Funny, Embarrassing, and General OMG Moments

[coroneljones]

...slimes are a xenos bane,unknown y u do dat

[UnknownMurder]

I didn't do the slimes. I only did the Space Verizon.

[johners12345]

that was the next thing. As alien queen and winning a trivia, I got a wish, We were getting our arses kicked so I wished aliens win.. So SPECE VERIZON COMES THROUGH and disables lightning,communications, and access to message and ship command

[Rovernic]

I just had a round where I spawned in as survivor. We link up right away, and try hacking into EVA. We bolt one door, shock the other. Now with the wires in mind, we make our way to engineering, and set up shop there. Walls, false walls, welded vents, the works. All of a sudden lo and behold, our colonial marines show up to 'save' us.

Naturally, survivor goes up and says "Who the hell are you guys?"

The response? "Your worst nightmare"

So Rovern Solzaire and Janis, the survivors, run to the CE's office, barricade it up, and I toss on the suit. Marines start to break in, so we freak the fuck out. I mean, they said they're our worst nightmare right? We talk it out, and they say "Alright, enough diplomacy." We make up the story that we have a bomb rigged to blow, and demand they leave the CE's office which they had broken into to 'secure us'. 5 minute stand off ensures.

Most of the squad wanders off, so we decide to book it, considering we had reached a somewhat truce. At least, they weren't trying to kill the terrified survivors.

SL doesn't like this, and aims a gun at poor unarmored Janis. Janis flips him off, goes to run and takes a bullet to the chest like a champ. I disarm the SL, and the goons from the squad come and cuff us.

Off the the Sulaco, now as prisoners, suspected to be Syndicate, all the while we, as survivors, have assumed the marines are some sort of death squad from the Syndicate here to steal research. Marines cuff us on the shuttle and send it, leaving us alone on it as it hurtles back to Sulaco. We escape confinement and are told by an LO to come to the breifing. He wanders off, and Janis is wounded on the shuttle, so I treat Janis and we walk to the breifing.

LO has a really bad choice of words, and says that soon we'll be taken care of. "Taken care of." From guys who think the marines are syndicate. We PANIC, and run the hell away. We are chased by the LO, one MP, and the Commander who all saw us run past the bridge. MP and Lo go somewhere, but the commander follows us to below the armory maintenance. While I forget exactly what happened, we told him basically to leave us alone, and then, when he stun batons Janis, I start to push him. He stuns me, but eventually Janis gets up. We stun /him/ take his E gun and stun baton, and I take his headset. I weld the entrance shut just as the LO and MP arrive. They go to welder-bomb the door open, only to find the door still closed. Seeing their attempt, I build walls and seal them out.

You now have two terrified survivors holding one pissed off CO hostage. We talk with the LO, and eventually agree to release the hostage so long as 1: We are let free to return to the Nostromo (which we found safer than homicidal marines), and 2: We agree to report on what happened to the Nostromo.

CO returns a second after exiting the door, pissed as hell and shooting first. He blows Janis's head off, and puts me into crit. I am saved by the MP, and brought to surgery.

Janis is cloned, then tortured, then killed once again, giving no information to the marines.

Before they get to me, their marines who have heard what happened (I stole a command radio) and those who saw it protested enough to get me spared.

In the end I wound up explaining the convoluted situation after the MP told me they were colonial marines no syndicate.

TLDR: Survivors take commander hostage and then get wretk because no one ever explains who they[Colonial Marines] were or where the survivors were being taken.

[UnknownMurder]

http://prntscr.com/60tovq

[xomega000x]

Hey, I was Commander that round!

Trust me as an "official" NT representative that has also been a marine for while, and you get promoted to a desk-soldier, you kinda get mad when that shit happens lol.

[Arom]

well one time SL ordered us to flank enemy with eva, most of team was going eva for the first time our engineer decided to open airlock at east arivals ("escape") and most of us was literaly launched in space i landed on sulaco and i started to move around it by throwing my magazines while looking for airlock on sulaco but i died before i saw one

[Rovernic]

Fun fact (they don't exist)

[OliverCarswell]

Honestly, I was just a marine, and I lost my squad. Turn around the corner, and get bumrushed by Xeno's. I think I never had a heartattack quite as severe as this. And that said, I kinda felt like this...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmc21V-zBq0#t=86

[TopHatPenguin]

