A Living Legend: Lieutenant Billy Spaggot

[cobwebmichaels]

Preface

This is not a typical dossier in that the author and the subject are not one. This dossier was compiled by a USCM Private First Class who has come to love and admire his officer. I first met Lieutenant Billy Spaggot aboard the USCM Almayer in this year of 2186. The USCM does not publicize the feats and exploits of lower-ranking officers to avoid undermining commanders. That said, it's a scholarly imperative to submit to history a record of the life and journey of the living legend: LT Billy Spaggot.

Name: Billy Spaggot
Age: 18
Sex: Male
Height: 6-foot-5
Rank: Lieutenant
Station: USCM Almayer
Years Served: 6 years

Character Profile: During my first deployment with LT Spaggot I was assigned to Alpha Squad, which he led in part on overwatch. Our mission was to board and neutralize a frigate hijacked by the Colonial Liberation Front. Immediately after breaching the hull, our squad leader was gravely wounded. Radio contact with other squads was lost. But Spaggot hailed us from the combat information center and rescued us from rout. Under his direction we regrouped and achieved our objective with few casualties. To anyone under his command it was clear he's a resolute and canny problem solver with a brilliant mind for tactics. Often, staff officers succumb to panic when marines do. But Spaggot has always been unflappable.

When not in combat Spaggot is a quiet and pensive man. He smokes on occasion, though never around others. On leave he enjoys painting and backcountry hiking. Spaggot has never been married, but men who've known him long say he's popular with women. Before joining the USCM, Spaggot was an apprentice to a turf farmer on Tau Ceti. According to his neighbors, Spaggot readily helped with community projects and reconstruction. Spaggot was orphaned at 2 years old.

Career Biography: Billy Spaggot never wanted a violent life. At the age of 12, the Union of Progressive Peoples sent paramilitary raiders to his village on Tau Ceti. There are common but unconfirmed reports Spaggot grabbed a fallen marshal's shotgun and solely killed four enemies, before leading others to safety. After the raid, Spaggot was conscripted into the USCM's short-lived youth corps by late Commander Adam Martin.

After his conscription into the youth corps, Spaggot's rocket rose. At the age of 15, he carried to safety three marines during a campaign against the UPP in the Usra system. At the age of 17, he was the youngest USCM corpsman on record to be promoted to lieutenant. His first command was leading a lunar militia in raiding a Titan pirate base. Men who served on that mission claim Spaggot engaged the pirate leader in CQC and subdued him.

Shortly after turning 18 Spaggot was assigned to the USCM Almayer as staff officer.

Known Relations: No known living relations. LT Spaggot does not discuss his personal relationships, though many lay claim to his friendship.

Close: Off the record interviews with commanders and executive officers suggest that, if he so chooses, LT Spaggot will rise to the highest ranks of the USCM. It's been an honor serving with him.

USCM PFC Flint Jerome

[shyshadow]

Literally who?

[CrimsonAerospace]

>describes themselves as a Legend
>plays Lieutenant with an 18-year old character.

>HAS BEEN SERVING THE USCM SINCE HE WAS TWELVE

Oh, good ol' criticism.

[Ronfali]

LT Spagoot, I salute you.

[James5734]

Thats edgy as FUCK

[xywenx00]

>describes themselves as a Legend
>plays Lieutenant with an 18-year old character.

>HAS BEEN SERVING THE USCM SINCE HE WAS TWELVE

Oh, good ol' criticism.

Have you forgotten that USCM deploys child soldiers?

[xywenx00]

Funny dossier, also interesting name choice. This dossier gave me quite the chuckle, good way of implementing irony. You should've maybe posted it in Acid Goop, I think.

[Keban DaBrowne]

You forgot to mention that the Lieutenant has evolved beyond the mundane human needs of urination and defecation.

[NoahKirchner]

Snowflakiness aside this is beautifully written.

[Karmac]

I'd be honored to server under Lieutenant Benny Spaghetti

[Recounted]

whos man's is this?

[Martzin]

Nice way to write a dossier from the third-perspective of a PFC, but pretty damn cliche. Joining as soon as you turn 18 and having majorly interacted with Marines as a kid? Very snowflakey, but we all start out this way.

[xywenx00]

Nice way to write a dossier from the third-perspective of a PFC, but pretty damn cliche. Joining as soon as you turn 18 and having majorly interacted with Marines as a kid? Very snowflakey, but we all start out this way.

They joined when they were 12. They were a lieutenant when they turned 18. This dossier is clearly meant to be a joke. Atleast I believe so.

[Martzin]

They joined when they were 12. They were a lieutenant when they turned 18. This dossier is clearly meant to be a joke. Atleast I believe so.

Nah, the way it's worded makes me think it's genuine. Dont be too mean though, you were like this once, long ago.

[xywenx00]

Nah, the way it's worded makes me think it's genuine. Dont be too mean though, you were like this once, long ago.

Sorry, playing so much SS13 and CM I don't know whats genuine and what's shitposting.

To the OP, I hope my posts didn't come across as insulting, if your dossier was genuine. If they did, that was not my intention.

[Sneakyr]

Spaggio is a meme now from what I'm seen, and I'm not wholly convinced that someone didn't just write his dossier for him. He's literally bald, full chrome-dome and everything. I've not seen too much of him in-game besides in passing, so I don't know if his skills line up with the typical baldie or not.

[Butterrobber202]

Billy Spaghetti versus Bill Carson

[CrimsonAerospace]

Billy Spaghetti versus Bill Carson

You say that jokingly, but Bill Carson is surprisingly robust, so.

[tracemfl]

I remember Billy Spagooti received, 10 lashings for choking out a female MP, perhaps not a legend but always remembered

[tiredbum]

He's ruining the spaghetti name

[Gabe]

He talks about anime waifus in briefing. He's a living breathing meme and I love 'em.

[Shadow]

Whats with this Hitler Youth wonderchild eighteen year old Captain America stuff?