h'ulij-bpe thar'n-dha (Crazy Strength)

[spartanbobby]

Byond ID:
Spartanbobby
Marine Name (so we know who you are, if you play alien mostly, state that here):
John ‘Spartan’ Murry

Name of the character you want whitelisted (The name your predator will use. This must match your in-game predator name): h'ulij-bpe thar'n-dha (Crazy Strength)

Are you familiar with the Predator Code Of Honor? Yes

Character background (A very BRIEF description of your predators background):
h'ulij-bpe thar'n-dha kneeled down before his elder, Un-blooded hardly worthy of being in the same room as the elder still he waited for the elder to speak. “h'ulij-bpe thar'n-dha your final trial has come, You are to go to the planet below with only your awu'asa and ki'cti-pa and hunt the most honorable prey” h'ulij-bpe still kneeled his eyes trained on the floor he was scared to say the least he wasn’t known for his amazing ability to use his wrist blades in fact he was much better at using spears and other polearms but he felt the elders already knew this. While he was thinking he almost missed the elder speaking again “Leave us, Prepare for your trial” He quickly nodded, Standing up and taking his leave. H'ulij-bpe readies himself for the trial grabbing his mask, armour and...wrist blades looking at them filled his mind with doubt how could he do this with such a close range weapon? Nevertheless he pushed onwards not wanting to waste time he quickly jumps into a small ship and flies down to the planet below.

On the way down the elders voice rumbles into his ear “You have three days to complete your trial or we leave without you, Your target is south of the landing area.” H'ulij-bpe nodded to himself setting down on the planet quickly jumping out of his ship and moving to examine the area. What stood before him was a large jungle, tall trees everywhere, wildlife run freely around the area most easily camouflaged by the dense planet life. H'ulij-bpe takes off quickly moving south. Hours of running has left h'ulij-bpe tired, Stopping by a tree and laying down to rest h'ulij-bpe looks to the sky thinking away to himself. He had never seen a serpent before only ever heard storys of them from others that liked to brag about their many trophies he couldn’t say he wasn’t jealous having many trophies will long stories about them it must be grea- His thoughts were cut short by a loud rummaging in the bushies h'ulij-bpe stood up, extending his wrist blades focused on where the noise came from. Suddenly something jumps out of the bushes! A wild beast about half his size covered in green fur with black stripes, It walked on all fours its paws dawned with almost blade like claw. The creature lets out a low growl showing its sharp teeth but keeping a good distance away. H'ulij-bpe looks to his wrists he has little trust in these blades but it's all he has for now. The creature takes this moment rushing and jumping onto h'ulij-bpe tackling him to the ground! The beast claws and bites at him digging its teeth into his right arm, h'ulij-bpe lets out a roar of both rage and pain before slashing at the beast's neck with his other arms wrist blade! The beast lets out a screech of pain blood gushing out of its neck it bites down harder on h'ulij-bpe’s arm forcing him to roar another powerful pain filled roar driving his wrist blades into the creature's neck once more forcing them as deep as he could before repeatedly stabbing it over and over...The creature falls limp clearly dead and lifeless. h'ulij-bpe lets out a long pain filled sigh “This weapon will not do anymore…” he mutters as blood slowly oozes from his battle damaged arm.


H'ulij-bpe looks in astonishment “Finally, I’m here” stood before him a large sandstone building covered in vines and statues of his fellow species. He checks his damaged arm resecuring the green and black fur he wrapped around it to stop the bleeding. Walking into the building he’d see a long and surprisingly well lit hallway, Carved into the walls drawings of large serpent creatures fighting his kin. He walked on looking down at the spear he had thrown together, A long thin branch with a sharp dagger like tooth secured to it with fur and plant fibers Almost like a trophy turned weapon. H'ulij-bpe finds himself in a round open room with only one other entry way, A door made from some kind of metal and covered in vines. He takes another step forward carelessly stepping on a pressure pad...A loud bang from behind he quickly turns around finding his entrance blocked by a gate, Turning back around he’d see the once closed door slowly falling into the ground behind it lay a black abyss. Before h'ulij-bpe was able to move a loud “hiss” harasses his eardrums, From the darkness he thought he could see something moving... A tall black lizard about the same size as him emerges from the darkness, It had a smooth banana like head, Slender body with skinny arms and sharp claws not forgetting its razor sharp scythe like tail.

