Doctor/Medic stories

[Asmodius]

I'LL START WITH A GOODIE.

Be me, Asmodius "THE GOD MAN" Smith. Here I am, doing my god given duty, we're noticing a parasite issue, people are dying and in critical condition before they make it back to the dropship or back to the Almayer to begin with. So, I go to Requisitions and get me a surgery crate, go back to medical, fill a bag with supplies and shit I think I'll need, then I go on my god-given way. Here I am, being myself and going down on the dropship when I realize! I forgot my blood pills! Oh well, I'll just get Medical to send me some down on the dropship later. I get to the Nexus FOB, I see that the medics made a triage center with a W-Y med machine in the chapel. NOICE. So, here I am, doing ghetto surgery, fixing a bone, pulling a parasite here or there, just doing my thing. Some people are OD'ed on QC so I have to keep force defibbing them, the life, really.

(If you don't know, there's no way to deal with QC OD besides defibbing them every time they die with is every 2 seconds, no, dialysis doesn't work because it refuses to work at a certain damage threshhold, it also refuses to work on dead people, so, stop OD'ing people on QC bad medics.)

So, after my god given duties slow down, I take it upon myself to clean up the FOB, and clean it I do, this place is immaculate more or less by the time I'm done, Marines are winning, pushing the Xeno's pack. I'm standing there, wiping blood and more blood that isn't mine off of my M3 marine armor, life is hard. SMG on my hip, I stroll over to LZ1, see some Marine's evac'ing that needed more facility than I could provide, besides the two critpained ones laying down, we had a couple of fine Marines standing around the LZ waiting for it to come down. NOW THIS BIG 'OL QUEEN COMES TO THE LZ FOR SOME REASON, SWINGING HER BIG ASS HEAD AROUND LIKE SHE OWNS THE PLACE. The Marines instantly have something tick in their brains that makes them say "GET 'HER" and then the marine blood lust kicked in, they chased and wouldn't stop. Now, I'd be lying if I said I stayed at the LZ, I think I had started the chase to be honest. She screeches, I have to order the men "NOT ONE STEP BACK" I was piling the SMG rounds into this big 'ol bih. Eventually she goes down, the Marines cheer, some 15 minutes later, Marines win.

It was great.

[Recounted]

Healing boots left and right after a crusher and boiler combo on ice.Nasty damage, alot of em was in crit had one other medic helping nearby. The medic quick clotted one boot,seeing his health bar I scanned him seeing he needed a quicky, I jab that quickclot shit right in, one second later he died from oding on quickclot. Called the medic a boot for oding the marine and continued on healin the dead and dying marines.

[Garrison]

Playing as CMO during low peak time in the Medbay, I'm busy optimizing the Cryo fluid, when I come back to place the beakers, I find the Doctors have someone in Cryo, an OD patient (Quick clot I assume). I don't know how they got the Cryo chamber going without a beaker (more on that in a bit). But I get it in and get the guy stabilized.

After tending to a few people, I find the same guy lying in the lobby crying out in agony, despite the fact my HealthHud reports that he's perfectly healthy. A quick scan with an analyzer explains why. 504Units of Dylovene in his system. HOW IN THE WORLD!?

We toss him in a sleeper to try to filter it all out, but the dialysis is taking far too long. By the time the Aliens had boarded, we had only gotten him down to 100 units of Dylovene. Sad part was that we were working round the clock to fix him. I think what happened was that one of the Doctors put a bottle of Dylovene into the the Cryo Chamber and tried to use it to get it working. We figured out who the Doctor was, I gave him a massive angry lecture, (cause why in the heck would you do that?) my words didn't appear to get through to him though. Although I believe there is an alternative method of purging chems out of someones system. I didn't remember how to do it and didn't have the time to look it up during the round.

[misto]

i got a great story about a doctor for ya. a nice doctor came down in a dropship and was tending to us. i was stuck on a roller bed due to being horribly mangled by aliens. the doctor seemed like a pretty cool dude and was roleplayed as being very fascinated by the aliens. the aliens of course soon broke the defenses and charged in, and the brave doctor grabbed my bed and tried to pull me away from the danger. with few other options for retreat, he pulled me across the landing pad. the ds then touched down, mashing us both apart. i had a good laugh

[Forst]

A doc was fixing all my broken bones, but was stopped when a xeno broke in. The doc broke all of them again with poorly placed buckshot from my shotgun he stole.

[CraayyZ]

I was playing on the map, LV-624, I was doing my regular, tend to the wounded/save lives as a doctor. When out of nowhere, a Elite Runner appears from a vent! I shoot it 3 times, before it pounces me and proceeds to slash me, but then OUT OF NOWHERE! Another [Standard] Baldrine with a Shotgun loaded with BUCKSHOT, takes the shot. I somehow, simultaneously STAND UP as he fires. The impact of the Shot injuring both me and the Elite Runner. Elite Runner gets crit'd and eventually dies, while my hand flies away like a ragdoll. Thankfully I still had my Left hand (is prosthetic <3) and proceed to patch the stump, of where my right hand use to be, Pop 2 15u pills of Tramadol, and get on my way to tend to the wounded WITH ONE HAND.

