Funny, Embarrassing, and General OMG Moments

[Edgelord]

May-June 'SaltSteps' Unk says, "I've fucked an echidna before. It wasn't a fun phase of mine, I'm not proud at all."


TMI!!

I just wanted to haunt the bitch ;-;

May-June 'SaltSteps' Unk says, "I am being haunted because I blew up someone's brain with a micro powder charge."
May-June 'SaltSteps' Unk says, "They want me to grow pot, and you have the only planter.

That literally happened 5 minutes ago haha I'm a cargo tech this round.

[UNDUS]

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me: thy Armat™ Sentry Guns and thy M240 Incinerator Unit, they comfort me.

[johners12345]

Ronald Sloan says, "You are badass marines, and you are going to make your kid sisters proud"
Seth Ziggler says, "Ronald thats kinda gay yo..."
Curtis Weeter says, "... My kid sister is dead."
Curtis Weeter(as Curtis Weeter) shouts, "RAPIST!!"
Curtis Weeter [Sulaco (Mar)] shouts, "RAPIST!!"
*Guy steps on landing pad just as shuttle lands*
Ravenn Blackfeather's right foot flies off in an arc.
Ravenn Blackfeather's right leg flies off in an arc.
Ravenn Blackfeather's left foot flies off in an arc.
Ravenn Blackfeather's left leg flies off in an arc.
Ravenn Blackfeather's groin flies off in an arc.
Ravenn Blackfeather seizes up and falls limp, their eyes dead and lifeless...
Ravenn Blackfeather's head flies off in an arc.
Ravenn Blackfeather's left hand flies off in an arc.
Ravenn Blackfeather's left arm flies off in an arc.
Ravenn Blackfeather's right hand flies off in an arc.
Ravenn Blackfeather's right arm flies off in an arc.

[Expired Torpedo]

Capture4.PNG

[johners12345]

DEAD: Curtis Weeter says, "so I baked brownies in chemistry because ya know CHEMISTRY IS ALL AROUUND USS But on our cooking sheet, #1 had one sentence #2 had two and #3 had three. So.. Three +three=six, six +2+2 equals ten, and ten +1 + 1 =12, #4 Didn't have 4 sentences, it Had one. So 12 divided by 4 equals Three... A triangle has three sides... ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED BAKERS #JETFUELCAN'TMELTSTEEL!!"
DEAD: Ian Seidner says, "i would like if the floor of the planet dont are made of paper"
DEAD: Priscilla Oneal says, "http://i.imgur.com/RJgOHUK.gifv"
DEAD: Casey Harris cringes.
DEAD: Joi Carmicheal says, "Wow"
DEAD: Alien Larva (98) says, "how did the ravager die?"
DEAD: Joi Carmicheal says, "He ran pass down rav"
DEAD: Alien Larva (747) says, "Dank memes Curtis"
DEAD: Joi Carmicheal says, "It didnt"
DEAD: Alien Larva (98) says, "it's crit"
DEAD: Dolores Waits says, "memes i just love memes"
DEAD: Casey Harris says, "2 dank 5 me."
DEAD: Mavirikiy Lanavar says, "RIP"

[Mitchs98]

https://gyazo.com/11d1775cd67b4647b9ded5af67af56fc ALL HAIL THE LEFT LEG! FOR IT IS MIGHTIER THAN THOU!. I should also mention that is page one of 4 of attack logs of cutting that leg, my WIELDED glaive got stuck in it, TWICE.

[johners12345]

character is sleeping when...
... suffocation ...

me: SUFFOCATION.. HAS NO MEANING!!!

( cookie points for who gets the song reference)

[TheCubscout]

me: SUFFOCATION.. HAS NO MEANING!!!

( cookie points for who gets the song reference)

This is my Last Resort

[johners12345]

This is my Last Resort

oo even with the wrong lyrical sentence. BONUS BONUS COOKIE POINTS!!

[johners12345]

Brett Auman [Charlie (SL)] asks, "Curtis you ok?"
Curtis Weeter [Charlie (Spc)] exclaims, "After having acid spat at me multiple times, a tail going through my chest.. Being fucked shot.. having something thrown at my face for it to try and claw at it and impregnate me AND on top of that watching countless friends and fellow marines be dragged off and either killed or impregnated... I AM FUCKING FINE, EVERYTHING IS Just.... GUM DROPS AND ICECREAM!"