H'ulij-bpe stares down the serpent grabbing his makeshift weapon with both hands ready for anything. The serpent let out another hiss, Opening its mouth and letting its inner jaw snap out for a brief second before moving slighter closer. H'ulij-bpe Was unsure of what to do the serpent wasn’t rushing him like he thought it would instead waiting for his move, smarter than he had imagined, Suddenly the serpent sprang to life running to him with incredible speed, He tightened his grip on the spear like weapon he had crafted and got ready to attack. The serpent attempted to leap onto the hunter but was stopped midair when his spear drove through its chest, The serpent thrashed and slashed before slowly going limp the hunter carelessly kicked the serpent off his spear looking at its limp body on the ground before he noticed the blood on his spear slowly melting away at the sharpened tooth, Quickly tossing the makeshift weapon away he failed to notice the serpent's tail slowly moving towards his feet..suddenly his world was turned upside down the serpent had swiped his feet away from under him leaving him defenceless on the ground! The serpent quickly got onto its feet jumping onto the hunter making sure he couldn’t get back up, the lizard started slashing away at the hunter's chest. H'ulij-bpe roared in pain extending his wrist blades the hunter slashed into the serpents arm before headbutting the creature away from him. The serpent showed no pain only letting out a low hiss as the hunter got back on his feet for a second H'ulij-bpe thought that the weapon he once hated may have just saved his life. Both of them were worn and battered the hunters old wound had reopened during the fighting and the serpents acidic blood and started slowly dripping down its carapace the hunter wanted to end this it was his time to rush the lizard he bolted forward as fast as his wounded body could carry him, Ramming into the serpent the hunter takes it to the ground! With his wrist blades he repeatedly slams his blade down into the serpent's head...It was dead, Its ‘face’ smashed into nothing from the repeated attacks. He would have to remind himself to be cleaner next time. Standing up and looking over the body he grumbled “I hope this will be a good story to tell.” before setting off back to his ship.


How do you intend to play your predator (as in, describe HOW you will act/play your predator. This will weigh HEAVILY and frequently breaking from this MAY result in removal)? I want to focus on spear weapons like the combi-stick or the makeshift spear as the primary weapons to use on a hunt, Maybe only using the combi-stick to hunt aliens while giving marines I fight/duel a fairer fight with the makeshift spear.

When it comes down to hunting marines I’d like to avoid going after SLs, Medics and engineers they are key roles and killing one of them could ruin or slow round for everyone else. The same goes for xenos, I don't think I could deal with killing the queen even if the xenos were winning it will just slow down the round and make it less fun for everyone else involved.


Why should we whitelist you?
I can and will follow the rules and honor code to a T, I have 3 notes on the server (two of them being jokes) so I feel I can be trusted with the role. Although I am aware I have very little forum activity and am hoping I can improve on that in the future. I really enjoy RPing on the server and try to do it as much as I can as a marine but it can hard to RP and fight at the sametime I hoping that will be different as a pred so I can let others have a good time RPing with me while I have fun RPing with them.

Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason (we will check, and lies may result in immediate denial)? Never.
Are you currently banned from any other servers and if so, why? Nope.

Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or disobey the Predator Code of Honor? Understood.

[Biolock]

Spartan is a good dude, good roleplayer, and shows a legitimate understanding of the predator on both a knowledge base of understanding and a meta understanding. The story was interesting, and I think he made good use of what limited options are seemingly available for the "way you intend to play".
+1

[Karmac]

Sure his post count is low and the grammar isn't the best but he's been around for a while and the translator will do a good job of ruining his messages anyways so those two things don't particularly bother me. The story was a good read, made sense and wasn't too far fetched so that's a plus, and the playstyle is very 'Murry-esque', which I guess is unique in its own right, so kudos to that. All in all I have to give him a +1, Murry knows what he's doing and I trust he'll do just fine as an honorbru breadator.

