Funny, Embarrassing, and General OMG Moments

[TehSpoderman]

That's what happens when everyone displays courage and competence.

Also something happened in a recent round to get Feweh mad in OOC

the "I taste salt" part is the best

[Dolth]

I taste plasma caster against a solo xeno vs pred and 3 marine.

[Butlerblock]

As 827 I'll give context. He wasn't salting that much, more just giving me credit for not being blind like the other xenos around me.

3 Fellow xenos got caught in an OBS, and they all got critted without weeds, but none of the xenos around were doing anything, I swooped out of nowhere and threw them all on weeds as fast as I could, and they all lived, I even got caught in the OBS nearly dying getting the first one.

[Blade2000Br]

Other moment would be yesterday where I had to SSD in the middle of the round as standard too many times. I then said "screw it" and hid myself on a locker so my squad wouldn't ditch me.

After I finally am able to get back to my character and open the locker, I spot two predators talking with each other just a few meters from me. They turn and look at me in an akward silence for a few minutes before two other marines rush in and scare then away.

It was the most akward wake up I have ever done.

[Creeper Joe]

Playing as CE. Some guy let a Researcher put his brain into a MMI in the hopes he could be placed in ARES, while I had to disappoint him it sparked a journey toward going to LV-624's Robotics building to make him Cyborg parts.

Well fuck, devs removed the Cyborg parts from the Exosuit Fabricator. No biggie, can just make a MK4 Powerloader to put him in instead.

Then I realised there were no Powerloader mecha boards and after looking in Research I realized the Mappers never put a R&D console+Protolathe anywhere on the map. Gee, wonder how'd they made all those MK4 Powerloader wreckages when there's no way to finish the construction. Sigh.

T' was a shame but a fun journey nonetheless. Round ended afterwards.

[Dolth]

Playing as CE. Some guy let a Researcher put his brain into a MMI in the hopes he could be placed in ARES, while I had to disappoint him it sparked a journey toward going to LV-624's Robotics building to make him Cyborg parts.

Well fuck, devs removed the Cyborg parts from the Exosuit Fabricator. No biggie, can just make a MK4 Powerloader to put him in instead.

Then I realised there were no Powerloader mecha boards and after looking in Research I realized the Mappers never put a R&D console+Protolathe anywhere on the map. Gee, wonder how'd they made all those MK4 Powerloader wreckages when there's no way to finish the construction. Sigh.

T' was a shame but a fun journey nonetheless. Round ended afterwards.

See my thread with Researchers.

[Blade2000Br]

My CT might have got a bit insane.

yes, he did went insane and started to run from the MPs

[Swagile]

Got three attachments that round due to RO's policy.

Fun round.

[Crab_Spider]

Got three attachments that round due to RO's policy.

Fun round.

What was the policy?

[spartanbobby]

What was the policy?

you only get one attachment unless you bring bags filled with M4A3s or MK2 mags to cargo

[Renomaki]

What was the policy?

It was probably a reward system, where marines who brought in bags of empty pistols or other minor metal-goods would be rewarded with a bonus attachment.

You do anything to reduce or remove their weapon mods, they flip their shit and cry for mutiny. But if you try to bribe marines with extra weapon mods in return for small favors, it's amazing what they are willing to do to get that extra weapon mod [that'll mean nothing when they die the moment the fog drops].

It truly is like crack cocaine...

[Blade2000Br]

It was probably a reward system, where marines who brought in bags of empty pistols or other minor metal-goods would be rewarded with a bonus attachment.

You do anything to reduce or remove their weapon mods, they flip their shit and cry for mutiny. But if you try to bribe marines with extra weapon mods in return for small favors, it's amazing what they are willing to do to get that extra weapon mod [that'll mean nothing when they die the moment the fog drops].

It truly is like crack cocaine...

Boi, they steamrolled xenos that round.

And I made my CTs have PTSD and a new mental problem called "STEELCRACK"

[Bronimin]

you only get one attachment unless you bring bags filled with M4A3s or MK2 mags to cargo

How was that received at roundstart? When I first tried that everyone was very confused and getting attachments took forever.

[Blade2000Br]

How was that received at roundstart? When I first tried that everyone was very confused and getting attachments took forever.

It was so well recived that Marines steamrolled aliens 1 hour in the game.

Also alot of metal supplies. and CTs going insane.

[Bronimin]

Ahh, fantastic. I have birthed a great meme.

[Blade2000Br]

Well, I birthed the CTs Memes.

And didn't worked out till that specific round, since most times they were recived with mutinies.

[Swagile]

Escaping and brigging the CMP and one of his MP's in Perma Brig alongside a PMC buddy during an event where I was a doctor who was brigged was some of the funniest shit ive been part of in a while.