[Jets Salvation]

Zenith Quahron [Delta (Mar)] says, "No did you throw lucas in the super matter?"
Zenith Quahron says, "No did you throw lucas in the super matter?"
Roy Miller [Sulaco (MP)] says, "Way to secure LZ"
Mike Scribonius fires the M41A Rifle (Wielded)!
Mike Scribonius fires the M41A Rifle (Wielded)!
You buckle yourself to the chair.
Roy Miller [Sulaco (MP)] says, "Need backup to shuttle"
Alec Baker says, "The fuck is that"
Jada Brown [Delta (Mar)] says, "Alright."
Amy Cove opens "Lazarus Landing Map".
Brigus Shot [Sulaco (Mar)] says, "Some fucking worm thing."
Keiran Lawson says, "SM blew up."
Jada Brown points to Alien Larva (431)
Jada Brown waves.
Brigus Shot [Sulaco (Mar)] says, "Kill that ugly shit."
Brigus Shot talks into the marine alpha radio headset
Nan Leech says, "Where is the doc"
Amy Cove puts Lazarus Landing Map into the marine backpack.
Zadii Valcenti [Sulaco (Eng)] says, "Blue wire is door bolts."
Jada Brown says, "Heeeeeey."
Brigus Shot [Sulaco (Mar)] says, "It might have some type of fucking foreign alien cancer autistic disease on it or something."
Brigus Shot talks into the marine alpha radio headset
Marcus MacDowell [Sulaco (Med)] says, "Don't be silly."
Brigus Shot [Sulaco (Mar)] says, "You never know."
Brigus Shot talks into the marine alpha radio headset
Curtis Weeter [Delta (XO)] says, "T-Thats classified.."
Jada Brown [Delta (Mar)] asks, "IS there a reason why everyone's shooting at the snakes?"
Lucas 'Berserker' Anderson [Delta (Spc)] asks, "You realize if you threw Calado into the SM that's why it exploded right?"


Yes we all laughed lets hope lucas becomes a ghoul and moves to fall out instead of the marines,

[TopHatPenguin]

Every time you entered Bio or Viro on nostromo.
https://youtu.be/7nFObYiWNUA?t=4886

Credits to the guy who filmed this.

[Adjective]

Every time you entered Bio or Viro on nostromo.
https://youtu.be/7nFObYiWNUA?t=4886

Credits to the guy who filmed this.

"Attempting to overthrow the current command staff will not be tolerated -Ashe White (Military Police)" I was in that video xD

[TopHatPenguin]

"Attempting to overthrow the current command staff will not be tolerated -Ashe White (Military Police)" I was in that video xD

Quite alot of us were hehe.

[Jets Salvation]

Sentinel (411) hisses, 'I am no host-speakologist but i am pretty sure he says AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH'


holy shit XENO RESEARCHING HUMANS..MAKE THIS A THING NOW !!

[Steelpoint]

So essentially this:

[johners12345]

This is Sergio Stone!
He is wearing a commander uniform with a shoulder holster.
He is wearing a marine commander beret on his head.
He is wearing British Admiral Uniform.
He is carrying a 44 Magnum on his British Admiral Uniform.
He has a leather satchel on his back.
He has some commander's gloves on his hands.
He has a marine belt about his waist.
He is wearing some marine combat boots on his feet.
He has an eyepatch covering his eyes.
He has a marine command radio headset on his left ear.
He is wearing PDA-Sergio Stone (Commander).

DEAD: Curtis Weeter says, "OH Dear God. Sergio has a British admiral Uniform on.. Great.. A brit is going to help defend A AMERICAN vessel... God damn it x.x"

DEAD: Scotty Hardy says, "Calm down curtis"

DEAD: Scotty Hardy says, "..unless it's colonial days"

DEAD: Scotty Hardy says, "then they say 'shut the fuck up and pay your taxes'"

DEAD: Curtis Weeter says, "DO NOT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! I am LE AMERICAN!"

p.s- This was staged atleast on my part.

p.p.s- Next they will start taxing the Fuckin' Xenomorphs.

[johners12345]

The last round's COmmander was a dick and had beaten a crazy man who was running around naked before briefing to near Death than executed a marine who's gun misfired and had hit him.. So.. Me as a Mp, me and 5 others staged A mutiny.. It went very smoothly, I went in , demanded his surrender, He ran and I baton'd him down without using harm.. Got '' Sector'' permission from USCM to execute him. XO carried it out, We than dragged his body off to medical for cremation, he was hacked apart by a insane guy he flogged, Kicked by the girl he executed for her gun mis-firing. Than bled for synthetic meat.. crazy guy who also thought he was a lizard than ate him.. Than we cremated him.. Than me and the MP that helped me Dexter Vextron danced on his ashes.. This is the conversation that followed.

