H'dlak Kha'bj-te (Fear Maniac)

[KEY]

Byond ID: Chandlerkun

Marine Name (so we know who you are, if you play alien mostly, state that here): Rick Rhee, although I have been playing alien before I even made this forum account and I play it more often. If it gives me any credit, I am often the Queen if I spawn in at the start of a round.

Name of the character you want whitelisted (The name your predator will use. This must match your in-game predator name): H'dlak Kha'bj-te (Fear Maniac)

Are you familiar with the Predator Code Of Honor?
Yes, and I have seen all the movies and even nerded out and read a bunch of the comic books.

Character background (A very BRIEF description of your predators background):
Is it his fault that his father is such a poor hunter? H'dlak asked this question inside his mind as a hand bigger then his face struck him on the head, sending him reeling back and into the wall and into another storm of pain. The mandibles of his father flaring as he was screamed at and called horrible things in the Yautja language that had no business being said by any honorable Yautja to another. Especially not their own son, who was not even the age that he could partake in the honorable hunt. Each time his father returned from another hunt and another failure, his anger would be taken out on him behind closed doors.

Away from the eyes of other Yautja, who could not see the dishonor that was taking place as his father broke the code again and again, against his own son. H'dlak became afraid. Fear is all he knew in his childhood, for the beatings his father had inflicted on him left him scared of every shadow, every door suddenly opening and every strong gust of wind. He was expected to one day be a hunter, Unblooded and then blooded. How could he do this if he had become so afraid of life itself? How could H'dlak overcome his own namesake, fear?

One day there was a large banging on the door. H'dlak shook with terror, knowing the hell that was to come. He opened it after the banging became more aggressive, too aggressive to ignore....for if H'dlak did, there would surely be a worse beating in him for it. Instead he was faced with another Yautja. Tall and with dark red skin, his lower mandible missing and spots upon his forehead. He delivered the news that his father, being driven to a point of desperation had ran head first into lair of they prey they were hunting without any gear or weapons, as if trying to prove something. He was blown apart and the little that remained was torn apart by the species of that hunt. H'dlak didn't hear the name of what they were called, as his world was spinning inside of his head. He knew they had giant red pincers and could fly with their antenna's.

But the constant shadow that stood over him, looming behind him emitting toxic fear had been removed. His father was dead. The elder Yautja placed his hand on the shoulder of H'dlak and muttered something low in the Yautja language, before leaving H'dlak there at the door of his hut.

It didn't stop though. H'dlak wasn't free. His father was dead but each time there was a small disturbance, that ice cold fear ran through his heart and and froze his body. He started to become delusional, thinking he was seeing his father standing in the corners of an room when he knew he wasn't really there. Screaming at him, reaching out to strike and kick him. Tormenting him like he was a demon in hell. At night, H'dlak whimpered softly as he could feel the intensity of his fathers towering form still standing in the doorway. Always watching. H'dlak didn't sleep. He didn't eat. He didn't live. He just stayed in his own prison of fear, created by one bad Yautja who never should have had the honor of having children anyways as a poor hunter.

Years passed. H'dlak grew up and had proven himself to be a poor hunter. Unblooded, he found himself held back by the constant fear he lived in. How could someone with a mind who only saw absolute fear go out and hunt other beings? His cloak initiated, he would watch his prey from a distance...but find himself too weak willed to go in and engage. It became the issue he always knew it would, he wouldn't be a true Yautja if he didn't hunt. He as on the verge of being disowned and labeled a "bad-blood".

He was alone on a strange world of gray sands, skies, and a heavy fog that never lifted. The creatures he was out to hunt were large reptilians with feathers on the end of their tails, an very aggressive species that made for a good hunt. There would be no ship to return for him unless he made a proper kill.

H'dlak was panicking. The mask that covered his face becoming fogged up as he held his knee's up to his arms underneath a rock. Safe enough away from the creatures he was assigned to kill. He could hear the words of his father now, ringing in his head and tellinh H'dlak how he's a failure just like him. How he's worthless, just like him. How he'll die a failure, just like him. At a point where he heard a creature approaching, he cloaked and waited. Underneath that rock he watched as his heat vision followed it, it's back turned and clearly able to be a kill. But an dishonorable kill would not free him of his fear. He would live in fear still if he killed it like this, and as H'dlak realized that he slowly lowered his spear and jumped upwards with his mighty Yautja legs! Bursting forth and drawing attention, fear flooded his body like poison in his bloodstream. For the creature had now seen him, and the rash decision of H'dlak was about to met with consequences. Not knowing what else to do, H'dlak threw his spear to the side and raised his arms up, ripping his mask off his face in the process to free his true form. Clear and visible, H'dlak screamed at the beast!