Literally only used disarms to stun two MP's to the floor enough to get my PMC buddy up and him using batons on the MP's then buckle cuffing them to perma beds. And then we used the MP's only weapons against them and wiped out three quarters of the MP's in our escape.

[TehSpoderman]

Escaping and brigging the CMP and one of his MP's in Perma Brig alongside a PMC buddy during an event where I was a doctor who was brigged was some of the funniest shit ive been part of in a while.

Literally only used disarms to stun two MP's to the floor enough to get my PMC buddy up and him using batons on the MP's then buckle cuffing them to perma beds. And then we used the MP's only weapons against them and wiped out three quarters of the MP's in our escape.

Can confirm.

[MrJJJ]

This happened last night in the infection round.

I was a MP, and fuck my life there is 200 population on, 3 MP's are already proving they don't know marine law and are sticking their batons and riot helmets out with a TAZER out in the open on code green and the CMP seems to be SOMEHOW not noticing the CO telling him repeatedly to get to CIC.

Somehow we managed to make it without mutinies, being the fact that there is 200 people ON, 180 are about playing, there is obviously not enough chairs in briefing, and someone stole the freaking megaphone so that delayed the briefing a bit, have to keep handling people stabbing and shooting each other...as usual, obviously after briefing ends, somehow DS1 aka Alamo doesn't become a pushing competition and everyone actually settles in there, and into the floor.

But this is where everything goes wrong after just 5 minutes of landing, and it wasn't just the planet, it was the freaking Almayer as well.

After the CMP finally got to CO, turns out we were going to be GUARDING the quarantine, but they won't allow us to carry riot gear and tac shotguns just yet (this would prove to be a really bad mistake later, but i dunno how much it would change if we even had tacticals), afterwards i went to the hangar to check how is the quarantine going to be looking, expecting it to be after like, what? 5 rounds of infection or more in total? that the quarantine will be atleast in some form decent...oh god it was bad.

It was just, and i quote "Marines will be escorted by MP's to quarantine, and us engineer and medical staff will open the doors!" just...what the fuck dude...
There was no way to get INSIDE the quarantine by just simply going down, it was walled off, none of the doors on DS1 were welded, so marines could all fuck off anywhere, and MP's would really struggle to see who is infected and not, ESPECIALLY on a 200+, i already knew at this point we were just screwed.

Anyway, while i am talking to MT's how stupid this entire quarantine they just build is, 4 survivors come up on DS2, one of them being the scientist i think, i dunno, he looked like one, we thought they were non-infected so i just let them go to CIC to meet up with the CO and CL, but the CO seems to have uh...despite BEING there, not react or say anything to those people, CL somehow lost his way, so i spend like 5 minutes trying to figure out what the fuck to do when CMO asks for me to bring survivors to research, so i go do that, he grabs one survivor and puts him in the least secure research, sedates him when he resists, then 2 survivors, INCLUDING THE SCIENTIST GUY, fucking vomit at the same time, everyone that is a survivor gets quarantined and sedated, CMO doesn't strip a guy off his shotgun so he breaks the bloody window, turns after half a minute.

At this point, what follow is a solid minute of me juking the fucking zombie because i don't want to get infected so early, accidentally tazing the CMO, getting him infected, and actually somehow end up killing the zombie, or someone does? i don't honestly remember, the important part is i got the fuck out of there once the CMO finally reached the door, STILL not bitten.

Everything goes to shit, people start turning in medbay, in CIC somehow apparently, basically everywhere, we get code Red so i can finally get a gun, i go back to brig, get the tacticool and riot armor, go back to research, some zombie got out, me and the CMP shoot the shit out of him, then the scientist guy one rises up and comes after us, after some slugs and buckshot, we ran out and i run out of research, starting to reload, CMP tries to do the same, but a another MP, with a freaking PISTOL, constantly pushes him back, telling him to "STAY INSIDE" which actually gets him infected because he can't get out and the zombie is clawing him, what then happens is alot of people shooting each other so i get the fuck out before i become the next victim, after this i just kinda...ran around, managed to settle in cargo, which became one of the two forts, the other being brig, but we had much less people and very few seemingly willing to watch sides, so yeah...also Nyxia in a cute dress was there.

Once Cargo fell apart, i got into a powerloader and started to rush towards the hangar, Nyxia somehow caught up with me, no idea how she lived, but she was preety fine, not sure if infected, but we kept going, sadly powerloader gets destroyed but Nyxia saves me via shaking, we rush to hangar and to brig and a zombie somehow managed to hit me in the left hand, which kinda made me sad, however the brig...it seems like uh...brig was in the process of being overrun, at this point we both split up, i get onto DS2 aka Normandy, and i hear it launching, a zombie chasing me exits it, going after someone else instead, and i am face to face with a zombie PO...named unknown4 for some reason, i fill him up happily at first with slugs then decap him with buckshot, and then treat my wound...i am not getting any infection messages, so i fucking lucked out and did not got infected, woooo!

