God has a hard on for the marines.

Marine Major.

And that's the story of how peridaxon, combat medics, an XO and deploying before the 50 minute mark without shooting everyone who can be considered "the law" actually cause marines to lose..

[TheMusician321]

Space Station 14, pictured here is Alexander Bravard, Broden Ackers, Ed Trevor, not pictured here is Ed Waffles who valiantly died drawing a hunter away from spess station 14.



behold. SPACE STATION 14

Eventually we had to give up the location of it and the mods sent the xenos to it.

[Imperator_Titan]

-snip-

My only problem with it : Revolvers come unloaded so I couldn't become Revolver Ocelot while drifting away in spess before a drone spotted and threw a hugger which eventually got to me.

[Moon Tune]

-

And the admins blow up my solar array ;_;

I thought building in space was completely disallowed?

[TheMusician321]

And the admins blow up my solar array ;_;

I thought building in space was completely disallowed?

It's not, IIRC Kavrick asked Feweh and he said it was cool, we had to take care not to delay though.

[northcote4]

It's not, IIRC Kavrick asked Feweh and he said it was cool, we had to take care not to delay though.

Space installations don't count as 'alive', unless you used blueprints to connect it to the map.

[TheMusician321]

Space installations don't count as 'alive', unless you used blueprints to connect it to the map.

We used blueprints to connect it as we needed the APC to work, so we took the extra care not to delay.

[4thsurviver]

Late join the round as BO about an hour in after seeing that the 2 other BOs that round are no longer active. I do my normal routine and go grab my smokes. As I use the vendor RO grabs me and tells me to follow him, I go with them to their office where I am now informed I am their hostage. I still have my gun and can easily just walk out of the place but I decided to play along for fun. I sit in the office as a CT is puking his guts on their ground next to me and comms are going nuts about this hostage situation. As I sit in captivity I decided to write a journal on what is happening to me. The CE manages to come in and drags me out of there as a MP fights off the RO and he takes me to the hanger. I stand there and remark on life outside of captivity and the RO comes and drags me back. I don't fight them off and go along again. The RO hands me some booze that I store in my bag for later. The MPs eventually raid cargo and I'm free to go and report to the bridge.

I ended up working Cargo myself and handling supply drops for squads where I had to load up crates, put them on the pads, and run to the bridge to launch them myself. Eventually I head back to the bridge and see Charlie squad and then the bridge locks down. I try and allow them a chance to voice their complaints to CO but MPs crack down and flash bang us several times. After they clear the area out I head into the bridge and try and see how the mission is going. As I use a OW terminal I hear shooting and a mutiny has begun. I decide to take a swig for courage and grab the booze the RO gave me. The CO grabs a grenade launcher and goes into his office as I do this.

I start seeing pretty colors and realize my drink has been drugged. I drink some more because it feels amazing. I empty the bottle and CO comes back in and tells me to get ready. I flip the table and draw my pistol and start giggling. Then I start hallucinating a doctor punching me and start freaking out. The marines breached the blast doors and CO engaged them as I just stumbled around the bridge laughing and puking everywhere as the marines and CO fought to the death. The whole time I'm high as a kit and staying out of it and CO loses and ends up on fire as more mutineers poor into the room as I fall down puking some more. Xur looks at me lying on the ground in a puddle of puke asking for more Magic Juice and informs me I'm in command.

[Grumpchkin]

WORDS

Man I was the other CT just trying to do my job while the RO and the CT went nuts with illegal goods, that was a great round.

[MrJJJ]

SO this one is preety weird

I managed to encounter a pred, (Apop to be specific) and he, right infront of me, shoots a guy in the groin, a alpha standard, i give the guy some kelotane, then suddenly run up to him and point-blank shotgun him, breaking his arm/hand, he runs away.

After this, he suddenly runs into nexus invisible, but steps on mine, me and like 5 marines see it, i alt+click where his glaive is and start shooting the shit out of him, he suddenly de-cloaks, and i hear the dreaded bomb...i try to grab him and throw him out, but he suddenly rushes back at the marines (i found out in discord later he was trying to rush at me, but didin't realise i went the opposite direction) and explodes as i run away.

