Funny, Embarrassing, and General OMG Moments

[Alouette]

Few days ago, on LV, sitting in hydro I trapped a mature crusher with the good old plasteel cade trick.
We killed it easily, everyone started cheering and then I got point blank'd with slugs by Idionski because he was the only one who got hit by the charging crusher.

[Nettle]

Then Delta joined up to help as well

[Dolth]

The previous round from now,

I was XO and Mark Kesserline (my IC nephew) was CO.
We eventually had to call a full retreat and my figure casually died at this same moment, so I went to fetch two cigars, took mine, then told Kesserline to say "Ah" while I was shoving it in his mouth.

Mark 'Echo' Kesserline says, "Matebaaaaaaaaaah."

EDIT :

► Show Spoiler

[Bulaven]

When a colonist attempted to gun me down in the CIC cubicle with a .22, I thought of a few things.

Such as: Nobody searched this woman?

I'm currently being shot in the face.

And: Wow. The .22 is stopped by regular clothing?

Fast-forward five minutes, and I am landing in an LZ which was completely overrun without my being made aware of it, and, after putting a hundred rounds down range in two minutes, I am promptly dragged off of the Alamo as it is launching and killed.

[Vispain]

When a colonist attempted to gun me down in the CIC cubicle with a .22, I thought of a few things.

Such as: Nobody searched this woman?

I'm currently being shot in the face.

And: Wow. The .22 is stopped by regular clothing?

Fast-forward five minutes, and I am landing in an LZ which was completely overrun without my being made aware of it, and, after putting a hundred rounds down range in two minutes, I am promptly dragged off of the Alamo as it is launching and killed.

Most MPs don't search let alone process a civvie.

And by search I mean do more then just check the guy's bag. Check the webbing, the boots, the bag, the pockets. Etcetra.

[liltiptop]

I was a delta medic, and I just got back from Almayer medical, landed at LZ1, and went down to the fight at ETA. I heard that the SL had been killed, and low and behold, I stumble across his corpse. I'm the only one here, and I immediately start trying to revive him. A Lurker and Runner appeared, I traded a few blows with them, but instead of constantly fighting, I kept trying to revive the SL. They watched me, and waited for me to revive the SL. When I fell down from pain they just ran me around so I couldn't revive the SL. They then left me to bleed out in Cargo, but my squad came back to save me. It was the most fun i've had interacting with a xeno as a marine.

[DiscordWizard]

Well, about one or two days ago if I remember correctly I was playing as my regular grunt marine character in a map I can't recall right now, but we were pushing south the aliens down a three tile corridor with other corridors on the side when I see this one marine lead a flank by himself to a side and decide to go help him, because he was going to end up dead all alone. At the point I reached him, one of the fuckers just sprays the floor infront of us with acid and we both trip. They start to drag him away, our marines behind us getting ready to save us, but the best part of all is when our Specialist walks up with the SADAR and fires an AP rocket at the same time I stand up from the acid. Infront of the big xeno target of the Spec. One direct hit later I am a bloody mess splattered across a 3x3 area, the aliens retreat spooked and our specialist and witnesses visibly dying inside.

[ScreamingIdiot]

This is what happens when you breathe down Requisition's neck the whole round.

[Kesserline]

Oh my god.

[DiscordWizard]

I can't even. My poor pulverized sides

[ScreamingIdiot]

Man, that was a wild fucking round. Between the brass meddling with Req the whole round to the RO and me refusing to fuck over the marines for their benefit, then getting brigged, THEN finding out the RO was murdered while I was put away really threw me off my rocker.

Due to the positive response to my shenanigans, I decided to post the rest of what happened.





Massive text dump incoming:


The aftermath, after I escaped the brig and snuck into the execution room so I could show the brass, and I quote, "what it looks like when a MAN loses everything, and how good it feels" as I blew my brains out:


All because people kept calling me a trap. smdh

[Kesserline]

You should have shot yourself in the groin, would have been more appropriate to the current context !

[Sora9567]

...You know, I was wondering what was going on with Req that round...I think I was better off not knowing, holy shit.

[ScreamingIdiot]

...You know, I was wondering what was going on with Req that round...I think I was better off not knowing, holy shit.

Well, it didn't start off like that obviously. It was a sort of slow burn, starting with Heinz yelling at me to only serve Deltards until 12:25 for no reason other than Carson doting on his favorite smurf squad. It went downhill from there when Randal, the SO, kept badgering me for attachments while I was manning the line, so the RO took the fall and was chased around the Almayer by a few MPs. He came for me soon after though I didn't try to run after refusing to give him preference while I was doing my job by the books. After being brigged for 15 minutes I find out that while I was away the RO got in a fight with an SL and died.

At this point, I was feeling incredibly frazzled, so when the brass came to yell at me about not having the metal and plasteel for precious little Delta squad I understandably went off the deep end. After my... Encounter with Heinz, he came back with Randal to teach me a lesson. The results were not what they intended. After that motherfucking Bill Carson and the rest of the brass show up to exchange words, resulting in an incredibly backfired attempt at intimidating me.