[spartanbobby]

Sure his post count is low and the grammar isn't the best but he's been around for a while and the translator will do a good job of ruining his messages anyways so those two things don't particularly bother me. The story was a good read, made sense and wasn't too far fetched so that's a plus, and the playstyle is very 'Murry-esque', which I guess is unique in its own right, so kudos to that. All in all I have to give him a +1, Murry knows what he's doing and I trust he'll do just fine as an honorbru breadator.

Spartan is a good dude, good roleplayer, and shows a legitimate understanding of the predator on both a knowledge base of understanding and a meta understanding. The story was interesting, and I think he made good use of what limited options are seemingly available for the "way you intend to play".
+1

Thanks a bunch for the support guys It means a lot.

[Boltersam]

Spartan's been around for a while, and he's shown that he's capable of roleplaying.
That being said, it doesn't really make up for the negatives.

Firstly, forum activity needs to be improved. It's a big part of being a Predator that you help review apps.

Secondly, after taking a quick run through of the app, grammar hurts. I'm a stickler for grammar, and it's not very good here. It was actually painful when I started properly reading through the app.

As for the story, it's the run of the mill hunting story. Short bit at the start where the Elders force him not to use his favoured weapon, which was okay, but then we got to the actual fight, which I couldn't really get engaged with, and the constant use of exclamation marks started to wear away at me. Of course, he kills the creature. He chooses to stop using his wristblades and put together a makeshift spear, which, to be honest, wouldn't compare to wristblades at all in sharpness or durability and would be a severe downgrade, but eh. He gets to the temple, there's a Xeno. Somehow, his makeshift spear manages to pierce through the tough carapace with the tip being a tooth. Considering it's literally a tooth on the end of a long stick that's held together with vines, I'm surprised it didn't break, skid off, etc. Surprise, the Xeno isn't killed by the crappy weapon, and takes our protagonist by surprise, which is realistic, at least. Despite this, a wrestling match ensues and the Xeno gets pulverised by wristblades.

None of this told me about your Predator's personality. I know he likes spears, I guess. That's it. You could've gone in without a story and I'd receive the same amount of information. (The spear focus is in the playstyle.) The story was a huge letdown, considering it didn't accomplish anything.

More grammar problems in the playstyle. Really though, the playstyle doesn't have anything special to it. You have a weapon you want to focus on, and you're making sure that you kill grunts, but this doesn't really tell us how you'll do the killing.

Honestly, Spartan, you're a good guy, and a good player, but this app was god awful. -1.

[spartanbobby]

Spartan's been around for a while, and he's shown that he's capable of roleplaying.
That being said, it doesn't really make up for the negatives.

Firstly, forum activity needs to be improved. It's a big part of being a Predator that you help review apps.

Secondly, after taking a quick run through of the app, grammar hurts. I'm a stickler for grammar, and it's not very good here. It was actually painful when I started properly reading through the app.

As for the story, it's the run of the mill hunting story. Short bit at the start where the Elders force him not to use his favoured weapon, which was okay, but then we got to the actual fight, which I couldn't really get engaged with, and the constant use of exclamation marks started to wear away at me. Of course, he kills the creature. He chooses to stop using his wristblades and put together a makeshift spear, which, to be honest, wouldn't compare to wristblades at all in sharpness or durability and would be a severe downgrade, but eh. He gets to the temple, there's a Xeno. Somehow, his makeshift spear manages to pierce through the tough carapace with the tip being a tooth. Considering it's literally a tooth on the end of a long stick that's held together with vines, I'm surprised it didn't break, skid off, etc. Surprise, the Xeno isn't killed by the crappy weapon, and takes our protagonist by surprise, which is realistic, at least. Despite this, a wrestling match ensues and the Xeno gets pulverised by wristblades.

