Funny, Embarrassing, and General OMG Moments

[johners12345]

Sasoperative is just a relentless flow of Staff action when he gets on the forums. None can withstand his path of foruming.

[UnknownMurder]

The Most... DEMANDING PM...

[Evilkyle24]

The Most... DEMANDING PM...

FOR REAL THOUGH!? What the hell...

Some people...

[UnknownMurder]

[johners12345]

What happens when you put 4 pai's in a bag. two have the directive to be mean, the other two have the directive to be nice. They are mute and use a personal comms to talk. Now imagine what happens.. When that guy, Sets off a frag grenade.. while standing on top of it, Just to break out of genetics... This Happens.
We ended up having to rescue xin from a dead guy.. Guy probably thought he was being cloned. lol nope we came for the pai


What happens when your military has four Military police. A good cop, two bad cops, and a fashion cop.
What happens when they have to answer a call about a doctor making lube to trip everyone?
Well.. You get this..

What happens when The guy tried to escape? This..
What happens when The military police that ''night vision'' injection was actually sulphuric acid? They do this..

[Siserith Vassada]

oh my god

[Evilkyle24]

What happens when your military has four Military police. A good cop, two bad cops, and a fashion cop.
What happens when they have to answer a call about a doctor making lube to trip everyone?

"The paddle is my penis"

I laughed.

[johners12345]

"The paddle is my penis"

I laughed.

... Even on Colonial Marines, I end up in the weirdest of situations, It must be a curse.
5 minutes into me being commander.

Ryder Hill says, "SIR!"
Ryder Hill says, "I feel fear sir!"
Ryder Hill says, "Got kids sir!"
Curtis Weeter says, "Good ."
Curtis Weeter says, "You will probably die than."
Urist Marcotte says, "Candice... wrong area."
Heffy says, "There going to miss you."
Ryder Hill says, "I don't wanna die sir!"
Heffy says, "Oh well."
Curtis Weeter says, "Than don't fear."
Urist Marcotte says, "This is the alpha area"
Ryder Hill says, "Sir i love you sir!"
Ryder Hill says, "Tell my family...."
Curtis Weeter says, "I don't love you."
Heffy says, "Wow"
Ryder Hill says, "I love them...sir..."
Curtis Weeter says, "I don't know your family."
Ryder Hill says, "Its because you are my family sir!"
Candice Shaw puts the flamethrower into the marine backpack.
Curtis Weeter says, ".. OH Fucking hell no."

[Evilkyle24]

Nap Time in the hive.

[TopHatPenguin]

Creepy as fuck...
http://imgur.com/a/yxmVl

[Edgelord]

So it was my first time as Corporate Liason and I am ready to be a piece of shit human being. I put on my eyepatch and go about my business.

The round starts really slow and there is no commander, and I download a pAI named SARGE. I found a marine who was SSD and stole all of his clothes and his ID. While I'm stripping him by the pods a marine happens upon me. I say "I can explain." But he just shrugs and walks away from the very incriminating scene. I throw on the marine's gear, along with a gasmask and his ID and I stow my gear in a locker.

Now for the whole point of my mission: getting a silencer for my pistol, but I didn't want to look sketchy as fuck. So I walk up to the RO desk, have SARGE do all the talking and I order a silencer all while disguised as a marine and not saying a word.

I honestly can't believe that worked.

[johners12345]

So it was my first time as Corporate Liason and I am ready to be a piece of shit human being. I put on my eyepatch and go about my business.

The round starts really slow and there is no commander, and I download a pAI named SARGE. I found a marine who was SSD and stole all of his clothes and his ID. While I'm stripping him by the pods a marine happens upon me. I say "I can explain." But he just shrugs and walks away from the very incriminating scene. I throw on the marine's gear, along with a gasmask and his ID and I stow my gear in a locker.

Now for the whole point of my mission: getting a silencer for my pistol, but I didn't want to look sketchy as fuck. So I walk up to the RO desk, have SARGE do all the talking and I order a silencer all while disguised as a marine and not saying a word.

I honestly can't believe that worked.

I was Curtis, I just kinda watched you do it from the corner XD ( I was the guy in the pajamas on the ground) I had no idea what was going on. Didn't wanna question it and be shot. Isn't SARGE just the best pai?

[UnknownMurder]

[Spacemanspark]

Well, he isn't wrong.

[UnknownMurder]

When I show everyone on server the paste to this forum. 102 playerish.


What happened.


OH DEAR.

[DernSquirrels^3]

Never forget Dean "Chef Excellence" Werner.

[Evilkyle24]

I was laughing my ass off when I saw that happen. The other half of the marines were stuck there with me and the rest of the aliens.

[UnknownMurder]

[Sargeantmuffinman]

I was Curtis, I just kinda watched you do it from the corner XD ( I was the guy in the pajamas on the ground) I had no idea what was going on. Didn't wanna question it and be shot. Isn't SARGE just the best pai?

I wasn't the pAI...................................................................................................................................

[johners12345]

I wasn't the pAI...................................................................................................................................

... There is a pai personality called SARGE... wasn't talking about you.. I don't know you ;c

LONG AMOUNT OF TEXT INCOMING!