" Auuuuuuuuuuuroogh! "

It was instinct. He knew in a direct charge, he would be slaughtered. He screamed for all he was worth, as the beast skidded to a halt. Fear flooding it's eyes instead at seeing the ferocity that H'dlak had displayed, as following his instinct further H'dlak leaped forward and placed his hands around the neck of the beast. The neck being an area that wouldn't have been accessible unless the creature left it exposed to fling it's head back in fear, H'dlak twisted and pushed his weight down! The neck of the beast snapping, H'dlak fell on top of it. The creature was dead, and it was slain in direct combat by a visible H'dlak.

H'dlak had done something here. He had killed prey. To other Yautja this would mean nearly nothing, something to be expected. But H'dlak had proven that he WAS capable of doing so. He had taken the fear that swallowed his life, and inflicted it onto others. Using his fear, H'dlak had overcome this obstacle. It was at this moment, as H'dlak stared down at the broken neck of the reptilian-bird, that he realized who and what he was. He was a Yautja, and he could finally be proud of that! But even more, he was fear. Who knew fear better then him? Who had lived in it, experienced it for so long and knew what fear felt like so intimately more then he had?

Coming from a clan of terrible hunters, maniacs as some would call them for their recklessness and outburst? H'dlak had discovered that fear, his own namesake was what would guide him forward. He went on more hunts, and with each hunt he got better. Better at intimidating, better at making his foe feel and know fear before they were slain.

The hunt became about more then just tracking and killing, it became about H'dlak sharing his fear. If his prey wasn't afraid, he wouldn't even bother. True dominance was making them cower and be afraid of H'dlak before their horrible ends. The fear he had felt his entire life could be shared. He could use the hunt, and use it with honor....to take out his aggression on prey.

In current time, H'dlak is a Yautja. Not just in species, but in the code of honor. Fear is honor to him, for making worthy game fear him brings honor to the entire hunt of the Yautja. On a ship with a few other Yautja, he is headed for a world that is said to have the greatest hunt of all upon it. Kainde Amehda.
The reports indicate that in the orbit of this world the space vessel of another species has arrived, and is suspected to soon deploy. Pyode Amehda.

He grins as he thinks of how both meats will taste after he gives them a worthy hunt, H'ldak stretching his arms above his head and reading the information on the Yautja computer screen. As a single question enters his mind....

...How much fear can he instill into these creatures?


How do you intend to play your predator (as in, describe HOW you will act/play your predator. This will weigh HEAVILY and frequently breaking from this MAY result in removal)?

It's all about fear, baby. If your prey doesn't fear you, whats the point in killing it? I will use the power of Predator cloak to be a scary figure that makes weird noises, steps on shattered glass, and knocks on wooden tables to spook Marines and Xeno's. I will work to in a sense, be like a horror movie villain who is stalking his prey and trying to scare them with gentle noises, sudden loud bangs, and turning my cloak off and sprinting through a crowd real quick before vanishing just to freak everyone the fuck out.

When they become scared enough that their shooting at every little mouse that is flying across their screen and clearly ready to be engaged, I will engage. I will hunt prey that I have been RPing with extensively beforehand through scare tactics and stalking, and offer those who are brave enough to face me properly an honorable duel. The hunt is all about fear, and if the prey isn't afraid of me after all those scare tactics? They will be horrified by the end of the honorable duel. And if then, they overcome their fears and manage to earn it? They shall be rewarded properly.

Primarily, I'd like to be a horror orientated icon in creative ways as I use the tools and abilities at my disposal to provide a fun role playing experience for everyone I interact with. I'll even do things like watching a marine sit down a tool on a table, cloak and walk inside to pick up the tool, and then walk outside and place the tool down in the dim darkness. Playing scary taunts with my mask when they get closer to it, but not engaging. Like I said, i'm all about trying to scare people more then anything.


Why should we whitelist you?
I enjoy role playing extensively and have for many years. I love playing CM and I love the lore of the AVP universe and all that it entails. I will be honest and admit that I do not know every secret this game has and I am not robust in many area's of the game like medical and engineering. However, I am out to make rounds fun and make interactions with my predator be remembered as a good time rather than annoying, and want to be a reason to smile rather than a reason to salt.

I won't sit here and pretend to be perfect. Many of you reading this might not even know me. All I can say is that I really think this game is something special, and with that goes the role of Predator being special. I do not believe I am entitled to anything, but if I am given this position I will honor it and be willing to learn anything I need to in order to do the role correctly and make the game a more enjoyable experience for the players.

Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason (we will check, and lies may result in immediate denial)?
Nope, never even been banned from CM at all.

Are you currently banned from any other servers and if so, why?
Nope, I only play CM anyways.

Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or disobey the Predator Code of Honor?
I understand and if I make a mistake that you feel warrants revoking it, I will respect that wholeheartedly.

[Casany]

The only problem I have with this app is that I have only seen you in game once.

Otherwise, the stories fantastic. I'm not a fanatic on the lore, so I can't tell you if it breaks the lore or not, but I can say that it is a great story. The playstyle is slightly unique, so that's a plus. I've read your other stories and you probably would be good at the roleplay based on those, but I'll have to wait and see you in game

+1 as of now.

Also, I'd recommend playing marine a lot more over these next few weeks, get yourself known and out there. That'll probably be your biggest hurdle.

[Boltersam]

Will post review later.

[shyshadow]

Hey, umm I like the story it's good and while it's creative. It doesn't live up to the lore in which the AVP Universe is created, according to what I've learned if there are bad hunters, then they won't have off-spring. Plain and simple, and your entire story is based around the point of your character's father being a poor hunter that they're lucky to even have a single off-spring may be plausible, but what struck me as extremely lore-breaking is an entire clan of poor hunters. While the single bad hunter is plausible, an entire clan? Considering a Clan-leader has to be able to cleanse an entire hive with only two other hunters, and to add on that. As Yautja's mating goes, female Yautja mate with the strongest, and the best so an entire clan existing composed of bad hunter is extremely small.

Your story is based around the idea of something in the lore that doesn't exist, while I'm reviewing this with a grain of salt though I do not have the whitelist it's kinda ehhhhhh in my opinion. Don't get me wrong, the concept of your character's type of hunt is interesting and would add to the experience. I'd suggest you brush up on the lore. Your story is commendable, but your ENTIRE Backstory is based around something that doesn't occur and well....yeah....
Anyway, sorry if I come off bold and disheartening I usually apologize at the end of these types of posts. Wish you the best of luck.

[KEY]

Alright, thanks for the feedback so far. I tried to imply in the story that the father was a poor hunter that had done enough to get by, not just a Yautja who was completely incapable of the basics. I may not have communicated that enough, but as I understood in the Yautja culture there were different levels of Predators, super Preds, Normal, ect. And they are all judged more or less on how great or honorable they are, with even incredibly strong Yautja being considered weak in the face of the supers and higher ups. I didn't mean poor in the sense of incapable, just poor compared to the super honored agile Yautja that slay big impressive kills for big impressive honor.

I appreciate the feedback though and if it comes off as too big a mistake for this to pass, I understand. I'll work on playing marine more too so people can see me and see how I interact, as I understand that will also be a hurdle for me.

[Kerek]

I recognize your name, story is detailed but a little far fetched. But I liked it.

Neutral as of now. I will wait for others to reply.

[Boltersam]

I think this is important to put at the start, the story is VERY farfetched. I get the concept of having an abusive father, but it'd be very, VERY easily noticed by the other Yautja, even if he did so. Bad Bloods are rare, because everyone's indoctrinated into following the Honour Code as strictly as possible, so even if this situation had occurred, it wouldn't have gone on as long as you imply. In fact, if your Yautja's father was as crappy a hunter as you say in the story, he wouldn't have earned a mate. If we go as far as to say your Yautja's not inherited his skill (Or lack of it) and died before the events of the server...He could've challenged him to a duel, for one. He could've appealed to the Elders because his father broke the code, etc. Your Yautja had a few ways out of that situation.

Onto your hunt for an unnamed creature, you describe it like early dinosaurs. While making lots of noise and making yourself seem bigger than you are will usually work on most animals, these were described as aggressive predators (The animal kind), and you'd be viewed more as challenging its territory. I'm not an expert on wildlife, and I don't claim to be, but if the creature's aggressive and a supposedly unknown animal roars a challenge, it'd respond in kind, though startled. However, in the story, you do scare it. And though you remark that a direct charge would be suicidal, you put it off balance for a second with your roar....And do a direct charge. So your unnamed creature has the reflexes of a sloth, but that can be overlooked as shock and awe.

Then there's a note that your ENTIRE CLAN are terrible hunters, and somehow they survived, not being weeded out by the other clans who would inevitably take their territory and diminish their population through rivalry and expansion. It's not like Yautja are universally friendly to eachother, they're different clans, and they need hunting grounds to prove their worth. If your clan is weak, that will be taken advantage of and it'd be absorbed into a more powerful clan, if not annihilated entirely by the other clans.