None of this told me about your Predator's personality. I know he likes spears, I guess. That's it. You could've gone in without a story and I'd receive the same amount of information. (The spear focus is in the playstyle.) The story was a huge letdown, considering it didn't accomplish anything.

More grammar problems in the playstyle. Really though, the playstyle doesn't have anything special to it. You have a weapon you want to focus on, and you're making sure that you kill grunts, but this doesn't really tell us how you'll do the killing.

Honestly, Spartan, you're a good guy, and a good player, but this app was god awful. -1.

Yeah my forum activity isn't that great, I try to look at the forums at least once every day but I don't post often enough.
My grammar sucks I know as soon as you mentioned grammar in M-Chat I died a little inside remembering I forgot to ask my good friend to take a look before I posted it.
Anyway, I'll take what you said to heart and try come back better if there's a next time.
Thanks for taking the time to read and post.

[Feweh]

Nothing brought me more enjoyment than blowing off all your limbs the otherday and watching your torso and head dragged around.

With that said, ive never seen you rp before.

[Sleepy Retard]

Nothing brought me more enjoyment than blowing off all your limbs the otherday and watching your torso and head dragged around.

With that said, ive never seen you rp before.

He usually does RP, first drop and before. After that, he is usually dead in crit so he's shit out of luck for the roleplay. Mostly see it with retards/ Rain Winterson and myself, few others included I believe.

--

Onto the actual application. Grammar was awful, which is no surprise considering he's a scot. In addition, the story was okay and fine. Most other predator stories were uninteresting and boring, including all the accepted ones so it's probably near par for those ones and I probably have bad taste.

I liked it when he made a shifty ass spear to stab the xeno, even if it didn't do anything. Shows more personality than other predators IMO but again maybe just me.

+1 i guess

[Casgair]

My habit of proofreading got the better of me and I cleaned up the story with some minor edits:

► Show Spoiler

H'ulij-bpe thar'n-dha kneeled down before his elder. Un-blooded, hardly worthy of being in the same room as the elder. Still, he waited for the elder to speak. “H'ulij-bpe thar'n-dha your final trial has come. You are to go to the planet below with only your awu'asa and ki'cti-pa and hunt the most honorable prey.” H'ulij-bpe still kneeled, eyes trained on the floor. He was scared to say the least. He wasn’t known for his amazing ability to use the wrist blades — in fact he was much better at using spears and other polearms. But surely, he felt, the elders already knew this. While lost in thought he almost missed the elder continue, “Leave us, Prepare for your trial.” He quickly nodded, standing up and taking his leave. H'ulij-bpe readied himself for the trial, grabbing his mask, armour and ... looking at the wrist blades filled his mind with doubt. How could he do this with such a close-range weapon? Nevertheless, he pushed onward, not wanting to waste time, quickly jumping into a small ship and setting its course for the planet below.

On the way down the elder’s voice rumbled into his ear: “You have three days to complete your trial or we leave without you. Your target is south of the landing area.” H'ulij-bpe nodded to himself, setting down on the planet. He leapt out of his ship and began moving to examine the area. What stood before him was a large jungle, tall trees flanked him as far as he could see. Wildlife ran freely around the area, most easily camouflaged from the planet’s dense flora. Wasting no time, H'ulij-bpe sprinted off toward the south. Hours of running later, H'ulij-bpe found himself tired and worn.

Finding respite beside a tree and laying down to rest, H'ulij-bpe looked toward the sky, thinking away to himself. He had never seen a serpent before, only ever heard stories of them from the others that had liked to brag about their many trophies. He couldn’t say he wasn’t jealous, to have so many trophies with long stories to go with them. It must be grea– His thoughts were cut short by a loud rummaging in the underbrush. H'ulij-bpe stood up, extending his wrist blades, focused on where the sound had come from. Suddenly, a creature burst from the bushes! It was a wild beast about half his size, covered in green fur with black stripes, walking on all fours with paws adorned with almost blade-like claws. The creature let out a low growl, showing its sharp fangs but keeping a good distance away.