Once it lands, i rush off from the left side, find 2 dying marines telling me to keep going before they turn, so i do, find Tablefort, start rping with myself, grab some food from there, find the sand temple, get a alien mine and a WAR GLAIVE, i then rped with myself for about 10 minutes, before i heard groans, a zombie named John "Spartan" Murry found me along with some other spec in his squad, because why wouldn't Spartan wanna find me? he steps on alien mine, i put the war glaive into his head...and it gets stuck on first hit...that stuns him...goddammit RNG with your "weapon get's stuck in name!". I fight them both for a bit, lose my hand, but power of stuns is superior and i am still fighting decently but i am starting to run away from there, BUT THEN!

EVERY.SINGLE.ZOMBIE AND NYXIA gets teleported, about 3 times, because everyone kept getting stuck in rocks and shit, on the final teleportation i was stuck in the rocks, 8 zombies or so attacking me, Nyxia died shortly after, turns out she hid under a table and her sprite wasn't visible, once we both died, turns out it was Ordukai who teleported everyone over there, which was preety funny, someone called me a hero for some reason and i got no idea why, i did nothing heroic...

But yeah, my best infection round so far i been on, i didin't even turn into zombie in this one and i was one of the 2 final humans left alive.

[Blade2000Br]

This happened last night in the infection round.

I was a MP, and fuck my life there is 200 population on, 3 MP's are already proving they don't know marine law and are sticking their batons and riot helmets out with a TAZER out in the open on code green and the CMP seems to be SOMEHOW not noticing the CO telling him repeatedly to get to CIC.

Somehow we managed to make it without mutinies, being the fact that there is 200 people ON, 180 are about playing, there is obviously not enough chairs in briefing, and someone stole the freaking megaphone so that delayed the briefing a bit, have to keep handling people stabbing and shooting each other...as usual, obviously after briefing ends, somehow DS1 aka Alamo doesn't become a pushing competition and everyone actually settles in there, and into the floor.

But this is where everything goes wrong after just 5 minutes of landing, and it wasn't just the planet, it was the freaking Almayer as well.

After the CMP finally got to CO, turns out we were going to be GUARDING the quarantine, but they won't allow us to carry riot gear and tac shotguns just yet (this would prove to be a really bad mistake later, but i dunno how much it would change if we even had tacticals), afterwards i went to the hangar to check how is the quarantine going to be looking, expecting it to be after like, what? 5 rounds of infection or more in total? that the quarantine will be atleast in some form decent...oh god it was bad.

It was just, and i quote "Marines will be escorted by MP's to quarantine, and us engineer and medical staff will open the doors!" just...what the fuck dude...
There was no way to get INSIDE the quarantine by just simply going down, it was walled off, none of the doors on DS1 were welded, so marines could all fuck off anywhere, and MP's would really struggle to see who is infected and not, ESPECIALLY on a 200+, i already knew at this point we were just screwed.

Anyway, while i am talking to MT's how stupid this entire quarantine they just build is, 4 survivors come up on DS2, one of them being the scientist i think, i dunno, he looked like one, we thought they were non-infected so i just let them go to CIC to meet up with the CO and CL, but the CO seems to have uh...despite BEING there, not react or say anything to those people, CL somehow lost his way, so i spend like 5 minutes trying to figure out what the fuck to do when CMO asks for me to bring survivors to research, so i go do that, he grabs one survivor and puts him in the least secure research, sedates him when he resists, then 2 survivors, INCLUDING THE SCIENTIST GUY, fucking vomit at the same time, everyone that is a survivor gets quarantined and sedated, CMO doesn't strip a guy off his shotgun so he breaks the bloody window, turns after half a minute.

At this point, what follow is a solid minute of me juking the fucking zombie because i don't want to get infected so early, accidentally tazing the CMO, getting him infected, and actually somehow end up killing the zombie, or someone does? i don't honestly remember, the important part is i got the fuck out of there once the CMO finally reached the door, STILL not bitten.

Everything goes to shit, people start turning in medbay, in CIC somehow apparently, basically everywhere, we get code Red so i can finally get a gun, i go back to brig, get the tacticool and riot armor, go back to research, some zombie got out, me and the CMP shoot the shit out of him, then the scientist guy one rises up and comes after us, after some slugs and buckshot, we ran out and i run out of research, starting to reload, CMP tries to do the same, but a another MP, with a freaking PISTOL, constantly pushes him back, telling him to "STAY INSIDE" which actually gets him infected because he can't get out and the zombie is clawing him, what then happens is alot of people shooting each other so i get the fuck out before i become the next victim, after this i just kinda...ran around, managed to settle in cargo, which became one of the two forts, the other being brig, but we had much less people and very few seemingly willing to watch sides, so yeah...also Nyxia in a cute dress was there.

