Dekna Vor'mekta (Eye Stalker)

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ShattForte
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Dekna Vor'mekta (Eye Stalker)

Post by ShattForte » 24 Oct 2017, 22:12

Byond ID: ShattForte

Marine Name (so we know who you are; if you play alien mostly, state that here): David 'Boss' Buehlmann

Name of the character you want whitelisted (The name your predator will use. This must match your in-game predator name): Dekna Vor'mekta

Are you familiar with the Predator Code Of Honor? Very familiar.

Character background (An ADEQUATE description and story of your predators background):
► Show Spoiler
How do you intend to play your predator (as in, describe HOW you will act/play your predator)?
► Show Spoiler
Why should we whitelist you? I'm an extremely experienced roleplayer, not just in BYOND but in real life as well with my many years of D&D. I'm well spoken, and am confident I can provide adequate roleplay as a Predator.

Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason (we will check, and lies may result in immediate denial)? I have never been banned.

Are you currently banned from any other servers and if so, why? No, I am not.

Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or disobey the Predator Code of Honor? Yes, I understand and accept.
Last edited by ShattForte on 24 Oct 2017, 22:31, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Dekna Vor'mekta (Eye Stalker)

Post by BobaFett07 » 24 Oct 2017, 22:14

-1, first post, barely meets the requirements, never seen you in game, and the worst of all your background is just one paragraph

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Re: Dekna Vor'mekta (Eye Stalker)

Post by Karmac » 24 Oct 2017, 22:16

Consider looking at an accepted application before posting your own, it also helps to have an actual presence in the community so people know who they're giving this role to. -1
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ShattForte
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Re: Dekna Vor'mekta (Eye Stalker)

Post by ShattForte » 24 Oct 2017, 22:17

The requirements say nothing about amount of posts, only that my account needs to be a month old. I've been on practically everyday for more than a month, so apologies if you've never seen me. As far as my background, your criticism of it being a single paragraph is noted, although it would be nice if you could comment on it more than that.

EDIT: Also, I have zero interest in posting around on a forum to acquire internet cred.

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Re: Dekna Vor'mekta (Eye Stalker)

Post by Ghostdex » 24 Oct 2017, 22:28

I can't say much more about this, I haven't seen you at all and i'm faily active plus your first post being a pred app really is not good, no matter the quality. -1 from me.

Forum post count isn't about having "internet cred" it is about being known in the community. The community needs to know you oocly to give you complete honest feedback on your person, or at least that how I view it. Also, it shows your active.
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Re: Dekna Vor'mekta (Eye Stalker)

Post by Shyguychizzy » 24 Oct 2017, 22:31

I do like how is quite more interested in human eyeball trophies rather just skulls though as per usual trophies tend to be of the hunt's kill remains. Unfortunately, with current system can't actually as you say "Take the eyes out of the human's sockets" though intent is quite interesting approach in this matter. The background is quite just enough though felt a bit blandish though worded quite detailed I like. How you play eh, now a days it seems stealth as usual nothing new besides taking human eyes though from a hunting perspective it feels a bit just targeting humans mainly. We aren't a balancing factor however the superior team we do intend to hunt preferably, though from a hunter's perspective possible might impact round just hunting humans for me is a bit iffy. Additionally, I see there already is a Stalker Clan unsure if you were aware or have the permissions for clan name. http://cm-ss13.com/viewtop ... 125&t=6579

Enough of me speaking, however though may seem severe of a comment I shall only be saying what I see. I won't be giving negative one till perhaps later and perhaps your response, it may persuade me however your activity abroad Forums and frankly I don't even know who you are as CKey nor as a Player. Advise getting yer activity ingame and community wise whether it be just commenting or making posts. Generally, being this is your first post its highly frowned upon. I give a little chance however if can persuade and increase activity.
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Re: Dekna Vor'mekta (Eye Stalker)

Post by ShattForte » 24 Oct 2017, 22:36

I've edited my original post and added some extra detail to my character's story, I hope you all find it satisfactory. I did scour the forums to see if the clan name had already been taken, but apparently I must have missed it. The Predator language isn't very vast so it was bound to happen. I'll be sure to message them and get the OK for my clan name.

If the post that detailed the requirements had said anything about post history I would have been dissuaded from posting an application at all, because I really don't have any interest in posting in the forums. I just play the game. I roleplay with a lot of people, so I'm sorry if we haven't roleplayed together yet and you're unsure of who I am. I mostly play Medic, Doctor and Cargo but recently I've been branching out into other areas. Occasionally alien. I do tend to play during lowpop hours, so that might have something to do with it if you don't know who I am.

I'm just lookin' for a chance here. I'll take any criticism you guys have to heart and try to do better in two months time if denied. Thank you all for taking a look.

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Re: Dekna Vor'mekta (Eye Stalker)

Post by northcote4 » 26 Oct 2017, 03:46

I’ll start out by saying I don't feel this application is quite up to par, and I’ll be giving it a -1.
However I don’t mean to do so out of malice, so I’ll try to be as constructive as I can. This may get to be a bulky post.