H'ulij-bpe looked to his wrists. He had little trust in these blades, and yet for now they were all he had. Taking advantage of that slight moment the creature rushed and pounced onto H'ulij-bpe, tackling him to the ground! Raking its claws, the beast gnashed at the still un-blooded predator, digging its teeth into his right arm. Letting out a roar of both rage and pain, H'ulij-bpe pulls his other arm toward the beast, slashing at its neck with his wrist blade! A screech of pain rang out from the creature as blood gushed from its neck, the pain causing it to bite down harder on H'ulij-bpe’s arm. The teeth, like knives, forcing out another powerful pain-filled roar as the hunter drove his wrist blades into the creature’s neck once more, forcing them as deep as he could, before stabbing it over and over and over...

The creature fell limp, clearly dead and lifeless. H'ulij-bpe let out a long sigh seeped in pain, “This weapon will not do anymore…” he muttered, as blood slowly oozed from his battle damaged arm.

***

H'ulij-bpe looked on in astonishment. “Finally, I’m here.” Standing before him was a large sandstone building covered in vines and statues of his fellow species. As we walked into the building with its long and surprisingly well lit hallway, he glanced at the green and black fur he had wrapped around his arm to stop the bleeding and gave it a slight tug to ensure it was secure. Carved into the walls drawings of the large serpent creatures he’d heard those stories of, fighting his kin. He walked on, looking down at the spear he had thrown together — a long thin branch with a sharp dagger-like tooth secured to it by fur and plant fibers. It was almost like a trophy turned weapon.

H'ulij-bpe found himself in a round open room, with only a single entry way forward, stopped by door made from some kind of metal and covered in vines. Taking another step forward, H'ulij-bpe carelessly stepped on a pressure pad! Hearing a loud bang from behind, he whirled around only to find his entrance blocked by a gate. Turning back around, he saw the once closed door, slowly falling into the ground. Behind it lay a black abyss. Before H'ulij-bpe was able to move, a loud “hiss” harassed his eardrums, and from the darkness he thought he could see something moving... A tall black lizard, nearly the same size as he was, emerged from the darkness. It had a smooth, banana-like head, slender body with skinny arms and sharp claws — not forgetting its razor-sharp scythe like tail.

Staring down the serpent, H'ulij-bpe grabbed his makeshift weapon in both hands, ready for anything. The serpent let out another hiss, opening its mouth and letting its inner jaw snap out for a brief second before edging ever closer. H'ulij-bpe was unsure of what to do. The serpent wasn’t rushing him like he thought it would, instead waiting for his move. It smarter than he had imagined. Suddenly, the serpent sprang to life rushing at him with incredible speed. He tightened his grip on his spear-like weapon, ready to attack. The serpent attempted to leap onto the hunter, but caught midair as the spear drove through its chest. The serpent thrashed and slashed before slowly going limp.

The hunter carelessly kicked the serpent off his spear, looking at its limp body on the ground, before noticing the blood on his spear was slowly melting away at the sharpened tooth. Quickly tossing the makeshift weapon away, he failed to notice the serpent's tail slowly moving towards his feet. In an instant, his world was turned upside down — the serpent had swiped his feet away from under him, leaving him defenseless on the ground! The serpent sprang onto its feet and crashed its weight onto the hunter, making sure he couldn’t get back up. Slashing away at the hunter's chest, H'ulij-bpe roared in pain, extending his wrist blades. The hunter slashed into the serpent’s arm, headbutting the creature away from him. For all his effort the serpent showed no pain, only letting out a low hiss as the hunter got back to his feet. For a split second, H'ulij-bpe knew the weapon he once hated may have just saved his life. Both prey and predator were worn and battered, the hunter’s old wound reopening in the melee and the serpent’s acidic blood slowly dripping down its carapace. The hunter wanted to end this. Now it was his time to rush the lizard — he bolted forward as fast as his wounded body could carry him, ramming into the serpent with all his strength, H'ulij-bpe brought his prey to the ground! With a frenzy he had never before known, his wrist blades came down on the serpent’s head time and time again, flashing against the abyss…

***

It was dead, its ‘face’ smashed into nothing from the repeated attacks. He would have to remind himself to be cleaner next time. Standing up and looking over the body he grumbled, “I hope this will be a good story to tell” before setting off back to his ship.

