What is the Admeme Inquisition?

[Royal Griffon]

This is when the royal admemes have decided to purge the server of most or all life using a very funny way of doing it. Usually by deathsquad or some almost impossible force. I for example survived an admeme inquisition when AI hunters came and attacked me and 4 others who were on the ground stuck and decided, "yeah, the fax machine that basically tells the possibly bored admemes we are here and need help on the prison station is totally a good idea, it's not like we'll get nuked or-why is there 5 hunters all of the sudden running towards us?"

[apophis775]

Nobody expects the Admeme inquisition!

[WinterClould]

Chen Westinton: Trouble at LZ.

Admiral Bill Carson: Oh no - what kind of trouble?

Chen Westinton: One on't Dropships gone owt askew on Landin Pad.

Admiral Bill Carson: Pardon?

Chen Westinton: One on't Dropships gone owt askew on Landin Pad.

Admiral Bill Carson: I don't understand what you're saying.

Chen Westinton: (slightly irritated and with exaggeratedly clear accent) One of the DROPSHIPS has gone out askew on the LANDING PAD.

Admiral Bill Carson: Well what on earth does that mean?

Chen Westinton: *I* don't know - Commander Mueller just told me to come in here and say that there was trouble at the LZ, that's all - I didn't expect a kind of Badmin Inquisition. (JARRING CHORD)

(The door flies open and Badmin Freemysoul of Britain enters, flanked by two other badmins. Badmin Sir Lordington of Spain has a fancy mustache and the word pewpew wrote on his shirt sleve. Junior Badmin Cry of Wolves is just dressed in a fur suit)

Freemysoul: NOBODY expects the Badmin Inquisition! Our chief weapon is fear...fear and Abombs...Abombs and fear.... Our two weapons are Abombs and fear...and ruthless inefficiency.... Our *three* weapons are Abombs, fear, and ruthless inefficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to Apop.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as abombings, fear.... I'll come in again.

(Exit and exeunt)

Chen Westinton: I didn't expect a kind of Badmin Inquisition.

(JARRING CHORD)

(The admins burst in)

Freemysoul: NOBODY expects the Badmin Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: abombs, fear, ruthless inefficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to Apop, and mass spaming death squads - Oh damn! (To Badmin Cry of Wolves) I can't say it - you'll have to say it.

Cry of Wolves: What?

Freemysoul: You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief weapons are ...'

Cry of Wolves: (rather horrified) I couldn't do that...

(Freemysoul bundles the admins outside again)

Chen Westinton: I didn't expect a kind of Badmin Inquisition.

(JARRING CHORD)

(The admins enter)

Cry of Wolves: Er.... Nobody...um....

Freemysoul: Expects...

Cry of Wolves: Expects... Nobody expects the...um...the Badmin...um...

Freemysoul: Inquisition.

Cry of Wolves: I know, I know! Nobody expects the Badmin Inquisition. In fact, those who do expect -

Freemysoul: Our chief weapons are...

Cry of Wolves: Our chief weapons are...um...er...

Freemysoul: Death Squads...

Cry of Wolves: Death Squads and --

Freemysoul: Okay, stop. Stop. Stop there - stop there. Stop. Phew! Ah! ...our chief weapons are Death Squads...blah blah blah. Badmin, read the charges.

Sir Lordington: You are hereby charged that you did on diverse dates commit heresy against the great and powerful Apophis. 'My old man said follow the...'

Cry of Wolves: That's enough. (To Carson) Now, how do you plead?

Admiral Bill Carson: We're innocent.

Freemysoul: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

(Superimposed caption: 'DIABOLICAL LAUGHTER')

Cry of Wolves: We'll soon change your mind about that!

(Superimposed caption: 'DIABOLICAL ACTING')

Freemysoul: Abombs, fear, and a most ruthless-- (controls himself with a supreme effort) Ooooh! Now, Badmin -- the bannu!

(Cry of Wolves produces a poorly made Perma Ban Request as well as dropping a few pictures of gay furry art across the floor. Freemysoul looks at it and clenches his teeth in an effort not to lose control. He hums heavily to cover his anger)

Freemysoul: You....Right! Tie him down.

(Sir Lordington and Cry of Wolves make a pathetic attempt to tie Carson on to the Ban Request)

Freemysoul: Right! How do you plead?

Admiral Bill Carson: Innocent.

Freemysoul: Ha! Right! Badmin, give the ban (oh dear) give the ban.. a bump.

(Cry of Wolves stands their awkwardly and shrugs his shoulders)

Cry of Wolves: I....

Freemysoul: (gritting his teeth) I *know*, I know you aren't supposed to do that. I didn't want to say anything. I just wanted to try and ignore your crass mistake.

Cry of Wolves: I...

Freemysoul: It makes it all seem so stupid.

Cry of Wolves: Shall I...?

Freemysoul: No, just pretend for Apop's sake. Ha! Ha! Ha!

(Cry of Wolves edits the ban request slightly to maybe make someone notice it)

(The door bell rings and Chen gets up and goes to answer it.)

[EchoingPhaser]

A true masterpiece my friend, a work of art to be stored and observed for generations, bravo good sir bravo!

[Bancrose]

top tier shitpost

+1

[ghost120]

God tier story, loved it

[VitorThauma]

Oh wow, this is beautiful +1

[Cry of Wolves]

I am not that awkward. >:(

[Royal Griffon]

NOBODY EXPECTS THE ADMEME INQUISITION