Stories and stuff.

[Weaselburg]

This is a thread for your weird/cool/funny/whatever SS13 stories. Post what you want but nothing erotic/erotic related. LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

[Weaselburg]

REMEMBER - ALL SS13 MOMENTS CAN GO HERE

[Gnorse]

well, there was this one round as a sniper specialist using buckshot shotgun. I Was in a maint-tunnel (1 tile wide) with a bunch of benos. A sentinel came through, I shot by reflex and crit it. A runner came to drag it, Crit it as well. The cycle continued until I ended up with 5+ Xenos lying in crit on the floor. I kept laughing my ass off for a solid 5 minutes before I finished them off.

[Avalanchee]

When i saw Kain Woodsman's haircut for the first time i started laughing so hard that my roommates had to breach into my room to found out what happened

[JennerH]

I showered with Phillip Murray when we missed first drop, cool guy

[DriedMilk]

I showered with Phillip Murray when we missed first drop, cool guy

what

[Avalanchee]

I showered with Phillip Murray when we missed first drop, cool guy

not the best shower i ever had, but it was coool

[JennerH]

Best shower i ever had.

Don't make it weird

[Avalanchee]

Don't make it weird

..l-lewd

[JennerH]

..l-lewd

I'm telling Anna.

[Avalanchee]

I'm telling Anna.

Yuo can't do that,

I told you that i am not alowed to do lewd things with other girls and then we deployed.

[JennerH]

Yuo can't do that,

I told you that i am not alowed to do lewd things with other girls and then we deployed.

Lying is a sin Phillip

[Avalanchee]

Lying is a sin Phillip

But i am not lying

[JennerH]

But i am not lying

That's what a sinner would say

[Avalanchee]

That's what a sinner would say

I am not a sinner,
you are trying to frame me here and you are using your innocent look to do so.

[JennerH]

I am not a sinner,
you are trying to frame me here and you are using your innocent look to do so.

Sinnerrr

[Avalanchee]

Sinnerrr

Stinky redhead, meet me at the showers. We will talk about it

[crono23]

This thread appears to be getting a bit off topic, and since it's SS13 stories in general, allow me to share two from the infamous Hippie Station.

The first one was when I decided to go security and see what happened. As it turned out, I shared the shift with 2 other people. Almost immediately we shared a few words along the lines of "wanna go do justice?" "hell fucking yeah", and ran off to go full shitcurity on any troublemakers. Sadly I can't remember too much of our adventures, but the highlights included:

Our good friend, the clown, who became an honorary security officer. Sadly we eventually found him dead in a maintenance vent

The numerous times we slipped on the clean spots left by the janitor. This pissed us off a bit, so when we finally found the janitor, we stunned him to the ground and popped a tear gas grenade on his stunned body before running off.

Sadly our adventures came to an end why a bomb went off in botany, gibbing me. My friends got out mostly unscathed, but beyond that there wasn't much interesting for the rest of the round.

The second was early in a round when I tried setting up the singulo as an engineer. Everything went fine at first, but when I turned on the particle accelerator, my internet died. When I finally managed to reconnect, it was too late. The singulo swallowed me within seconds and began moving around, sucking up the station. This was bad enough already, but it came close enough to the supermatter to supercharge it. Me and the increasing number of ghosts watched amused as it slowly destroyed the station and brought a premature end to the round.

[AmazinglyAmazing]

Well, might as well put a long-ish story in here that took place on LV.

It was mid-round, and neither side was gaining ground at the caves. I was back at Hydro with 3 other marines from Bravo defending the medics and engineers there tending to wounded and getting supplies together to try and fortify T-Fort. My motion tracker went off, showing that something was stalking in the jungle east of us- so I investigated with my machete and my newly gained robotic arm.

Ends up that it was a Predator. As I began to go through the vines, I get shoved to the ground and dragged off further east, where I'm quickly handcuffed and teleported away. Now aboard the Predator Ship, I panic, asking who she was and where I was. Ignoring me, I'm thrown into a cell, where I'm quickly told to change out of my marine armor and into some gladiator armor.

Minutes pass by and she returns with one of the Bravo marines who had chased after me. He's pissed, trying as hard as he can to escape. Eventually, he calms down and changes into the armor. The Predator tells us in a confusing combination of letters and numbers to follow her, which we both do. We're led to a large room, and told to go to different sides. She pulls out two swords, handing each of us one, before stepping back. It takes us a moment of speaking to each other and her yelling at us for us to realize she wants us to fight to the death, but we at first refuse. Finally, we agree to go for only chest shots, and charge at each other.

My first goddamn swing put the poor bastard into crit. He screamed as several bones in his chest snapped, and blood was everywhere. Terrified and sympathetic, I quickly finished him off to end his suffering. After receiving a small applause from her, the Predator says how I was 'quick' and 'merciless' before throwing me back into my cell and dragging his body off. I could hear her taking him apart from where I was, piece by piece, and all I did was sit in the metal bed of my cell and stare a the ceiling until she returned. This confused her, but she told be t get up and followed, and I did. Leading me to a teleporter, we teleported just east of LZ-1, where she gave me the head of the marine I defeated before cloaking and running off. I stumbled into LZ-1 covered in blood, still in my gladiator suit, carrying a head.

