Alien: Covenant.

[NescauComToddy]

Movie description

Don't read this If you're going to watch It.

► Show Spoiler

Start: Excited.png
Happy accident: "RIP CO"
culunistcry.gif
Arrival: Ihaveabadfeelingaboutthis.png
First blood: hey, that's pretty good.
Second blood: Continue, please.
FF: Colonistskillingthemselves.png(just like muhrines do)
Spooky Android appearance: Shit Is going to hit the fan soon.
Spooky Android house: 2spooky4me
The second act starts: white ayylmao escalates Spooky Android house
Fifth blood: White ayylmao murders woman In Spooky Android bathroom
heyIshouldsearchforwomanalone.png
I See: Spooky Android petting white ayylmao
shootwhiteayylmao.gif
spookyandroidgetsmad.gif
Trick: Spooky Android tricks ooman
heyIshouldputmyheadintothisstrangegg.png
heywhere'sthefuckerthatwentsearchingforwoman.png
oomanburstshappyayylmao.gif
spookyandroidkisshappyandroid

shit'sknockingthefan.png

Spooky Android vs Happy Android
Bald Marine says, "CALL EVAC ASAP"
run.png
there's a ayylmao on the ship'sroof.png
kicksayylmao from the roof.gif

One day later.

M.O.T.H.E.R: "Attention, Spooky unauthorized lifeform detected aboard Medbay. Please, proceed with caution."
ayylmaostrikesagain.gif
bathroomdinnerinterrupted.png

Bug hunt time!

Happy android tricks ayylmao. Ihaveabadfeelingaboutthis.png
kicksayylmao from the ship.gif
Yay, everyone's happy!
everyonegoestocryosleep.gif

Culunist:"Walter, will you help me build a cabin In a lake"(Wait, what? Cabin in a lake?)?

Happy Android:"..."

Culinist: "GOD DAMN IT, I KNEW IT! NUUUU"

culinistproducesaautisticscreech.gif
spookyandroidrevealed.png
spookyandroidputsfaceloverinstorage.gif



Xenomorphprime.png

Film ends.

Seriously.

► Show Spoiler

David Is the most intriguing character from the series. His philosophy correlated with mankind Is exceptional. He particularly feels compassion towards his creation, which Is unusual due to him being an Android.

[Martzin]

the way you wrote this is fucking atrocious -1

[Karmac]

I feel like I don't even need to watch the movie now.

+1 thanks man

[NescauComToddy]

the way you wrote this is fucking atrocious -1

That was my intention. Thanks for the astounding feedback.

[Martzin]

That was my intention. Thanks for the astounding feedback.

in that case you're welcome

[Kerek]

Was it any good?

[Youbar]

Movie description

► Show Spoiler

Start: Excited.png
Happy accident: "RIP CO"
culunistcry.gif
Arrival: Ihaveabadfeelingaboutthis.png
First blood: hey, that's pretty good.
Second blood: Continue, please.
FF: Colonistskillingthemselves.png(just like muhrines do)
Spooky Android appearance: Shit Is going to hit the fan soon.
Spooky Android house: 2spooky4me
The second act starts: white ayylmao escalates Spooky Android house
Fifth blood: White ayylmao murders woman In Spooky Android bathroom
heyIshouldsearchforwomanalone.png
I See: Spooky Android petting white ayylmao
shootwhiteayylmao.gif
spookyandroidgetsmad.gif
Trick: Spooky Android tricks ooman
heyIshouldputmyheadintothisstrangegg.png
heywhere'sthefuckerthatwentsearchingforwoman.png
oomanburstshappyayylmao.gif
spookyandroidkisshappyandroid

shit'sknockingthefan.png

Spooky Android vs Happy Android
Bald Marine says, "CALL EVAC ASAP"
run.png
there's a ayylmao on the ship'sroof.png
kicksayylmao from the roof.gif

One day later.

M.O.T.H.E.R: "Attention, Spooky unauthorized lifeform detected aboard Medbay. Please, proceed with caution."
ayylmaostrikesagain.gif
bathroomdinnerinterrupted.png

Bug hunt time!

Happy android tricks ayylmao. Ihaveabadfeelingaboutthis.png
kicksayylmao from the ship.gif
Yay, everyone's happy!
everyonegoestocryosleep.gif

Culunist:"Walter, will you help me build a cabin In a lake"(Wait, what? Cabin in a lake?)?

Happy Android:"..."

