Baldie Thread: Worst Examples

[BiohazardZERO]

Alright, this probably has been done before, but through my half-year doing SS13, and roughly 3 of those months on CM, I've seen my fair share of cringe inducing baldie RP, and general annoyance. Here are my stories.

Medical:

- As CMO, you get your fair share of people who think being in a medical role is easy. One time which was pretty memorable for me, was when I had a complete baldie staff. Not only did they not know anything, when taught, they proceeded to OD most of our patients, and stab many eyes out. Very frustrating round for me.

- Combat Medics who try to carry an armory in their backpacks. As RO, I once had to argue with a baldie Medic, as he was asking for more AP rounds, rather than putting medical equipment. His reply, "thanks lol, im going to report you to the gods" Never saw him again.

Command:

Generally incompetent SOs, who don't give orders or coordinate with supply and XO/COs. Lots of salt abound. There was one CO who made me doubt the white list, as his first post was, "Alright marines we are going to be moving to fight large numbers of xenomorphs so get ready and cover your mouths". It made the entirety of Charlie want to eat themselves.

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE BALDIES?!

[HKO20006]

All XO's announcements
PUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSH
YOU ARE NOT PUSHING HARD ENOUGH
YOU HAVE TO FEEL THE PUSH IN YOUR HEART

The routine OB FF by bald SOs.
The routine SL leading lone squad into the hive and have their asses handed.

[Heckenshutze]

Classic AP burstfire to the head

[CaptainYankee]

All XO's announcements
PUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSH
YOU ARE NOT PUSHING HARD ENOUGH
YOU HAVE TO FEEL THE PUSH IN YOUR HEART

The routine OB FF by bald SOs.
The routine SL leading lone squad into the hive and have their asses handed.

I think I know which XO you are talking about.

► Show Spoiler

That round was awful until an Admiral showed to BE the XO.

[Weaselburg]

Anytime I join a round

[JennerH]

Baldie engineer hoarded all the materials so Ritona couldn't build the FOB, me as SL try to reason with him, when that doesn't work I try to take the metal out of his hand, he runs forward, turns around and fires a burst into me.

Sigma Orsan turned his smartgun IFF off and destroyed the guy.

[BiohazardZERO]

I think I know which XO you are talking about.

► Show Spoiler

That round was awful until an Admiral showed to BE the XO.

Jesus Christ. There should be at least an hour requirement for gameplay to play as XO or SOs.

[Heckenshutze]

Jesus Christ. There should be at least an hour requirement for gameplay to play as XO or SOs.

To be honest, he RPed an amazing marine, but as PFC would had fit better than the fucking Executive Commander.

[BiohazardZERO]

To be honest, he RPed an amazing marine, but as PFC would had fit better than the fucking Executive Commander.

Not everyone is a good officer. Honestly, we need more decent grunts, than SOs and XOs, because SOs and XOs don't get dragged off, only to return as a Elite Crusher.

[ColdSuit]

As SL, I've had a lot of marines run forward with their "super tacticool anti-sonofabitch" rifles, only to be captured (and attachment-heavy weapons melted of course), only to bitch at us to rescue them. I tell my men not to rescue the, sure enough the cycle repeats.

[ColonelCorazon]

One time I accidentally naded the Alamo about halfway through the round. To make up for my baldie move I gave a beautiful performance in the brig to get spared from execution. I think Kennel had to deal with that one haha

[ValGarilovich]

I once had to deal with a super bald SO as an MP,
He wandered the hallways with a firesuit and M41 and kept asking me where the CiC was

Despite me showing him twice where to go he keeps showing up downstairs... And then... He shoots at MTs

By this point I had completely lost my cool with him and the rest is history

[Mvp777]

I feel spiritual pain whenever i see a Mahreen running around without his armor just so he can SANIC THE HEDHOG.

[Rio]

Oh boy, where to start?