Bottle Clause The True Story Untold

So I had a hour until I was gonna go off as it was almost midnight , anyway I thought what can i do to spice things up and suddenly I had it " get drunk as fuck" so I got really drunk and collapsed at Carlos Fultons feet , so he pulled me to medical where the doctor got me up to health but still drunk.After this Jim Easter the local Mp gave me a drink that knocked me out , so of course I spam clicked the drink, anyway so as that took place Jim and Carlos took me to the kitchen where as you can see in my signature this happened .After awhile I became sober and decided to limit myself to just a broken bottle as a weapon , as I was deciding to limit myself to the bottle a alien ran past medical so we chased it and it died from gun fire so no kills for me but then I had hope as a shuttle with aliens on , came so me and carlos went to the bottom door of the shuttle where I went straight in with Carlos and then stabbed a Probably Dc'd Praetorian (I know much victory ) I then carried on to chase a spitter that ran out of the shuttle and as I was chasing it I thought to myself " this was a fucking aweful idea why did I do this " but when I thought I wouldn't get it I got it down and started hacking away until a Lo decided to take away my newly found kill and try and put it in a cell when we had no researchers but at that very moment I was in pure happiness that my bottle had taken down a spitter on the way the spitter died. Abit later another shuttle came along with aliens and the queen I was at the top of the shuttle when a ravage came out I ran away and pulled out a magnum (this would have been perfect for benny hill theme) and started firing as I thought " no way in hell am I taking that on with a broken bottle " anyway after this happened I went back to the shuttle as the ravager ran off somewhere , as soon as I got there I saw a drone building so I rushed the drone with a the broken bottle and my riot shield I picked up earlyier I got it down but only because the doors were glitching for the drone as they would not open ,but then it was pulled away to my disbelief.


There is more to this story ...... I could carry it on but I think I will leave it as this for now

[UnknownMurder]

Why no one post stories of Khan and Spave Verizon. You're all bad friends.

[johners12345]

Why no one post stories of Khan and Spave Verizon. You're all bad friends.

I already did! What Eva. My first xeno round here I get captured and graced with khans presence my human given name is talon and I end up being a savior to the Denis by giving them informations of the humans. To which I am proven more smart than Khan and in a rage he has me brutally murdered while I scream in pain in hive mind and scarred every player who listened on that very day XD than I'm later spawned as a corgi so.. That's a thing.. Also I like this thread.. I'm seeing progress.. Progress is good... Unless it's killing people, than it's bad... Unless it's commies. @mrgabol

[CampinKiller]

Rovern Solzaire says, "Your new sentence is 12 minutes"
Rovern Solzaire says, "Please enjoy your stay"

[johners12345]

Five minutes before briefing in breif room

Random mp: who's a smart ass here, who wants to face the golden bolt.
Delta engineer: golden bolt?
Mp tazes the man " golden bolt.."
Delta: g-g-golden bolt.."
Then later a troll committed a bunch of crimes so we have him cuffed in a chair while us 4 mp's discuss his sentence while he screams kill me!.. After 2 minutes the commander silently walks in, unbuckles the man, and proceeds to execute the man on the spot while the mp's stare in fear and terror. What does the commander have to say?"that's for the beer" ... He then walks out.. Leaving us unsure of what to do with the body before deciding to disposal it, set it on fire, and space it to hide the evidence of the terrifying crime committed..

[CampinKiller]

Hivemind, alien queen hisses, "KILL THE HUMANS THEY CALLED ME FAT"

[johners12345]

Hivemind, alien queen hisses, "KILL THE HUMANS THEY CALLED ME FAT"

That's a first

[Doctor Clockwork]

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[johners12345]

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Was that dragon universe?

[UnknownMurder]

http://prntscr.com/62fkca

William Birkin leading the Aliens to defeat the HiT for second time. They lost because of invisible HiT by Mike.

[Minimike]

Fuk u invisi men 4 life. Aliens should know not to fuck with invisi men

[UnknownMurder]

Mark Hanford says, " GOD SENT US A NUKE!"

[apophis775]

I had to share this, it's a comm we got from the sulaco recently:

CENTCOMM: Vanderbilt Schwartz: Everyone in Command is braindead, I think Alpha is deaddead and there's not really any marines to go around anyways. Also we're bored. Can we go home.

[coroneljones]

http://prntscr.com/62fkca

William Birkin leading the Aliens to defeat the HiT for second time. They lost because of invisible HiT by Mike.

Unknown,too much resident evil..

[UnknownMurder]

Thinking of different franchises.

[Buzzsaw]

You hear something crackle in your headset before a voice speaks, "Please stand by for a message from Central Command:" "There was a sad BlueSpace Artillery cannon once... it was aimed at you then shot.... it was happy... do you want to make our BlueSpace Artillery cannons happy?"

Later:

Central Command Update

NanoTrasen Update


*some synthetical cheering sound*...

SHUT UP CANNONS!

I know you're happy for being in-use again... but did you have to blast that LO to smithreens?

Oh yeah... marines...

There's an LO in logistic that's dying... blame him for telling us a weak story that made our cannons sad.