Once Cargo fell apart, i got into a powerloader and started to rush towards the hangar, Nyxia somehow caught up with me, no idea how she lived, but she was preety fine, not sure if infected, but we kept going, sadly powerloader gets destroyed but Nyxia saves me via shaking, we rush to hangar and to brig and a zombie somehow managed to hit me in the left hand, which kinda made me sad, however the brig...it seems like uh...brig was in the process of being overrun, at this point we both split up, i get onto DS2 aka Normandy, and i hear it launching, a zombie chasing me exits it, going after someone else instead, and i am face to face with a zombie PO...named unknown4 for some reason, i fill him up happily at first with slugs then decap him with buckshot, and then treat my wound...i am not getting any infection messages, so i fucking lucked out and did not got infected, woooo!

Once it lands, i rush off from the left side, find 2 dying marines telling me to keep going before they turn, so i do, find Tablefort, start rping with myself, grab some food from there, find the sand temple, get a alien mine and a WAR GLAIVE, i then rped with myself for about 10 minutes, before i heard groans, a zombie named John "Spartan" Murry found me along with some other spec in his squad, because why wouldn't Spartan wanna find me? he steps on alien mine, i put the war glaive into his head...and it gets stuck on first hit...that stuns him...goddammit RNG with your "weapon get's stuck in name!". I fight them both for a bit, lose my hand, but power of stuns is superior and i am still fighting decently but i am starting to run away from there, BUT THEN!

EVERY.SINGLE.ZOMBIE AND NYXIA gets teleported, about 3 times, because everyone kept getting stuck in rocks and shit, on the final teleportation i was stuck in the rocks, 8 zombies or so attacking me, Nyxia died shortly after, turns out she hid under a table and her sprite wasn't visible, once we both died, turns out it was Ordukai who teleported everyone over there, which was preety funny, someone called me a hero for some reason and i got no idea why, i did nothing heroic...

But yeah, my best infection round so far i been on, i didin't even turn into zombie in this one and i was one of the 2 final humans left alive.

So you are the guy that left when me and all of delta and a few alphas rushed almayer to go in the SD room to blow the god dam ship up? Tch tch.

[MrJJJ]

So you are the guy that left when me and all of delta and a few alphas rushed almayer to go in the SD room to blow the god dam ship up? Tch tch.

Preety much i guess, from my perspective it seems like everyone died and brig was gonna fall soon anyway, so i just ran

[Swagile]

I was the CO that round and I was dealing with IRL issues, hence why I wasn't really "there".

I later cryo'd because I couldn't actively play the round.

[Dolth]

I got banned 3 days for logging off from IRL issues :P.

[Crab_Spider]

I got banned 3 days for logging off from IRL issues :P.

You have a life?

[Zilenan91]

I was in Bravo squad that round, we were very competent outside of the other Engineer who took both stacks of metal and never said a single word the entire round or built any fortifications with it. I'm pretty sure he spaced the metal.

Anyways I set up a bunch of fortifications including a mounted smartgun on the planet that round and closed off the women's dorm. Then we put a bunch of dead zombies in there and I bolted the door shut so they couldn't get out and we had a decent containment going planetside. Elsewhere, it wasn't going so good from what I heard, as marines were screaming and being killed everywhere (though I'm pretty sure a lot of it was friendly fire) and Bravo ended up fucking off on DS2, and our SL asked me if I can get us into the brig.

"I can get us anywhere."

So after I bolt open all the inner doors in the brig I build up defenses in there and it becomes a nexus of activity. Eventually the zombies get to the outside of it right as I bolt it and then admins open up the bolts because zombies can't otherwise get past them (they couldn't on the planet I'm almost 100% sure admins let them in) and I get FF'd a bunch and we all get ate the end


Overall the best test round we had was the first one on Big Red that got ended early. I made a kickass FOB and bolted down every door but one leading into Engineering and the marines had great success both gibbing bodies and containing dead zombies. Hell, there was even SLs coordinating together to pile together a bunch of zombies and gib them with CAS it was fucking glorious. I built a girder setup inside the left part of the FOB (with a wall blocking THAT section of the FOB off) that marines could shoot flamethrowers through in order to kill the zombies. At some point a Weyland-Yutani PMC team got sent to get a cure from zombie corpses but Apop ended the round early and sent us to LV-624 because no latejoiners could actually join that round. I feel like that round the marines were so competent that we actually could have won this if the PMCs knew how to cure the plague. Big Red is probably the best map for marines to do well on in Infection if they're good because of how easy it is to defend LZ1.