[Kavlo]

I like it.

+1

[jusa297]

I love the "Respectfull student" And your name reminds me of the G L I S T E N I N G M U S C L E S

On the weaponry bit:

Me likey. Spear good.

+1

[spartanbobby]

My habit of proofreading got the better of me and I cleaned up the story with some minor edits:

► Show Spoiler

H'ulij-bpe thar'n-dha kneeled down before his elder. Un-blooded, hardly worthy of being in the same room as the elder. Still, he waited for the elder to speak. “H'ulij-bpe thar'n-dha your final trial has come. You are to go to the planet below with only your awu'asa and ki'cti-pa and hunt the most honorable prey.” H'ulij-bpe still kneeled, eyes trained on the floor. He was scared to say the least. He wasn’t known for his amazing ability to use the wrist blades — in fact he was much better at using spears and other polearms. But surely, he felt, the elders already knew this. While lost in thought he almost missed the elder continue, “Leave us, Prepare for your trial.” He quickly nodded, standing up and taking his leave. H'ulij-bpe readied himself for the trial, grabbing his mask, armour and ... looking at the wrist blades filled his mind with doubt. How could he do this with such a close-range weapon? Nevertheless, he pushed onward, not wanting to waste time, quickly jumping into a small ship and setting its course for the planet below.

On the way down the elder’s voice rumbled into his ear: “You have three days to complete your trial or we leave without you. Your target is south of the landing area.” H'ulij-bpe nodded to himself, setting down on the planet. He leapt out of his ship and began moving to examine the area. What stood before him was a large jungle, tall trees flanked him as far as he could see. Wildlife ran freely around the area, most easily camouflaged from the planet’s dense flora. Wasting no time, H'ulij-bpe sprinted off toward the south. Hours of running later, H'ulij-bpe found himself tired and worn.

Finding respite beside a tree and laying down to rest, H'ulij-bpe looked toward the sky, thinking away to himself. He had never seen a serpent before, only ever heard stories of them from the others that had liked to brag about their many trophies. He couldn’t say he wasn’t jealous, to have so many trophies with long stories to go with them. It must be grea– His thoughts were cut short by a loud rummaging in the underbrush. H'ulij-bpe stood up, extending his wrist blades, focused on where the sound had come from. Suddenly, a creature burst from the bushes! It was a wild beast about half his size, covered in green fur with black stripes, walking on all fours with paws adorned with almost blade-like claws. The creature let out a low growl, showing its sharp fangs but keeping a good distance away.

H'ulij-bpe looked to his wrists. He had little trust in these blades, and yet for now they were all he had. Taking advantage of that slight moment the creature rushed and pounced onto H'ulij-bpe, tackling him to the ground! Raking its claws, the beast gnashed at the still un-blooded predator, digging its teeth into his right arm. Letting out a roar of both rage and pain, H'ulij-bpe pulls his other arm toward the beast, slashing at its neck with his wrist blade! A screech of pain rang out from the creature as blood gushed from its neck, the pain causing it to bite down harder on H'ulij-bpe’s arm. The teeth, like knives, forcing out another powerful pain-filled roar as the hunter drove his wrist blades into the creature’s neck once more, forcing them as deep as he could, before stabbing it over and over and over...

The creature fell limp, clearly dead and lifeless. H'ulij-bpe let out a long sigh seeped in pain, “This weapon will not do anymore…” he muttered, as blood slowly oozed from his battle damaged arm.