I returned to the Almayer, where I grabbed a helmet from prep and went to the upper-level of the ship to the Garden, where I slowly set down both the head and helmet in front of the Slab. That's when something in my head clicked- I should of felt thankful, honorable even. Several marines had died to the Predator, yet this one had given me a second chance, and also let me show my strength. Regardless, I had killed a fellow marine, and felt like I still needed to be punished, walking into CIC to talk to the Commander. In the end, the Commander decided rather than punishing me, to have me return planetside with him and the Synth to talk to the Predators, despite the risks. We head to the southern part of the Nexus, where three Predators are waiting. While the Commander talks to two of them, who at times mock him, I stare at the third one, who I immediately recognized as my captor from earlier. Despite the Synth focusing on translating the other two speaking, I was able to talk to her for the most part, and thanked her for giving me a second chance.

Eventually, they asked the Commander to show his strength by killing a few lizards, before leaving. I continued to speak to her, but eventually I wished her luck with her hunt and she told me that we'd all meet again some day. She handed me the bloodied sword I had used to kill the marine from earlier, her final words being: "Now go die with honor!", before cloaking and running off.

I charged into the caves across the river, taking down four Xenos with that very sword before being scratched to near death and hugged. I would die to my wounds.

Holy crap that was long...

[Weaselburg]

Fucking DELANY! AVALACNHEE! DONT MAKE ME SPACE YOU BOTH!

[Weaselburg]

Well, might as well put a long-ish story in here that took place on LV.

It was mid-round, and neither side was gaining ground at the caves. I was back at Hydro with 3 other marines from Bravo defending the medics and engineers there tending to wounded and getting supplies together to try and fortify T-Fort. My motion tracker went off, showing that something was stalking in the jungle east of us- so I investigated with my machete and my newly gained robotic arm.

Ends up that it was a Predator. As I began to go through the vines, I get shoved to the ground and dragged off further east, where I'm quickly handcuffed and teleported away. Now aboard the Predator Ship, I panic, asking who she was and where I was. Ignoring me, I'm thrown into a cell, where I'm quickly told to change out of my marine armor and into some gladiator armor.

Minutes pass by and she returns with one of the Bravo marines who had chased after me. He's pissed, trying as hard as he can to escape. Eventually, he calms down and changes into the armor. The Predator tells us in a confusing combination of letters and numbers to follow her, which we both do. We're led to a large room, and told to go to different sides. She pulls out two swords, handing each of us one, before stepping back. It takes us a moment of speaking to each other and her yelling at us for us to realize she wants us to fight to the death, but we at first refuse. Finally, we agree to go for only chest shots, and charge at each other.

My first goddamn swing put the poor bastard into crit. He screamed as several bones in his chest snapped, and blood was everywhere. Terrified and sympathetic, I quickly finished him off to end his suffering. After receiving a small applause from her, the Predator says how I was 'quick' and 'merciless' before throwing me back into my cell and dragging his body off. I could hear her taking him apart from where I was, piece by piece, and all I did was sit in the metal bed of my cell and stare a the ceiling until she returned. This confused her, but she told be t get up and followed, and I did. Leading me to a teleporter, we teleported just east of LZ-1, where she gave me the head of the marine I defeated before cloaking and running off. I stumbled into LZ-1 covered in blood, still in my gladiator suit, carrying a head.

I returned to the Almayer, where I grabbed a helmet from prep and went to the upper-level of the ship to the Garden, where I slowly set down both the head and helmet in front of the Slab. That's when something in my head clicked- I should of felt thankful, honorable even. Several marines had died to the Predator, yet this one had given me a second chance, and also let me show my strength. Regardless, I had killed a fellow marine, and felt like I still needed to be punished, walking into CIC to talk to the Commander. In the end, the Commander decided rather than punishing me, to have me return planetside with him and the Synth to talk to the Predators, despite the risks. We head to the southern part of the Nexus, where three Predators are waiting. While the Commander talks to two of them, who at times mock him, I stare at the third one, who I immediately recognized as my captor from earlier. Despite the Synth focusing on translating the other two speaking, I was able to talk to her for the most part, and thanked her for giving me a second chance.

Eventually, they asked the Commander to show his strength by killing a few lizards, before leaving. I continued to speak to her, but eventually I wished her luck with her hunt and she told me that we'd all meet again some day. She handed me the bloodied sword I had used to kill the marine from earlier, her final words being: "Now go die with honor!", before cloaking and running off.

I charged into the caves across the river, taking down four Xenos with that very sword before being scratched to near death and hugged. I would die to my wounds.

Holy crap that was long...

N I C E