Culinist: "GOD DAMN IT, I KNEW IT! NUUUU"

culinistproducesaautisticscreech.gif
spookyandroidrevealed.png
spookyandroidputsfaceloverinstorage.gif



Xenomorphprime.png

Film ends.

Is this the new way of typing? Have we evolved from condensed text, and moved onto displaying our emotions through memey filenames? I was hoping there'd be some actual intellectual discussion had to be here, not pinging names of images back and forth. sillyme.gif tho ayylmao.png xdxd

Was it any good?

It's certainly not a return to the roots of the franchise. The most accurate description of it would be Prometheus with a Xenomorph get-up. It never quite manages to reecapture the tension of the original two movies, and has the usual Ridley trope of highly intelligent crew members making incredibly stupid decisions. To be honest, it just felt like a slasher film, with a poor story, but a fantastic premise, and set of visuals.

[NescauComToddy]

Was it any good?

The narrative of the movie follows with ups and downs, having remarkably interesting moments, but others that beyond confused, slow the pace of the film and leave well below expectations.

The main motto left me a bit frustrated, because the explanation they gave about alien development, and how they are being shown and manipulated, was incomplete and inconsistent.

Summing-up, Alien Covenant has good scenes, extremely entertaining achievements, but comes in a bad writing, slow pace and little importance to what we would most like to see. Anyway, if you're an Alien fan, you like Prometheus, you'll have a good time at the movies, but do not get too hyped, it's not at all what was promised.

[Youbar]

The narrative of the movie follows with ups and downs, having remarkably interesting moments, but others that beyond confused, slow the pace of the film and leave well below expectations.

The main motto left me a bit frustrated, because the explanation they gave about alien development, and how they are being shown and manipulated, was incomplete and inconsistent.

Summing-up, Alien Covenant has good scenes, extremely entertaining achievements, but comes in a bad writing, slow pace and little importance to what we would most like to see. Anyway, if you're an Alien fan, you like Prometheus, you'll have a good time at the movies, but do not get too hyped, it's not at all what was promised.

holyshit.jpg
mfw nescaucomtoddy talks in english (.bmp)

[Imperator_Titan]

*HEAVY SPOILERS AHEAD, READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION*

► Show Spoiler

Alien Covenant really left more questions than it answered, it didn't even answer the original questions of the series which were :

Who were the engineers?
Why did David kill the engineers?
and who even created the xenomorphs in the first place?

Sure, it answered a few questions like what happened to Elizabeth from Prometheus, but ultimately it ended up being more shooty-shooty than the other films. Like, why was the xenomorph bursting process sped up to roughly 10 minutes instead of the 1-2 days period in Alien? How was David able to communicate with the neomorphs too? It also doesn't explain how David got a hold of those eggs in the first place and finally, how did the black goo manage to become an airborne virus in the first place?

And did David cause the Neutrino burst at the start of the film or was it actually a natural disaster?

Honestly, the David posing as Walter and ultimately being exposed plot-twist was kinda expected by that point. The only one thing I don't get is how did David have enough time to both, strip Walter of his clothes and put them on AND cut off his own arm before reaching the cargo shuttle in time?

Then there's the cut footage that we see in the trailers but not in the movie itself, which I presume we'll see in an extended version sooner or later.

I still do recommend it though, definitely a great movie with it's moments at times.

[Feweh]

HEAVY SPOILERS AHEAD, READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION








Who were the engineers?
-Advanced Alien Race that seeded humanity.

Why did David kill the engineers?
-Why not, he didnt want the answers that humans did and wanted to focus on creation as he stated.

and who even created the xenomorphs in the first place?
-The black goo as stated by David can kill, infect, manipulate or change organic material to whatever ot desires. David manipulates it to his liking to create proto xenomoprhs

Like, why was the xenomorph bursting process sped up to roughly 10 minutes instead of the 1-2 days period in Alien?
-Not the same type of xenomorph as the original movies, different facehuggers, alien and even the eggs are super large.

How was David able to communicate with the neomorphs too?
-He explained this while trying to bond with it, I dont remember exactly what he said but it made sense.

It also doesn't explain how David got a hold of those eggs in the first place
-He explains clearly that he created them using the black goo, how exactly we dont know.

and finally, how did the black goo manage to become an airborne virus in the first place?
-David explained that he was surprised to learn that when the goo is exposed to atmosphere pressure it turns into an airborne substance.

And did David cause the Neutrino burst at the start of the film or was it actually a natural event?
-Ridley Scott was asked this in an interview and said no. The covenant finding david was a coincidence and just unlucky chance.