So, after being brigged the second time, the MP who stuck me there somehow forgot to take off the Machete I was carrying which allowed me to easily break out when they weren't looking. After that, I holed up in the execution room and called Heinz over, the results of which are seen in my previous post.

Inbetween all this were multiple people calling me a trap and/or mistaking me for a girl, to the obvious detriment of my mental stability.

10/10 would strip for the brass again

[Gigazer]

I somewhat have seen some of those conversations, though, I was distracted on how did that Diego character even became a bravo SL and not know what a FOB is or why didn't he just go for a PFC in that round.

[tobinerd]

I as a CMO just got caught hiding in my closet after being chased. Before me stands an Elder Defender, and having nothing better to do, I punch it right in the face.
And to my surprise, the defender was instantly GIBBED.

It seems, that the admins had accidentally made human punches do enough damage to gib. It was only for a couple of minutes, but it was right when I punched that defender.
And that's the story of how Alice Hekmatyar became One Punch Girl.

► Show Spoiler

Ironically enough, shortly after I gibbed the defender, a ravager devoured me. And I was taken to SD where a marine blew up the ravager with a grenade.
The ravager survived, but I was gibbed from inside it. The marines certainly got surprised by CMO's limbs going everywhere from nowhere.

[Grubstank]

I as a CMO just got caught hiding in my closet after being chased. Before me stands an Elder Defender, and having nothing better to do, I punch it right in the face.
And to my surprise, the defender was instantly GIBBED.

It seems, that the admins had accidentally made human punches do enough damage to gib. It was only for a couple of minutes, but it was right when I punched that defender.
And that's the story of how Alice Hekmatyar became One Punch Girl.

► Show Spoiler

Ironically enough, shortly after I gibbed the defender, a ravager devoured me. And I was taken to SD where a marine blew up the ravager with a grenade.
The ravager survived, but I was gibbed from inside it. The marines certainly got surprised by CMO's limbs going everywhere from nowhere.

My favorite story so far

[ScreamingIdiot]

I as a CMO just got caught hiding in my closet after being chased. Before me stands an Elder Defender, and having nothing better to do, I punch it right in the face.
And to my surprise, the defender was instantly GIBBED.

It seems, that the admins had accidentally made human punches do enough damage to gib. It was only for a couple of minutes, but it was right when I punched that defender.
And that's the story of how Alice Hekmatyar became One Punch Girl.

► Show Spoiler

Ironically enough, shortly after I gibbed the defender, a ravager devoured me. And I was taken to SD where a marine blew up the ravager with a grenade.
The ravager survived, but I was gibbed from inside it. The marines certainly got surprised by CMO's limbs going everywhere from nowhere.

You better use an appropriate nickname from now on like "Saitama" or "Oppai."

[Garrison]

Few minutes ago from now on LV-624. Aliens had just pushed the Marines off the planet, but not at the cost of their Queen. Two Marines had been left behind north of the river, and Command sent down a team with the Normandy to retrieve them.

During that time, Dallas Weeter, and Pierce Jackson, the two marines stranded behind enemy lines, stumbled upon the replacement queen on their way to the Robotics dome, they quickly fled. After they huddled together at hydroponics. Pierce simply stated: "We have to kill it".

They circled through the jungle, and made it to LZ 2 and the commanders urgent pleading at them to hurry up since the Normandy was almost there. They went into the Robotics dome and spotted the queen and her small Vanguard. Taken completely by surprise. Dallas and Pierce charged in, Dallas got pounced immediately, and was slashed to death upon firing his shotgun at the queen.

Pierce fired off another shot as Dallas screamed his last breath. The defender smashed Peirce to the ground, and in a desperate adrenaline fueled moment, Peirce got up, and shot the queen and jabbed his bayonet into it. Killing the queen before he succumbed to his injures and vengeful slashing.

Freaking... GOLD!

[DriedMilk]

I as a CMO just got caught hiding in my closet after being chased. Before me stands an Elder Defender, and having nothing better to do, I punch it right in the face.
And to my surprise, the defender was instantly GIBBED.

It seems, that the admins had accidentally made human punches do enough damage to gib. It was only for a couple of minutes, but it was right when I punched that defender.
And that's the story of how Alice Hekmatyar became One Punch Girl.

► Show Spoiler

Ironically enough, shortly after I gibbed the defender, a ravager devoured me. And I was taken to SD where a marine blew up the ravager with a grenade.
The ravager survived, but I was gibbed from inside it. The marines certainly got surprised by CMO's limbs going everywhere from nowhere.

Rav boi here, I was dragging you around. You somehow got unlucky enough that your tackle timer stopped and you stood up just the right moment the AT rocket got fired.

[edgardo]

This is what happens when you breathe down Requisition's neck the whole round.

HHAHHAHAAHHAAH

[edgardo]

The Round where i was doing a 4 shotguns loadout and a lurker missed over 5 buckshots shells by RNG



it was frustrating and funny at the same time

[Dolth]

This is what happens when you breathe down Requisition's neck the whole round.

Hoooolyyyyyy shit. One of the funniest I ever saw yet

[DiscordWizard]

I felt shame

[z a n e b o t]

this cannot stand you degenerate