The result was preety much this...RIP apop, the pred who wanted to kill a man who broke his hand.

3 people ended up dead, any others were either revived or lost limbs/heavily injured

(This is the best pred meme i seen so far yet)

Xenos attacked right after.

[Tysonix]

On the same round, Im an Alpha SADAR spec who gets his arm almost torn off by a hunter who came back to almost tear it off again, get psuedo heale- what am I kidding, Arm almost about to fall off? injection, No aid. Finally after getting medical attention, surgery and all the good stuff, I get back down planetside, and bear in mind ive yet to fire a SADAR shot. Im completely suppressed by the horde of spitters and that 1 Praetorian, no matter how much I try to get a SADAR shot, the Praetorian and boiler just walk up into the darkness followed by barrage of spits.

After getting critted by acid 3 times and running to my other medic who was decent and saying, I got a boo boo again. I go for the SADAR kill, nothing, boiler outright aims a gas bomb at me and I manage to run off. Get myself patched up and then I go hunter killer mode only to kill that ONE boiler, fuck the rest, I go into the jungle alone, flank around them behold 6 T1s and 2s and a Boiler and Praetorian, I outright AP rocket the boiler and the runner runs up and rips my helmet off, I go wooop wooop around them, get to a dead end, jolt my way in the middle of all the T1s 2s and that Praetorian, run close to the river, and make my way back to cargo through them all without getting caught, hugged or anything, using the Runner constantly running into me in harm or disarm mode to boost me faster. I make it back alive against the horde. 5 minutes later I do the same thing and destroying another T3 only to get neurotoxined by a spitter and slashed then hugged by the praetorian. I died before I burst and it was a marine major so double GG.

[Swagile]

Got plasma rifled that round by the Elder Predator as a Survivor in Secure Storage for literally no reason at all then rage quit after suiciding since I was going to go into pain crit right after.

[xeno366]

Got plasma rifled that round by the Elder Predator as a Survivor in Secure Storage for literally no reason at all then rage quit after suiciding since I was going to go into pain crit right after.

yeah i was the 2 survivor with you the predator just shot us for no reason and crited us and dint even take our head

[ZDashe]

Whiskey Outpost Borg Major Victory

5th WO Marine Major.png

Previous WO victories: viewtopic.php?f=64&t=739&start=1950#p116890

[Steelpoint]

The Surgical Borgs are far better suited to combat then healing.

Their medical supplies are very lacking, they get only one stack of a advance trauma kit. They can't put people to sleep so they can't operate on them and they can't easily move people around.

What they can do is use their stun prod to stun xenos and beat them to death with a circular saw.

[Swagile]

So...

I die early as a Survivor to hugger combat and decide to just spectate.

Admins like "you wanna build shit in thunderdome?" so im like "ok".

Gives me and another player who wanted to do it as well infinite supplies and let us build.

My fellow player built a jail area and a bunch of chairs as well as helped me finish up the last of the base, while I made a mega fort with two layers of defenses that had hidden walls + metal barricades with a third layer of defense made by my fellow player.

Then the admins are like "yo man wanna do PVP?" and so we join and its MEME TEAM SIX vs RED SHIRT SUPREME. One side had good damage but low accuracy MARS rifles and dragunovs while the other had marksmen and MK2's; MEME TEAM SIX had the latter, RED SHIRT SUPREME the former.

We duked it out for the middle and suffered no casualties except a clipped off leg due to FF on MEME TEAM SIX side since we captured the middle. Next round, RED SHIRT SUPREME got a GL and SADAR and won it by rushing middle with GL spam. Third round, MEME TEAM SIX barricaded themselves in the spawn with three layers of defences and won since they had to push with their GL at front to take us down, which allowed us to focus fire via our firing line.

I was proud to be part of MEME TEAM SIX.

[TheMusician321]

Robot revolution, suddenly cut short by a BSA from Ordukai

[Ordukai]

Robot revolution, suddenly cut short by a BSA from Ordukai

I was trying to work in thunderdome, but every time I moved over to the rightmost side my chatbox got flooded. This is grounds for immediate execution in my books.

[Steelpoint]

The future of Colonial Marines