***

H'ulij-bpe looked on in astonishment. “Finally, I’m here.” Standing before him was a large sandstone building covered in vines and statues of his fellow species. As we walked into the building with its long and surprisingly well lit hallway, he glanced at the green and black fur he had wrapped around his arm to stop the bleeding and gave it a slight tug to ensure it was secure. Carved into the walls drawings of the large serpent creatures he’d heard those stories of, fighting his kin. He walked on, looking down at the spear he had thrown together — a long thin branch with a sharp dagger-like tooth secured to it by fur and plant fibers. It was almost like a trophy turned weapon.

H'ulij-bpe found himself in a round open room, with only a single entry way forward, stopped by door made from some kind of metal and covered in vines. Taking another step forward, H'ulij-bpe carelessly stepped on a pressure pad! Hearing a loud bang from behind, he whirled around only to find his entrance blocked by a gate. Turning back around, he saw the once closed door, slowly falling into the ground. Behind it lay a black abyss. Before H'ulij-bpe was able to move, a loud “hiss” harassed his eardrums, and from the darkness he thought he could see something moving... A tall black lizard, nearly the same size as he was, emerged from the darkness. It had a smooth, banana-like head, slender body with skinny arms and sharp claws — not forgetting its razor-sharp scythe like tail.

Staring down the serpent, H'ulij-bpe grabbed his makeshift weapon in both hands, ready for anything. The serpent let out another hiss, opening its mouth and letting its inner jaw snap out for a brief second before edging ever closer. H'ulij-bpe was unsure of what to do. The serpent wasn’t rushing him like he thought it would, instead waiting for his move. It smarter than he had imagined. Suddenly, the serpent sprang to life rushing at him with incredible speed. He tightened his grip on his spear-like weapon, ready to attack. The serpent attempted to leap onto the hunter, but caught midair as the spear drove through its chest. The serpent thrashed and slashed before slowly going limp.

The hunter carelessly kicked the serpent off his spear, looking at its limp body on the ground, before noticing the blood on his spear was slowly melting away at the sharpened tooth. Quickly tossing the makeshift weapon away, he failed to notice the serpent's tail slowly moving towards his feet. In an instant, his world was turned upside down — the serpent had swiped his feet away from under him, leaving him defenseless on the ground! The serpent sprang onto its feet and crashed its weight onto the hunter, making sure he couldn’t get back up. Slashing away at the hunter's chest, H'ulij-bpe roared in pain, extending his wrist blades. The hunter slashed into the serpent’s arm, headbutting the creature away from him. For all his effort the serpent showed no pain, only letting out a low hiss as the hunter got back to his feet. For a split second, H'ulij-bpe knew the weapon he once hated may have just saved his life. Both prey and predator were worn and battered, the hunter’s old wound reopening in the melee and the serpent’s acidic blood slowly dripping down its carapace. The hunter wanted to end this. Now it was his time to rush the lizard — he bolted forward as fast as his wounded body could carry him, ramming into the serpent with all his strength, H'ulij-bpe brought his prey to the ground! With a frenzy he had never before known, his wrist blades came down on the serpent’s head time and time again, flashing against the abyss…

***

It was dead, its ‘face’ smashed into nothing from the repeated attacks. He would have to remind himself to be cleaner next time. Standing up and looking over the body he grumbled, “I hope this will be a good story to tell” before setting off back to his ship.

Thats...really really nice of you thanks so much butyoudidn'tneedtodothat

I like it.

+1

I also like it

I love the "Respectfull student" And your name reminds me of the G L I S T E N I N G M U S C L E S

On the weaponry bit:

Me likey. Spear good.

+1

/Glistening Muscles/
Thanks for the support everyone.

[SagaSword]

You're a good player, I've seen you RP before but I haven't really engaged with you in any deep RP situations but I won't say you're bad though, Just neutral.
Overall, the application is good, damn this story is awesome but yea the personality is lacking a bit (I ain't complaining, even I have this problem when writing the Pred App)
I feel like setting up a good mood for the story is all an app needs. Regardless, I will give you my +1 try not to fail us in RP, I do like me some good RP.