PFCs:
Burstfire on all the time
Aiming for the head (psst it doesn't do extra damage to xenos)
Wandering off to get killed
One-shotting pounced marines with a shotgun
Not using the flamer to clear sticky resin

Engineers:
Putting a line of barricades one square ahead of the other

Smartgunners:
Being the pointman when there are marines with shotguns in the squad

Medics:
Doubling up on patients (often leading to ODs)
Using roller beds as nothing but patient immobilizers

Specialists:
Thinking the B18 armor makes you a one-person army (only to end up getting captured because you thought you could Rambo in heavy armor)

Squad Leaders:
Not engaging with our squad and thinking they will follow you just because
Charging the squad headfirst into the hive, especially with the queen stomping around

Doctors:
Too many incidents to pinpoint (Medbay baldness is such a meme now I beg for the autodoc)

Pilot Officers:
Not making regular runs
Running around outside the dropship

Staff Officers:
Sending OBs without confirming

Executive/Commanding Officer:
Ordering all squads to mass in on an attack (and thus leaving the FOB/LZ and rear undefended)
Intruding on squad channels SOs are already covering (thus rendering said SO useless and creating confusion for the marines groundside)

[Crab_Spider]

When cloning was a thing.

Doctors sometimes would simply get you killed because they didn't know how to do surgery and so they'd cloned you. It turned out cloning was not faster or reliable.

[HKO20006]

Putting a line of barricades one square ahead of the other <- One layer of metal cade is pretty weak so Engie like to have two layers if they have the metal, just marines ain't suppose to stand in between though.

[Cry of Wolves]

Taking the spec's weapons and gear despite the spec being revivable or just in crit.

Even better, they get killed because they tried to use thw spec weapon on the front lines.

Even greater, the weapon gets melted because the dumbass baldy died trying to use the weapon against a drone.

[4thsurviver]

I haven't done it in a while but when I play MP I like to look for new players and try to separate the boots from the baldies. Anyone that follows my advice and listens to me as I try to get them fed, clothed, and trained is a boot while anyone that stumbles around wordlessly and picks up a wrench or shotgun and hits me in the face is a baldie.

[Mvp777]

When your aSl yells "attack tfort" literally seconds after Overwatch orders us to stay behind the river.

by the end of the round every single person in our squad was dead.

[Ttly]

The spec that didn't even know how to get spec gear and once he lands just smack himself with a bayorifle.

He must've been ghosted and put into cryo after that since by the end of the round a new spec was in.

[Sambalu]

the PFCs that run infront of b18 specs during a push. or the ones that pick up dead crushers, and go minesweeping with their corpses.

But true baldness can be observed when four medics tend to an injured marine at the same time. pre QC-change, you'd be dead within seconds

[Mvp777]

the PFCs that run infront of b18 specs during a push. or the ones that pick up dead crushers, and go minesweeping with their corpses.

But true baldness can be observed when four medics tend to an injured marine at the same time. pre QC-change, you'd be dead within seconds

That's something i had to learn painfully, DO NOT GIVE PILLS TO ANY PATIENT BEING TREATED BY ANOTHER MEDIC. I've had my shameful share of ODing someone on quickclot before.

Its best to coordinate your actions like "I'll patch up you give pills".

[Solarmare]

I've seen one private slug a Pyro twice into his blue fire. They did not survive.

[Omicega]

I remember seeing a new medic back in September or so thinking that Tramadol stacked with itself - that is, that you could kill more pain with more Tramadol. He managed to give someone a 100u+ OD before I scanned his patient and noticed what was happening.

[ArrancarX5]

I remember seeing a new medic back in September or so thinking that Tramadol stacked with itself - that is, that you could kill more pain with more Tramadol. He managed to give someone a 100u+ OD before I scanned his patient and noticed what was happening.

Oof, that sounds rough, but yeah, I had one round as a charlie squad marine [cause I didn't get Squad specialist that round], and well...I swear to god I got the baldest of the bald for squad leaders, not only did he disobey overwatch orders, who by marine law are a higher rank ICly, but they actively forced the rest of us to push to our doom at lambda. I'dve taken a battlefield execution over obeying that guy's orders again.