Curtis Weeter [MP (MP)] says, "He has been cremated.. After he was bled of coarse.."
Curtis Weeter says, "He has been cremated.. After he was bled of coarse.."
Dexter Vextron [MP (MP)] says, "After dancing on his ashes with Curtis, I have concluded that the ex-CO may no longer be cloned, ever."
Curtis Weeter [MP (MP)] says, "I feel this was a good day."

*---------*
Curtis Weeter says, "Hey man.."
Curtis Weeter holds up the right hand. Take a closer look.
This is a bloody right hand. It is a normal-sized item.
Dexter Vextron says, "Beautiful."
Curtis Weeter says, "Exactly.."
Dexter Vextron says, "Mount it on your mantle."

Command Announcement


The Commander, J. Burns, was executed for murder of a Marine, as well as flogging of another without collective reasoning. XO Hyde has taken control of the USS Sulaco, and Darius Ico is acting XO.



Curtis Weeter says, "Right over my fucking fireplace"
Dexter Vextron says, "In a jar of vodka."
Curtis Weeter says, "Vodka is too good for him.. Corona will do."
Dexter Vextron says, "Ooh, evil."
Dexter Vextron says, "No, wait."
Dexter Vextron says, "A jar of Pabst."
Dexter Vextron says, "Pabst blue ribbon."
Dexter Vextron says, "That's what he deserves."
Curtis Weeter says, "Yes."


I also had to hold the bridge in the aliens attack.
This happened just before they invaded the bridge and slaughtered us. ( I took two of them with me!) The important text is highlighted

Curtis Weeter says, "I'm just a normal guy. Who wants to live a normal fucking life, Who is now being hunted by fucking monsters."
Daniel Foster [Sulaco (Mar)] says, "They're everywhere..."
The locker has been locked by Mieszko Hyde.
Dexter Vextron sets the shotgun down for a moment, removing his helmet and cracking his knuckles, then his neck.

USCM Update


Marines, as it is now... Rescue i neigh an option.

Fortify every ground you can, make them fight for every space they tread upon this ship.

Spend your lives dearly, marines. Make them fight their way to the entire level, inch by inch covered in blood.

Oo-rah Marines.


Mieszko Hyde says, "Bitch, you're a Marine. Your life isn't normal."
Mieszko Hyde talks into the marine command radio headset
Curtis Weeter says, "Fuck That shit.."
Darius Ico talks into the marine command radio headset
Dexter Vextron dons his helmet again, then picks his shotgun up, taking his position again.
Curtis Weeter says, "My life is as normal as I see it. As a marine, It's the only GOOD normal life there is."
Mieszko Hyde talks into the marine command radio headset
Darius Ico talks into the marine command radio headset
Darius Ico says, "Comms down."
LOOC: Mieszko Hyde: more alien telacomm meta
LOOC: Darius Ico: Mhmm.
Dexter Vextron says, "Damn."
Curtis Weeter says, "I live on the wrong side of heaven, and the Righteous side of Fucking Hell Maem."
Darius Ico says, "If anyone doesn't want to fight."
Dexter Vextron says, "Looks like we just have eachother and that intercom over there."
Darius Ico says, "Hide in the trashcan now."
Runner (855) slashes at the table!
Runner (855) slashes at the table!
Mieszko Hyde says, "Don't get Five-finger death-punch on me.

Bill Carson (follow) says, "Time to fuck or be fucked"
LOOC: Johners12345: make sure you are on bottom

P.S- when we arrested the CO after he tried to fight us and escape the mutiny I had put this link in the looc for him. auto set up at 22 seconds in.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsS0cvTxU-8&feature=youtu.be&t=21s

[Expired Torpedo]

so this happened..

Colonial Marines Alpha Edition 2015-09-07 174502.png

Colonial Marines Alpha Edition 2015-09-07 174413.png

[northcote4]

#TeamRunner
No Drones. No Queens. No Facehuggers. Final Destination.

[johners12345]

Taken/edited by ordukai
The sm was ejected.. It went down a z-level and did a full loop and slammed into the armory.. kek..


This seems fitting.

Alright sweet hearts what you waiting for? Breakfast in bed? It's a other glorious day in the corps. Day in the marine corps is like a day on a farm. Every meal is a banquet. Every paycheck a fortune. Every formation a parade-I LOVE THE CORPS!

I am a pure bad ass, saved five marines with my rifle by killing aliens, Than when i was eaten, I had cut my way out of him and took on a boiler, Crusher, and spitter with just that knife.

[Ordukai]

Also edited by moi. I demand full credit.

Edit: Thank you.

[Evilkyle24]

[TopHatPenguin]

Trying to make conversation.

[UnknownMurder]