Then there's the cut footage that we see in the trailers but not in the movie itself, which I presume we'll see in an extended version sooner or later.
-What footage?



Id like to know how that guy got infected on the ship at the end? I dont recall him getting facehugged, well he was but it was quickly taken off him? Did david infect him some other time that I didnt catch?

[Imperator_Titan]

-What footage?



Id like to know how that guy got infected on the ship at the end? I dont recall him getting facehugged, well he was but it was quickly taken off him? Did david infect him some other time that I didnt catch?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jvzeE5H6XQ

and

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uB34pme5RkE

0:00 - 0:54. This is what I meant by cut footage, which I presume was left out due to the total movie time being too long or something along those lines.




I personally like to think that either the facehugger managed to implant the guy successfully before it was taken off or David may have possibly done it himself while everyone was asleep but still, Covenant does leave out a few other things so I wouldn't be surprised if this was simply overlooked.

[Feweh]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jvzeE5H6XQ

and

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uB34pme5RkE

0:00 - 0:54. This is what I meant by cut footage, which I presume was left out due to the total movie time being too long or something along those lines.



I personally like to think that either the facehugger managed to implant the guy successfully before it was taken off or David may have possibly done it himself while everyone was asleep but still, Covenant does leave out a few other things so I wouldn't be surprised if this was simply overlooked.

Thats what im thinking too.

I also want to know why the Engineers seem so technologically..... low?

Like all their housing and temples look like theyre made out of clay and stone.

Also, what the fuck was that giant scorpion tail like ship and what happened to it after david released the goo?

[NescauComToddy]

That Ship is nothing more, nothing less than a docking station. What happened to it, however, is unknown.

About the engineers opting for a low tech life, this should be something involving their culture, something we'll never know now. If you have difficulty thinking about it, think as if they, the Engineers, could be associated with the Yautjas. Having a technology immensely advanced, but restricted by the traditions of their species.

About the creation of the "Xenomorfitos", or "Xenitos" as a Brazilian would like to call, all I can assert is that, David, planned and architected the face-huggers and the eggs with Shawn's reproductive system. Something that came to me in a curious way was the contact between David and Daniels, where the same acts in a "human" way, indicating that sexual behaviour from the Xenomorphs. After all, the Xenos are machines moved with the sole purpose of reproducing with any organic being they can find, killing those who resist or damage their hive.

We cannot forget or eliminate the possibility of an Engineer vessel escaping and landing on LV-426 shortly after David's attack. Something unproveable, but possible.

[Kerek]

The thing I didn't understand was how in the world would an engineer ship get to LV-426. From what I understood was that David engineered the xenomorph egg from the black goo. And he killed all the engineers that we know of before he even managed to genetically create them. So how would an engineer ship get there? But I did really like the movie overall.

Also the lowlife living is certainly a cultural thing. I mean if the space barbarians of the yautja can be possible I am sure that just styles of architecture, culture, and probably religion would cause that.

[Snypehunter007]

They said there would be another movie by Ridley for this "arc" of the franchise.

[Feweh]

I think its pretty clear that this wasnt isnt the only Engineering world.
The size of that city alone for a race with space travel is too small.

[Toroic]

The narrative of the movie follows with ups and downs, having remarkably interesting moments, but others that beyond confused, slow the pace of the film and leave well below expectations.

The main motto left me a bit frustrated, because the explanation they gave about alien development, and how they are being shown and manipulated, was incomplete and inconsistent.

Summing-up, Alien Covenant has good scenes, extremely entertaining achievements, but comes in a bad writing, slow pace and little importance to what we would most like to see. Anyway, if you're an Alien fan, you like Prometheus, you'll have a good time at the movies, but do not get too hyped, it's not at all what was promised.

If you're an alien fan then you know poor writing and inconsistent lore /is/ what is promised by a new alien movie, and that Alien and Aliens were the best of the series (including the AvP) by a mile. Prometheus was a forgettable sci-fi horror movie that used the licensing. Expecting something more would be like expecting the Fable series to not follow a similar trajectory of rehashes, over-promising, and under-delivering.

There's a silver lining though, because the shitty and inconsistent lore of Ali3ns on gives CM a lot of room to decide what to keep and what to toss in a way that serves gameplay. We don't have to be beholden to shitty writers.