Meanwhile, the Aliens decide to assault the FOB at LZ 1. So being the Battle Hardened Medic I am, I got straight back to work, evac'ing wounded, critical, etc. I myself should've been med-evac'd but I wasn't gonna let a missing hand stop me from saving others. I spent the next hour of that round working, saving wounded, moving them to the Normandy (DS 1?) and tending to them as best as I can. All.. With.. One... Hand. I kept count, and managed to help/save atleast 15 Marines. Eventually we get pushed back to the Normandy. Where there are bleeding/dying/suffocating Marines EVERYWHERE. Again, like always, Back to work!

Soon enough, I'm in Medical bay helping the Doctors with the wounded. Doing the best I can with one hand, yelling at other Medics about what's their excuse to not be working? I got one hand! Eventually the Aliens finally decided (after 30 mins) to attack the Almayer. I use my hand, equip my SMG, ready for battle. (After the Screenshot was taken) Move with the others and Open Fire, kill atleast 4 T1s/2s. Being one handed in combat ain't easy. Gotta constantly tell random Marines and drop a magazine so they can reload my gun for me so I can keep kicking ass. I continue to do so until I get Crusher meme'd, ending the tale of the One Handed Medic.

EDITED! Better worded and Screenshot!

► Show Spoiler

- TL;DR - One Hand Medic does more work than half the Medics on the team.

[Nyeshivuu]

Remember when the sulaco was turned into a gulag? Well i was a doctor, and i had packed a 9mm when i heard ib boarded, i was treating marines when the ib raided the medbay, shot any marines who didn't stand down. I was rping with an ib about "oh my dad was ib" then when he turned his back i unloaded the gun into him. Not one bullet penetrated the armor. I was like "it was misfire please don't kill me" i then got shot to death.

[Symbiosis]

Be Doctor.

Patient is dragged in missing an arm with fractures on two other limbs.

UNSCHEDULED DROPSHIP DEPARTURE

Tell Patient there's no time for lengthy surgery.

He tells me it's not possible, to leave him and evac.

No... It's necessary.

Pop him a 30u Oxy.

Whip out Circular saw after queuing three limbs in each OR room.

Scalpel, Retractor, Cautery.

Limbs re-attached. Roboman stands up just as the shuttle hits the station... landing on top of us.

GEEGEE

[Ping]

Ooh, ok.

LV, the river push failed and we were in the process of moving the wounded out of Hydro. The only guys in Hydro left were me, a revivable corpse, an unrevivable corpse, and an SL. It was pretty damn grim, I was missing my right hand, and there were a few Xenos trying to break into the front door. So I take the revivable corpse and start moving out of Hydro through the east path.

Roughly halfway into the journey, we get blessed with the presence of fucking THREE Ravagers. One of them immediately kills the SL and they begin swarming me and the corpse. I let go of the corpse and pull out my gyro shotty and then begin firing blindly, all while screaming like a fucking idiot in panic. And somehow, it fucking works: I managed to kill one of the Young Ravagers with about 4 buckshot while the other two were slashing at me, and my other shots somehow manages to land directly into the other Ravagers face, causing them to fall back. I somehow managed to save myself surrounded by three Ravagers with only one hand.

I manage to drag myself to North Nexus and Chubs the medic immediately starts treating my broken skull. The best part of that encounter was the fact that by some miracle, the corpse that I left behind gets dragged into North Nexus and freaking gets revived, and the SL's corpse is retrieved too and also gets revived. The entire thing felt like a fever dream. At the end of that day, both me and the first revived marine manage to get out on an escape pod (SL probably died again).

[Mr.Smooooth]

So, this story happened a long long time ago, back when we were flying the Sulaco, and fighting on the Nostromo. All the way back when Banter Squad was still a thing, but didn't devolve into a massive pile of suck yet. Back then, we had combat surgical kits that medics could carry into the warzone.

The mission had gone surprisingly smoothly. Bravo had worked to fortify the arrivals section as an FOB, and I'd converted a local office into a field hospital. Working as a one-man M.A.S.H., Winston 'Doc' O'Malley was cutting embryos out of marines faster then the aliens could put them in. The round was pretty rocky, I was swamped for most of the round, a constant stream of marines coming in for surgical treatment. In the waning minutes of the round, all four squads launched an assault on the main hive/hatchery in the science wing. It seemed to be going well, as my backlog cleared and few marines were calling for treatment.

Two bravo standards drag in the Bravo SL, Xur Durgens, badly injured with an alien in him. He's immediately rushed into surgery, and the other two head back to the front. At this time, Xur and I are the only two live marines in the FOB. I'm halfway through surgery, when the ALIEN QUEEN barges into my field hospital. I'm not sure how she escaped the raid on the central hive, but at that moment, I didn't much care, and pulled my pulse rifle. The Queen Screeches, and I drop it. Fuck this. I grab my scalpel and surgical saw, and charge!

What ensued was one of my most robust moments of ss13, as I attacked the Xeno Queen in melee combat. I exploited my faster speed to keep myself out of her strikes, while slicing her reducing her to miniature mince meat with my massive malicious medical malpractice. She got some good hits in, one more and I probably would have ended up in paincrit. Finally though, she fell. As she died, the round end was announced. Before the server reset, I limped back to my patient, removed the embryo, and stitched him back up.

[Garrison]

Snip

We got a badass over here

[Mr.Smooooth]

We got a badass over here

Wouldn't expect to pull it off today, CM back then was a completely different beast, but it's one of my favorite moments I've had on this server.