How I love and hate this game

[Renomaki]

Recently, after having a salty few days with CM 13, I decided to take a break for awhile, refresh myself a tad and do something new... But as I sat at my computer, just idling about without a clue what to do with the rest of my night, I eventually felt like getting something off my mind and into some digital paper. Mainly, how I really feel about SS13 as a whole.

I hate this game, yet also love it... And I hate that.

Colonial marines, as well as Space Station 13 as a whole, can be a very enjoyable game at times. But it can also be a frustrating, bullshit game full of powergamers, RNG crap, people who like to be assholes just because they can and morons who, after watching some Warhammer 40K quotes to make myself feel better, made me realize that most marines are no smarter than the average Ogryn (at least ICly)!

Here is the video in question, tell me if it sounds familiar to you?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jc_GlMQ5XI4

I love CM, I do, but way too often I am disappointed. Maybe I get too competitive, maybe I get a tad more salty than is needed, or maybe I struggle to keep embracing that suck that is constantly shoved in our faces because apparently we are just supposed to be cynical and nihilistic. I try and try to be a good sport, but after getting shit on so much, you start to go from a loyal, dutiful and friendly marine to an embittered, sour asshole that hates everyone because of the stupid shit they do.

I had days that gone so bad that I even asked myself why I still keep playing this? More than once, I thought about finally putting it down and moving on, yet despite having plenty of other material to work with, I just keep dragging myself back in. Even when I take BREAKS, sometimes I end up sneaking a round in when I said I wouldn't. Why do I keep coming back? Why am I perfectly willing to even sit around for 3-4 HOURS waiting for a new round to start when I could just do something else with my time?

Maybe it is because this game is an easy solution to boredom, a go-to game that is guaranteed to keep me occupied for hours on end, full of replay value despite being so repetitive. Such a thing is useful to a low-income family who can't afford to spend frivolous amounts of money on new games, let alone old ones.

Maybe it is because of my status on the server, being on a number of whitelists and feeling obligated to play simply to remain in such hard-earned positions. My predator whitelist took me a long time to get, and no doubt I am not going to throw it away after all I gone through. Sure, Predator isn't THAT good... But I still had a few good times here and there and I like having that option still..

Or maybe it is simply because this is the ONE place where I feel like one of the cool kids. Ever since TF2, I always wanted to be like those guys on youtube, the ones that people see on the server and suddenly SWARM him out of adoration, paying attention to him when he talks and passively begging to be witnessed. It was because of that shit that, in any game I play, I always give it my best shot, wanting to one day be a respected player of a community to the point of frustration... But I never was, at least until Colonial Marines. There is a certain specialness to being one of the cool kids, the kinda guy that has a small gaggle of fans and people who look up to me, when a long time ago I was one of them and looked up to people like Xur, who inspired me to be who I am now... That too, could be the reason why I can't abandon the community entirely.

Lets be honest, Colonial Marines can be really fucky sometimes, from its obsession with being unblanced for the sake of giving the marines a 'challenge' that often doesn't turn out at all like how Apop describes it, to its community and it's constant hypocrisy (that I no doubt am a part of), this game is heavily flawed and I don't blame people for getting pissy about it and wanting things to be different, let alone finding greener pastures.

I hate this game sometimes.. And yet I love it still. A true love/hate relationship, if you will. It both sucks up my time that could be spent doing better things or playing better games, yet also is a game I look forward to at the end of a workday. Maybe I got a problem...

I'll never really understand it. Guess I'm just weird like that.

[Hulkamania]

I don't think there's any reason to play the game other than interacting with a group of people you enjoy being around. I mean mechanically it's certainly unique, it has a lot of depth to it. But it's an excuse to turn off your normal people brain and assume the role of JOHNNY BALDERSON. Video games are an escape mechanism, and due to the reasons you mentioned (being free, taking up huge amounts of time, having a lot of replayability) CM is a real easy one to get hooked on. Anything you enjoy in excess, and in particular anything you can use to forget your worries, has the potential to be addicting. It's a solid reason why people should take breaks occasionally so they don't forget that they don't need to just hop on the game as soon as they can.

Also anything you feel passionately about will frustrate you if you aren't getting the expected results out of it, sounds like you want a very specific experience that just hasn't been getting delivered on lately. Losing your reputation is something that is a worthy fear, but take your break and if you truly feel the urge to come back, you always can.

I hope you find whatever you're looking for though!

[Nyeshivuu]

An apt way of describing this game is like when you fart and it smells so good, but it is literally shit particles and other smelly gases, yet you come back for more because of the smell.

[Heckenshutze]

I play CM mostly because this is the closest thing to fighting aliens as a ultimate badass marine I'll get. Ever.

[solidfury7]

I'm here for a few reasons,

The setting and the stories we carve out of it

The roleplay

And the people I roleplay with and interact with.

It makes me sad some days when I play all day and have no real fulfilling roleplay days, or I don't see one of the few people I look forward to roleplaying with.