Anyways During my last round in the ALPHA test this past week. I got to be a bridge officer and who do I get to lead? BRAVO SQUAD BABY, Who was my bridge officer mates? two guys I didn't know and Luca Trovato AKA Nakhi. So one of Bravo gets taken.. Long story short the SL is dead along with four other people, Charlie and delta is dis-organized and Alpha squad are being a bunch of awesome bad asses. So I merge bravo with Alpha.. The bridge officer for alpha goes brain dead.. Trovato goes down to the planet to organize shit leaving me to watch over Bravo and Alpha, And the other guy to watch over Delta and Charlie.. OR at least whats left of them since they weren't even talking on their radio. So The marines start getting their asses kicked when i remember that SL's get beacons. I have the Alpha sl drop the beacon and launch the ship as the whole hive attacks the ship.. As soon as it takes off... Curtis Weeter shouts, "FIRING CANNON!"
All of a sudden the whole ship rumbles as a good portion of the hive, and the dome are annihilated by A orbital strike Gun. IT was around this point that Shaun ''Death'' Decided to call the shuttle without informing command. This went back 20 times it felt like before Command demoted him.. This was after a mutiny broke out and a charlie squad member rushed into the bridge and started shooting us up.. He was executed.. Along with this I than went ahead and told command the whole situation.. Turns out the commander lied about telling them. ( I didn't try and call him a liar since he was in a looc Argument with one of the mp's about how he was ignoring role play. What really happen was shaun did a Shaun ''death'' head butts Mp making them let go'' Sort of bullshit, But I digress. So Command tells me this is the first they've heard of this yadda yadda yadda, I get some shit under control.. Than command informs me that since I was the only one to tell them the situation, I was now the commander.. HOLY SHIT! I also learned that the shuttle was sent to the planet so what do i do? I become bad ass 12 am Tired as shit Curtis Weeter and get defenses set up, Quiet the riot and watch on the Alpha SL over watch as they battle what remains of the Xeno hive.. Within five minutes they are wiped out and we win, Making me so proud of myself and all of Alpha Squad. That is my story :P

[johners12345]

Central Command Update



MORE TESTING!


The testing has been complete.... You are the first test subjects to ever survive the alien infestation with a great lost.... However... Don't worry, Sulaco... WE HAVE MORE TESTINGS TO DO....

-Aperture Lab


Ss13 portal style game confirmed?

[Lostmixup]

Funny thing that happened in alpha; I'm the XO and we're retreating even though marines are like 39 to 11 aliens. Everyone gets in the shuttles, no problem and everyone is ready to go, we properly got I think everyone boarded as well. Then the shuttle lifts off and, woops, some of them are cut in half, including the one I was on. I immediately go "OKAY NEW PLAN, LAST STAND!" Literally didn't see any aliens the rest of the time and the round doesn't end properly either. A message appeared in chat saying "oops something happened, blame the coders" or something along those lines.

[johners12345]

i-is this a phase?

Central Command Update



APERTURE LAB


TESTING HAS ENDED....IT WOULD SEEM MARINES HAVE FAILED...

BRING IN THE NEW BATCH OF MARINES....

WE MUST KEEP TESTING THE ALIENS.

-GLaDOS

Central Command Update



TEST TEST TESSSSTT!


TIME TO LET THE TESTING BEGIN..... After we nuke the Sulaco... We have more alien lifeforms.... Including...

- T-Virus
- Silent Hill
- FOXIDE
- Body Snatchers

WE MUST KEEP TESTING...

-APERTURE LAB

[tossedsalad]

Ayyy.

[Siserith Vassada]

something funny tonight. begun a round as lo. no one arrived for five minutes straight. then barley anyone came.

did all the usual job stuff. then became an mp. was having fun doing mp stuff. hadant arrested anyone yet. i decided to slip a coworker on soap. all shits and giggles. no one offended. another random mp shows up who was just hired. and tasers me. brigs me for 25 minutes. and demoted me. i then spent eighteen minutes breaking down the door with a bedsheet. i borrow the ssd mp's id. go back and get my stuff back. and reappoint myself mp at the desk using the id. i start going back to the brig. to return the id. when i find the guy that arrested me. i taser him and cuff him..... annnnnd... he immediately goes ssd. i go to brig him. i returned the id. and then the commander runs up and takes him from me. because he has an idea .
he takes the ssd guy to the station and infects him with a hugger. and puts him in xenobio. i however. dont agree with this. so i go and find a way to sneakily contact centcom. on what to do. they give me to a okay to arrest the commander. i find him in the brig. under assault with a mutineer. a large firefight breaks out. of course all that's flying around is tasers. the random bystanders start attacking everyone and a massive brawl begins where the commander escapes to the bridge. he locks down the entire ship with the blast doors. and me and all of alpha work it out and agree to capture the captain alive and demote him. but were trapped. no one has c4. so i ask the freindley medic for some potasium and water. and one of us agrees to sacrifice themselves in order to blow up the wall. (poof) only some sparks. the person using it wasant even hurt. then we think. OH the disposals. and we all dive into them. we arrive at the bridge. but it's blasted down. so i run over to delta and grab two c4. and go back to plant it on the door. the first one blows up and as i am setting the second one. an lo begins shooting me with his pistole. i tazer him. the door blows up. everyone begins pushing and punching and hitting eacother. someone throws a flashbanng half the people get stunned. the other half gets taserd. somehow in the middle of the fight the commander gets critcally wounded. i manged to cuff the lo without getting pushed out of the way. and i cuff him to a chair. the commander had then escaped through and died in the disposals pipe. and the shuttle got called. the end.

lots of rules were broken in this on all sides but it was funny none the less.