The first thing I’ll address is who you are. I can’t say I’ve ever seen you in-game or out. Ordinarily this isn’t an issue, as after all we’re not omnipresent and I’m willing to take your word for it that you’ve been fairly active in-game. There’s no reason to doubt that. But there’s a problem when no one else seems to have, either. Whitelisted fates are entrusted with both power and responsibility. Be it a CO or a Predator, you have the power to completely derail the round -intentionally or not-, so in being a name that people recognise, they can have some measure of trust and faith in you. If people don’t know who you are, you’re basically asking them to take a potentially dangerous leap of faith.
ShattForte wrote:
24 Oct 2017, 22:17
The requirements say nothing about amount of posts, only that my account needs to be a month old.
You are right about this. While I can’t seem to find it at the moment, in the past the necessity of forum activity was more clearly written. Specifically that making an application as your first forum post was grounds for automatic denial. While I can’t find it, so perhaps that’s changed, forum activity still plays an important part. It denotes out of game presence. A willingness to give something back to the community beyond a hail of bullets or acid spit. Traditionally I’ve always been one for leniency in regard to forum posts, as it’s something I completely understand. But it necessitates the need for something to make up for it, be that the rest of the application or an incredibly well-known in-game persona. It’s not about forum cred so much as it is about ensuring the people that are accepted are actually worth the gamble.

Moving into the story- it has potential. I understand what you’re writing and what you’re trying to convey. But the problem is it’s just not quite enough. It only tells us the basics of Dekna. It describes him, but it doesn’t really tell us who he is, if that makes sense. All we can really gather is that he was a not-quite-top fighter, is somewhat prideful and wants to find a worthwhile human to fight. That’s really not a whole lot to go on, and especially isn’t something that would distinguish him from any other John Doe predator, y’know? What he does have going for him is the fascination with eyeballs. That’s unique. That’s something I’ve never seen before. But it’s only mentioned the one time in the background (though you go into a bit more detail in the ‘How you intent to play’ section).
Like Karmac suggested, taking a look at the other accepted applications is often a great way to go. Many of the characters have strengths, flaws, desires and weaknesses. It breathes life into the character, which at the end of the day is what we all want in a roleplaying position.

Your intended playstyle is fairly dandy, I don’t have terribly much to say there, aside from our unfortunate inability to get eyeballs as an item.

But yeah. Putting it into D&D perspective, for example, is like giving a guy access to an extra powerful character on the condition that he not make an ass of himself and abuse it. When you don’t really know much about the person or the character they plan to play, it’s hard to make that call.

So yeah. Hopefully I said at least one thing slightly helpful. I’m certainly not the greatest roleplayer of all time and my thoughts tend to meander, so maybe I was just blowing smoke out my ass for the whole time. The gist of it is: Be someone people recognise. Be someone people are willing to trust potentially round-derailing power to.
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Re: Dekna Vor'mekta (Eye Stalker)

Post by ShattForte » 26 Oct 2017, 16:24

Hey man, thank you for your well constructed response. As far as people not knowing me, it's probably attributed to the fact that I play mostly support roles. I'm gonna start moving into command to make a name for myself.

As far as Dekna goes, your right. He isn't as fleshed out as he could be. I need to work more on his weaknesses, and how he thinks and what brought him to it, as well as his niche for human eyes. Can't get it as an item sure, but it's all in the roleplay. I'm at work right now so I can't give a detailed response, so when I get home I'll make sure to hit on all your points. Again thank you so much for your time.

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Re: Dekna Vor'mekta (Eye Stalker)

Post by mizolo » 26 Oct 2017, 18:40

I've actually seen you in game, you have some good RP to be very honest with you. So a +1 for my tally for that. +1 total

Since you mainly play support roles you are a very crucial part of the USCM, you can't have a force without a means to transport, care, and ammo. +1 ... total +2

HOWEVER, since you mainly play support roles, I fail to see how you would be a good COMBAT role. -1 ... total +1

I don't really deduct points for command, since pred is a combat and stealth role, command is good for trying to get RP, but you already have that. +-0 ... total +1

I DO UNDERSTAND your reasoning that there is no "requirement" for posts and things like that, but I understand why people don't like someone who isn't "active" or what THEY consider to be "part" of the community, so I AM deducting points, but due to your explanation, i'll half it. -0.5 ... total +0.5



Verdict from me:

+0.5 ... Is acceptable

Even if this does not get accepted, I still think you should keep trying and maybe in 1-1.5 months you should try for CO when you get command experience and even synthetic.

Try to post on things, and include your true thoughts, as well as make entire threads.

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If I were to change anything, make a more lengthy story-line, a more ... interesting weakness, and have more say and talk in the community.