[shyshadow]

BIG PLOT HOLE WTF LORE NO LONGER MAKE SENSE

► Show Spoiler

So rapey David, created the traditional Xenomorphs we all know and love. The movie takes place during like 2100s right? So how the fuck, are Predators able to hunt them as fucking TRADITION when the Xenomorphs only existed for like ONE CENTURY! Like boiiiii! This is like biggest fucking loop hole of all time! How are we going to have the new Squeakual to Predator franchise : The Predator, make sense when fucking Covenant FUCKED MY BUM HOLE WITH PLOT HOLES! Anyway holy shit someone explain.

[SUPERMAN112]

I will throw my two cents in, cause I'm a salty seal who wants his freakin fish.

First off this movie is one of the first times in a while that I have legitimately left the theater mad. I didn't see Prometheus cause my friends warned me not to go see it so I didn't. , I had nothing to do last night so I figured I would go check out the new installment in the alien franchise, hoping that Ridley Scott learned from Prometheus and put together a good movie, and after the Martian I had renewed faith in Ridley as a director. But no.. absolutely not, this movie was AWFUL and in my opinion WORSE than alien 3 and resurrection, because it isn't just satisfied by ruining itself, no, it has to ruin the mythos of the xenomorph...

The Neomorphs were fucking stupid... they somehow took one of the most original movie monster designs and made it look cliche... that stupid clicking it made... and then apparently you can reason with a xenomorph/neomorph now?... and then why if David apparently engineered the xenomorphs to be the best... why are they less advanced than the necromorph?... I mean a small pathogen that is airborne and gestates in a few hours is WAY more advanced than a damn facehugger/like a day gestate... and then what is with all the playing with the alien life cycle? Why did the alien burst nearly fully grow and why the hell was is mimicking david?? The CG on the xeno was awful... movie was beyond predictable... we all knew it was David besides the movies best efforts to trick us.. for some reason?... also how the hell was is david? he had time to lop off his hand and change clothes in that small window that they were running to the ship? bullshit... also why did he help them kill the alien? I thought he had a love for it as seen in the necromorph scene... but nope... maybe you could argue it's because he needs them to gestate more xenos...? but he has over 2,000 people.... just stupid...

This movie tried to be both an action movie and a horror movie, but failed at both... at best its a 4/10 for me, if not lower... the most I can hope for is the nest inevitable movie is to create the alien home-world and we get to see something kinda cool...

[SUPERMAN112]

BIG PLOT HOLE WTF LORE NO LONGER MAKE SENSE

► Show Spoiler

So rapey David, created the traditional Xenomorphs we all know and love. The movie takes place during like 2100s right? So how the fuck, are Predators able to hunt them as fucking TRADITION when the Xenomorphs only existed for like ONE CENTURY! Like boiiiii! This is like biggest fucking loop hole of all time! How are we going to have the new Squeakual to Predator franchise : The Predator, make sense when fucking Covenant FUCKED MY BUM HOLE WITH PLOT HOLES! Anyway holy shit someone explain.

that and in prometheus we saw alien looking designs on the walls... but David creates the xeno... so how are those there? honestly this shit only makes sense if they introduce time travel in the third movie

[NescauComToddy]

The AVP Universe is separated from the Alien universe, consequently CM is also a different universe if we associate the facts. Remembering that perhaps, David had only modified the engineers' creation, meaning that the Xenomorphs and their variations could have inhabited the universe well before the events of Prometheus and Covenant. Something also unusual, but that could make a connection with other possible universes.

[shyshadow]

The AVP Universe is separated from the Alien universe, consequently CM is also a different universe if we associate the facts. Remembering that perhaps, David had only modified the engineers' creation, meaning that the Xenomorphs and their variations could have inhabited the universe well before the events of Prometheus and Covenant. Something also unusual, but that could make a connection with other possible universes.

Actually, it's like legit because in Predator 2, in one of the trophy rooms, one of the skulls was undeniably a Xenomorph's skull. There was no Alien Vs Predator before then, so I highly doubt it would be included if they weren't in the same universe. It would just be dumb to make multiple universes.

[NescauComToddy]

Actually, it's like legit because in Predator 2, in one of the trophy rooms, one of the skulls was undeniably a Xenomorph's skull. There was no Alien Vs Predator before then, so I highly doubt it would be included if they weren't in the same universe. It would just be dumb to make multiple universes.

That was a simple easter-egg that influenced the creation of the AVP series. Nothing more. However, feel free to think about the various possibilities available for each plot-hole.

[zaeman744]

+1 Nice