[Rain7x]

You are one of the few marines willing to RP with preds, and that's great. I also really like your idea of the spears, the combi-stick is one of my favorites, although nothing can beat the wrist blades. I also think you clearly understand predator honor code.

+1 from me.

[Renomaki]

I don't know if I remember this correctly, but I think you were my second kill as a newbie predator. Aaah.. Memories...

Your playstyle is somewhat interesting, what with your focus on polearms over types of weapons (which is mildly refreshing from all the "I'll fight with claws only" styles). The fact that you wish to avoid targeting vital members of the factions shows that you also understand the impact of your actions and the desire to keep things from spiraling out of control too quickly.

A predator that understand that with great power comes great responsibility is a good chap in me books.

[Youbar]

The fact that you wish to avoid targeting vital members of the factions shows that you also understand the impact of your actions and the desire to keep things from spiraling out of control too quickly.

This idea goes against how a Yautja would function according to lore. Unfortunately, vital members of any factions are often the ones with the most power and status, and are therefore better trophies for Yautja to collect. Gathering the heads of five hunters, two standards, a medic, and three drones isn't quite as rewarding honour-wise as gathering the heads of a queen, a ravager, a squad leader, a commander, and a pilot officer. There might be less of the latter, but they're also far more valuable. I suppose this is something that is required, though, to prevent tipping the scales too much towards either side.

[Dolth]

Leaving vets for cool kid club. You break my heart.

Tho you deserve it. Didn't RPed a lot with you but enough to know you and know you won't fuck up like the usual preds we have (aka suicide charge bomb, rambo caster/speargun etc)

+1

[Recounted]

Its a yea for me
+1

[Heckenshutze]

Ah, spartan.. the guy with the eternal headband, the guy who fought a ravager in his briefs with a knife.

It's always a pleasure to be on your side on the battlefield you're one of the few marines I desire to give a hand when they need it.

Saying that, I've had good memories with you, so I'm giving my +1. However, This comes with an obligation from your part, You need to improve your forum activity starting now.

[Kerek]

I've had good experiences with Spartan myself, his story had its share of flaws but I personally judge more on my experiences and how others talk about them. I've talked to him ICly and OOCly, befriended him (i think) as a marine and hunted the living shit out of him as a predator. Great experiences in both ways and was okay with being slayn, and still being okay OOCly when I slew him and his squad because they attacked the lodge.

+1, hope to see you in the hunt.

[Sarah_U.]

I tried to post this like 7 times:
+1, I believe you can do it, up your activity as much as you can though.

[Biolock]

-snip-

I think you're being far too critical of things that don't really matter. The only point you harped on that made sense to me was the fact that he didn't reaveal an abundance of information about his predator's personality. That's fair, he should have gone into some more depth about what makes his character tick. A lot of the time the reason it's not hit on is because the character is under-developed and the writer may not have even considered it, which is a huge problem when writing a story. Whether or not you give a +1 is all you, but I don't know how legitimate some of your reasons are in terms of 'pertaining to the predator app'. Yes gram. and spelling are important, I'm not saying they aren't, but it seems as though that was the reason you despised the application more than anything.

In spite of his grammer and forum activity (which I think should only leverage someone to a minor extent), thi is one of our better applications imo.

[Skycave1]

-1 Can't wear a headband as pred.

[spartanbobby]

-1 Can't wear a headband as pred.

Damn...He's right..

[Boltersam]

In spite of his grammer and forum activity (which I think should only leverage someone to a minor extent), thi is one of our better applications imo.

That's not exactly saying much, is it?

Honestly, I can't go back and +1 this app. I've looked it over time and time again, and I may not have expressed it very clearly, but I believe Spartan is a great player. He has, however, presented me with a shitty app. I harp on spelling and grammar a lot, and I don't intend to change that, but the app needs to be better.