Summary:
Be more active in community
Make an ... "interesting" weakness
Maybe do command or SL or Spec to get people to notice you more
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Re: Dekna Vor'mekta (Eye Stalker)

Post by ShattForte » 27 Oct 2017, 00:54

Hey! Someone who knows me. Glad we got to RP together. Thanks for your review of my application, I'll take everything you have to say at heart.

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Re: Dekna Vor'mekta (Eye Stalker)

Post by mizolo » 27 Oct 2017, 10:20

ShattForte wrote:
27 Oct 2017, 00:54
Hey! Someone who knows me. Glad we got to RP together. Thanks for your review of my application, I'll take everything you have to say at heart.
No problem dude, just be more active.
For me it doesn't matter AS MUCH if you don't post in forums, but to other people this is "kind of" a must, even if it's not specifically stated.
To be honest, i'm also kind of one of those people, but due to my good RP experience with you, and your explanation, I gave it what I gave it.

o7
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Re: Dekna Vor'mekta (Eye Stalker)

Post by emeraldmoonx » 27 Oct 2017, 15:39

Your backstory, in my opinion is lacking. I like how you write, you're good at it, but you need to give more story. Right now all it says is you like hunting humans and that you have your own ship. So when you play on CM, you're a young blood? You'll never have killed a xenomorph before? Not a good idea, I think you should be bloodied before you attempt to go against a hive + a shitton of humans.

Your forum activity is not an issue to me, as I had almost no activity myself when I applied for mod. I, however, like your playstyle, collecting eyes only and specifically wanting to hunt humans is cool. Definitely, makes it interesting and I'd love to see you collect eyeballs lol.

I'll stay neutral for now until I can get more details on your background and where you plan to be and your experience when you get to the colony.
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Re: Dekna Vor'mekta (Eye Stalker)

Post by ShattForte » 27 Oct 2017, 17:17

Thank you man! Dekna is blooded as his mask is marked, but yes the back story is for sure going to get a big upgrade when I have time off work after the weekend, as that's most people's main issue. Look forward to seeing Dekna again after awhile if it doesn't get accepted! Even if it does get accepted I'll still be revamping his story, because I feel as interesting as a character as he is in my head, he really could use the story to back it up.

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Re: Dekna Vor'mekta (Eye Stalker)

Post by emeraldmoonx » 27 Oct 2017, 17:21

ShattForte wrote:
27 Oct 2017, 17:17
Thank you man! Dekna is blooded as his mask is marked, but yes the back story is for sure going to get a big upgrade when I have time off work after the weekend, as that's most people's main issue. Look forward to seeing Dekna again after awhile if it doesn't get accepted! Even if it does get accepted I'll still be revamping his story, because I feel as interesting as a character as he is in my head, he really could use the story to back it up.
Ah, didn't read the part on marking his mask, very good. I'll let you know how my rating changes based on your story.
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Re: Dekna Vor'mekta (Eye Stalker)

Post by shyshadow » 27 Oct 2017, 17:56

1st post, ooof. Man don't look too great already. But basically everything North said. There's not much I can expand upon myself, considering they did a pretty good job. While I think you have a lot of potential, I don't think you're ready just yet. The backstory is extremely short, even for a brief backstory. There's little to no actual personality in your backstory for your predator. I get being obsessed with eyeballs is sort-of a personality trait, but I want to know what drives your character. What do they fear? Why do they do what they do? Being proud? All predators should be proud of their trophies. But what else is there?
Your hunting style is, meh. It's standard, but that's not a "bad" thing. It's just. I believe you've got to have a exceptional backstory to back up being a standard pred. And sadly I don't believe your backstory is exceptional enough to support my ideal. But I believe genuinely you can and will become a great predator. Just put a lot more work into the backstory and think of a more noticeable hunting style.

Anyway, after a while of playing on the server. You'll probably gain a reputation, as long as you aren't just another drop of water in an ocean. Sorry but, -1.
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Re: Dekna Vor'mekta (Eye Stalker)

Post by ShattForte » 27 Oct 2017, 23:29

No reason to apologize, Skyshadow. I take any bit of criticism a-ok. Your input is valid even if there isn't much to add, it just shows me more people care. Thanks for giving me your time bud!

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Re: Dekna Vor'mekta (Eye Stalker)

Post by Emeraldblood » 28 Oct 2017, 22:05

While posts are not required to get accepted, they help balance the scale so you can get accepted. Predator is a high RP role and if no one knows who you are, no one is going to trust you. I'm going to say -1 for now, as your application isn't the best I've seen and I don't know how you play or who you are. That said, you don't seem like a bad player so I suggest you get around on the forums and just interact with some people in posts and give a new predator app next time.
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Re: Dekna Vor'mekta (Eye Stalker)

Post by ShattForte » 02 Nov 2017, 21:01

Thanks for the response, I'm really glad lots of people are responding and showing they care.

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Re: Dekna Vor'mekta (Eye Stalker)

Post by Feweh » 03 Nov 2017, 14:18

Denied.

First post was a predator app.

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