The story ends with a self-realisation and sense of purpose. Scare the shit out of things. While this isn't bad for creatures that actually feel fear, your Yautja is a terrible hunter and will likely rely entirely on fear to win. How is he going to beat a Xeno? Roar at it while it makes mincemeat of him? Even with normal, average Unblooded, fatality rates are very high on their first Xeno hunt. Your weak Unblooded, specialising in terrorising prey, would die very quickly.

The huge problem with your playstyle, is people won't fear you. They're behind a screen, controlling a character. Your antics would get you killed, at worst, and at best, they'd get annoyed with the Predator constantly trying to disrupt them, but not actually doing anything to warrant fear. With Xenos, even less so, because they can respawn. You'd get swarmed and killed very quickly. With Marines, you running through their formations would warrant a lot of your blood being spilled, more so than the blood from the inevitable FF. Not to mention mines and sentries that you'd run into with this method. Making spooky noises doesn't scare them, either.

In short, the story is long and looks impressive from the beginning, but in the end it's not all that good. The playstyle is completely ineffective in an environment like SS13, and while I do see you around often, forum activity is low. -1.

EDIT: After talking with Titan, it's only cemented my opinion. Attacking people OOCly is not okay for anyone, particularly someone going for a role that needs to keep a level head and contain a lot of power.

[Imperator_Titan]

Just today you started to mock me in both dchat and looc as an elite queen saying stuff along the lines of "He doesn't even deserve to be part of the whitelist." After I died trying to pull off a push.

If I'm correct then a high RP role is not for you. Predator whitelist is not for the most robust players, it's for the special part of the community that bring medium RP to new heights.

Onto the backstory, like Bolter and Shyshadow have said, multiple things are wrong with the story. Your father wouldn't have found a mate and the entire clan would be destroyed by the more powerful, rival clans.

The playstyle seems like you're just going to start spamming the sound emotes which would become more of an annoyance than a fear factor.

There isn't anything really left to say that hasn't been said by our lord and saviour, Boltersam.

All in all, -1.

EDIT:Apparently, it turns out that Chandlerkun was the previous queen and died. Another queen took over and actually said those things. Only problem is that said queen's ckey didn't show up and instead Chandler's did, which is quite wrong seeing as how there were two queens for a fact. I also did note Chandler's ckey down so there'd be no way I'd miss it.

[Casany]

After seeing what Bolter and Titan have said, and after seeing how you treated Titan, Ima change my vote to -1

[KEY]

Just today you started to mock me in both dchat and looc as an elite queen saying stuff along the lines of "He doesn't even deserve to be part of the whitelist." After I died trying to pull off a push.

If I'm correct then a high RP role is not for you. Predator whitelist is not for the most robust players, it's for the special part of the community that bring medium RP to new heights.

Onto the backstory, like Bolter and Shyshadow have said, multiple things are wrong with the story. Your father wouldn't have found a mate and the entire clan would be destroyed by the more powerful, rival clans.

The playstyle seems like you're just going to start spamming the sound emotes which would become more of an annoyance than a fear factor.

There isn't anything really left to say that hasn't been said by our lord and saviour, Boltersam.

All in all, -1.

Alright, I respect that opinion and all the opinions that have been given. However, the part that confuses me is the thing about me being an Elite Queen and mocking you. I don't remember that, but I was an Elite Queen last night during a round and there were no Predators. I don't believe I've ever mocked anyone in-game or over private PM, so that confuses me as I am not sure who you play. I am also certain I've never said anything about anyone not deserving to be on any whitelist. I try to keep a positive attitude all in all and do my best to not offend people, and in deadchat I usually just talk about the current round and observe people.

If however I did say something offensive to you, I apologize but I don't remember anything about that. Are you sure that Elite Queen was me?

Other then that, thank you all for your opinions and I appreciate your time and effort you put into reading and evaluating my app.

Edit: Just seeing the time of which you posted this comment, I must say that I have not been online today. I think the Elite Queen that mocked you may have been someone else, my C-Key is Chandlerkun for clarification.

[forwardslashN]

I think the biggest problem is the strange backstory. It's an interesting take on a character, and it does explain who they are and where they come from, but I'm not sure it's entirely believable. Generally speaking, only the good hunters are allowed a mate, so that their sons can be good hunters as well. It just seems odd to have an abusive father who is also a poor hunter. Being a poor hunter for the Yautja usually means death, and abusing a child isn't really honorable behavior. There really isn't anything wrong with the playstyle, and you are not the first to suggest it, but it's not always as effective as you'd want. I'll have to go with a -1 for right now.

[Feweh]

Further feedback is required on this application.

[Feweh]

Denied